Who Else Is In The Mood To Walk Barefoot Over The Moors In A Blood-red Velvet Ballgown W Anguish In Ur

hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

reblog to join a school of fish with prev

"why do I feel so terrible?"

-person who forgot to take their not-feeling-terrible medication

Maomao: Not to worry. I have a permit.

Court lady: This just says, "Maomao can do what she wants" with master Jinshi signature.

i don't respect americans and what they refer to as chicken sandwiches because when i was working at my old job as a barista slash sandwich bitch (australian) i had this american tourist come in and order a chicken sandwich so i started MAKING. her. a chicken sandwich. asked her what kind of bread she wanted and she looked at me funny. i said We have sourdough, rye, multigrain, wholemeal, plain white bread. she said I Want A Chicken Sandwich. i, roughly 19 years old at the time and not getting paid enough to deal with rude americans, realised we were at some sort of stalemate, although i didn't really know why. i change tacks for a second and say Okay. Well would you like chicken schnitzel or would you like plain roast chicken. and she says. Are You Listening To Me? I Said I Wanted A Chicken Sandwich. i am smiling at her from behind the counter and gripping a large knife. "i'm trying to make one for you, i promise. i just need to know what kind of bread and what kind of chicken and also what other fillings you want". or at least i say something LIKE that. secretly at this point i'm hoping that she outright yells at me so i can have an excuse to go stand in the walk in freezer for a few minutes. eventually we figure out that her idea of a chicken sandwich and my idea of a chicken sandwich are not the same, and i have to explain to her that we don't have burger buns here and we also don't have fried chicken. she says fine, but she says it in a tone that indicates that she cannot believe this is happening to her and that it is, singularly, my fault. i give her a bunch of options for food we DO sell and she ends up ordering something With Ketchup. i smile at her and i say "oh you mean Tomato Sauce". i was antagonizing her just a little bit at this point. a tiny bit. because she deserved it. she looks me in the face and says, Americanly (smugly) something about my attitude and how she won't be tipping. i gleefully tell her "we don't have tipping here." and then i secretly charged her two extra dollars for being an awful person. and that's my story about americans and chicken sandwiches. okay love you.

Fiyero: Why did you give Glinda a knife?

Elphaba: "She said she didn't feel safe."

Fiyero: "Now I don't feel safe."

Elphaba: *looks a Glinda running around giggling maniacally with a knife*

*side eyes nervous Fiyero*

*hesitates* "Do...Do you want a knife?"

I hate checking out a piece of media your mutuals love dearly and just being unmoved. Unimpressed. Like I’m getting a bad grade in mutual a thing that is normal to fear and possible to achieve

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that's what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

Bold of you to assume that I emerge like Aphrodite from my bed

Save this for a rainy day

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3