Fucking Hell This Was Worth Wasting The Time To Read This Instead Of Doing The Pile Of Assignments Calling

Chapter 1: Remit to see, limit to see—Remind

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"Mornin boys, I'll be your escort today." Reina saluted them as they walked out the front door.

She wore a white button up blouse, leaving the first few unbuttoned to show off a good chunk of her cleavage. A coffee colored skirt that hugged her thighs, and her signature 3'' heels. She decided to forego the white coat with something more fashionable—a long beige coat that covered most of her from head to toe. Her hair tied up in a high ponytail.

Shirazu greeted her with a big smile and started to chat with her, but Urie on the other hand wasn't amused. In fact he was annoyed, but at least she was better than their other useless mentor—Haise Sasaki.

He rolled his eyes and walked away from both of them.

"Sorry to interrupt, 'razu, but Urie's leaving without us." She motioned with her thumb that he was at least a good foot away from them.

Quickly apologizing, the blonde boy scurried to catch up to the other boy and whined about how heartless he was for leaving without them. The purple haired boy remained quiet and didn't say a word and instead just kept walking.

Walking behind them she admired the scene in front of her, reminding her of the good times she had with her older sister before they started drifting apart. A small smile was etched on her face.

As they arrived at the warehouse the trio was met with an investigator.

"Aki—I mean Investigator Mado! I came to escort the boys to get their back up quinques." She bowed.

"Investigator Nakou, good to see that you're cleaning up your act. Good to see you too, investigators Urie and Shirazu." She nodded their way.

"Hey, I don't like what you're implying, Mado!" The lilac haired woman argued but sighed in defeat knowing it was true.

During the past few days she's been stepping up and acting more like a mentor than before. But she had yet to drop the facade she'd put up since she entered the CCG as mentioned after Akira spoke to her directly—though she had reason as to why she wanted to sell herself as the dumb-good-for-nothing-bimbo.

"Any progress with the case?" Mado ignored the whining woman and proceeded to converse with the two boys.

Shirazu beamed at the acknowledgement meanwhile Urie just answered her question—annoyed by all the small talk getting in the way of what they were originally came here for.

"A plain Tsunagi." Akira motioned as they were handed their quinque.

"That's so boring." Reina nagged.

"They're backups, and they're still as good as your own quinque."

"You mean Widow? My baby glides through everything so smoothly, I doubt these can be as good as Widow. Can't wait till you both get your own!" She turned to the boys and patted them on their shoulders.

"You two, don't neglect your quinques just because you can use a kagune. The quinque is an anti-ghoul weapon developed by former general chairman Yoshiu Washu—the father of General Chairman Tsuneyoshi Washu, in partnership with the German Bureau Chief Adam Gehenna." Akira went on,

"The CCG engaged ghouls with firearms back then but were ineffective against a ghouls' kagune. Research into an alternative weapon gave birth to the idea of using their own kagune against them—manufactured weapons based on a kagune. Quinques.”

Reina shifted from side to side seemingly uninterested with the topic at hand. She ended up zoning out in between the woman's history lesson on how they came to be.

"A soldier with a built-in quinque, if you will. That is what you Quinxes are. But, even with that ability—you are not ghouls. There are limits to a Quinx's ability." Akira turned to face them all,

"You've never seen Sasaki fight at his best, have you?" She asked.

Both males shook their heads at the higher up, meanwhile Reina just smirked at her question.

"No. But he uses a quinque very skillfully. There's much I can learn from him." Urie reluctantly complimented his useless mentor.

"Well if you both want to know, he's an interesting fighter. He uses techniques he's learned from the CCG until-"

"I think that's enough of that." Akria gave her a pointed look, meaning she's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed.

"I didn't say anything." Reina giggled and surrendered.

The boys just looked confused as to what was going on between both their mentors. Urie though understood that Reina held a lot more information than she led on. Just how much did she know about Haise Sasaki?

Turning back to the boys, Akira told them to always use their quinques and bid them goodbye.

"Let's get going. I know you both want to go find Torso—and I know you both have a lead on him." She crossed her arms across her chest.

Her face was uninterested as she told them. Immediately Shirazu tried to deny her claim, but quickly came to find out that he was a horrible liar. She could clearly see through him and it didn't help that Urie's usual poker face was falling apart. Veins littering his forehead indicating he was upset at being caught. How foolish could he be thinking that he could get away with such information.

"So you mind telling me your lead or should I tell Haise about this little scheme you have?"

"I think you might wanna speed up if we wanna catch up with them!" Reina yelled, gripping on to Urie's waist so as to not fall off Shirazu's motorcycle.

The three of them piled onto the vehicle, while both boys wore protective gear in case of an accident, Reina wore none at all seeing as she was not involved in the original plan to capture and eradicate Torso. Urie inevitably squished between the blonde boy and lilac haired girl.

"Karao Saeki!" Shirazu yelled.

Behind him Urie urged the same message realizing that they had no chance unless they did so. The blonde concerned about breaking the law hesitated to do so until both of them yelled at him to hurry up. The cab in front of them waved side to side in an attempt to avoid oncoming traffic.

Quickly Urie realized they could have an advantage if a certain person had the capability to do so.

"Take out the tires with your kagune!"

"Are you serious?!"

Looking behind him he saw that the purple haired boy was serious about his idea. Groaning at the plan he did so but warned him that if he missed they weren't to blame him

Swiftly pushing on the gas pedal the blonde released his ukaku. It branched out, spikes formed threatening to detach themselves from their place. Attempting his best at aiming at the cab he released three missiles continuously all imploding as they missed the cab.

Groaning at his incompetence, Urie jabbed at his horrible aim, but Shirazu just threatened to knock him off the bike.

"Could you both shut up and concentrate on the task at hand?!" The forgotten girl scolded the arguing duo.

At this point they were noticed by the cops and were told to pull over. Taking this as an opportunity to alert the cops of the upcoming danger Reina looked behind her and motioned her hand in an upward direction. As if getting the memo immediately the cop car sacrificed itself and pulled up by the cab attempting to tell them to pull over .

But in doing so—Torso—ripped their faces off with his kagune and flung them through the window to dispose of them. With no driver to maneuver the vehicle around it slammed into the wall of the tunnel they drove into. Just as Torso thought he had escaped law enforcement officials, the end of the tunnel was blocked off with a few barricades and cop cars surrounding them.

The cab came to a stop and the drivers door opened revealing a thin, half-naked man with his shirt wrapped around his face in an attempt to keep his identity anonymous. Hopping off the bike they all assumed a stance, not even a few seconds later Torso released his kagune and struck at the trio.

Unsurprised they dodged his attack and moved aside letting the expensive bike take the hit. Regaining his composure quickly, Shirazu released his ukaku and launched his projectiles towards the "masked" man. Shocked, the man was glued to the ground which left him to be the perfect target for the Quinxes onslaught.

They made quick work of him until a new obstacle made themself known to the trio. A masked person in a coat walked out of the shadows, their kagune ready to strike at anyone that gets in their way.

"I'm sorry but that scrawny half-naked guy is ours. You guys are Quinxes right? You use a kagune, right? You Doves make me downright sick. You're no different from Aogiri." The clearly distorted voice echoed throughout their ears.

A sense of familiarity struck the girl. That bikaku, that tone of voice—she swore she heard it from somewhere.

"And now that you've made me sick... I wanna have some." He snapped his head up eyes piercing through the mask,

"Nish-" Reina was interrupted with a strike thrown her way. She backed up and instinctively hid behind the abandoned cars.

Decidedly done with her he switched opponents, Torso long gone from the battlefield. Rate: S Orochi was now the main target. He dashed past the girl and swung his leg into Urie's gut—sending him flying into the wall of the ditch. The boy coughed up blood from the sheer force of the kick to his abdomen.

"Sorry, but I don't hold back against Doves. You'll get in my way one of these days. Better to nip you guys in the bud when I can." He sneered as he neared the bloodied up boy. Behind him Shirazu snuck up behind him and released a few missiles his way thinking they'd absolutely obliterate the masked man.

"What was that? A pea-shooter?" He mocked the blonde boy as he simply dodged them.

Both boys quickly got fed up with all his taunting. Wanting to get this over with, they came at him with all they've got. They swung their kagune and attempted to strike him, but all that came was more frustration. They jumped and leapt from place to place destroying more and more of their surroundings.

He kicked Urie down to the ground, his kokaku shattered and destroyed. He sat down on top of the destroyed cars and looked down at the furious boy, mocking him.

"That's it? For a kokaku? All it took was a kick? Guess it's an imitation after all." He chuckled.

The sound of footsteps could be heard growing louder and louder as they neared—Shirazu. He quickly took a stance and swiped at him releasing his missiles a dust cloud quickly forming not allowing them to see the extent of how much damage the blondes kagune actually did to the ghoul.

Once it cleared away he was left unscathed. Realizing they didn't have a chance to exterminate the Rate: S Ghoul Shirazu opted to retreat until backup came, not wanting to risk his life for something he knew they couldn't handle yet. Angry at his words Urie didn't relent, but instead tried to push forward. His method of keeping alive—self cannibalism.

He dug his teeth into the flesh of his forearm, the sound of squelching and the aroma of blood overwhelmed his senses. Reina looked his way, the smell of blood enticing her to take a bite of him. She shook her head and walked towards them.

"Hey four eyes! Seeing as they're useless, how about we have a match of our own?" She yelled out, a smirk creeping up her lips.

The ghoul turned around and looked at her,

"What's a bimbo like you doing in the CCG?"

"Still judging others based on their looks, Nishi? How about I remind you how strong me and my sister were when we kicked your ass."

She released her rinkaku, purple like tentacles reached out in front of her and in the blink of an eye they cleanly cut his hand off. She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Shit, I'm getting rusty. I meant to go for your whole arm. Luckily I got the other one though." She mumbled as she waved it around in her hand.

Her squad looked at her in awe and fear, the sheer speed and talent to distract someone was a talent to have at this point. They looked back at his figure and noticed that he was regenerating at a quick pace. His thick bikaku swayed back and forth before it readied to strike her until a quinque split it in half. She dissolved her kagune and watched the back up she called come to their aid.

"Sasan!!"

"Sir!"

"Who the hell are you? The king of the imitators?"

"Mutsuki, contact Investigator Mado.”

The man didn't respond to his taunting voice and instead went to attack the ghoul without a second thought. He uttered a word in between every attack and dedicated each attack with his heart—thinking about his squad with each swing of his sword. The Rate S ghoul eventually caught up to his attacks and gave him a taste of what he was like.

The ghoul muscled him in the gut like when he did so with Urie a few moments ago. Haise doubled over and screamed in pain, his quinque out of reach, probably somewhere behind him. He stayed there for a while until he rose to his feet, raising his right hand—he cracked his pointer finger, the same crack released his kagune.

In an instant Haise's demeanor changed. No longer was he the looked down upon investigator, but rather a strong, intimidating man. Just as the ghoul tried to attack Haise, he moved out the way like this wasn't the first time he engaged in a fight with a high rated ghoul. This was the first time the squad saw their mentor use his kagune at all.

He skillfully jumped and leapt away whilst keeping up with his attacks against the masked ghoul. Within a few seconds Haise had shattered the ghoul's kagune, and though it regenerated almost instantly, it was still a major feat for them.

"You're— tough." Haise gritted through his teeth just as Orochi approached him face to face,

"Well, thank you." He kicked Haise in the gut just like before, but this time Haise regained his composure in an instant and his kagune reached out to grab his quinque and it settled in the palm of his hands.

The squad noticed that he was depleting in stamina, his dodging time slowing down to the point where he was dodging the attacks just in the nick of time. When Orochi struck him again he fell to the floor, immediately coming to his aid the squad reached out for him but he put his arm out.

"Stay back-"

"We can still fight!"

"We're not just gonna stand here and watch-" they protested, but all Haise did was look back and grin at them.

"That's an order. Reina, help me would ya?" He motioned.

Grinning from ear to ear she slid her coat off her back and let it fall to the floor. She released her kagune, long, thick, deep purple tentacles following behind her as Haise stretched before going back to attack the Rate S ghoul.

"You definitely intrigue me more than those punks." The masked ghoul hummed.

Haise chuckled, "I'm not sure if I should be honored. But I don't think you want to get to know... me." He cracked his knuckle and attacked him without a warning.

Haise showed no mercy, his actions were a lot more fluid and natural, his instincts told him what was right and what was wrong. When Orochi leapt away from Haise's attack, Reina formed her kagune into thin, razor sharp arms and pinned him into place... like a spider with their prey. They pierced through his skin, his shoulders and hips; the areas bled profusely.

This gave Haise the perfect opportunity to pierce Orochi's abdomen like before. Haise didn't have any reaction, he just looked concentrated as his hand contorted as if it was the one controlling his every move. That was until his second tentacle pierced through another part of his torso. Haise began grinning from ear to ear as he continued his onslaught of torturing the ghoul. Painful groans along with squelching noises could be heard from the pinned body.

"Just returning the favor.." he smiled manically, clearly enjoying this little show of theirs.

Removing his kagune from the ghoul's abdomen Reina shoved and grated the masked ghoul into the wall of the tunnel. When she let go he dropped to the floor like a rag doll incapable of moving himself around.

Pushing themselves off their kagune they reached the now unmasked ghoul. The girl picked up the mask and hid it behind her, meanwhile the boy straddled him and looked like he was going to give him the easy way out.

"'I'm dying I'm dying...' is that how it goes?" He coughed out as he laid on the street

The duo paid no attention to his words.

"Oh buddy, guess you still haven't found salvation, huh... Kaneki." He revealed his face from underneath the hood he had on.

That familiar face... orange hair..

"...nishio..?" Haise slipped out.

Haise lost his mind. Memories distorted, blank faces haunting him, mouths moving but no sound coming from them. The only sound he could hear was his name ringing in his mind... Kaneki.

"Guess playtime's over Nishio, take care." She said as she tossed him his mask.

Walking over to Haise she hugged him, her kagune shattering his. She held him as he thrashed around her hold, her grip never letting loose. His nails dug into her skin drawing blood from the scratches, his screams and wails echoed throughout everyone's ears. The pain he inflicted onto her was nothing compared to his.

Memories of her hugging her restrained sister filled her head. She called out her fathers name, her name, she seeked comfort from those she trusted. Haise in return had no one to tell him to cry it out, to let him feel. No one but himself, and not having anyone to remember them by was a greater pain none of them would ever understand.

She took his hits, his scratches, until they ceased into small cries. The RC bullet put him to rest for a while. They both collapsed onto the floor as he muttered his name, Haise Sasaki, over and over again. Looking down at him, Reina brushed his hair aside in a comforting manner hoping he'd find comfort in it as it was the only thing she could do at the moment with all eyes on them.

Although he still clawed at her, the pain was much more manageable. She ran thimble fingers throughout his full head of hair and nodded at his words. "You're you," she caressed his face with her free hand, wiping his free flowing tears. She noticed her subordinates looking at them... fear... jealousy... and awe was clear on their faces. She felt his hand grasp her wrist, she looked down. He looked into her eyes and was about to speak up—almost expecting his words she reassured him,

"You didn't kill anyone, don't worry. We're all safe. Get some rest now, Haise."

And with those words of reassurance he closed his weary eyes. A deep slumber falling upon him. Sighing in relief Reina picked the man up with ease and carried him into one of the cars their back up came with. Closing the car door she went to pick up her discarded coat on the floor and threw it over herself.

"We're riding elsewhere, I'm driving."

"Will Sasan be okay?" They mumbled out.

"Of course he will. He always bounces back." She smiled back at them before she entered the escorted car.

wc: 3.3k previous chapter  masterlist next chapter

a/n: god i hate myself for cross posting this on so many platforms because of formatting. Next chapter will be the last one for the month. March i will post the next three chapters!

ps. i don’t care if you’re a minor or not, I know y’all are still gonna read. I’m not your guardian, that’s up to them. I’m not responsible for anything.

Tag list:

annoying.

pairing - james potter x slytherin!reader

summary - james potter has a crush on you, but you don't feel the same way. or do you?

trope/tags - friends to lovers (kind of), grumpy x sunshine (again, kind of), fluff

word count - 8.5k

warnings - language, mentions of sex

lowercase intended!!

the very first time james tried to get your attention was in your second year at hogwarts. he could not recall the exact moment he realised that he would do quite literally anything for you, even if it meant that he would have to die, but he knew for sure that you were the one he was meant to be with. remus thought he was being a bit dramatic, he was only twelve, for merlin's sake, what does he know about love, but james paid no mind to his worries and complaints. sirius, of course, supported him, and peter simply just trailed along hoping that they will make it out alive. why? well, you were a slytherin.

you were having lunch in the great hall with your peers like every other day. barty was acting like his usual joker self. which, frankly, was not his smartest idea, considering the blaringly obvious fact that everybody was eating and a choking hazard comes in package with laughing while chewing. no one really batted an eye, though. pandora was barely holding herself together, and evan was miserably failing at keeping a straight face. regulus was rather unphased and continued shoving pieces of beef into his mouth, but not while secretly chuckling at the stupid faces barty was making. you and dorcas, being the oldest ones, attempted to calm them all down, but your worries went on deaf ears. regardless, you were having a wonderful time, blissfully unaware of what your life was about to turn into.

"oi, l/n!" the laughter around you faded away and everybody's focus was now shifted to james standing at the entrance of the great hall.

"is that potter?" pandora wiped her tears away and rose up from her seat to see the show which was about to unfold. you furrowed your eyebrows as you slipped away into thought, picturing all sorts of possible terrifying scenarios, because why the hell was he addressing you all of a sudden? out of all people? and so loudly? you'd only ever spoken to him in potions class the previous year when slughorn assigned you to work together.

it was all very confusing and you weren't sure what to make of it.

you panicked when james started walking towards you and failed to notice the way your friends sniggered at the way your face went completely pale, just like that. he slipped into the empty spot next to you, smiling while he was waiting for your reaction. gasps left the mouths of multiple slytherins at the table, and your eyes widened in horror when you recieved dirty looks from snape and his peers. they were certainly going to terorise you and your friends for that.

it took you a few seconds, but you managed to connect the dots in your head. those sudden behavioural changes whenever you passed him in the corridors, the all but subtle glances he would send your way, the smiles, that weird twinkle in his eyes - everything suddenly made sense, as much as you hated to admit it. james potter had a crush on you, and he finally mustered up the courage to do something about it. and in the stupidest way possible.

"hello." you tried sound as polite as you possibly could despite wanting him to give him a hard push to the floor. you were everything but delighted by his presence, and restored to picking at the food in your plate without sparing him a second glance. regulus let out a snort.

"can i ask you something?" he leaned forward on the table with his hand supporting his chin. he was way too enthusiastic for your comfort and you wanted him gone.

"uh, alright, i guess." you shrugged lazily, biting the inside of your cheek in distress. part of you felt like you should let him speak; what if it was school related? potter was smart, and you could use some help on your transfiguration essays. the other part of you, however, was just about ready to strangle you.

"wanna be my girlfriend?" he smiled stupidly and it was followed by hollering and cheering from his friends, including your own. the students at the gryffindor table all appeared to have a million questions running through their minds, and your fellow housemates were not very pleased - not only did he ruin their lunch, but he was a gryffindor. and top of it, he was james potter.

you did a double-take. your mouth fell open in surprise. this was exactly what you feared.

"what?! no!" you whisper-yelled, petrified by his offer. your face was on fire, and not because you were flattered by his words, but purely out of embarrassment. barty and evan dissolved into laughter.

"okay, then how about a date first?" he was persistent and you moved away from him by instinct, only to have dorcas push you forward and towards him.

"no! go away!" you hissed, mortified, and turned your face away from him to hide the fact that it was burning. you almost reached for your wand and hexed them both.

"i have a book with some cool jinxes that i can teach you! it'll be fun! please!" he kept pushing, his eyes sparkling with hope. you swore you felt like smoke was about to come bursting out of your ears. regulus reached from behind dorcas and tapped your back in a comforting manner, but you did not miss the way he smirked after he retrieved his hand.

"teach me?! do you think i'm stupid?!" you snapped, finally whipping your head in james' direction with rage evident on your face.

"i thought you wanted to learn the– ow!" you kicked barty in the shin from under the table. the sudden impact made everybody's plates shake. "hey, i almost spilled my soup!"

"come on, y/n! please!" he decided to shoot his shot one more time, this time with puppy eyes, and a sodding pout, but you refused to give in. nothing in the world could have made you say yes to james bloody potter.

"no." you said sternly, crossing your arms and not allowing yourself to look in his direction again.

"fine! but just so you know, i'm not giving up," he stood up, it was amusing to you how unaffected he was by your rejection. he was as enthusiastic as he was when he first took a seat next to you, "i'm gonna make you mine."

***

and james kept his promise. the next several years at hogwarts became certainly memorable. getting rejected bruised the gryffindor boy's ego, so he was determined to prove himself to you and became quite a little show off. he was awfully cocky, and to top it all off, he did the absolute stupidest things to try and impress you - from jinxing snape after he heard him berate you for messing up a potion, to straight up helping you cheat in transfiguration class and getting himself a year's worth of detentions. he was a gentleman, though, and didn't try to pressure you into going out with him after you made it clear that you did not want to. as much as he adored you, he never went out of his way to actually do something that would cause you discomfort. no, that was his biggest nightmare.

funny enough, it was also why your hatred for him began fading away, and very unfortunately for you, there was no going back. you really had no true reason to dislike him as much as you did, which only made you loathe him even more. truth be told, you felt bad, and that was what you hated the most.

after james' terribly unsuccessful attempt at asking you out, things became rather awkward and you did everything in your power to avoid him. you despised him, or so you told yourself. your friends were sure you did, you spoke about him with so much venom in your voice that pandora thought they'd have to lock you up to stop you from using a forbidden curse on him. but then somehow, the two of you formed a strange sort of relationship, one would even call it friendship - james would randomly wind up in the same places you (he'd always claim that it was only coincidental), but you wouldn't chase him away. yeah, you'd be mean to him, obviously, and any normal person would probably cry, but he was enjoying it, because, well, it was you. when you grew closer to the gryffindor girls, mary macdonald managed to open your eyes and you saw that james wasn't the creep you assumed he was. so, you warmed up to him, and by some strange miracle, stopped completely loathing him and his presence.

though you still found him completely, utterly and unbearably annoying.

"oi, l/n! what you up to?" he showed up in the astronomy tower where you were reading one gloomy afternoon. regulus must have told him where you were, looks like someone's sleeping on the floor tonight. the lake seemed like a perfect place to drop a bed into at times. it's not that you didn't want james there, it's just that you didn't want to see anybody at that particular moment. you had grown to love colder weekends. they were the perfect excuse to avoid any unwanted trips to hogsmeade that would usually lead to you getting in trouble because barty had a habit of setting off a dozen dungbombs to poke at mulciber and snape. as satisfying as it was, you had gotten enough detentions that year and you weren't exactly prepared to receive another howler.

so, you just couldn't miss out on the perfect opportunity to go up into the astronomy tower and read in the peaceful atmosphere. it had always been much calmer up there compared to the other parts of hogwarts.

"reading." you replied flatly, returning your gaze back to the text in front of you. or at least you pretended to do so. no matter how hard you tried, you could not focus again, so you kept your eyes on the same sentence while you waited for him to do something. for a moment, you wondered what he had been up to before he found you. he peeked over your shoulder to take a better look at the writing.

you did not say a word, and you realised that if you sat there pretending to read while waiting for him to leave you alone would most likely take hours, so you continued trailing your eyes over the letters, and got lost in the story once again.

what you didn't notice is that he got invested too, completely by accident. it wasn't james' intention to come down there and read with you, he wasn't even sure what you were up to and all he wanted was to see you, but there he was, reading from behind your shoulder in the tranquil ambient of the tower.

it was when he suddenly asked you to wait before flipping the page that you realised he had been reading with you all along, and you squinted your eyes at him with a glint of curiosity in them.

"what are you doing?" you quiered. the sudden shift in the atmosphere took him off guard a bit, and he gulped when you locked your eyes with his own.

"reading?"

"didn't know that was a synonym for being an annoying little git."

"i'm not that bad." he defended himself, trying to look back at the letters. you scoffed.

"i thought you hated books." you hid the writing away from his gaze and quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

"i don't hate them. i just prefer not to read." he responded, sounding a lot more cocky than intended which drew a chuckle from you.

"way to impress a girl." you rolled your eyes.

"i am professional at it." you laughed in his face.

"at least you're honest," you shrugged, he furrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement, "merlin, are you daft? what i mean is, you're staying true to yourself. not pretending that you enjoy something just to sweep me off my feet. it's admirable."

"of course i am! i could never lie to you. you're the most beautiful creature i have ever beheld in my sight." you let out an exaggerated sound of disgust, pressing your palm against his face and pushing him away, "lay off, romeo."

"oh!" he stood up suddenly, putting his hand over his heart dramatically and looking up, "with love’s light wings did i o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out. " he glanced back at you. you guffawed, looking at him in bewilderment, "where on earth have you managed to hear that?"

"watched romeo and juliet in the theatre during holidays." you cocked an eyebrow at him. never would you have thought that james potter was the one who'd take interest in muggle literature and films. "got a favourite scene?"

james pursed his lips in thought. "the morning after." he wiggled his eyebrows and sat back down.

"that's disgusting." you laughed.

"i'm only joking, i think the balcony one would be my favourite. i'd say it's very romantic," he shrugged with a sly smirk, "and it also made me feel the least emotional pain, if you know what i mean." he put a hand to his chest for dramatic effect and sighed.

"oh, merlin." you rolled your eyes playfully, letting out a snigger at his act. "look, i'm gonna be straightforward with you right now," you began. james sat up straight. you held back a laugh, poor fool probably thinks you'll return his sorry little feelings.

"you're not nearly as distasteful as i thought you were." you poked his arm. james looked a bit perplexed, almost as if he was expecting something more (which he was).

but then he laughed breathlessly, seeming more proud than disappointed. you couldn't help but chuckle. he bit the inside of his cheek in thought as he took in the sight of you, wondering how in the hell he got so lucky to know you. you may not feel the same way, but you surely make his life seem like an utopia, even though you're quite mean to him.

"continue, please." he reached over your arm to turn the page. you were rather intrigued by whatever that was.

"hold on for a second. why are you here, exactly?" you leaned forward to prop your chin in the palm of your hand, observing his face attentively as he scratched the back of his neck in thought.

"i guess i wanted to see you." he responded honestly.

"and there i was hoping you had something exciting to tell me." he chuckled lowly. you had come to notice that his voice was getting deeper. it wasn't high pitched and annoying anymore, definitely a lot less infuriating.

"wait, i didn't finish–" he tried to stop you before you could turn the page. "sorry, guess you gotta read faster."

"that isn't fair."

"i beg to differ."

"you're so not cool."

"then why d'you keep pining over me?" james opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. he huffed and crossed his arms. you smiled in victory, laughing when he stuck his tongue out at you.

***

by the end of year four, you had read about ten books together. he even read muggle poetry to you in the hospital wing when you got sick, which, to nobody's surprise, lead to what seemed like never-ending teasing from barty and evan (who were also james' biggest hypemen aside from the marauders). when you looked back at it a few years later, you realised that it was the moment when your first romantic feelings for him started blooming, though you would have never admitted it at the stubborn and rebellious age of fourteen. you were headstrog, a bit in denial as pandora liked to say, and top of it off, you were hard to please. in between all of that was james, who wasn't subtle about being head over heels for you in the least bit, and who would have done anything to get your attention. a match made in heaven, really.

you loved to tease him about it. he sometimes wondered why he had to be the one to fall in love with you. that's where the worst part of it all came in; feeling insecure, comparing himself to his friends, secretly wishing he was sirius (since all the gryffindor heartthrob had to do to win a girl over was to wink in her direction) and an existential crisis as an extra in the package. you clearly were never interested in him, and he couldn't help but think you never would be. sometimes, all he was doing seemed pointless, but he kept telling himself that one day you'll love him the way he loves you.

when your fifth year rolled around, you thought he would've dropped the act by then. you had matured over the summer, or at least you believed you had, and you assumed he had too. you had what some may call a summer romance with some stupid muggle boy, and to everybody's surprise, you were the one to break his heart after realising that whatever you felt for him wasn't love. a little something was stopping you from loving him and you may or may not have attempted to obliviate yourself in order to forget about james. obviously, you failed. stupid idiot.

the entirety of your holidays, you kept wondering if james had got over you, or if he was more lucky than you when it came vacation romance. you thought about him meeting a girl who actually cared for him and returned his feelings instead of teasing him, a girl that could have made him forget you completely, a girl who he had a happy ending with. you rather hated the mere thought of that. thinking about it caused an unexplainable ache in your heart.

much to your own delight, you were totally wrong.

however, things were not the same as they were the three previous years. you two became almost inseparable. dorcas kept teasing james, calling him a thief, saying he took her best friend from her. he would play along, tease her back, and tell her that he's a better best friend anyway. it made your heart flutter in a disgustingly sweet way.

you hated the way he made you feel. you hated the way you wanted to see him more often instead of avoiding him. you hated the way he smiled at you. you hated the way he tried to make you more comfortable by pointing out that you are indeed just friends. you hated james potter, yet you couldn't get enough of him.

you would never admit it, though, no. he was still that stupid little boy who offered to teach you jinxes, that idiot who chased snape away from you like a proper knight in a shining armour, that tosser who's voice was still cracking when you read together in the tower, that adorable–

"do you fancy going to hogsmeade with me tonight?" james appeared from behind you the moment you exited the classroom after finishing with ancient runes.

"studying, sorry." you shrugged, pulling out a piece of parchment to remind yourself which class you had next. "really? that's more important than me?" he sighed in disappointment, trotting after you as you began making your way over to the transfiguration classroom.

"who said you're important to me?" you smirked and looked over your shoulder. he flipped you off with a playful eyeroll, chuckling at the way you looked so proud of yourself for that comment. "i'll meet you at the portrait at six." you added.

the two of you entered the classroom, laughing over some horrible joke he cracked on the way. you took your usual seat next to dorcas who shot you a funny look the moment you stepped through the door.

"what?" you deadpanned before slamming your book onto the table and flipping through the pages. "care to explain?"

"explain what?" you scrunched your face up at the amused look on her face.

"twat," she slapped your shoulder, "you and potter?" dorcas motioned her head towards him, and you looked his way to find him scribbling something down into sirius' book. he looked up just in time to meet your eyes and sent a smile your way. you grinned back and turned to your friend again.

"what about me and him?" you weren't quite sure where she was getting at with whatever the hell this was. she knew your relationship with james was platonic with a capital p, simple as that. she laughed in your face.

"dorcas! don't be ridiculous, he's only my friend." you leaned back in your seat, profusely blushing and crossing your arms over your chest. everybody knew that you and james were just friends. nothing more.

"i think you better tell him that." lily turned in her seat to face to you. mary, who was sitting next to her, only nodded her head which confirmed that she wasn't on your side either. and neither was marlene who looked rather amused observing you from the table next to yours. of course she wasn't, the fact that she fancied dorcas was more obvious than she thought.

"oh, please. he even calls himself my best friend, you lot are delusional."

"fuck, y/n, you're hopeless." dorcas groaned, exchanging some disappointed glances with the gryffindor girls. she let her head fall down onto the table in frustration. you scoffed, averting your eyes to james and keeping them there for a while.

that was how the rest of your fifth year went; you and james being friendly, him asking you to accompany him on some stupid adventures he often came up with, you playing hard to get, but agreeing to hang out in the end. all of that would usually be followed by dorcas'... and pandora's... and lily's... and pretty much everybody's pointless attempts to talk some sense into your head. you would brush them off, saying he's just a nice bloke who's nobody but just a good pal of yours. you even said it to sirius.

and all of you knew that wasn't true.

***

soon enough, you began your sixth year and james was starting to lose his mind. he was so in love with you, he could barely keep a calm act around you. hiding it became a lot more difficult. he was convinced that you thought he was over you, because why on earth would somebody still be friends with a person who rejected them and showed zero interest in a romantic relationship? he felt miserable. he wanted you by his side, but just friendship wasn't enough to ease the ache in his heart. one thing was for sure, and that was that he had to talk to you.

he needed to let you know that he still loved you, and pour out all of his feelings if it was necessary. he thought that if you rejected him again, he would drop the whole thing and really, truly settle for just being friends, and that is, if you end up wanting anything to do with him. it would be difficult, getting over you. it would hurt, coming to terms with it all would be an absolute nightmare. he would be heartbroken without a doubt, but he believed he could manage it if he tried hard enough. lies.

very conveniently, you and james got into a bit of trouble that day. that was a well-known concept to you both. neither of you completed your major muggle studies essay on time, hell, you hadn't even started with yours, so you decided to do the only rational thing. which was to ditch the class.

it was nerve-wracking, sneaking through the corridors and trying to avoid getting caught by mrs. norris, or filch, maybe even by a professor, but you managed to make it to the grand staircase. you thought you were going to succeed, you were so close, but surprise, surprise - you were caught by bloody dumbledore himself. instead of cooperating, you tried to make a run for it and hide in a broomstick closet, just in time for filch to catch you.

task failed successfully.

you weren't sure how you managed to dodge getting forbidden from going to hogsmeade or even leaving the school premise, as that was the punishment you both expected to get for running away from the headmaster, but you were more than grateful that the man settled for simply giving you detention.

"do you fancy going for a walk by the lake tonight?" you questioned when you finished cleaning the floor of the potions classroom after your poor attempt at skipping muggle studies.

"what?" james mumbled incoherently, bending over to pick up some crumpled up parchment under one of the seats.

"that was a yes or no question." you crossed your arms. you weren't sure where you were getting all of the confidence from, but you settled for blaming in on james and his self-assuring personality which had quite the influence on you, even though you willingly began spending a little too much time with him. you cursed mentally.

"wait, huh?" he stopped what he was doing, looking rather confused.

"was i not clear enough?" you rolled your eyes in a teasing manner.

"you're asking me to hang out?" his entire face lit up, a hopeful smile found its way to his lips. "yeah, silly, that's what friends do," you scoffed, though you were slightly crumbling on the inside, "so don't you dare treat it as a date." you quickly added, fixing your stance and straighteing your back to come off more relaxed. regardless of your shitty attempt at trying to pretend you were disinterested in him, james looked like he just won the lottery.

"of course." he scrambled to clean up the rest of the mess under the seats as fast as possible. he could not believe you. it truly seemed like he the odds were in his favour that day. just when he was planning on giving up and destroying everything, that simple question restored all the hope he had lost. that was the first time you asked him to hang out. it was usually him initiating everything. you quietly giggled at his overjoyed reaction, and a strange feeling washed over you. you ignored it, all of it, and settled for avoiding his gaze as much as you could for the last thirty minutes of detention.

eight o'clock rolled around so fast you could barely keep track of it. you were in a state of disarray - nervous, panicking and desperately trying to come up with some excuse you haven't used to brush james off before just so that you didn't have to show up. but that would be stupid, wouldn't it? you were the one who wanted to hang out. dorcas, evan, barty, regulus and even pandora were laughing at you, showing no signs of wanting to help you and refusing to give you any form of emotional support whatsoever.

"what great friends you are." you remarked sarcastically, pulling the first jumper you saw in your trunk over your head.

"isn't that his?" barty smirked devilishly, scanning the clothing item with his eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows, looking down just to see that the gryffindor jumper you put on did not in fact belong to you. your eyes went wide. all five of your friends convulsed with laughter when you scrambled to take it off. evan fell off of dorcas' bed right onto the hard floorboards.

"i don't know how it got here, but i swear it's not what you think!" regulus was clutching his stomach after joining evan on the floor, and you threw the jumper right in his face. pandora wiped some tears away with the sleeve of her shirt and then quietly chuckled again as she was trying to stop any more tears from coming.

"i will strangle you all, i'm not joking." you lifted your hands up in frustration, stomping back to your trunk and this time taking a shirt you were sure was yours.

"oh, c'mon, we're only teasing you," dorcas stood up, walking over to where you were and hugging you from behind, "i'm sure the laundry got mixed up." barty trailed off, and you could see him holding back a grin.

"right, but," dorcas pulled away from you and began walking backwards towards the door, "it would be quite romantic if you kept it after a nice shag, wouldn't it?"

"dorcas!" you screeched, and she was out of your reach before you even made it halfway towards the door. your friends burst into giggles again, or what was left of them, as evan and regulus were half-dead. you were a blushing mess, and you left your room resembling an angry child who was moments away from throwing a tantrum, but not without james' quidditch jumper in your hands.

you didn't notice the strange looks you were given by the students you passed by in the dungeons. you looked furious, with your jaw clenched and your face beet red, all while holding onto something which belonged to a certain dark-haired gryffindor. your thoughts did not seem to go in that direction even once. you could think of nothing but james.

the mere thought of him made you feel strange. it was a feeling that wasn't too familiar to you, but you had quite clear of an idea of what it could be and it was devouring you. simply looking at him made you feel giddy. his smile would make your heart jump. the light brush of his shoulder against yours would make you shiver. you were in love. but boy were you stubborn.

"who hurt you?" you stopped in your tracks when you heard james' voice come from behind you. you met his warm gaze. there it was, that flutter in your heart again. you blamed his smile for it. you almost cringed at yourself, you were so preoccupied by thinking of him that you failed to acknowledge his actual presence.

was he always that attractive? his eyes are so pretty. how's his skin that perfect? god, his lips look-

your swallowed harshly, feeling heat rush to your cheeks and the handsome boy standing in front of you gave you a questioning look. you cleared your throat before handing him his jumper.

"i found this in my trunk." you looked down in embarrassment, crossing your arms and fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of your shirt.

"oh!" he took it from your hands, his jaw fell slack, "how did that - there must've been mix up with the laundry."

"probably." you replied dryly, avoiding his gaze. "won't you be cold?" he questioned when he noticed how light the shirt you had on looked. the sleeves reached your elbows, the material was almost see through and certainly not suitable for chilly autumn weather.

"i'll manage." you shrugged lazily, looking down at the floor. those old tiles seemed rather amusing all of a sudden. 

"put it on." you lifted your head. you looked at the clothing item, then at james. you sighed and reached for the soft material. "thanks," you mumbled under your breath, holding the jumper close to your chest in a tightening grip, "should we go now? or are we just gonna stand here like idiots?" you put on a smile, hoping it would look convincing enough and hide the embarrassing fact that you were nervous. really nervous. first date nervous. you may have had to remind yourself that that little hangout of yours was supposed to platonic. friendly. not romantic. definitely not a date with that boy who's life goal was to win you over because he was desperately in love with you. and he fucking succeeded.

you lost track of time. neither of you knew how many hours had passed or how long you'd been sitting at the shore, lost in conversations about something that may seem so irrelevant to the ears of others, but so important to the two of you. you found comfort in being able to open up to james. it was different than talking to dorcas, or evan, or any of your other friends. it warmed your heart, and in a strange way, it felt like home.

you only realised how late it had gotten when the sky above you turned dark and became covered with stars. finishing that date off with stargazing would have been a delight, but rain decided to make an unexpected visit and ruined your good plans.

you retreated inside together through one of the passageways james and the other three marauders managed to discover, tippy toeing your way through the corridors in attempt to go unseen and unheard. you successfully made it through the portrait hole without alerting a prefect, and you stepped through the door of james' room, sighing in relief. james could finally release the breath he was holding all the way down from the lake. that was one of the rare times he didn't fail at sneaking around without his cloak. you celebrated a tad bit too soon, though - the high pitched voice of a seventh year girl who was supposed to keep the peace at night came from behind you, and you froze in your spot. james gulped, making eye contact with you before turning to face her.

"potter, what on earth are you doing outside at this hour?" james laughed uncomfortably, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie as he tried to come up with an excuse, "i was uh," he let out a cough, making the prefect eye him suspiciously, "i was using the bathroom."

"why aren't you wearing your pyjamas?"

"i was busy doing, uhm, something else, y'know, forgot to change and stuff."

"and what is that thing that you were doing, exactly?"

"i don't really think you'd wanna know." he grinned in misery, and you had to slap your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from making any sounds. the girl's eyes widened as she realised what the younger meant. she turned beet red and massaged her temples in frustration.

"merlin's beard, oh, fuck– shit! get out of my sight, we'll pretend this never happened. shoo, leave."

"sorry." he gave her one last awkward smile before sliding into his room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it. "remind me not to do that ever again."

"why not? that was pretty hilarious." you snickered at his demeanor - the boy's cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment.

"that poor girl probably thinks i was wanking in there." he groaned, waddled away from the door and slumped down onto his bed. the springs in the mattress squeaked from the impact. "if i don't get kicked out this year, then i must be a walking felix fucking felicis." he continued rambling as he began digging through the mess under his bed.

"where are your friends?" you looked around the room curiously. the other marauders were nowhere to be seen. "they're sleeping in the girls dormitory tonight."

you hummed as you took a seat on the floor beside him and eyed some of the items he had scattered around. a couple of chocolate frogs, some crumpled pieces of parchment and quills, a few records, and an empty bag of whatever the hell he got at zonko's next to a small stack of books. "so, what do we do now?" you looked his way, and he shrugged as he ducked under his bed, with only his legs peeking out. the action drew a snort from you. he dusted himself off as he dove back from under the bed.

"can you help me out?" he scratched the back of his head.

"what are we looking for here, exactly?" you questioned as you peeked underneath. "no clue. i'm trying to find something fun we can do."

"have you still got that book about jinxes?" james blinked in surprise. "with the ones i offered to teach you, what, like four years ago?" he gave you an amused smile.

"yeah, figured i should make up for breaking your heart or whatever." and definitely not because you realised that it was a perfect date idea. definitely not.

"i might, if sirius hasn't snatched it." he shrugged and then you both started digging through the dark and dusty mess of books, boxes and smelly socks.

"is this," your hand grabbed onto something which felt like a glass bottle, "muggle alcohol?!" you laughed at the way james' face went pale.

"i swear that's not mine!" he immediately defended himself, reaching for the bottle desperately.

"no need to lie, potter, i've a fair share of that stashed under my bed as well."

by two in the morning, both of you were absolutely pissed, but had no intention of stopping until the bottle was completely empty. so much for the jinxes.

"have you ever shagged somebody?" it was strange. the alcohol seemed to have effects similar to what was known as the veritaserum. so apart from the constant laughing fits it gave you, it made you both feel rather confident. so confident you kept spilling out truths and secrets not even your friends knew. and, well, it made you flirty. especially yourself. just a few hours ago, you were freaked out by the mere thought of getting involved romantically with the boy in front of you, but now you were shamelessly asking each other questions about your love lives. not to mention that you managed to lose your clothes in the process. james was shirtless, and you lost your trousers.

"how dare you ask me such a question?" james gasped dramatically, drawing a snort from you, "i reckon your body count is higher than mine."

"are you calling me a slut, potter?" you asked in amusement, he shrugged lazily with a smirk on his lips, "no, i'm calling you more attractive than myself."

"why thank you, my dear friend," you smiled, feeling another surge of confidence shoot through you after receiving the drunken compliment. friend. that word suddenly sounded strange.

"i haven't." james finally spoke after a few moments of silence. that little soberity you had left was what held you back from smiling.

"me neither." james bit his tongue. he felt like he could breathe normally, at last. you were relieved, and so was he.

"virgins." he let himself fall back onto the floor. you scoffed, snatching the bottle out of his hand.

by the time the sun had started to rise, you were fast asleep - james sitting down with his back up against the wall, and you on the floor with his jumper posing as your pillow. james was lucky that lily and the girls agreed to take in his three idiot friends that night because he would have had to deal with endless teasing if they had been present.

the sound of a loud knock on the door shook you both awake, and your head was met with the bottom of sirius' bed when you tried to sit up. you groaned out in pain, letting your head fall down onto the red jumper that smelled of that specific vanilla-scented bodywash only james used. you hated how you loved it.

"potter!" dorcas' voice pierced through the door from the other side, and the boy groggily sat up, making his way over to the door. the hangover headache was unbearable, but it was something he could have expected as an aftermath of last night's turn of events. the whiskey bottle lied empty on the floor. he wasn't sure how either of you managed it, but he woke up to a clean floor, and no stomach-turning stench of vomit.

"you knocked?" he leaned against the doorframe, his vision a bit blurry as he barely had time to think or grab his glasses after being woken up so suddenly.

"have you by any chance seen y/n?"

he wordlessly opened the door wider, and a very exhausted, hungover looking creature came into dorcas' view.

"what's this?" dorcas smirked, resting her hands on her hips.

"uh, a friendly hangout? what else? wait, where are my trousers?" you murmured, not quite sure of what you were stating as your brain hadn't woken up properly just yet. the piercingly painful headache was not helping.

"friendly, huh?" she eyed you both with a hint of mischief in her eyes. "yes, friendly." james confirmed.

dorcas sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her pointer finger and thumb. she felt a migrane incoming. you tiredly stood up from the cold floor, feeling a wave of pain shoot through your back from lying on such a hard surface. "goddammit, remind me to sleep on the bed next time." you winced, stretching in attempt to soothe the pain.

dorcas left, with marlene trailing along with her (to nobody's surprise), after you and james decided to head down to the kitchen to ask the house elves for some leftovers from breakfast since you missed it. you were lucky that the elves loved you both, and you were given a few pieces of toast as well as some strawberry jam.

you sat in the gryffindor common room, quietly chatting with james. mary and remus joined you and they took their seats in the chairs in the corner of the room, along with sirius who claimed that sitting in between remus' legs was more comfortable than any armchair. you and james, however, were squashed together on the sofa. you recieved several questioning looks from other students. not necessarily because you were a slytherin in the gryffindor common room, but because you sat so close to one another. you were practically sitting in his lap. someone unaware of the status of your relationship would have assumed you were dating. james' friends noticed too, but decided not to say anything, though they couldn't hide those proud smiles that found their ways to their lips.

***

you could not stop thinking about that night for days. and you did everything you could to forget about it. you drowned yourself in school work just to wipe the thought of it out of your mind. hell, you did extra credit. you even bullied pandora into being a model for your paintings for two weeks straight, and went as far as to make yourself accompany barty on his daily adventures where he was essentially begging for detention. but nothing was helping. that was the best date of your life. not like you had many to chose from, but it was the best. shit.

"oh, for fuck's sake! it was not a date! shut up!" you said to yourself, or to be more specific, your malfunctioning brain. you were speed-walking through the corridors, your breath uneven and cheeks red.

you came back from the gryffindor dormitories to the dungeons after another friendly hangout with james. all those things you did to forget about the first one ended up seeming rather pointless. much to your dismay, you realised you can't go too long without seeing him, as it turned out. the boy successfully found his way into your heart after all those years. and you didn't even know why. well, him being james potter should be enough of an explanation. you were visibly flushed. dorcas raised both of her eyebrows once she saw you and then fell back into her pillow, shaking with laughter.

"oh merlin, you are so red." she pointed at your face, giggling uncontrollably.

"great observation skills, meadowes." you responded sarcastically, pulling james' jumper over your head and tossing it onto your bed. yes, you forgot (read: didn't want) to return it, and no, he didn't mind because he wanted you to have it.

"where's everyone?" you quickly changed the subject. you were not ready to talk about whatever the hell your relationship with james was at that moment. you were pretty sure you wouldn't ever be ready to talk about it.

"well, regulus is probably throwing snape into the lake. again. barty and evan are surely snogging somewhere and i think pandora went for a poo, but i'm not sure." dorcas shrugged. her eyes didn't leave you, which obviously meant she was curious about what happened while you were gone. of course she was, she was one of your best friends after all. one of them, just like james. she may have got strange thrills from teasing you, but she cared about you and she made sure you knew that. so did the rest of your friends, even though they were all out and about in that given moment.

you sighed, covering your face with your hands. you felt guilty - not because you were in love with james, hell no, but because it took you so long to admit it to yourself. you never once thought of his feelings or what you've been putting him through for all those years. the first time you felt a bit different while he was by your side, you chalked it up to some weird feelings of admiration and tried to forget about it. but then it just kept happening, and you couldn't simply brush it off and pretend it's nothing. you weren't even sure why you kept lying to yourself; maybe it was because you were so set on the two of you being just friends, maybe it was because you got so used to his presence and his embarassingly obvious eagerness that you couldn't imagine living your life without all of that in it.

tears welled up in your eyes, and you bit the inside of your cheek to prevent any sounds from escaping. dorcas was not as oblivious as you thought she might be. she could immediately tell something was wrong and she rushed over to your side, wrapping her arms around you until you were comfortable enough to speak.

"dorcas, i'm in love with him," you cried, clutching her shirt as she held you close to her chest. "i know, darling." she sighed.

"i'm such a bloody idiot."

"i would usually say that's not true, but i don't really think i'd be doing either of us a favour if i denied it." that drew a laugh from you, but you quickly returned to your messy state. dorcas kept rubbing comforting circles into your back until your shoulders stopped shaking and you were able to speak properly without breaking out into tears again.

"am i an awful person?" you quiered, staring into what seemed like a void to you. you looked lifeless, and dorcas sighed, putting her hand on your knee.

"y/n, we both know you aren't. and james knows that too."

"but what if i am? dorcas, i hurt him. i treated him like a puppet and i never took his feelings seriously."

"well, i can't argue that," she bit the inside of her cheek, "but you know, you couldn't have exactly done much about it. you can't just force yourself to love somebody. and some people take a while to come to terms with their feelings, and that's okay, so don't you dare blame yourself for that. he's still in love with you, anyway."

"i could have just not befriended him." you picked at your nails as you spoke.

"that wouldn't have helped him much, would it?"

"it wouldn't make him feel as miserable."

"maybe, but you'd break his heart either way and the poor bloke would probably still feel the same. look, he was annoying as shit, and you may have been a bit, well–"

"evil?" you interrupted. she covered your mouth with her hand. you blinked in surprise and she laughed at you.

"alright, yeah, but y/n, don't you think you could fix that now? you know, do something about it at last?"

"don't make me make you, 'cause you might be the next person to get dunked into the lake. i'm feeling particularly ruthless today." regulus suddenly appeared at the door, leaning against it with his arms crossed.

"how long have you been standing there?" you spoke once dorcas retrieved her hand.

"just got here, actually."

"as i was saying," dorcas raised her voice and then put a finger over her mouth to motion for regulus to shut up. he raised his hands up in defeat, "do what you need to do."

"you know what's tomorrow though, right?" regulus interrupted once again. you and dorcas exchanged confused glances, but her face shifted into something that seemed more amused than questioning.

***

"oi, potter!" you pushed open the door of the great hall. the laughter around james faded away and everybody's focus was now shifted to you standing at the entrance, but you were looking for one person's eyes in particular.

it didn't take you very long to find them. james' surprised gaze met your rather nervous one, and you made your way towards the gryffindor table, just like he skipped over to the slytherin one four years ago.

you slid into the empty spot next to him and smiled while you were waiting for him to say something. just like last time, you failed to notice the way all of the students around you chuckled as they watched the show unfold. all because of you and james, yet again.

"hello." he sat up straight, holding back a smile that wanted to make its way to his lips.

despite being friends for all those years, you never once had the chance to sit next to each other at lunch, other than that one particular day in your second year. so he took the sudden change in your behaviour as a good sign, especially after the events of the previous night, and the night at the lake.

"can i ask you something?" you leaned forward on the table with your hand supporting your chin. james furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and then his mouth fell open in surprise. he laughed breathlessly, shaking his head at your teasing smile.

"go ahead." he shrugged. his eyes haven't left you since you entered the great hall. it was not making your job easier, but you weren't gonna let that pretty face of his stop you from doing what you came to do.

"wanna be my boyfriend?" you smiled stupidly and it was followed by hollering and wooing from all of the students at the table, including his friends, and your own from behind you, "okay, now sn–" barty was shut up by evan's hand clamping over his mouth before he could finish that. pandora was violently blowing her nose into a tissue already. regulus seemed unphased, even though he wasn't. and dorcas looked like she finally discovered the true meaning of inner peace.

james did a double-take, and then grinned like an absolute idiot. you were furiously tapping your foot against the tiles, but froze when he cupped your cheek with his hand.

"can i kiss you?" you nodded, biting your lip to hold back the squeal that was threatening to escape. james was glowing. he grinned, launching himself forward. his lips finally met yours. your hand instinctively found its way to the back of his neck, pushing him further against you. his lips were so soft, and he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world. you could feel each other smiling into the kiss, and you broke apart giggling like two fools.

"is that a yes?" you quiered, just in case.

"oh god, yes." then he kissed you again, only to be pulled back by sirius who had just about enough of the pair of you, "some of us are trying to eat, thank you very much."

"sod off." james smacked the back of his head. he could not care less about what anybody else thought at that moment. sirius shook his head as he exchanged a knowing glance with his own lover, and neither of the boys could be bothered to hide their smiles.

"i wanted to do that for six years." james leaned his forehead against yours. you quickly pecked his lips again. "don't worry, i'll make it up to you."

Hi there 👋,

My name is Mohammad, a father of three young children living in Gaza. We are facing unimaginable hardships due to the ongoing catastrophic war, and our home is no longer safe. I’ve started a fundraising to raise $40,000 to move my family to a safer place where my children can have a chance at a better future. 💔🍉

If you could spare a moment to read our story and consider donating or even sharing, it would mean the world to us. Every bit of support brings us closer to safety and hope. 🙏

Thank you for your kindness and compassion. ❤

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

I know that this isn’t my usual thing to post, but every single bit of attention this post gets matters!! The one-sided war going on in Palestine the past 3/4 of a century has affected the live of everyone in Gaza. There’s a famine, scarcity of available resources. Those who have been massacred, and killed by the IDF have mostly been women and children. I’ve seen news about a new father being delivered the birth certificates of his twin children, and the death certificates of his twin children, wife, and mother-in-law on the same day; in the span of a few minutes.

This has always been a very serious issue, and with this post I hope that you take the time and consideration to read and share, and donate to Mohammad and his family—but not just them, but to many others as well who are suffering the same fate. These are innocent people dying at the hands of the IDF. An ethnic cleansing is happening right now, a genocide. If you watched Katniss Everdeen fight and rage war against her own government, why are you turning a blind eye to it now?

Please, please, please help Mohammad! Although I cannot donate to him, I will help share his story. 🙏🙏

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Mohammed's Family From Gaza Rebuild Their Lives, organized by Mohammed Abu Swierh

My name is Mohammad Salem Abu Swierh, a husband and father of… Mohammed Abu Swierh needs your support for Help Mohammed's Family From Gaza R

Oh to have a 🔫 and 💥💥 myself. Lovely ☺️

Maybe in Another Universe, You're Still the Man I Love: Viktor x Reader

Summary: You get sent to the same alternate timeline with Ekko and Heimerdinger, and you find out just how wonderful your life could've been.

Words: 2.1k

Author's Notes: Yeah so that finale sent me into deep grief and writing is the only way I can heal I fear. I hope you enjoy this interpretation of what Viktor could be doing in the alternate timeline.

“Are you alright, darling?”

Your vision comes into focus, though your head is still pounding. You’re extremely nauseous, feeling like your body is not your own as you become aware of the all-too-familiar voice that just spoke to you.

You’re sitting on a desk in an Academy classroom, journals and various papers surrounding you. The sun is shining through the windows, cascading gold onto the other desks and tables. It’s a peaceful, simple sight. Something that feels so wrong for precisely that reason.

“I don’t have another class for a while, you can talk to me,” Viktor says, brushing his fingers against your face. “Care to tell me why you’re looking at me like that?”

You suppose you look like you’ve seen a ghost, which isn’t so far from the truth. You must be dreaming—maybe hallucinating—anything to explain how this isn’t real.

“I…” you start, failing to find the words to say.

-

You storm into the lab, locking your eyes on the empty hexcore cocoon, then at Jayce.

“Where the fuck is he?”

“I don’t know!” Jayce fires back at you, clearly just as distraught as you are. “He woke up and told me he needed to leave me and this place. I have no idea where he went!”

“Why didn’t you follow him?” you scream, your mind spinning. Who knows how the hexcore changed him, he could literally be anywhere.

“He didn’t want me to! What don’t you understand?” Jayce slumps back into his chair, his face in his hands. As soon as he notices a tear fall down your cheek, his tone softens. “Look, I...we both know he’s been different since he started messing with the hexcore. He had told me to destroy it...but I couldn’t. And now he’s even more different. I’m so sorry,”

“Jayce…” you walk towards him. “I’m not blaming you for anything that’s happened. He’s been pushing both of us away for a long time. I guess...I just thought maybe when he woke up he’d love me again like he used to. Did he even ask about me?”

Jayce shakes his head, and your heart sinks even further.

-

“I think I’m dreaming,” you finally say, and Viktor tilts his head. “This...this isn’t real. We’re not like this, we haven’t been like this in a long time. You’re not...what are you here, a professor?”

He cups your face and kisses your forehead, “Darling, I don’t think you’ve been getting enough sleep, you’re talking nonsense,”

“No, no, no,” you jump off the desk and pace around the room. “If this isn’t a dream, then where am I? Some sort of other reality?”

“You mean to say you believe...this is not your world?” Viktor takes in your words intently.

“Well in my world, you fell out of love with me in favor of your work, and then you nearly died and got severely mutated by the hexcore. So yeah, I’d say things are pretty different,”

He raises an eyebrow, “Hex...core?”

“You don’t have that here?”

“Seemingly not,”

You sigh, perching yourself back on the desk, “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“No, I...I have theorized the possibility of alternate universes before, but I never thought I would come face to face with it in my lifetime,” he starts writing on the wall chalkboard. “I see no reason not to believe you. After all, my wife of this universe would probably not be saying these things,”

“We’re married?”

“Of course. Now tell me, what else is different in your universe?”

-

You’ve tried to find him everywhere—going all the secret places the two of you would go in the past, and asking people if they’ve seen him both topside and bottom. There’s no signs, not even a clue. He doesn’t want to be found.

You make your way back to Jayce’s lab, surprised to see Heimerdinger and a young man you don’t recognize with him. They fill you in on their concern about wild runes showing up around the city, and their plan to check on the hexgates. You’re desperate for anything to get your mind off Viktor, so you go along with them.

You’ve never been to the source of the hexgates before, and it’s even more grand than you imagined. One thing could go wrong and the entire thing would explode, but it’s precisely the potential of destruction that makes it all the more fascinating.

That is, until it becomes entirely unpredictable.

Your surroundings change at the blink of an eye—warped visuals and sounds you can’t make out. You scream for the others, but no one can hear.

-

You do your best to describe all the important events and details of your timeline, while Viktor takes notes on the chalkboard and compares what you say to his timeline. He seems particularly interested in his inventions in your timeline, and his partnership with Jayce—who’s no longer alive in his timeline.

“He died in an explosion here at the academy several years ago, it was a tragic accident that also killed a young girl from the undercity. He was a friend and a brilliant mind,” he pauses. “We...actually named our son after him.”

Your eyes widen, overwhelmed by this possibility of what could’ve been, “We have a son?”

“We do. And he’s perfect,” Viktor smiles softly. “You really are from a different time, aren’t you?”

You nod, trying to hold back tears. Why does this reality’s version of you get to be happy? Why does this Viktor get to dodge corruption and the hands of hubris?

Viktor gazes once again on the chalkboard notes, looking for patterns and causes for the differences in your timelines. Would he have reached the same fate if Jayce was still alive? What caused the Undercity to heal and thrive in his timeline but not in yours? Was this hextech you speak of really so destructive?

You are the same person he fell in love with, there’s no doubt in his mind about that, but you’ve been significantly more hurt than the Y/N he knows.

He steps close to you again, wiping the tears from your face and pulling you into him, “I’m so sorry your version of me has taken a different path.”

You sob into his chest, gripping his clothes. He runs his fingers through your hair and rubs your back, soothing you as if you’re his own.

But you’re not his. This isn’t your life.

You pull away, taking a deep breath, “As much as I want to stay here, I can’t keep taking over the consciousness of the me in this world. I need to find the others,”

“I don’t know if it’s possible for you to get back,” he says. “You say you got here through hextech, and that was never invented here.”

“We’ll find a way,” you run to the window, looking out to get a gauge of where you are. Heimerdinger might have landed somewhere here in the Academy too, and Ekko probably went back to the Undercity. But Jayce—if he’s dead in this universe—where would he be?

“Before you go,” Viktor places a hand on your shoulder. “Would you like to meet our son?”

Anxiety washes over you, your body going numb from the prospect. Would it only hurt you more to see a life that you could’ve created?

“Don’t you have more classes to teach, professor?” you smile, trying to turn your nervousness into something lighthearted.

“I’ll cancel for today. It’s about the time you usually pick him up from school anyway,”

He grabs his cane with one hand and takes your hand with the other, posting a quick note on his door as you leave.

-

You sit on a bench outside the elementary school, your heart pounding. This child is going to run out that building any minute, eager to see the mother he’s always known.

But you’re not her. You didn’t carry him, birth him, or raise him. You don’t have the same memories and experiences.

But you must pretend that you do.

You know which one he is immediately. He’s a perfect combination of yours and Viktor’s features, just like you’d imagined. His smile is contagious, and he wastes no time jumping into your arms.

“Look what I made at school today, Mommy!” he puts a crafty contraption in front of your face, a colorful collection of sticks and paper glued together.

“That’s so creative, honey, I love it,” but your attention is solely focused on him, his sweet face glowing with pride and joy.

“Quite the little inventor, aren’t you?” Viktor applauds him. “What else did you learn today?”

“We did reading and spelling. I can spell family now. F-A-M-I-L-E!”

“Close, sweetheart. There’s a ‘Y’ at the end,” you laugh,

“Are you sure about that?” he says, wincing his adorable face in thought. “Whatever. I learned how to spell brother and sister too, but I don’t have any of those. How do I get one of those?”

Viktor chuckles, “I’ll talk about it with your Mommy, how about that?”

“Okay!” he jumps up and starts walking home with the two of you.

-

What if I stayed? You wonder.

You’re playing with your son on the living room floor, with toys mostly made by Viktor himself. The house is small but cozy, a home you wish was really yours. What if you just stay in this dream reality forever?

What if you never find the others? What if there really is no way to get back?

But no, that wouldn’t be fair to the you of this reality. She’s the one who has this life, not you. Besides, Viktor and his son deserve their wife and mother back.

You hear a knock on the door, and Viktor goes to open it.

“Oh, Viktor, it is so good to see you.”

Your head swivels instantly towards the yordle in the entryway, “Heimerdinger! You found me!” you join Viktor at the door, “Where’s Ekko and Jayce?”

“I have not found Jayce as of yet, but I did find Ekko and sent him back to his timeline about a week ago. We found some hextech fragments and were able to use them to jump through time and space.”

“So...I can get home too?”

“As soon as you’re ready. We built the machine in a young girl’s lab in the Undercity,” he looks between you, then Viktor, and finally your son. His attitude of urgency dissipates as he begins to understand. “But...I could not blame you if you want to stay longer.”

Your son Jayce comes running to join you, grabbing onto your leg, “Who’s this guy, Mommy?”

“This is Professor Heimerdinger, he used to work at the Academy,” you pat his head, “Your dad used to be his assistant.”

“I’m sure you already have a brilliant mind, my boy,” Heimerdinger says. “Your parents must be proud.”

Little Jayce giggles.

“Actually, I would very much like to see this new invention you’ve built, Professor,” Viktor speaks up. “I’m now quite intrigued by the prospect of other universes.”

“I have no rule against you observing, Viktor, but I’m sure you understand I must destroy it after we all get back. It is too dangerous to be left here unsupervised,” Heimerdinger’s tone becomes more serious. “I’m sure Y/N has told you of the destruction hextech caused in our universe, especially to you.”

“Of course, Professor. I understand.”

-

You’ve never seen the Undercity look this beautiful.

It seems that the other version of you comes here often, so many people wave to you and little Jayce automatically runs off with some kids his age to play.

You meet a blue-haired young lady named Powder, who helped Heimerdinger and Ekko in their experiments. She looks so familiar to you, but you can’t place where you’ve seen her in your reality.

Heimerdinger explains how it works, and both you and Viktor listen intently. With everything up and running, you could go back this instant.

The pull to go back is strong, like an obligation to return to your rightful place in the universe. But the pull to stay is equally strong, as you gaze into your husband’s beautiful amber eyes that you want to find solace in forever.

“It’s your choice, my love,” Viktor says, as if reading your mind.

“I know I need to go back…” you exhale, tears welling in your eyes once again. “But I don’t know what I’m going back to,”

“I don’t know either,” he caresses your face, “But I do know you are strong in every universe,”

“I’m not,” you shake your head, “Not without you.”

“Don’t say that,” his thumbs smooth across your cheeks.

You nod, turning towards the device.

“Could you…could you kiss me one last time?” you ask.

Viktor wastes no time honoring your request, crashing his lips to yours with lasting passion. He pulls away only as you back into the circle, leaving you with one last affectionate whisper:

“I’m so fortunate to have met another version of you, my love.”

Oh yeah we back AND BRICKED 🧱

*rubbing my hands together like an evil fly*

FINGERS. (meljayvik x reader)

please read! if this finds the right audience, yall may recognize this fic. its because this was posted before a few weeks ago and then suddenly disappeared. i deleted my account cus i lost commitment like a mf. and then one day i came across a post with replies MOURNING the fact i deleted this fic and i kinda felt bad, so here's me reuploading it

(this is LONGER than the original 2 separate parts i posted. this fic has both parts combined in one post, including part three, which i never released, in the end of this post)

warning, this fic IS unfinished. but jayce x reader do get to fuck in the end. if im feeling silly i might just wrap it up on another post if u guys find this

tags: mel x reader, jayce x reader, viktor x reader. scissoring, riding, hate sex, blood but in a sexual way? fingering, cunnilingus, nipple play? no actual foursome with all of them, but..., scene where viktor and jayce watch u make out w mel, jealousy, miscommunication that gets fixed, jayce is an asshole, reader feeds into it, not a lot of mentions of y/n, reader is AFAB, doggy, praise and degredation (idk if this is js me but i LOVE when mfs are mean as hell!!! so the sex scene between jayce n reader may not be 4 everyone)

18k words

-

Enchanting, you were. The youngest female councilor in PIltover. A sight for sore fucking eyes, and Mel Medardas closest friend.

Alone, everyone was calculating your every move, every huff of a breath or flimsy strand of hair. All eyes were on you. How could it not? You were enthralling, completely and utterly captivating. But with Mel, it was as if you two had the world in a sweet hypnosis. A brainwash anyone would sell their soul for.

At any event Mel attended, the rest automatically knew you would be there too. The idea of you came in a pair. Everyone had gotten used to the idea of Mel and Y/N, getting something from one, and expecting something from the other. 

With a long day of discussing material trade with leaders of other regions, your mind had felt heavy in your skull. Talking politics consistently everyday the moment the clock ticks dawn, it only mentally tires you little by little, day by day. Today had been particularly annoying, speaking with the leaders of Noxus, and of course, the one and only Ambessa Medarda.

With her constant demand and pushiness for the native tools of Piltover's sea-gates, the conversation, soon turned into an argument, had lasted a while. Yet, it seemed Ambessa had always had a soft spot for you over her own daughter, which felt unfair and bothersome. You had discussed your feelings about it to Mel, to which she responded with an elegant, unbothered shrug. 

"With a face like yours, I would too."  She grinned, tightening the band around her hair as she yawned. 

You sat up from your spot on her bed. "I'm not sure M. You're her daughter. I'm not. It feels unfair, truly horrible." You tucked a strand of your own hair behind your ear as the blanket slipped off you, revealing a buttoned pajama shirt.

It wasn't uncommon to sleep over in your best friend's room, rotating between each other's rooms and talking until it was required for you both to sleep, considering every tomorrow has something important ready for the two of you.

Mel sighs, turning from the mirror to you. "I'm her daughter, like you said. She expects the most from me, while you're not. So she's never really disappointed with you, since her standards were never grounded for you. Unlike me, Y/N/N. So don't get yourself worked up for it."

Your shoes click against the floors, announcing your presence to the beautifully empty hallways. Surprise surprise, you were on your way to see Mel. 

The meeting had ended and you were held behind by Salo as you watched her leave the meeting, wishing you had left with her. If there was anyone who could understand your irritation and dreadfulness of the day, it would be her.

Turning a corner, you recount the steps to her room you've memorized a thousand times before, hearing unusual faint chatter coming from her bedroom. Getting closer, you see her room slightly open as her mothers voice blends to your hearing. Stopping your approach to her room, you're far enough to see and hear them, but not enough for them to say the same about you.

"You're distracted, girl." Ambessa grabbed her chin and made her lookup as Mel shoved herself out of her grasp, her scowl undeniable.

"Mother," Mel voiced every syllable in the word, her accent present. "Do I look distracted?" She stared her mother down (or rather up, considering their height difference), and you swallowed. Her gaze seemed a blend of anger, hatred, yet somehow mixed with just as much respect for her mother. You couldn't understand it, truly.

"You are sloppy and confused. Yes, child, you are distracted." Ambessa grumbles, taking a step closer to her and making her seem smaller, inferior as she doesn't bother breaking eye contact with her only daughter. 

That statement puzzled you. Mel is possibly the most organized person you have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Feeling as if you're overstepping a boundary, you twist your heel and begin walking the opposite direction, a feeling of small disappointment churning in your stomach, for you were hoping to talk with her as you stretched your limbs across her soft bed and undid your hair.

Her mother, to you, and possibly even her, will always be a case left open. A case no one can solve, or even bother working on. You suppose you have no choice but to enter your own private corridors, but you didn't want to. You wanted someone to complain to, someone who could understand your impatience with the day.

Besides Mel, no one came to your mind but one. Viktor.

-

"And Salo? Gods, Salo couldn't stop speaking. He just wouldn't shut up, Viktor." You sighed, holding both your shoes by the strings with one hand while the other ran through your scalp, messaging your temple as you did so.

You're pretty sure a few zaps of light and fire just bounced from the corner of your eye, but you couldn't care. You were seated at a neglected workbench with a few nuts and bolts scattered across its flat surface and a stool with a chair made to numb your ass if sat on for too long.

"I thank the gods," Viktor says before pausing, lowering a relatively loud machine down to the scraps of metal, which only had millions of zaps left flying everywhere, his goggles flickering to the light as Jayce stood a few feet away from him, watching his work. "that I wasn't put in a notoriously boring political meeting everyday." He finishes after placing the tool onto the table, taking off his thick gloves.

Jayce gives him a look of mild annoyance, but mostly confusion. "Aren't you going to finish that—"

"You finish it, Jayce." Viktor interrupts as he grasps tightly onto his crutch, making his way to you. "I'm exhausted enough just listening to Y/N's day." He says and you grin at him, catching his honey eyes with yours.

Unlike Mel, who is very keen to keep any relationship in the Academy strictly professional, you had a better time befriending them. But, after a night of too much wine with Mel, she let slip that she had been getting up close and personal with Jayce. Your lips have been sealed shut since, but she made it beyond clear that nothing serious is going on between them.

"Oh, you haven't even heard the half of it, Vik." You say, and he gives you a look. The beauty spot above his lips curve to the expression of his grimace. His thickly arched eyebrows furrow, a bothered look on his face that didn't reach the smile playing on his lips.

"I bet you," He sits himself down in the chair across from yours on the workbench, "that the "half of it" will be a longer rant on Salo."

You don't confirm nor deny, "He just won't get the hint, Viktor." You grumble, reaching down to massage your ankle as you rambled on about your own council, and Noxus's stubborn behavior.

Viktor didn't mind at all. You gave him a break from whatever he's been focusing on, to temporarily indulge into whatever you have been. You had a way of story telling that he was just a fan of, constantly mentioning that if you weren't a politician, you'd be a phenomenal storyteller, or even writer. You never took him seriously, brushing off the comment with a flattered smile.

While Jayce, let out a scoff neither of you heard. His expression was full of irritation as neither of you bothered to notice. He picked up the machine and blocked your voice out of his mind as he began slicing down the slabs of metal, a slight tinge of satisfaction when the screeching noise of the machine would interrupt you.

You never thought much of Jayce. While he thought of you a lot more than you'd expect. But not for the reasons of flattery, more of envy. When he'd think of you, he'd be annoyed. He didn't get why everyone was so fond of you other than your looks. Jayce was aware of your beauty, appreciating it at times when he'd forget how much you'd annoy him. But what he didn't get was why everyone preferred you over him.

He was a better scientist, he'd say. He was now somewhat in the political circle, too, with the announcement of his Hextech invention. Though you've been around longer than him, and still younger than him, he didn't get anything that had to do with you that didn't relate to your beauty.

It had got to a point that Jayce felt like Viktor preferred you over him.

Mel, he could understand. Sure, you two are childhood best friends, whatever. Though it hurt a little bit, he didn't mind. But Viktor? His partner, who so blatantly left their work together to go chat to you about your day?

It had become a routine. 3 times a week, Jayce had memorized, when you couldn't find Mel, you'd find Viktor. You'd pull Viktor away from their work together, Jayce was left being the only one working on it as he was forced to listen about your day yet again.

Jayce looks over at the two of you from his section of the lab, putting the goggles over his head as he watches your face scrunch up to the weight of the story you're telling, your hands flailing in the air as you describe a particularly crazy part of the story you're telling. He darts his eyes to Viktor, who was watching you with intent, his eyes practically gleaming at you as he listened to you.

Gods, he loathed you.

Putting his goggles back over his eyes and rolling his sleeves up, he turned the machine back on as it cut you off once more. A slight smile on his lips as you were quiet, waiting patiently for him to finish so you could continue.

-

Eventually, thankfully, as Jayce would say, you had to go. And Viktor watched you leave with a small smile, replaying your conversation with him that he didn't participate much in besides small comments and facial expressions.

Jayce turned to Viktor, who's been awake for far too long to be considered healthy, his eyebags sunken on his face as he gets up from the chair, spreading his shoulders from his posture and leaning on his crutch as he stands straight. "You planning on helping me out in the lab anytime soon, Viktor?" Jayce asked bitterly as he shoved off the goggles that were resting on his forehead.

Viktor only lets out a sigh, fixing the cuffs around his wrists as he catches Jayce's eyes with his killer ones. "I won't hold your annoyance against you, Jayce. It is only natural when someone you envy ruins your mood. I am heading off to bed, and I assume you will continue your engineering in the forge." He says patiently as he takes a step toward the exit before shooting one last look targeted at Jayce.

"Which is something you had the will to choose instead of staying and listening to our conversation." He spoke lightly, but the point whipping through fast. Jayce furrows his eyebrows. "Listening to what? I spent the entire time doing the work you were supposed to finish." He argued, leaning back onto a heavy table.

"A scientist often times referred to Progress, should have the brain to consider that a man with a cane shouldn't be the one working on the heavy metal and machinery. Jayce, consider the fact that I am not the one you are truly mad at."

With that, Viktor left him alone in the laboratory with a temper that is only rising.

He's right. Jayce thought. It's fucking her.

- 

Viktor had made it to his room a far long while ago. He was twisting and turning but his brain wouldn't shut off, no matter how tired he was.

He had no choice but to stare at the dark ceiling in complete darkness, letting his imagination run wild as he stayed patient for slumber. Every time he'd attempt to solve an equation for the current Hexproject he's working on with Jayce, your face wouldn't suddenly appear in the middle of it all.

He wasn't able to get your expressions out of his mind, you spoke with such passion that he couldn't help but feel that you should be the one presenting speeches, not Heimerdinger. You told a bright vivid story with such little material, he found himself hoping that when Jayce and him were done with their current project, you would be the one to announce it. Not Jayce, not Heimerdinger, and definitely not him.

He turned to his good side, thinking about how next time you come complaining to him, he'll interfere. He'll blabber and chatter with you for once, see what you think of his storytelling. Viktor was fairly quiet and introverted, a trait you adored in him, it made him a great listener, and yet he still felt the need to impress you, which felt foolish.

Viktor felt foolish for having a little baby crush on you. Especially since he was quite sure you were too occupied with Mel to even think of him.

Mel.

How he was sour when it came to Mel Medarda. She's got both you and Jayce wrapped around her little golden-painted fingers. He was no match against her, and he knew it. When you two are in a room together, it's as if you're both glowing. He couldn't compare to Mel's rich melanin body, accented with gold and a radiating energy to her, when he was pale and sickly. Not to mention your body.

Cripple scientist from the Undercity, with eyes on a girl who would never stop for a second to think of him.

He wished he hadn't fallen asleep to that thought.

-

Soft fingers threaded featherily over your cheekbones, sliding down to your jaw before tracing down your neck. The sensation tickled you, blinking your eyes open to see Mel, calculating your face accordingly, with a look of adoration playing on her usually-inexpressive features.

She was laying on your bed, her hair undone and her nightgown wrinkled. You don't remember her coming in last night, but you were more than happy to have her in your bedroom so early on.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" She mutters, her warm breath fanning your face. You lashes flutter, adjusting yourself as you only slightly sit up, her fingers still softly lining your skin.

"I don't mind." You smile, which Mel visibly melts at, creating a little smile playing on her features too. "You okay?" You wonder, remembering the little instance of seeing her alone with her mother. Her smile slightly falters,

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Her voice is softly low, but you can see the hesitation behind it. You've known her far too long to be obliviously dumb.

You brush her undone hair behind her ear. "I saw you with your mom yesterday." You admit, seeing no purpose in lying about not seeing them.

She sighs, looking at you with her viridian eyes. "Yeah, my mother pointed out how she saw your shadow." Mel huffs, "Snarky, she is." She adds with a tinge of annoyance, probably recalling the conversation she's had with her.

You're glad you told the truth, since there would be no reason for you to have lied when Mel already knew. "How so? M, what did you two talk about?" You ask, studying her face as you share breaths, voices low considering how early it is.

"Just her disappointment in me, again." She says, closing her eyes as she lays her head on your shoulders. You can tell how much her mother stresses her, even when she isn't present in the room. You lean into her, you head over hers as you touch her arm, feeling the softness of her skin. It was impossible for the two of you to keep your hands to yourselves when you're together.

"She said—" Mel interrupts herself when she realizes how fast she spoke those two words, taking a deep breath. "She says you're distracting me."

Your movement on her arm goes still. That wasn't what you were expecting. You weren't fully expecting to be the topic of discussion when you found them together.

"I don't think so." You say lightly. "We've been with each other since we were still losing baby teeth. She should know we're only better when we're together." You go back to tracing her skin.

She hums, swiftly switching the topic of conversation as she would during a council meeting. "It's still early. I didn't find you when I was done with my mother. What were you up to?"

Your lips quirk upwards at the memory of last night, recalling Viktor making small remarks about his hatred for the council.

"Minus you, Y/N. You're tolerable. Very tolerable. Unlike…"

You cut him off, aware of the mutual dislike between Viktor and Mel. He mentally thanked you, he didn't want to talk about her when he's with you.

"Wait, wait." Mel lifts her head to look at you, stopping you before you could answer. "Were you in the lab? Again?"

You nod, your smile undeniable. Mel doesn't answer, she just looks at you. "You should know this by now, M. When I can't find you, I find Viktor. It's—it's my routine." You decide, considering that it is indeed a routine.

"Okay." She just said, and you frown, sitting fully up now.

"Look, M, I get you don't like Viktor for gods-know what reason, but I do. He's great to talk to." You sheepishly admit, fixing your shirt's hem-neckline more upward for decency not to show anything it's not meant to. Mel's eyes immediately dart there before back up to your face. You two are silent, and she visibly comes to a mental conclusion. You wished you could read her mind.

Laying on her stomach, she lifts her palm to her chin, her elbow holding her up. "He's cute.' She says after quiet seconds pass, almost like it hurts, but in an attempt to relate. "Do you like him?" 

You didn't answer immediately, processing her question. Thinking of his face, his demeanor, his hands. You loved his mind, his understanding, and how he's so much like you but how much he isn't. You liked him, and you'd be lying to not only Mel, but to yourself if you said you didn't.

"You do." She answered for you when you took too long. Mel saw the way your eyes had gone out of focus to ponder her question, your skin flushing as you thought about whatever you had been thinking about.

You nod. You go nonverbal when you're nervous, a habit Mel had gotten used to and definitely didn't go unnoticed now.

She pushed herself off your bed and stretched, not saying anything regarding the fact. "Long day ahead of us, love. I'll get ready here, is that all right?" She says, like your confession was nothing but a small gust of wind, like you hadn't said a word. You nod again, watching her strip out of her nightgown before you had even told her she could.

Getting up to do the same, you both change. Mel hummed like there wasn't a single thing on her mind.

She kept a spare change of clothes in your room from when she stayed over, and vice versa in her room. It was just easier that way.

Rummaging through your own wardrobe, you grab a few items of clothing that you loved on yourself, and so did Mel. She loved everything on you. Hooking your fingers around the bottom of your nightgown and slipping it off, you feel Mel's eyes brush past your figure, her eyes slipping down your legs and your hips, lingering on your chest and the slope of your waist before it was covered.

She goes back to paying attention to her own looks, her mind feeling like mush as she attempts to gather her thoughts.

You swallowed, watching her now that she looked away.

-

Mel kissed his lips, coating him glossy as she kissed her way down his chin, jaw, neck. Her hands cupped the side of Jayce's face as she devoured him. Their chests pressed up against each other as wild breathing and groaning could be heard throughout the empty room.

The grip he had on her naked hips tightened as she pressed  herself down on him, the moment her lips left his skin he caught it back with his mouth, the two slowly kissing the other. He sucked on her lower lip as she licked his, tongues grazed the others as Jayce moaned into her when she took all of him.

Her walls clenched around him as he rutted against her, her whimpering having him lose his mind as he slipped his hands down and gripped her ass. "Takin' me s'good," He grunted. She dipped her head to his shoulder in response, her forehead touching it as she lifted herself up and down against him, shaky breaths that turned into moans leaving her lips.

"Oh gods, Mel." Jayce moans, lifting a hand to cup her breasts and knead them, grazing a thumb over her nipple as she takes him in over and over again, coating him with her liquids.  "Mmm, cah—call me M." She mutters against him, kissing his shoulder before lifting her lips back to his.

Jayce, not thinking straight, moans into her mouth when she clenches around him, taking him faster as he thrusts into her harder. "M."

"Again," She pleads, yelping when she hits a particular spot that shoots with an overwhelming amount of pleasure, chasing that high as she grinds on him harder. "M," He sputtered, their tongues messily dancing against the others, "Feels s'good, M." He praises, gripping her harder, chasing his own orgasm after her and she finally breaks, reaching her peak as she finishes with a loud whimper, releasing and coating him with warmth that drips down his cock when he follows only shortly after.

It wasn't until she was knocked out beside him when Jayce realized he's never called her 'M' in his life, and that there was only one other person who did.

You.

-

After arrangements with the council and a discussion of plans, Mel and Jayce had stalked off together. You had your suspicions on what they were doing, and it seemed Viktor did too. That alone kept the two of you happily occupied.

Something was in the air today, though. After admitting your feelings to Mel only a few minutes prior, and being fully aware of them, you couldn't help but feel different around Viktor. You felt more drawn to him, yet more nervous. Scared, almost. You didn't realize how many doors coming to terms with your feelings had opened. Everything he did left a swift mark on your chest.

Like the way he was tinkering with the trinket in hand, adjusting and readjusting the screws with his lengthy, scrawny fingers as he listened to you talk. 

"I don't think it's a secret anymore." He responds, you watch his mouth and the way his accent rolled off his tongue. "I'm pretty sure all of Piltover's finest know, at this rate." Viktor says, lifting his eyes from the trinket back up to you, catching the way they were searching his lips. You blink away, which was partially hard considering his hunter-gaze, that makes it a challenge.

"They aren't quite slick with it, I'm afraid." You say, lowering your gaze to the knick-knack he's holding instead, which only just has you shift to his hands again. "I wonder what she sees in him. I've had a total of 5 conversations with him, and I'm under the impression that he wants me dead. I'm sure he has a kind heart though."

This makes Viktor chuckle, you feel a sense of accomplishment at the sound, finding a hidden dimple on the side of his cheek. "Jayce has never been able to hide his feelings well. Spending a few years as his partner proves that."

"So he doesn't like me." You coo at the confirmation. He shrugs, "Well, I do. I like you enough to make up for Jayce's dislike. Immature boy." Viktor clicks his tongue, tsking. Your ribcage screws around your heart tighter, perking up slightly.

"I guess I could say the same about you, regarding Mel." You say, picking the side of your nails as you avoided his gaze. You didn't know why you were acting like this. Like a teenager. All you could say was that you haven't been laid in ages. That was your only poor defense.

It's quiet, you could feel him looking at you before the sound of small metal clanking hits the desk. You look up to see the small robotic trinket moving around the table, waddling on what seems to be its legs before turning to you. You watch in awe as the robot shifts inside its copper, its metal moving to the side as it slowly transforms into a mechanical marionette, shaped like a miniature version of you.

You held her, studying it as you see he's gotten the smaller details of your features also correct. You look up to see Viktors Adam's apple bobbing in anticipation and nervousness, scanning your face to see just what you think of it.

You felt unbelieving. You couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that he spent time and effort on you.

"What do you think of it?" He asks, his accent thicker than usual. You've never seen him this nervous, his finger anxiously tapping against the table's flat surface. He was met with silence. Slowly, he watches you place the marionette down and stand up. His heart plummets, feeling like he's crossed the line of a professional relationship. Sure you were getting up to leave, he looked down at his lap, mentally cursing himself over and over, clutching his cane hard.

Confusion rang through him when soft, delicate hands palmed the side of his chiseled jaw and lifted his head to yours, pulling him in a kiss. A sweet kiss where he couldn't fight the urge to kiss you back. You left his lips pink and plump, swiping your tongue over your teeth, savoring every bit of it. A kiss that had the two of you thinking about it all night.

One where you couldn't help but tell Mel.

You and Viktor had to split, though neither of you wanted to. Your heart pumped hard against your chest, leaving him with one last look exchanged between the two of you, you hoped to see him again very, very soon. With him gone and you practically skipping through the hallways to find Mel, you turned a corner where you ran into a foreign chest. A really tall one at that.

There really was only one person like that in the building, being none other than Jayce Talis. "My apologies." You tell him, taking a few steps back as you try to walk around him, to which he quickly grabs your arm before you do so. His large hands wrap around the whole arm, and he uses his strength to push you back to him. You can tell he was trying to deal with you softly, but it seems the two of you have very different definitions of the word.

He smelt of sweat with a sharp bite of hot metal clung to him. His aroma is what got your attention first, before even processing it was him. Bitter traces of chemicals tangled with his scent, underneath it all was the scent of sprayed cologne that had worn out through-out the day, and a soft hint of leather. Blinking up at Jayce,  and attempting to snatch your wrist back with complete failure, you notice a faint trace of vanilla that lingered like an afterthought.

You furrow your eyebrows at him. "Sorry." He sighs, and you want to think he is, but something in his expression told you he isn't sorry for a single thing. You try and push your arm out of his grasp, but he only clutches harder.

"Just," He lets out a breath of impatience, perhaps. Something like that. "Just let me talk to you for a moment."

You recall back to when Viktor blatantly confirmed that Jayce didn't like a mere thing about you. You dart your eyes from his hazel ones down to the hand holding on to. "You make it very hard for me to want to do that with you right now." You say bluntly, he drops your arms from his grasp the moment you utter the sentence.

"Sorry." He repeated again, gritting only slightly as you catch sight of his canine teeth. You just blink at him, a look of mild annoyance as you run a hand over the part of your arm he previously held hardly on to.

"Excuse me." You say patiently as you attempt to excuse yourself and walk around him again, but considering his height and his fairly long legs, he manages to block you from your way again. "I just said I needed to speak with you." He touted, his eyes fluttering shut as his chest rose and fell, clearly trying to contain his temper.

You didn't know who this man was. Jayce was typically the carefree, kind scientist. The golden boy adored by the private and the public. You were never personal with him, but considering your workplace is in the same place as his, and the stories Mel would tell you, he seemed almost naïve. He seemed constantly looking for assurance and praise. He was supposed to be the boy without a temper, so seeing him like this was bizarre.

"I'm sorry, Jayce Talis, but I currently don't wish to speak with you." You tonelessly tell him, speaking oddly formal, signifying your bother with him. He stared down at you with a scowl, an upset yet irritated look playing his features. "But," You start, "I do wish for you to inform me where councilor Medarda is."

That seemed like a bad choice of words. He lifts a hand to lay on your shoulder, which doesn't even fully fit there. It almost seems like a comforting gesture. That was until both his hands were now clutching your shoulders, his grip tightening as he face came close to yours. "What do you want?" His voice low and gravelly, not wavering his eyes from yours.

"From you? Nothing, dear boy." You answer just as quietly, unblinking.

"From them." He hisses. It takes you a second to understand who he was talking about.

"Mel and Viktor?" You mutter, your grin slowly growing. Jayce watches your mouth curve, humoring yourself at him. His chest burned, but he decided to stay quiet, waiting for an explanation. 

"How pathetic." You purred, your tone sharp.

You shove yourself away from his grasp but stayed exactly where he held you. You can see the scandalized detestation on his face, lifting a palm to hold the side of his cheek, studying every part of his face. Much shorter than him, your intense gaze made him feel small, inferior. His jaw clenched, a muscle pushing against your hand. He felt like you could see right through him.

You gazed back to his eyes, deciding you studied him enough. "That is no way to treat a councilor, Talis." You tsk, seeing his eyes flash with a hint of shame, humiliation. "Especially one that holds the power of banishing you from stepping a foot on these grounds again." You brush a soft thumbpad over the peak of his cheekbone. You spoke lovingly, regarding the fact you gave him a very clear threat, one he can't miss.

"You can't." He dares, challenging you as you gave him a look of pity.

"Oh," You pout. Maybe he really was that naïve. "Dear boy, I can."

You tap his cheek with your palm before lifting the skirt of your dress and stalking off, leaving him flustered, angry, and an obvious dent in his pants you didn't notice.

PART 2

He tasted of black coffee, his tongue coated yours as you whimpered into his mouth. Viktor's teeth dug on your upper lip as you sucked on his lower one, his large hands roaming down your body as your back arched, your chest brushing over his, your legs forming a 'W' over him as he sat under you. 

Viktor slipped his large, cold hands under your cloth, feeling you bare as his hands slid softly over the curves of your waist and the spine of your back, feeling you whole as he breathed your scent in. His palms dip to touch the hump of your tits before gripping it. You shakily breathe into his mouth, your jaw slacked temporarily open as he toyed with your chest, thumb grazing over your nipple before pinching it. He took it as an opportunity to lick the the roof of your mouth messily with his tongue, making you kiss him back again.

You hadn't noticed yourself begin rocking back and forth on his bulge over his pants, riding his trouser-covered lap as you pleaded for any kind of friction to pleasure your dripping pussy. He tugs on your clothes with his free hand that isn't under your shirt, humming in annoyance into your mouth before pulling away, a thick string of saliva keeping you both connected.

"Need," He cuts himself off with a small groan at the feel of you rapidly pressing down on him, looking up at him with such pouty, pleading eyes. "Need this off." He tugs on your clothes again.

You shuffle the dress from under your legs and over your ass, Viktor's hands immediately go to grip them hard, leaving a print on your cheeks as you shove the dress from over your body, throwing it to the side of your bedroom floor. "Good girl." He praises, leaning in to kiss you again. While you were ready to eat him alive, he caught you off guard with a wet, short peck on your lips.

He kisses your cheek, down to your jaw, and down your neck. His mouth hovers above your collarbone, his hot breath providing you comfort as your eyes are shut, back arched and waiting for his touch. His grip on your ass held harder, palming your ass wider as he mildly spread them open as he licked your collarbone, sucking a love bite on your skin.

"Viktor." Your voice cracked as his mouth dipped to your breasts. He starts his tongue from the bottom of your breast, sliding it upward as it leaves a trail of spit behind. His tongue meets your nipple and your soft whimpers turn lewd and dirty, his hips bucking upward in response. Planting a kiss on your nipple, he pulls away from you, his hands leaving your ass and softly dragging to your hips.

You open your eyes, your body hot and burning, needy for every part of him. Viktor softly pushes you back on your bed, having you slide off his lap as you laid there, holding yourself up with your elbows as you looked at him. You squeeze your thighs together at the loss of contact, to which he only pries open.

He stares at your pretty underwear. "Such a shame it's all wet and ruined." Viktor blinks up at you, forcing his amber gaze to catch yours. "Do I truly get you this needy, darling?"

You nod, pathetically, desperately. Anything to get him to touch you. "So impatient." He mutters before hooking his fingers on your underwear and shoving it down. He was clearly enjoying himself, staring up at you as he lifted his two fingers to your mouth, making you swallow them with your pretty lips.

You drag your tongue down his long fingers, coating them with saliva and spit, taking more of it as you tighten your mouth around them, having the walls of your mouth gloss his fingers properly. You look down at him, seeing him bite his bottom lip to contain himself, letting out a small whimper. You pull away from his fingers, spit slipping down them and your lips.

"Go on." You order breathlessly, he obliges. He kisses your clit, rubbing his saliva-coated fingers down your folds as he uses his hand to keep your thighs spread apart. He kisses your plush thighs, slipping a finger inside you as you whine at the suddenness.

He swallows you whole, open-mouthed kisses and long wet licks against your folds to your clit. He adds the second finger in, and you moan, shamelessly riding them as you throw your head back.

You had gone so long without a lay, relying only on your fingers as your only form of pleasure that now, with Viktor's fingers now replacing them, you realize just how sad it was. Viktors fingers hit a point in you that you definitely couldn't have reached on your own, fucking yourself on them.

He pulls his mouth back from your pussy, using his thumb to rub your clit as you cry out such pretty, incoherent noises. He looks up at you in adoration, saving the memory in his mind, considering that this might be the most beautiful you might have ever looked.

"Pretty girl, you are." He whispers, sending a shrill up your thighs. The grip on his hair tightens, and he notices an expression on your face he's never seen before. You were close. Viktor dips his head, sucking on your bead, enjoying himself far too much. Your ankles lock around his head, threading your hands farther into his hair.

"You're so good, Viktor. S'good. Mmmf."

A particular stroke of his tongue has you yelp, your hand lifting up to clasp your mouth shut. Viktor repeats the stroke faster, matching the pace of his finger, shoving themselves in and out of you.

You gasp softly, reaching your orgasm as it spills down his fingers. His fingers slow, pulling out of you as he reaches down to lick your folds clean. The grip on his hair loosens and you brush his hair softly.

"Did such a good job taking care of me." You mutter softly, watching him shift.

Viktor moves beside you, looking out for his bad leg as he lays on your bed. "You do the praising I'm meant to tell you." He says, accent heavy on his tongue.

You also move, going to hover over him, straddling his hips as he lays flat on your bed, your pillow under his neck. This place smelt entirely of you, all the way down to the scent of your shampoo on your pillows and sheets. Viktor would say he's in heaven, and a particular someone would agree with him, despite them not agreeing on anything.

You kiss him softly, tenderly. "I can't help needing to make sure you know how much of a good boy you are for me. You say, kissing the moles on his face.

He sucks in a breath, and you remember that only you've reached your orgasm, and he was still painfully hard. He lifts his fingers, still coated with your cum to your mouth. 

That stunt you pulled with your mouth on his fingers was gonna take something more powerful than memory loss to make him forget. But you grab his hands before he could do so, a smirk playing on your lips as you slowly direct them to his mouth

"Enjoy the snack while I take care of you, Viktor." You say. "Poor you," You frown, "putting all the work into making me pleased, I selfishly neglected you." You palm his bulge, and he groans at the sudden contact of your hand after being left untouched for so long.

-

"She's busy." Mel tells Jayce, organizing a folder of files as he stands at the entrance of her office.

"Busy with what? Today is a day off for the two of you." Jayce responds, his eyebrows furrowing as his plans to properly speak with you this time are flushed down the drain.

Mel looks up at him from her desk, "There's no such thing as a day off, Jayce."

He huffs. Mel has begun to see an impatient, angry side of Jayce lately. Which had been weird for not only her, but himself too. "I get you two are protective of each other, or whatever, but I need to talk to her now."

Mel takes her time answering, recalling the memory of walking in on you a Viktor fucking only a mere hour or so ago. So into each other that neither of you noticed her key turning to enter your room, or shutting behind her as a feeling of odd, negative feeling hurled her stomach.

Sure, the two of you were obviously done by now, since Jayce had just been telling Mel on seeing him only a few minutes ago, but she felt weird. Was hurt the word she'd use? No, but it's definitely how she'd felt, if we don't consider how damp the area between her thighs had gotten when she'd left.

"Why do you need to speak with her, Jayce?" Mel decides to ask instead. Jayce stood in front of her, about to hesitantly answer when Mel's office door opened.

You entered, your hair messily down with your clothes hugging your curves beautifully. Mel's eyes narrowed at you. Gods. You pulled sex hair off greatly.

"Sorry I'm late, M." You apologize, a small, almost unnoticeable limp to your steps as you sit at the chair opposite to hers, a desk separating the two of you. Jayce resists the urge to clench his fists at you blatantly ignoring him and walking past him, and very much at the nickname you use for Mel.

"Perfectly all right. I had finished the paperwork myself." Mel says with an oddly positive voice you pick up on.

"Look, I'm sorry." You repeat in a more sincere tone. "It's meant to be a day off, M. I thought we'd be able to do it by around this hour, maybe even by night." Your voice was genuine, speaking nothing but the truth. Jayce studied Mel's body language, seeing something a little off between the two of you. He was almost happy for a moment.

"Yet you have disregarded our plans to finish it much earlier than this. I have done it all myself, thank you Y/N. You may be excused." She ordered, not even looking at you. She spent her time stacking the parchment above the other, using the desks to neatly have the sides of them in line before placing them back in the folders as you stared at her.

You reach your hands to softly graze over hers. "Are you okay, Mel?"

She pulls her hand back, even if it kills her. She loved your touch the most out of anything in the world. "I am perfectly fine."

Jayce, openly ignored, and wildly forgotten about in the corner of he room, was grinning. This fucking guy, was smiling.

No one had ever seen the two of you upset with the other. To Jayce, this was like witnessing an eclipse for the first time.

"Tell me what's wrong." You insisted, refusing to let her gesture upset you, though it did, and she saw that. Mel ignores your plea, stapling the papers together.

"You're acting weird—"

"You may be excused." She says louder, sharper. Mel was aware she was being childish, and frankly hypocritical. So what? She sleeps with Jayce more times than not. What was wrong with you sleeping with Viktor?

Mel was upset you chose Vikor over her.

She watches the hurt flash through your beautiful eyes, taking a second before lifting yourself from your chair and leaving, respecting her wishes. Jayce drops his smile before either of you could see, and you shoot him an angry, accusing look. He turns his head to watch you leave, noticing the faint limp on your legs as his eyes trails back up your body.

The door is softly closed behind you, and Jayce turns back to look at Mel, who's eyes were still watching the door you had just exited through. She's mad at you. Jayce comes to the conclusion.

Mel's eyes darted to the large figure still here. He stood there, studying her, his hands intertwined right in front of his hips.

"She's free now, you've gotten your wish. You may leave, Jayce. "

He didn't need to be told twice. Shooting Mel an apologetic grin she couldn't care about, Jayce leaves the room to catch up to you.

You were already somewhat far down the corridors, your shoes clicking on the ground in a harsh manner. Jayce didn't need to do so much as jog to catch up to you. You see and feel his presence beside you, but you choose to ignore it. He did something.

With a cocky smile playing on his lips, he begins talking. "I was going to—"

"What the fuck did you do?" You spit, refusing to look at him.

He scoffs, offended you would think he was behind all of this, even if he loved it. "What did I do? You're the one she's upset with."

"You did something, Jayce." You insist, passing by doors and turning a corner. He didn't know where you were going, yet he still followed. "Aren't you the one who showed up late? She needed your help with the files yet you neglected her." He said casually, like it wasn't his problem. Which it wasn't.

"Is it because Mel prefers me?" You press, stopping abruptly and turning to face him, consumed with the idea that he's done something. "That Viktor would rather spend his time away from you? Dreaming about the moment he gets to see me?

Jayces grin turned into a scowl, his eyebrows furrowed down. He was easy to irritate, knowing exactly what nerves to pull on. "You're talking out of your ass."

"Oh, but am I?" Your look of disgust said enough. "You're obsessed, Talis. You don't want to believe Viktor had scribbled the wrong answers on the chalkboard just so he could finish quickly and come see me. You don't want to believe that to him, you're nothing but an obstacle in the way."

"You're fucking stupid." He says, lowering his voice, aware that the two of you are publicly arguing in the hallways.

"Was I stupid when Viktor fucked me raw? When I watched him trying to eagerly get away from you to get to me instead?" You hissed, blinded by rage as Jayce watched you step closer to him, his chest falling up and down at your words.

"Or how about when Mel could only ever talk about me when she's with you? You will always hear my name leave her lips, when it's meant to be yours." You kept going, he had to get the hint, if the threat you gave him hadn't worked, then twisting an invisible knife in his chest should.

"Face it, Jayce." You step closer, your faces inches apart as you take in the loathing in his goldenrod eyes.  He had to dip his head to look at you, refusing to step back. "You don't hate me. You wished you were me."

-

A few days had passed. Mel was still avoiding you, she was stupidly aware of her behavior. Her intention wasn't to punish you, but rather herself. She was dumbly upset that you chose him.

The meetings with the council were stiff and awkward. At first, you had tried all in capacity to get her back on your side. Not really knowing why missing plans by a little bit had affected her this much. But her obvious demand for pushing you away was enough. You didn't want to bother her, she clearly didn't want you around. Whatever Mel wanted, you would do for her.

Maybe it was her mother. You considered.  She did have a private conversation with her about how much of a distraction you were. Maybe the brainwashing had worked, and Mel found truth in her mother. You didn't want to believe it.

The time you've spent away from Mel was dreadful, on top of all the council meetings and political conversations without her comfort. The only good thing you got out of it was more time with Viktor.

It was weird. While half your heart was rotting away, the other half was brightly crimson and pumping happily. Viktor had a lot more to offer than you had thought.

He was perfect. You'd end every night with him. Whether it was in your room or his, the night would either end with the sound of skin slapping against skin and passionate kissing, or the chatter and storytelling of the two of you talking until you fell into slumber.

Mel would've said you replaced her.

Jayce had finally got out of your way. You'd pass by him with mutual looks of hatred darted at one another. Or when you'd go to the lab to see Viktor after a long day with Jayce accompanying him, the two of you would ignore the other with looks that kill.

Viktor had caught on, he wasn't dumb.

"It seems like Jayce's dislike has turned mutual." He said, fluttering his eyes closed to the feel of your fingers in his thick hair, massaging his scalp.

"Yeah." You say, "I finally caught on. Safe to say neither of us like the other."

"Mmm." He hums. "Turns out you're just as expressive as he is, passionate too. Maybe the two of you are more alike than you think." He says, yawning at the feel of your fingers.

You wince. "Don't even say that." Viktor just lightly chuckles, sliding a hand under your shirt as the two of you lay there tiredly.

No to mention your long talks about Mel. Whether Viktor liked talking about her or not, he listened to you, and felt that without you two together, nothing was right. The two of you without the other was like a paper without its pen. He had said.

Today, however, Viktor was being taken by Heimerdinger for a long, private conversation. Heimerdinger is offering Viktor the option to choose a peculiar student from the Academy and possibly have them see the process of manufacturing Hextech. You already knew what his answer would be. No. Perhaps Jayce may do it instead.

Despite it all, you were all alone today. You had gone to Mel's room today, needing to get a shirt of yours that was still in her wardrobe.

She hadn't even let you in, she just closed the door on you and went to get the shirt for you herself. Reopening the door and handing it to you.

You had tried to use that excuse to fix whatever happened between you both, but clearly she wasn't buying it. So going to see Mel outside of the council today wasn't an option.

It was hard for you to spend your day without another person, especially when that only person was Jayce.

You really, really didn't want to go see Jayce.

Yet your feet were dragging you to the laboratory. It was either that or the forge. You refused to check on him in the forge. Not today.

Announcing your presence with 2 knocks on its door, you twist its knob open, allowing yourself in.

Jayce stands in front of the black chalkboard, clutching a small piece of white chalk in his hand as he stares up at the equations. He was standing at an angle where you saw mostly his back, and just a slice of the side of his face.

"I thought you wouldn't be done until tonight." Jayce says without turning to look at you, clearly thinking you're Viktor.

"And I thought Viktor didn't knock twice to enter." You say, Jayce whips his head to you, his clutch on the chalk tightening.

"What are you doing here?" He says, annoyance lacing his tone, yet still relaxed enough. "He's still with Heimerdinger." Jayce adds, like it means something. Which it does. You never really come into the lab unless Viktor is there.

But everything has been different lately.

You walk in, touching their current projects softly with the tips of your fingers, holding a few of them. Jayce just watches you, catching on to the fact you weren't here for Viktor.

"Go find Mel, I'm sure she's waiting for you somewhere." He turns to his board, though he lost his track of thought on the equation because of you. He attempts to regain it.

You sigh, "You ruined that for me, remember?"

"Believe what you want. I'm tired of trying to explain that I had no say for how Mel feels about you now, even if it makes me the happiest man in the world." He crosses out a few numbers.

"The happiest man in the world?" You repeat. "So deplorable."

He lets out a breath. "Why are you still here?"

"Well, you successfully turned Mel against me, and Viktor is out. Salo is attempting to get a lay off from me, and Cassandra can't talk to me without mentioning how bad my shooting skills are."

"You suck."

"Fuck you very much."

"So, what? You're here because you're bored?"

"Ding ding ding."

You sit on a workbench, believing it's much more comfortable than whatever those stools are made of. They really did numb your ass. Swear it.

"After how angry you got me, how angry I got you? Gods." He scoffs, turning to look at you, an expression of irritated disbelief.

"At least then I wasn't bored." You consider. He looks at you like you've grown another eye. Jayce turns back, choosing that ignoring your presence would help him out. The sound of scribbling chalk being the only thing heard throughout the lab.

Jayce, the past few days, had only grown to hate you even more. You had successfully stolen his partner from him, and any plan that Viktor made with you, it would ruin his. Not to mention your last conversation together, he was sure he hated you all around. You don't think about him as much as he does of you, but you definitely do think about him more than you had before.

Jayce just being aware of your presence behind him made him angry on its own. You silently watched him, clearing your throat when he'd stop to think. It made him want to hurl the whole board over. It wasn't until the door was opened and the clicking of heels entered. You both mechanically turn at the same time, seeing Mel. Your heart skips a beat, leaping in your chest, getting off the workbench and anxiously watching her approach.

"Chums now, I see." Mel says lightly.

"Quite the opposite." You say, a small chuckle leaving your lips as Jayce gives you an annoyed look and you give him one back.

She doesn't acknowledge you, and your heart cracks. She speaks directly to Jayce. "I've come to inform you that Bolbok is hosting a private event tomorrow evening. It would be greatly appreciated if you showed up."

You mentally sigh, forgetting completely about the party tomorrow. "Yeah, I'll come. It'll be great advertising." Jayce poorly attempts a joke. Neither of you laugh.

"Hah." He murmurs.

"I'll see you then. Come as my date, seeing as Y/N already has hers." She states, and you suddenly feel horrible about everything you've ever done in the world. You stand there, watching dreadfully as Jayce accepts the offer, flattered and blushing. He attempts again at a joke, which was unbelievably bad, and she laughs. You hear her laugh for the first time in days, and you hate that it didn't come from you. She was laughing at Jayce's joke.

You clutch the side of your dress tightly, most likely wrinkling the fabric as she gives him a suggestive look before leaving. Mel looked beautiful, and it was directed all at him.

With her gone, you turned to look at Jayce. Who smiled at the look of hatred plastered across your expression. He turned back to his blackboard. "Something wrong, princess? Suddenly getting a taste of your own medicine?" He spoke up, too confident for your liking.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew it. You knew you were going to leave furious. You were doing this to yourself.

Although you came here yourself, you begin to leave as if you had been forced to come here in the first place. "Stay the fuck away from me, Jayce." You breathe, aiming all your fury at him.

"Why do you even care? You have your date already." He says, turning to watch you leave.

"Are you dumb, by any chance? Aren't you perfectly aware of the state my relationship with Mel is currently in, because of you?" You twist your torso, your expression a look of mock-bewilderment. 

"Because of me!" He finally breaks, snapping at you as he takes a few steps toward you. "I would love to know where you got that information from, since your clinging to it like a fucking pacifier, Y/N."

"Don't act stupid, Jayce." You walk up to him, closing the distance between you two. "You're the one who's hated me since the beginning, wishing you were me. I noticed your excitement the very first time she treated me like shit. Gods, you were livid."

"Or," He spoke, jaw clenching, "she finally noticed how you're not worth it anymore." He said, lowly, differing the contrast between both your voices. Jayce raises a hand to your shoulder, and you think he's going to pull the same act he did the first time he interrogated you. Instead, his touch is soft, sliding slowly up your neck as you hold the weight of his eyes, sharing a look of mutual disgust.

His hands cup your jaw, a thumb brushing your cheek before traveling to your nape, bunching up your hair with his large hands. "What if she's finally noticed you're nothing but a pretty face." He pulls your hair down harshly, a small groan leaving your lips at the suddenness, cranking your neck to fully face him.

"If I fucked over your friendship with Mel," He stares you down, sharing breathes with you as the grip he had on your hair began to hurt your scalp. "Trust me, I'd be telling the whole fucking world."

"My threat still stands." You choke, voice breaking as he leaned closer to you. The loathing in his eyes was inexcusable, a mutual feature you shared. You watched his eyes flutter closed, tilting your pupils as you watched his head dunk lower. His breath was hot, fanning your wildly exposed neck as he brought his soft lips to press against your skin. A sharp trail of chills coating your body, his lips warm on your skin. The grip on your hair was gone, his hands dropped to his side as he approached his blackboard once more, his back to you as you made eye contact with his broad shoulders.

"Get the fuck out of my lab" He said, like the last few seconds hadn't existed in the universe. You stared at him, just as angry as you were seconds ago, but with confusion and emotion hurling in your body. Convinced you were imagining it all, the feel of Jayce's lips still on your neck, very intensely lingering, you sneered. "With pleasure."

-

The party was packed, especially for a private one. The elite of Piltover and even the elite of other countries came flooding in. Everyone dressed head to toe in riches and glamour, you were no exception. It took Viktor almost an hour to pry himself off of you before the party started, and since the man was no superfan of PDA, he had no choice but to hold himself for the night.

He looked like a snack. His hair was beautifully tasseled in the messy manner he prefers, his suit was a dull black, with a vest dark crimson that barely made a difference, his button up shirt just as dark and dull as both, the first few buttons left open to peek at his collarbones. His crutch was almost even decorative, matching his outfit perfectly. No one would take him for someone who didn't want to be here in the first place. Which he didn't. He only came for you.

You held your glass of wine and stared at him, wishing you were exclusive. Gods, was it hard for you to keep yourself off him too.

"Let's leave." Viktor insisted, eyeing you in your beautifully fit dress.

"We just got here." You say, sipping from your drink as you honestly wished you could leave, too. "I don't care, I want you all for myself. That's not too selfish, is it?" He moves closer to you, and you breathe his scent in, he smelt heavenly.

"Not selfish enough, I'm afraid." You bring the glass that was just on your lips to his. He takes a long, swift drink from it as a rich comes up to you.

"You look phenomenal this evening, Y/L/N." He praises, brushing back his thin hair. "How about a dance?" He offers the hand he had just used. You stare down at it, as does Viktor, burning a mental hole through it.

You blink back up at the middle-aged man, with a daughter your age also attending this party. "I'm afraid not today." You turn down, not bothering to offer him an apologetic smile.

The man uses the hand to smooth down his suit. "Why–why of course. No worries. Perhaps you can tell me where councilor Medarda is?" He stutters, attempting to ask instead. Of course, wherever you go, people just assume Mel is trailing somewhere not far behind. Surprising the man, you give him an unbothered shrug.

He takes your nonverbal answer and leaves. Viktor lets out a sigh, handing you the glass to finish. "You're aware this is the third person you've had to turn down? And the party's only just started." Viktor mentions, and you sigh right along, drinking from the glass.

You didn't need to say much, because Viktor fully understood. Lifting your gaze to the entrance, you see Mel and Jayce walking in. You take her all in, your clasp around the glass only tightening. She looked breathtaking, her dress black and the golden accents on her body popping. You longed for her back, right then and there for the millionth time. You lift your eyes to find her capturing them, holding your gaze, she slowly drifts her gaze lower, taking all of you in before you both switch your gazes to your dates.

As Viktor and Mel study one another, your eyes lock in with Jayce's. You definitely didn't forget about the misfortune about yesterday, when you left his lab with your body on fire. Both literally and figuratively. You had to peel your clothes off your body and you turned your shower on immediately, even then your mind not leaving the thought of him alone. Even now, the next day, just looking at him made you feel the linger of his lips on your neck.

Almost the same could be said about him. When you left, he stared at the blur of an equation until he couldn't ignore it anymore, palming his crotch through his pants as he almost silently moaned, leaving for his apartment as soon as Viktor arrived.

It was safe to say he looked as good as Viktor, his hair brushed back as a few messy strands leaned the other way, brushing his forehead. His suit was a dark navy, almost non-existent blue, tied with his white button up and belt with a golden buckle that matched perfectly with Mel.

You had to say, they looked amazing together, and you hated it. Imagining yourself in Jayce's shoes, you come to the conclusion that you'd look better with her. Not disregarding the fact that Viktor and you looked almost powerful when together.

"I hate them." You decide under your breath. Viktor smiled.

"You know that'll never truly be the case."

You both watched her greet everyone, Jayce right beside her like a dog, greeting everyone with her. You couldn't peel your eyes off her, and Viktor noticed. He slid a hand on your back. You leaned into him for comfort. "She looks beautiful." Viktor says, not even looking at her, but at you.

"She does."

Time ticks and you're forced into conversations and offers you wished you weren't. You hadn't noticed when Jayce peeled himself from Mel's side and approached the two of you. He eyed the hand on your waist before falling into conversation with Viktor. You heard him talk, completely and utterly ignoring you. Which doesn't say much, since you're ignoring him too, forcing yourself to look past him and watch whatever.

Of course, your sight only takes you to Mel. To your surprise, she was already looking at you. You blinked at one another. Your heart ached to see her, to be near her and just talk to her. You wanted to touch her and feel her and smell her. You've gone too long without her, and you're praying she feels the same.

When Jayce leaves for Mel again, the party moves forward, and Viktor and you have come to the agreement that neither of you are dancing. Bonding over your wanting to leave and your inability to dance, you decide that facing each other is best.

"Go talk to her." He says, out of seemingly nowhere. But somehow you were expecting it, already knowing what he's talking about. 

"So I've tried." You sigh.

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'm not talking about previously. I'm talking about now, today. Talk to her, Y/N."

You want to listen, you truly do. But you can't. She's made it clear enough she wants nothing to do with you, even if it hurts and confuses you.

You stare up at Viktor, drowning in his amber eyes as you both lean. Comforted by his scent, you were about to consume yourself with his lips on yours before a throat being cleared interrupts you both, pulling away from each other. You turn to see Mel, the closest she's been to you the past few days, gazing at you and Viktor.

"How about a word in private, please?" She speaks, her voice sweet and your knees almost buckle right there. Your eyes dart from her to Jayce, he towers right behind her, like he doesn't have a mind of his own and does whatever she says. It's as if he could hear your thoughts, for his gaze hardens when you catch his eyes.

Caught off guard as anxiousness shoots through you, you try not to stutter, excited with the idea of Mel wanting to talk to you again.

Viktor squeezes your waist before letting go of it, silently urging you to go on. "Oh, uh." You swallow. "Yeah. Sure," You look at her again, as if scared she's magically disappeared before turning to look at Viktor. "He may come too." She assures. To which forms a confused look on Viktor's face.

"Great." You say, masking your voice to be cool, calm, and collected.

You follow her out of the party and out of the corridors. You walked in silence as the two boys trailed a little farther behind, chatting. You don't bother asking where you're going or what you're doing. You have only one statement to say.

"I missed you." You muttered, your voice cracking as you blinked ahead, continuing to walk as her head turned to look at you. You couldn't bring it in yourself to look at her. She turned her head to look back to wherever you're going.

"Gods, Y/N." Mel whispers as you begin to realize you're heading in the direction of her office. "I said I was gonna do this professionally." She voiced under her breath, fighting a mental war. "You're killing me."

Now, you couldn't help but look at her, but you were too late. You've already reached her office and she was quick to open her door for it, letting you, Jayce, and Viktor in.

Entering, Jayce comfortably sits on Mel's small sofa on the side of her office. While Viktor is first to talk. "What's all this for?" He asks, not exactly bothering to be nice to Mel, with how sad she's made you.

She gestures for you to sit on her small sofa, and you do, staring up at her as you feel Jayce's body heat radiating off him.

"Well, Jayce had spoken with me beforehand," She began, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. Here we go. "and he convinced me that you," Mel looks at you directly, moving closer to you, "deserved none of this."

Your breath is caught in your throat, swallowing it down as you hold her gaze. She was so close, and so beautiful. She held your face with her hand, tilting your chin up to stare up at her. "I was dramatic, and angry." She tried to explain, her voice quieter, not speaking to the room, but to you. "I thought you had chosen Viktor, and that was it. I believed you made your choice so, so be it." The warmth of her hands leaves your face. You're barely processing what you're hearing.

Viktor perks up from the spot he's standing at with his name being mentioned, watching this scene play out with such attentiveness. "The way I dealt with the manner was childish." She admits, sitting by Jayce, who was now separating the two of you from sitting directly next to each other. "Jayce was right, and for that I'm sorry, Y/N." She finally says.

You were silent, turning to look at Jayce, who was so close to you now. The asshole gives you a petty shrug, his look of 'I-told-you-so' expressive. He's done you a favor, yet he still pissed you off. You look away from him before you could feel yourself getting annoyed.

You blink back at Mel, who is visibly so nervous, mentally begging for you to say something. She can only keep her composure for so long.

Deciding to completely ignore Jayce's presence, you lean over him. "You can stab me a hundred times, give me a million wounds, and I will come crawling back to you every time. No matter what, Mel." You say to her, and she copies your actions, lifting her knees to fold under her as she kneels over Jayce.

"I missed you, Y/N. I'm sorry." She pleads, darting her eyes from your mouth to your eyes, she was ready to melt into you.

You were both seated beside Jayce, yet your upper bodies and faces were right above him. He watches you guys as you two lean closer together. "I forgive you. And for the times again, and again, after this." You assure her, blinking over her shoulder at Viktor. Who nodded, a small smile musing his lip, 'Do it.' he mouthed. 

You filled in the distance between you, capturing her lips with yours, and she was quick to hold your face, kissing you back, harder and deprived, needier. You pull away, looking at her and gasping slightly, savoring her before slamming your lips back to hers. She makes a hum in your mouth when your tongue opens it. The kiss was messy and utterly wet. The two of you were away from each other for too long, some may say not that long, but it was long enough for you both to have you reunite like this.

Mel's hands tangle around your hair, unconsciously pulling it as she's completely consumed by your mouth. You lose balance, holding your position long enough before dropping your hand on Jayce's lap to hold you up. He sucks in a breath, the scene before him hard not to affect a human through a screen. Let alone up close, above him. Two of the most beautiful girls in Piltover making out right above him? He adored one, and loathed the other.

So enthralled with each other, you crawl over Jayce, insisting to get Mel closer, needing to feel her body on yours. He believed that you were going beyond heights to ignore him. You kick your shoes off, and so does she, laying on her back as your knees hover past his lap. He watches you arch your back, moaning into Mel's mouth. Jayce was borderline panicking, looking up to look for Viktor.

Viktor watches the two of you. It was like watching two goddesses together, he envied Jayce for getting the V.I.P seats. He darts his eyes to Jayce, who's own eyes were wide, the scene before him so much for a big guy like him.

Viktor gives him a look, saying 'We-should-leave-them-have-this-moment'.

How does he get out of here? You had him trapped, not that he minded, but Viktor was right, as much as he wanted to stay and watch. Viktor can see the mental struggle of Jayce trying to figure out how to leave without taking you out of the mood. Your knees between both his thighs as your feet rested on his farther one, your back curved over the other as you kissed Mel's neck.

Looking back at Viktor for help, he quietly said "Touch her." Both you and Mel could hear him, but you two were in your own little world to even notice, let alone care.

Jayce trusted Viktor for better judgement, after all, he would indeed hear you two fucking every time he'd walk past your doors late at night. Viktor should be an expert on how to not get you out of the mood as you make-out with your best friend. He should be?

Right.

Jayce lifts a large hand on the slope of your back, dragging it slowly down your waist and to your ass as he feels your skin over the thin material of your dress. "Taking care of her so well." He praises, even if he wishes he never did, lifting another hand to softly graze your waist before lightly gripping it. He watched the way you made her lose focus, her eyes rutting to the back of her head. You knew how to please her, and so did he. He never thought the two of you would have something in common. He wished you didn't

"She's moaning your name, Y/N. Do you hear that? 'Must be pleasing her so well." He leans to whisper in your ear, and you sigh to the feeling of Mel's knee digging inside your dress and between your legs, riding it as you feel Jayce's hands take up so much space on your hips. He slightly moves you, shifting under you as you're placed right back where you were, just with him gone from under it. He's standing up now, letting go of the grip on your hips by releasing it and having his palm slightly drag past your ass.

He can't look away, he just can't. Neither can Viktor, their eyes glued to both of you until they finally make it out, the last thing they see was both of you shoving yourselves out of your uncomfortable dresses.

Jayce does the punishment of closing the door on you both while Viktor couldn't bring himself to do it, and the two turn to look at one another. Both Viktor and Jayce release a sigh. "Let's quickly take care of ourselves before returning to the party. Can't let anyone be suspicious."

Viktor considers Jayce's words, not without a grimace though. He would more rather be in there with the two of you than at that fancy, lame party. Jayce couldn't help but agree wordlessly.

Meanwhile, you rode her knee like there was no tomorrow, naked and skin to skin, you licked your fingers and pressed them against her clit, your manicured-painted hands rubbing her pussy as you swashed saliva. You two kept pulling your mouths away from each other for air, but attaching it again after barely a second, unable to get enough from each other.

She moaned out your name as you almost harshly fingered her, sloshing your fingers up and down her pussy as you suddenly shoved them in her. "Serves you right, M." You mumbled shakily, dragging your tongue behind her ear, sucking and biting and kissing. All of it, you were doing. She pushes her knee farther against you in response, having you squeal.

You reposition yourself, straddling her thigh as you lowered your tongue down her body, reaching her stomach as you reached your hand to mold her breasts, dealing with them delicately as she arched her back to you. You watch your fingers slam in and out of her as she gasps, taking them completely out right as she's about to cum. She whines.

"Not just yet, M." You say, sitting up as the fingers you were previously using were hovering over her clit. You make her look into your eyes as you arch your back down to your hips. She slowly feels your pussy come in contact with hers, your leg sliding below her thigh as the other one stays over Mel's other thigh. You grind against her, and the feeling is beyond overwhelming, you both sputter out moans. You tenderly rub her clit as she motions her hips to grind further into you.

"So… good." She whimpers, half of it muffled because she shoved the side of her face into the sofa's cushioning.

"As good as you imagined? As good as you dreamed of?" You groan, picking up the speed in which you apply more friction to her pussy with your own, her moans growing louder. "Huh, M?"

"Better… better." Her tits brush up against yours as you lean over her, that's how much her back was arched and your speed was getting. Mel pushed herself against you rapidly, finding her soft spot and using you to reach it over and over. It wasn't until both your thighs were stickily plastered with liquids on each other did you slow down.

You both catch your breaths, stealing a moment of silence from each other. You give her tits another peck from your lips, and her eyes follow every move you pull. "I'm sorry."

"Mel, I forgave you long before I even entered this room. Drop it." You softly chuckle, going to kiss her lips again, which she takes advantage of. Holding your lips with hers for a while, savoring every bit of it before pulling back.

-

You felt on top of the world, that's for sure. You got two of the best ever, hypothetically seated right there on both your legs. 

If you were being honest, there was only one man you could thank for that, and you really, really didn't want to. A few weeks or less has passed since the day of the party Bolbok hosted, the day Mel wanted you back. Oh, what a lovely day that was.

It puts you where you are today, right between Viktor and Mel, on your bed, half naked. You were thrilled. They had begun to tolerate each other because of you, and it's been great. Of course, Mel has still been sleeping with Jayce as you have been with Viktor. But you were her little guilty pleasure, vice versa.

Sometimes, just like when Mel would wake up and find Viktor on your bed, you'd wake up in her room and find Jayce. Every time you look at him, whether in professional settings or not, you would always think 'This fucking guy.' 

Whether positive or negative, it was always 'This fucking guy.'

Today, however, was located in your bed, so no Jayce. You and Mel had woken up together, changing and talking, still keeping your voices down not to wake Viktor. Who shifted around in your bed and lazily blinked his eyes open, watching the two of you dress. The two of you barely notice, leaving the room as Viktor falls back asleep. He wakes up later than you two, but not too far from now.

You were sort of like Switzerland for Mel and Viktor, still disliking each other, but not as much as before. They didn't mind the others' presence, and you wouldn't mind if they kissed. This is a topic you bring up to them a lot. It would be really cool if they kissed. They just kind of pretend like they didn't hear you.

When the two of you approached the council, a good chunk of it was missing. When asked where everyone was, the remaining said that they had other important plans, so today was going to be a day off. However, councilor Shoola took Mel to the side and requested a private talk from her.

Just like many days before, you knocked on the laboratory door and opened it. Finding it empty. This time, you weren't going to find Jayce on your own free will, you were carrying a word from Hoskel to him. So you kind of have to find him.

The only other place you could think of was the forge, oh gods, the forge. You just couldn't do it. You weren't ready to enter it and immediately get sweaty and hot, trying to gather your thoughts as the heat turned your brain to mush. Also you couldn't face Jayce shirtless and oily. But you refused to even think about that.

You needed to stall. Where else could he be? You thought in the empty lab, slightly embarrassed it took you this long to consider his bedroom. You've never been there, but you knew where it was from the help of Mel a little while ago. You try to recall your steps as you search for his room.

Squeezing your brain dry, you try to remember if you made a right or a left to get to his little apartment. Turns out it was left, needing to go back after not finding it. Standing in front of his door, you knock twice. You wait a few, long seconds, grumbling before you reach your hand and twist it around the knob, the door being shoved open before you're able to do it yourself. 

You're met with Jayce and bedridden hair, messily sprayed across his forehead. He blinks down at you, tiredly yawning before shutting the door on your face. You scoff, "What the fuck?" blinking at the sight of the blank door for a second. "Open the door, Jayce." You say in a slightly loud voice.

"Stop opening the door before you're allowed in." He calls from directly behind it, the slab of wood being the only thing between you both. You genuinely roll your eyes this time.

"Gods, Talis. Open the door, you don't even have to let me in." You say, your idea of a negotiation. Jayce rubs his eyes behind the door, listening to your attempt at getting what you want so easily, something he hated. So, he decided to make you do the one thing he knew would hurt you.

"Say please."

This fucking guy.

He didn't think you'd actually do it, half expecting you to just walk away from the door, being his goal in the end. But when he hears you suck in an annoyed breath, he's fully awake now. "Please."

He was definitely not letting this fly past so easily, he had you right where he wanted you, and he wasn't going to let it go so quickly. "Please, what?"

You shut your eyes as your heart-rate picks up, attempting to hold your anger as you decided to be the bigger person. Slowly opening your mouth, your tongue forms the syllables. "Please, Jayce."

The door was twisted open, you pushed it open as you watched him approach his wardrobe, his back to you. You took a few steps inside. 

"Fuck you." You say, watching him wrap his fingers around the bottom of his wrinkled shirt.

"Thank you, you mean." He corrects, taking it off as you stare at his back, memorizing the amount of muscles he has.

"For what? I'm here to deliver you a message from Hoskel—"

"I did you a favor." Jayce cuts you off, turning to his side to get a good look at you, his expression furrowed, his eyes squinting in annoyance. It was obvious what he was talking about, and you couldn't tiptoe around it, shamelessly eyeing his shirtless torso.

"Is that what you're calling it now? Why are you still thinking about it?" You click your tongue, forcing your eyes to tear away from his biceps and to his face.

"Excuse me?" He starts, his voice still grumbly from being asleep. "Mel would have never forgiven you if it weren't for me. I convinced her to take you into that room and apologize. If it weren't for me, you would have never fucked her that night." He spit, taking off his sweats as he changed into his uniform ones. You tried to stay modest and look away, but you couldn't, just from his underwear, you could tell he was packing.

You stepped closer to him, but not too close. A habit the two of you did a lot when you were left alone together. "Do you always lie, Talis?" You wonder out loud, a tinge of satisfaction coating your chest at the look of offense on his face, calling him a liar. "I vividly remember your insults, you saying she realized my worth, that I'm nothing but a pretty face." You revise, telling him as he listens to you talk, nodding his head to everything you recalled. "All while convincing her to win me back? It all felt so real, Jayce."

"I couldn't stand your fucking whining anymore. If it makes you feel any better," He zips his pants up, you watch him do so. He sees your eyes linger down there before looking back up at him. "I meant every word.

"I thought you said I was stealing her from you?" You curve an eyebrow, "You complain and harass me, and then hand her right to me in the end." You state, he watches you look up to his ceiling as you pretend to remember. He doesn't say anything. You continue. "Now I've stolen your lab partner and your girlfriend, what next?" You ask, leaving the question to linger in the air for a moment. "You?"

He snorts. "See, that actually takes some effort" He reaches to grab his usual brown button-up, slipping it through an arm as you sighed, walking around his room, studying the place. He watched you, unsure where you're getting at. Even more unsure why he hasn't asked you to leave yet.

"Your problem, Jayce," You start softly, running your hand down his messy bed sheets, "is that you don't see that I've won you over long before I have ever won Viktor." You murmured, fixing his sheets after feeling them.  "You've been obsessed."

"Obsessed? Your confidence is unsettling. I merely disliked you, you don't matter to me as much as you think you do." You didn't believe a single word, and you don't think he does either. You force his eyes to catch yours. 

"Again with the lying, Jayce. When will it stop?"

"What do you want? To piss me off like you do all the fucking time already? Sorry, princess, I have other plans today." Jayce says, buttoning the first few buttons on the bottom together, watching you clean up his bed, keeping yourself occupied. The silence in the room was palpable, horribly thick.

"What do you want?" He repeats himself, not bothering to even wear an angry expression like you'd expect, he just waited for your answer.

"Nothing." You finally decide, you're wasting your time. Turning your back on him, you start reaching for the exit of his room. "Hoskel only wanted me to tell you about his—"

Jayce grabs your arm. "Oh my gods. Fuck Hoskel. I don't couldn't care less. What do you want?"

PART 3

You eyed the hand wrapped around your arm, lifting your eyes to his. "You like grabbing me a lot." You state, drifting your gaze to his unbuttoned chest. You hated him, he was a jealous asshole. A prick. But speaking to Mel privately, and getting her to forgive you had you dislike him a little less. You dreaded him for it.

You hated him, making you like him even just a centimeter more than before. You blamed it all on him, the good and the bad, it was all his fault even if it wasn't. You couldn't imagine yourself feeling a kind, nice instinct toward Jayce. The emotions the two have built your relationship on was far from positive adjectives like kind or nice.

He's never bothered to show you any form of patience or sweetness, so why should things change up now? Just because he put in a good word for you, doesn't mean you necessarily wanted to treat him like how Viktor perhaps would. Jayce wasn't your pal. You weren't planning on making him one, either.

You were used to what you both established, none of that lovey dovey sappy shit. What the two of you had was not built off a slow burn lie, a friendship blossoming. It was built with complete raw and exhilarating passion. Passionate fucking anger.

You didn't want to change that.

"What do you want?" Jayce repeats, the grip on your arm telling you a whole different story than the one on his face. You were reminded of when he first snapped with you. You weren't fully aware of his loathing to you until that night, after you'd kissed Viktor for the very first time, only wanting to tell Mel about it. He'd grabbed you by the arm, and you left him with a threat. You look back at the memory fondly. Now, it was almost the same. HIs grip was angry, but his eyes were pleading. He looked like a little boy, mentally urging you to say what he wants to hear.

This is the first time you'd ever seen an expression like that on his face. "Not a thing, Jayce. I have everything I could ever want." You answer, saying the sentence slowly, like he were a child being repeated a question on a pop quiz.

"Really?" He asks, his eyes narrowing and his hand slowly leaving your arm. "You're finally full?"

You stare up at him as all your senses fly to the side of your arm, right where he had held it as you considered his question. "What?"

He buttons up his shirt, covering up his chest as he looks at you like how the arrogant elite would at a beggar. "You kept biting off more than you can chew, and when you've finally swallowed it all down, you don't bother cleaning your plate."

You were confused, trying to roam your mind for everything this could apply to, going down to the basics. Jayce despises you because he was jealous, something you both came to the conclusion of. You manage to pry Mel and Viktor from his palm and into your own, that was the center goal on why he disliked you so much. So what was he saying? You bit off more than you could chew.

"Are you saying I'm out of their league, Jayce?" You inquire, not needing to mention their names for him to understand. "Like I planned it, because it was just so hard?" You watch him button up the very last button of his shirt, reaching the start of his neck. You weren't a fan of the look, reaching your own hand to slowly button it back down. To your surprise, he didn't stop you. "Let me remind you," You spoke softly, he watched your mouth, the way your tongue peaks out when you pronounce the 'L'. "Mel and Viktor came running to me the very moment they were allowed to."

"Your ego baffles me." Jayce spoke, watching you unbutton his shirt all the way down. "Do I truly have to mention how Mel still sinks on my cock like there's no tomorrow? Or how Viktor is still my partner, Y/N? Spending more hours in the day with me than with you." You run your hand down his chest, feeling it from the start of your fingers down the palm of your hands. His skin was hot and carved perfectly to your touch.

"That's your problem, Y/N." He murmurs to you, "You always talk about them like they're yours, but you forget who even started it all. Notice how you only paid attention to the first part of that sentence? You completely missed my point, and that just shows what kind of person you are."

You move your attention from his chest to his face. "You love pretending like you're smart. Like you've got me all figured out just because you did me a favour once. You will never get to know anything about me beside the fact I fucked your girlfriend and your lab partner with ease."

Jayce feels your hand softly slide from his chest to his shoulder, slipping the dress shirt off him. "You're a cocky whore." His mouth twitches, and your grin spreads. 

"And, what? You're not?" You hold the shirt up, smelling it as you locked eyes with him. It smelt like it had just come from the laundry, yet a faint scent of leather and vanilla wafts in your nose. You throw his shirt onto the bed behind him.

He ignores you, using his large hands to move your hair from your shoulders to expose that area, his fingertips brushing over your collarbones and to the section connecting your neck and shoulders. "So greedy, you are." Jayce tells you, using his hands to gently move the strap of your dress down. 

You eye his mouth. "It must feel good. Being the golden boy of Piltover, man of Progress." You praise as you watch his exposed chest fall up and down. "Yet still a little bitch behind the scenes." You rip any sort of flattery away, and his jaw ticks.

"Cute. Particularly ironic coming from the biggest slut in the council."

"What? Sad that only Mel and Viktor are getting all the action while you're left behind?"

"I want nothing to do with you." He spits, flashing you those teeth again. You can't help it, you push him onto his bed as you catch his mouth with yours.

To your surprise, he clutches a hand onto your hips immediately, kissing you as soon as you come in contact with him. The kiss hurt. It was messy, the way your tongues were immediately invading each other's personal space. More than messy, it was hard. He had a hand on your hips, holding you hard enough to bruise as his other hand was half on your jaw, and half tangled in your hair, tugging on it. 

You straddled his waist as both your hands held his face, trying to draw blood from his mouth. Jayce, completely aware of your intentions, groans into your mouth as he attempts to do the same to you. "I fucking hate you." You cried against his lips as a metallic taste of coins entered your mouth. Neither of you were sure who it belonged to, yet still kissed each other against it. 

"You don't mean it." He says, you pull away from him. Opening your eyes, you see the corner of his lips protruding with a hint of crimson. From his point of view, blood was splattered all inside your mouth, and slowly, you smiled. He caught sight of your fangs and he pressed against the walls of his mouth with his tongue, somewhere along where the front of his teeth were, he felt the flesh ripped and his tongue be met with more of the metallic taste. "Fucking bitch."

"I guess you can see just how much I mean it, don't you?" You grinned, sitting up on his waist. In a sudden movement, he grabbed the back of your nape and pushed your face into his in a kiss. Both your hands threw themselves around his head as one gripped his bedridden hair tightly. His other hand that wasn't keeping you in place bunched up your dress all the way up to your ass. He managed to move you in a position where he was on top now.

Jayce's teeth pulled on the side of your mouth, he wouldn't stop until  he drew blood too. "Come on, you could do better than tha—" He shut you up by pulling the flesh on your lips, which was now bleeding.

"Better than what?" He challenges and you narrow your eyes at him. Your eyes squinting into a glare as you're folding your bottom lip into your mouth, licking the new wound on your lips.

Your lips just meet again, grunts and groans leaving both your lips as Jayce squeezes your plush ass harshly. Your legs go to wrap around his naked torso as he drags his mouth down, his teeth sinking onto your neck as you feel him mark you with hickeys. You push your head further into the pillow behind your head as your neck felt like it was on fire. You tug on his hair harder, moaning as you wished you didn't. You couldn't fuel his ego like this.

"You always take this long to suck ah, a hickey, Tah..lis?" 

"You sound fucking pathetic right now." Jayce says, pulling his mouth away from where it was before licking it softly with his warm tongue, a big gentle contrast to how harshly he was devouring your neck and collarbones. "Shut the fuck up." He attaches his mouth to your bloody lip as he very unkindly shoved your dress off you. You were almost naked now, minus the lace panties that sunk between your ass and the thin matching pair that hugged your breasts with little to no decency.

They were practically useless, didn't do much to cover you as the lace did nothing but decorate your tits with its pattern. "You always wear a set like this? Hoping the next, lucky guy gets to unwrap it off you like a present, slut?"

"Mmmm." You hum, your eyes closed as he peels the bra off you. "Lucky guy? I'm flattered." You flutter your eyes back open to see him staring at you. You peck the tip of his nose with your bloody mouth.

"You're unbelievable. Completely revolting." He mutters, and you pout. "Doesn't seem like I'm that revolting, with your hands around my tits like they're about to run away."

"Gods, shut up." He practically begs, flipping you to your stomach. You forget Jayce's height and strength isn't just for show, he's genuinely really strong. He does it all so easily you barely have time to process before your head is pressed against the pillow, a small groan leaving your lips.

"You finally gonna fuck me, Talis?" You coo, using your knees and elbows to lift yourself up as you look back at him.

He cocks his head to the side, almost like a dog as he hooks a finger around the side of your underwear, feeling the material between his fingers before letting it snap back to your hips. "I need to find a way to shut you up, don't I?"

"Hurry up, then." You huff, "Or are you gonna keep feeling the underwear I put on for Viktor the whole time?"

His large hand presses your head down to the pillow again, pressing the side of your face against it as he slowly brings his mouth close to your ears. "Don't talk about him when you're with me, yeah?" His tone was condescending, practically almost threatening. You can't help but smile. All of Runeterra could be against him, but only you could rile him up like this.

"You're just so slow." You say boringly, despite your grin. All that was left was a yawn. But Jayce was already beyond ticked off, shoving the underwear down to your thighs as he gripped your ass harshley.  "Needy, arrogant girl." You could hear him bare his teeth as he held your head down.

You felt him behind you, lining himself at your entrance as your breath hitches. He gives you no time to brace before he slams into you, and you cry out a moan, his size a shock to you, spreading you as you instinctively clench around him. The side of your head pressed against your pillow as you tried to keep yourself from losing control over your knees holding you up.  "Looks like that shut you up." He breathes, slowly moving his hips against you.

Your chest burned with annoyance. "I just can't get him out of my head." You say, knowing exactly how to tick him off. His pace picks up faster, his hands gripping both sides of your waist. "I was…" You interrupt yourself at the sensation of him picking up his speed. "I was so ready to see him to..tuh-day." You kept going, his movements growing rigid and sloppy, yet only faster.

"Am I just a distraction in your way, huh?" He groans, grabbing your hair and pulling it up, your neck pops up as you stare at the walls. Your eyes flutter shut and you biting onto your bottom lip, fucking yourself back to him, following his gestures as you took all of him in, your ass slapping against his skin.

"Now you're catching on." You sigh as he's shoved in and out of you, the sounds of sin being heard throughout the room and it only makes you wetter on his cock.

Jayce drops your head from his grasp, making contact with his pillow again as he drops his mouth to kiss your shoulder blade.  "I'll show you a real fucking distraction."

-

God's, this was so much worse than it had to be.

You were seated in the council room with everyone as per usual, with your shirt's neckline abnormally high and all three of them staring at you. Cassandra and Shoola responded to the other as Heimerdinger perked up with a suggestion, but you weren't even listening to that.

Jayce and Viktor were accompanying you, Mel, and the rest of the council this meeting because the topic discusses their latest project. Mel stared right past you and at Jayce, narrowing her eyes at him and he tried his best to seem unfazed. The rest of the council would think it was because she was in thought for the topic of discussion, but all four of you knew that wasn't the case. She didn't hold herself back from commenting on the bruise that crept from under your hemline and behind your ear.

Leaving Jayce's room yesterday and avoiding everyone for the rest of that day was hard. You said you had a minor flu and you realized how you need to be alone for the day. Mel had seemed to believe it at first, offering to get you soup or even massage you. Given how sore you were from Jayce, you were genuinely considering her offer before declining.

You had entered your bathroom and saw just how much Jayce had marked you. Lovebites down your neck, behind your ears, collarbones and breasts. He left you colored and it all seemed like a blur. You could barely remember when he had sucked any of them. Not to mention your legs, which felt like noodles. He had rearranged your guts inside out, and the stupid look on his face in the council showed his odd cockiness of the day.

You were the only one who saw his rude, cocky side. The rest of the council, and simply anyone else, saw him as this kind inventor. You wanted to sucker-punch that look off his face. But you couldn't, you weren't even paying any attention to him now. Your eyes were locked on Viktors.

If it weren't for the clench of his jaw, you'd think he's unfazed. Like he wasn't aware of anything. But you weren't stupid, and neither was Jayce. You both had noticed his stiffness since the moment he looked between the two of you in the council. It seems Mel has too, for she was eyeing daggers at the taller man. Jayce hated rejection, or disappointment from anyone. He was the kind of man who needed reassurance. But now? His small grin places his lips as he refuses to look at any of you.

-

(a/n; anyway sorry guys for deleting it i lowkey wish i didnt cus it got a lot of likes last time but whatever fuck this shit here you go)

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Congratulations on reaching 4000!! I read your TG Drabbles and absolutely fell in love with your writing so I was wondering if I could get prompt 24 + Urie 💕💕 fem! Ghoul reader x quinx member Urie!! Thank you :)

# tags: scenario; kinda enemies/lovers and current relationship; light romance; drama; angst; ghoul!reader & quinx!kuki; crying, vomit and blood mention; dead body; kinda ooc!kuki (but not much); suggestive

includes: female reader ft. kuki urie {tokyo ghoul}

author’s note: hi! thank you very much for this request! i really like kuki and i am really happy that i can write about him! love u

24. “I’m a monster! Can’t you see it?!”

Your blood-stained long T-shirt, tears on your cheeks flushed with heat, a few strands of hair on the dirty floor, and the fear in your eyes seemed to the young Inspector an image that was downright terrifying, even nightmarish; however, not because of your appearance and the look of the room you both were in, but because of how scared and sad you were at that time. How much your eyes shone with self-loathing and how damned deep down you wanted to disappear and never be born.

“I’m a monster! Can’t you see it?!”

Of course he knew you were a ghoul. The walking grotesque, his enemy, the walking death, humanity’s greatest failure. A abominable monster.

He knew and watched you for months, studying your whole body and your behavior – he believed that he would eventually find a magical solution that would restore your humanity. He has kept you as a secret for a long time from the rest of his co-workers, from his command and from his own family. Although he knew every day that you could attack him, he bravely endured your outbursts of aggression and murderous desire, insatiable anger.

He was there when you vomited trying to eat a tomato and cheese sandwich, he was there when you cried into his shoulder, begging him to kill you, and he was there when you felt too human, wishing he would love you and stay with you for ever. He was in your worst and nastiest moments, but he was also next to you when you smiled slightly as you laid the last wild draw four card on the table and shouted a loud, almost carefree ‘Uno!’. He was always there and will always be.

It was hard for him to bear the sight of your hands in the dark liquid, your torn clothes and the traces of murder that were right under his feet. You killed an innocent woman who got a promotion in the family business two days ago. You killed a person who probably had a family who loved her, children who had to be kissed before bed, or even a dog who was eagerly waiting for her to put some of his favorite food in his bowl. You ate half of her firm, sweet flesh with tears in your eyes, and when Kuki caught you in the act, you nearly ripped out your own windpipe to relieve your own suffering. If there’s one thing you hated, it was definitely being a ghoul.

The silence between you two was interrupted only by your painful crying and the sound of cars driving down the street a few floors below. You looked alternately at the dead headless woman and at the man you loved, once again begging him to finally kill you. Of course, he didn’t do it that night, nor when you begged him to do the same three days later, clutching his shirt in a tight grip; behind you lay the lower limb of some five years old child.

It was hard for both of you to live with the thought that you loved a human and he loved a being he should have killed the first time he discovered your true colors. But he couldn’t do that. He just couldn’t.

You were both weak and pathetic.

Second Son (XVI) | Regulus Black

Series Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

— Chapter Synopsis: The soul-tracking ritual ensues, and Anders has a precarious idea.

Part XV / Series Masterlist

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :). Sincerely hoping this chapter doesn't glitch again.

The excitement of performing the soul-tracking ritual wore off rather quickly when you realized that you had to draw out all of the runes since Anders was unable to crouch down. It was an extensive process and each character had to be extremely precise, causing your fingers to cramp up rather quickly. 

Your feet were feeling fuzzy as the circulation in your legs started to suffer from your position, your knees cracking noisily with every shuffle you took to continue mapping out the ritual circle. 

“I can’t feel my legs anymore.” You whined, upper body flopping down as you braced yourself with your palms. 

Anders grunts from in front of you, “You’re not even halfway there yet, and careful you almost smudged the Dagaz.” His drawl has you huffing, head instinctually snapping to the side to make sure you didn’t actually smear anything. 

“Easy for you to say, you’re sitting on a bloody stool while I’m hunched over, practically shining your boots!” Your exasperation was painted across your face, words spewing out in a mixture of annoyance and jest. 

The man rolls his eyes and rubs a hand over his knee, the joint no doubt aching, “Careful loyal vassal of mine, I am graciously offering you my help after all,” his tone of amusement melts away and he suddenly grows serious, “but it is imperative that we do this quickly.” 

You huff and adjust your position, swinging your head up to look at the man in curiosity, “Why’s that?” 

Anders’ face is darkened with a grim frown, and he peers down at the papers on his laps, “You said that those buddies of yours were going to kill Tom, right?” 

“Yes…” Your uncertain tone has you fidgeting with your wand habitually, eyes flickering between the window of the room and the man in front of you. 

“Well he’s puppeting the inferis with his magic, so they’ll undoubtedly be reduced to husks once he’s gone. So we need to hurry,” Anders elucidates, mouth set into a firm line as he delved deeper into his thoughts. 

Putting a hand up, you blink owlishly at the man, “This is too much information. So, not only are inferis still housing their original souls – but you’re saying that it's Voldemort’s magic that’s tying these souls down to the land of the living?” 

You didn’t know whether you wanted to curse the detestable man into oblivion or begrudgingly allow yourself to be grateful that his existence meant Regulus’ soul was still with you. 

Well, he was chaining down hundreds of souls for his own selfish desires – so you were leaning towards wanting to stick your hand through his head. 

“Only the inferis of his own creation, but yes, in theory.” The man looks mildly impressed at your quick thinking. 

“Would it be a bad idea to owl Harry and ask him to raincheck on his plans to eviscerate the Dark Lord?” You draw a hand to rub at your forehead, a newfound migraine blooming from the back of your neck and straining across your occiput. 

Anders gives you an unimpressed eyebrow raise before waving his hand towards the abandoned quarter-circle behind you, “A terrible idea. Now, let’s continue.” 

You finish drawing the ritual circle an hour after sunset. 

Your hand was shaking uncontrollably, jerking with every cramp that tugged at your muscles. You had begun sweating at one point, causing Anders to limp over and slide both of the windows open. The cool air bristled through the room and circled around all the loose papers, the sounds of rustling and quiet cruising from the older man flowing around the atmosphere. 

As you step back to survey your hard work, you can’t help the smile that plays at your lips: the intricacies of the circle was alluring, practically glowing under the yellow light fixtures above you. The wind began to whistle, and Anders took that as a cue to interrupt your little reprieve, “Looks decent enough.” 

“Decent? Have you gone senile since the last time we chatted? This bloody thing is the embodiment of perfection!” You cry out in incredulity, pondering all the ways you could attach the nifty piece of work to your academic portfolio.

Anders rolls his eyes and organizes his papers, “Yes, yes, you’re practically a Runes Master. Take a picture of it, why don’t ya?” 

Playfully narrowing your eyes at his back, you go to retort, but a knock at the door has you pausing just as you open your mouth. Sharing a look with Anders, you carefully move to investigate, only cracking the door open marginally in order to hide your work. 

It wouldn’t do you much good to have the neighbors thinking you were summoning something. 

“Luna?” Your squawk of surprise only causes the girl to smile, eyes darting over your head as her gaze seems to fade in and out of fixation. 

Bouncing on her heels, she reaches into her pocket, “So, you’re done?” 

“Yeah, I finished drawing up the circle. I think the old man wants to perform the actual ritual tonight though, so I won’t see you until tomorrow.” You exhale tiredly and murmur to yourself, “If I wake up, that is.” 

Luna nods quickly and pulls out a few items from her coat, “I see. Well, I’ve brought some things. I was told that you were in need of this as well by the Humdingers” In her outstretched hands, you see a couple of wrapped sandwiches and a small camera. 

“What?” You gape and slowly reach forwards, “Where did you get a camera from, little moon?” 

The girl smiles brightly and fiddles with her coat buttons, “I asked Asger.” You nod in appreciation and smile at the girl, waving with your full hands as she gracefully skips away towards the house. 

You retreat back into the room and brandish the camera at the expectant man with a victorious smirk, “I have great friends.” 

Anders grunts and reaches for one of the sandwiches, “That’s my camera, kid.” 

You examine the device with your oh so supple fingers, and ignore the urge to stick your tongue out at him, your sensibility winning out for once. As you both eat in silence, your eyes run over the respectable pile of papers in front of Anders, realizing that the man was absolutely serious about publishing your findings. 

“What have you got so far?” You nod towards his papers. 

His eyes quickly flicker beside him, “Magical essences and the imbuing work your boy did, and now I’m drafting up some pages about inferis and their souls.” 

You hum quietly and dust off your hands as you finish the last scraps of your food, feeling more vigilant as your aching stomach settles. The camera was smaller than the jarring flash bulb that Rita Skeeter always had around, and if anything, seemed way more practical. 

It was a bit blocky and had a round lens in the center with a small depression that you could only assume was for the flash. The bottom of the camera had a small rectangular slit — an output. 

“Polaroid 600. Film is as expensive as it gets, so don’t you go and waste it.” Anders’ quietly mumbles as he gets up from his spot, hands reaching for the camera. As he fiddles around with it for a few moments, the top suddenly seems to prop up and he hands it back to you with a satisfied nod, “Think you know how to operate a camera?” 

“I’m not a dunce, thank you very much.” Your riposte causes him to roll his eyes as he gestures for you to move towards the circle. Despite your initial indignance, it took you a few moments of consideration and blind thumbing until you were confident enough to snap the photo. As you (luckily) manage to get a good shot, you conceal your surprise as the photo immediately begins to peek out of the bottom slit, slowly being spat out. 

How convenient.

You nimbly pull the photo out once it seems to stop sputtering, and hand the camera over to Anders before peering at the developing square film. Slowly, you watch as the outlines of the ritual circle bloom into visibility. 

You take a couple more moments to run your eyes over the photo before placing it in Anders’ awaiting palm. The man hobbles over to his table and clips the photo to one of the pages, placing the camera on the stack of papers afterwards. 

“Okay, now put your boy’s photo in the center—next to the Uruz symbol.” 

You wordlessly comply with Anders’ words, and slowly tiptoe out of the circle, eyes never straying from Regulus’ face. The man moves to the opposite side of the circle, and pats at the air, gesturing for you to sit down. 

Watching from your position on the floor, Anders begins to chant evenly, eyes closed as you feel him begin to gather his magic to pool across the symbols. The faint steely nature of his magical signature washes over you, and you clasp your hands together in your lap as you feel an immense pressure begin to weigh on the room. Regulus’ photo gives a faint jolt, then another, and then another, until the whole paper begins to vibrate. 

You watch in awe as the photo slowly rises into the air, the Uruz symbol glowing brightly with a faint red hue. In the blink of an eye, the photo jerks sideways and falls onto the Hic symbol to your left just as Anders’ chanting ceases. 

“Hic? Here? What does it mean, here?” Your questions seem to spill out uncontrollably, and you see the older man give the photo a look of consideration. 

“I’m not quite sure. Usually, souls still in the realm of the living are classified as Vivus,” Anders mutters, hand coming up to rub at his chin, “Kid, is that ring of yours imbued with his magic?” 

You nod and reach for your ring, fingers running over the two snakes that you’ve grown accustomed to. Anders sighs before slapping his hand over his entire face, dragging it down as he seems to wage an internal war with himself. 

“You said your boy was in a cave?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, and nod slowly, “Yes…and so are hundreds of other inferis, why?” 

The man meets you gaze with a determined look as you slowly stand up, hands fiddling with your ring. 

“Well, let’s go fetch your boy.” 

The journey back to the cave was bittersweet, and you almost lost your footing as you apparated to the very spot you had before, except this time with a rather grumpy presence by your side. Water batted against the rock you were rooted to, droplets of water flying into your face periodically. You could barely make out the view in front of you as the moon faintly illuminated the waves.

As you apparate with Anders to the shore, you feel a lump grow in your throat. Your heart was beating violently against your chest, and a cold sweat started to break through the surface of your skin. 

The muted crunching of sand and rocks under your shoes grounded you to reality as the void of the cave engulfed you, washing away the sea of stars that had been beaming at you from above.

“Lumos.” 

As you extended your wand in front of you, you had half the mind to be cautious of potential bloodthirsty death eaters or one psychotic dark lord, realizing that perhaps the certifiable man would be on the upkeep for his horcruxes. 

Soon, you both reached the rounded end of the cave, and Anders shoots you an unimpressed look. Holding a hand up at him, you extinguish your lumos and bring your wand to your palm, “Secare.”

Dragging the tip of your wand against your palm, the spell slowly cuts your skin enough to draw blood. Satisfied with your work, you swipe your bloodied cut against the damp rocks behind you. 

“Lumos.” 

The wall of charcoal stone crumbles away like you remembered, and you’re immediately met with a wave of faint heat. 

Remnants of your fire storm from last time?

“Bloody hell,” Anders croaks from behind you, eyes glimmering at the sight of the sumptuous crystal clusters. The milky geodes sent a shiver down your spine as you started to draw a resemblance between their geometric planes and the cloudy skin of the inferis. 

Making your way through the dark ventricle of minerals, you slowly emerge into the belly of the cave, the familiar void of water just meters away from you. 

“We’re here. They’re in there,” your voice falls into a whisper, “he’s in there.”

Anders steps out from behind you and pulls out his own wand, the worn ashen wood barely visible in the light of your lumos. Tilting his head towards you, he looks at you with a solemn gaze before asking, “His full name?” 

“Regulus Arcturus Black.” 

Nodding, the man turns towards the lake and moves his wand counterclockwise, “Prodire Regulus Arcturus Black.” 

Nothing happens for a few seconds, until abruptly — something breaks through the surface of the water and flies towards your awaiting figures, stilling to a stop in front of Anders as if colliding with an invisible wall. Your hand swings to cover your mouth as your eyes trail along the spindly creature: its body was slack in the air, arms stiff like milky needles, chest unnaturally thin with a protruding rib cage that threatened to burst through bruised skin, and a rawboned face veiled by the darkness. 

This thing was Regulus?

You felt your world begin to tip and spin, eyes burning then blurring rapidly. Shivers wracked through your chest as sobs seemed to well in your throat. Closing your eyes, you try to steady your breathing, but the flashing image of Regulus’ face and then the sight of the horrid creature infiltrate your head. 

It feels as though a millennia of your discombobulation passes by before you feel a firm grip on your shoulder, the gesture helping to keep you upright on your feet. 

“Come on, kid,” Anders’ face comes into view and you see his eyes soften uncharacteristically, his mouth set into a hard frown. Your eyes stray to the side and you see that the man had summoned a cloth to cover the inferi during your small episode, the lumpy bundle now floating in the air nearby. 

Nodding quickly, you swallow harshly before spinning around, “Right. Sorry.” Your whisper is met with a comforting silence, and you appreciated more than ever, Anders’ ability to know when words weren’t needed. 

As you both stiffly trek back through the cave, you begin to feel a weight of foreboding blanket your body. Picking up the pace, you step out of the mouth of the cave with sweaty hands, eyes darting around wildly. 

“Hurry,” your choked whisper confuses the older man, but he abides nonetheless. As you grab his forearm and hesitantly grab a part of the covered inferi, you hear a faint warping echo from off to the side. 

Gasping quietly into the chilly air, you barely catch a glimpse of the familiar figure before you’re tugged away by the distortion of apparition. You can barely breathe as your heart seems to stutter uncontrollably. 

You land back inside the research room with Anders and Regulus’ inferi, not even noticing how cramped the space now was as you tried to quell your panic. 

“Kid? What’s wrong?” Anders floats the clothed figure down into the center of the circle as you buckle to the ground, blood flushing cold. 

“Voldemort. He was there.” You gasp out. 

The man jolts to a paralyzed freeze as his eyes widen comically, his heart no doubt beginning to race as fast as yours. You shake your head jerkily and wave your hand aimlessly, “He didn’t see you. Or well, you were covered by the cloth, but he definitely noticed me.” 

The dryness of your mouth was beginning to prickle and itch, your skin suddenly feeling too tight on your body. You were sure he recognized you, after all, he was always in Harry’s head. 

“Then we just have to hurry a bit.” Anders' steady words have you snapping your attention over to him, confused as to why he was so calm now. Seeing your distraught gaze, he sighs, “He won’t come for you for now, I’m sure he is focused on your other friends. Besides, even if he were, he has no idea where to even look.” 

Nodding with an unconvinced frown, you feel your fear melt away into a stony resolve, eyes flickering over to look at the figure laying in the circle. 

“Thank you, Anders.” Your dry whisper has him cracking a small smile. 

“Thank me when your boy is back up and running.” 

You were robotically drawing more rune characters, eyes unfocused as you were too entranced by your thoughts. You weren’t sure what the older man was planning as he hadn’t explained to you what this additional ritual entailed, but you were determined to make it work. 

As you complete the last etching, head rising up to look at the concentrated man, he finally breaks the tense atmosphere, “I don’t know if it’ll work, but the combination of his soul and your ring might just do the trick.”

Tilting your head to the side, you try not to sound too hopeful, “So, he’ll be completely recovered if it works?” 

“Not completely, he’ll need time to rejuvenate his magical core. This would be unprecedented, kid. I don’t have all the answers, and I can’t promise that it will work, but I am going to do my best.” His eyes are unwavering, back straightened with coiled tension. 

You nod hastily, knowing that you were both pretty much running on wishes. As Anders double checks your rune work, you slowly slip your ring off your finger, cringing as the cold air brushes against your naked finger. 

You hadn’t ever taken it off before. 

Placing the cool band next to the covered figure, you step out of the circle and clench your hands. Anders nods in confirmation before stepping out as well, slowly hobbling over to stand on the opposite side of the circle. 

“Let your magic funnel out into the circle as well. You won’t need to chant.” Anders' brief words have you nodding, and you slowly shuffle from leg to leg, fatigue starting to seep into your veins. 

The chanting begins soon after, and you allow the metaphorical valves of your magical core to open, feeling the coolness of your magic sweeping to tangle with Anders’ metallic magic. Both of your magical signatures dance around the circle and collect in the center, flexing together above the figure. The entire rune circle seems to radiate in shades of reds and stormy greys before blazing into an endless black.  

Suddenly, you feel magic seep from the clothed figure — a deep, harrowing magic that roused with a small rumble before erupting into a suffocating cloud that could only be described as numbing. 

It was nothing like Regulus’ magic, which meant that this corrupted energy belonged to Voldemort. You grit your teeth as you flush out more of your magic to try and drive away Voldemort’s lingering signature, the psychopath’s magic seeming to screech violently at your attempt. 

The prolonged battle with the stifling magic finally ends as the dark cloud is ripped away from you, pulled in all directions towards the additional runes you drew, the characters radiating in almost a blinding way before ripping apart the corrupted magic. 

The once dark circle stews into a cool grey before disintegrating into a pale green, the light beating melodically. You watch in wonderment as the magic in the ring bubbles into your magic, intertwining with yours before slowly clutching at Anders’ as well. Your potent whirl of combined magic slowly descends towards the clothed figure, causing it to jerk wildly. 

The cloth shuffles with the movements and you see it begin to pull upwards as if the inferi was arching towards your magic. Suddenly, the strings of magic slam into the clothed figure, sending shockwaves throughout the room. 

As you hear a few books tumble to the ground at the energy, the figure twitches once more before falling still again. Anders continues to chant for a few more moments as the circle flares into a blinding white light before it, too, simmered into nothingness. 

You nearly topple over in exhaustion as the energy draws back into your body, the synergies of magic in the room evaporating almost instantaneously. Anders wipes his forehead with his sleeve, and shakily stumbles over to his table for stability. 

“Did it work?” Your voice is crackly as a sharp, sticky pain climbs up your neck. 

The man huffs and glances at you before slowly making his way towards the figure, grunting as he tries to crouch down. He tugs the cloth upward and peers inside, expression unreadable. 

“Well?” 

Anders looks up at you, eyebrows drawn, “I have a lot more to write about.” 

Leaping forward at his words, you rip away the cloth slightly to expose the figure’s head, and you nearly pass out on the spot. 

“It worked. It worked. It worked.” Your quiet chants spurs on a wave of tears as you slowly run your fingers over Regulus’ face. The boy looked picturesque in his sleeping state, face no longer emaciated and bruised, but now mirroring his appearance from when he was just a portrait in your pocket. 

You brush his curls aside and resist the urge to just keel over and fall asleep on him, your magical exhaustion echoing through your bones. 

“Do you have something else on you that’s imbued with his magic?” Anders’ quiet words have you snapping out of your euphoric state, eyes drawn up in confusion. Seeing your perplexity, he clarifies, “He might not remember you, this ritual simply revitalized him and unchained his soul. He might only remember the events before his death.” 

You pause at the revelation and sit up straighter, hands dropping to your sides. Gaping for a few moments, your mind whirs as you try and grasp for the right words, “Uh, wait, yes. I have these.” Your hands fish into your pockets and you pull out the tattered pieces of the golden portrait frame, outstretching them for the man to see. 

“His portrait frame?” Anders’ eyebrows shoot up in stupefaction. 

Nodding, you slowly drop the pieces into his rough palm, “It doesn’t matter.” The man frowns, puzzled, so you continue, “As long as he’s okay, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t remember me.” 

Straightening up from his position, he stares at the pieces of wood in his hand, “He just might remember… if these are truly imbued with his magic.” Looking up, you see skepticism flicker in his eyes, “Are you too beat for another ritual?” 

“You should be asking yourself that, old man.”

You don’t remember much that happens afterwards. 

As you crack your eyes open, lingering fatigue weighing on your eyelids, you are keenly aware of a hand running across your shoulders. 

“Reg?” Your voice comes out as a strained whisper. 

A familiar face pops into your line of sight, “He’s okay, just resting upstairs.” Luna’s smile warms your chest, and you resist the urge to turn over and bury yourself into the warmth of her arms. 

Your body was incredibly sore from the activities of the previous day, and you were sure that your magical core was rolling about, emptily inside of you. The longer you laid, the more groggy you grew as the air started to warm against your skin. 

Gently pushing up from the mattress underneath you, you run a hand down your place as Luna shifts to stand up. The girl helps you shuffle upstairs and towards the bathroom, quietly insisting that you wash up as she prepares tea for you. 

Sluggishly washing up, you take a moment to peer into the cloudy mirror, raising an eyebrow at the sight of heavy bags under your eyes. Your shoulders sagged from exhaustion, and the sound of your grumbling stomach prompted you to make your way towards the kitchen. 

As you slowly trudged into the room, eyes squinting from the beams of sunlight that flitted through the window, you see Asger approach you with a plate in hand. 

“Good afternoon. Dad’s in his research shed right now.” The man extends the plate to you, and your mouth waters at the sight of the hearty lunch. You nod in thanks and drop down onto an awaiting chair, gaze straying towards one of the closed doors down the hall. 

Asger, seeing your restless ministrations, chuckles before answering your unvoiced question, “He’s in there. Hasn’t awakened yet, but Dad said it’s only a matter of time. He's recovering quite fast.” 

Right, your rituals worked. Both of them. It was starting to come back now, and you could feel the weight of the frame pieces and your ring in your pocket, both now depleted of Regulus’ magic. 

Scarfing down your meal, and ignoring Asger’s cringe, you start to mentally debate on whether you should visit Anders first, or Regulus. Luna places a mug in front of you, and plops down into the seat next to yours, fingers fiddling with a few strings of yarn. 

Regulus won out, of course. 

As you dismiss yourself with endless words of gratitude to your two friends, you slowly make your way into the room Regulus was resting in. You cross through the threshold, mug in hand, and immediately surrender yourself to the comforting wave of magic that envelops you. 

The warm magic — Regulus’ magic, brings tears to your eyes, and you have to take a few moments to compose yourself. The aching hollowness in your heart, the one you had grown accustomed to in the following months after the destruction of his portrait, seems to sing with inklings of joy. 

You were still in a state of disbelief, mind reeling from the fact that you not only discovered uncharted branches of magic, but also that you got Regulus back. No, not only you — Sirius was going to get Regulus back, too. 

The boy in question was laid on a makeshift bed, covered by a fleece blanket. Anders took up the great responsibility of clothing him after your flustered realization that he was nude, the man murmuring tidbits about how he did the same for Asger when the younger man fractured his hip years ago. 

You walk over and sit down by his side, brushing your hand over his hair. 

Things would change now. They would be better. 

You spend a long while just sitting by the boy’s side, mind still unconvinced that he wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. 

After a long thread of thoughts that devolved into heart wrenching what if’s, you decide to pay a visit to Anders, immensely grateful for his help and wisdom. The sunny skies slowly dimmed as clouds drifted by, the air chilling to sooth the faint migraine that still sunk its claws into your head. 

As you make your way into the research room, you can’t mask the smile that stretches across your lips. Anders was hunched over his table, hand moving furiously across a sea of pages as he tried to document every droplet of theory and fact on the papers. Not wanting to interrupt the man’s train of thought, you linger by the doorway before slowly teetering towards a fallen stack of books. 

You organize the endless towers of tomes for a few minutes before Anders takes note of your presence as he goes to stretch his back. 

“Finally awake?” His voice is light, and you could see the remnants of engrossment creeping in his eyes. He truly did have a passion for this branch of research.  

You nod and grin brightly at the man, “Sure am. Now, are you going to accept my thank you?” 

Anders grunts and waves you off with an amused eye roll — the closest thing to a “you’re welcome” in his language, and turns back to his papers, “Anyway, another owl came for you this morning. The letter should be on your stool.” 

As the man resumes his writing, you peer around to try and find the envelope, clicking your tongue when you find the paper beaming at you from across the room. 

Dear Padfoot’s pup, 

We hope you are well. At first, we weren’t going to accept the offer, but some unexpected events happened that forced us away. We are safe now with the frightening widow. We’ve gotten two more, but now the Goblins hate us. 

Stay safe. We are going to remain here until we are forced to confront the darkness. Unfortunately, we fear that it will be soon. 

We miss you. Padfoot keeps whining, we think he misses you most. 

-Prongslet and co. 

You laugh lightly at the contents of the letter, and you fold the paper back up. Good to know that Harry and the others were safe with the Contessa at the very least. As you stuff the paper back in the envelope, you see another folded paper sidled against the wall of the envelope. 

Hello lost friend of mine, 

A certain dragon of ours is growing restless, we fear that his blood father is in trouble with a certain man. The Carrows are a nightmare, and it appears that many students are disappearing with every passing day. Theodore keeps shooting down my (entirely plausible) theory that those twin professors of ours are hiding their bodies in a dark closet somewhere. 

I’ve received a letter from my mother informing me of the rearrangements at home, and I must say, it was quite a surprise. I haven’t heard back from you since you’ve departed, and I almost thought you were dead for a while. Glad to hear that you aren’t. 

Theodore says hi, and he wants to know all the research you’ve done. Our dragon also says hi and that he hopes you received his last letter. 

I hope to hear from you soon. 

(Reply to me.)

-B

“Was it a tawny owl?” Your question rings out into the quiet atmosphere, drawing Anders out of his work. 

The man gives you a grunt of confirmation and you nod in satisfaction. It would appear that Harry is corresponding to you via Contessa Zabini, the woman no doubt telling Blaise to forward the letter to you along with his. 

Merlin, what a strange web of dynamics.

As you tuck away the papers into your pockets, a knock has you spinning on your heel in curiosity. Anders barely even looks up from his work as you make your way to the door, a wave of deja vu slamming into you. 

Opening the door, you see Luna smiling brightly at you, similar to her airy demeanor from the night before.

Before you can get a word out, the girl quickly supplies you with news that has air fleeing from your lungs, “He’s awake.” 

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[0.8k] tangled lights, glass ornaments and christmas memories in the making as you spend the holiday with the marauders.

.

“Sirius, put the tinsel down!” 

“But it looks good on me, love.” 

“Yeah, and I am sure it will look so pretty when I strangle you with it.” 

“Ouch, so testy for the festive season.”

A snort could be heard from somewhere behind you both.

The marauders were undoubtedly a handful to deal with, and you had known that for many, many years. From your first year when a wild curled James settled into the seat next to you, thrusting his hand out to you and slipping his name in between his rambles with Sirius and Remus quickly settling on the other side of you—to now, where the lot of you stood in the Potter Manor living room with boxes of decorations and one job given by Euphemia Potter to have the tree decorated before she returned. 

As it would turn out, decorating the tree with three overgrown children was much more difficult than you had convinced yourself it would be. 

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i dont know if you write angst stuff but i have a request for howl pendragon x dead past lover reader

so imagine this set post ending and sophie just cleaning the "castle" as for usual, while cleaning howl's room she saw a picture of a man/woman/person lovingly hidden away and on the back it says "my starlight" in howl's handwriting then she asks howl about it and howl shares how long before sophie came, this person was the one who accompanies him and practically helped him raised his apprentice, his starlight, his first love that died for some reason (maybe protecting him for extra angst?)

ur choice on how sophie reacts to knowing that even tho theyre together now and there was no doubt that howl loves him, its obvious that his heart still belongs to this person

also lemme formally introduce myself, my name is ilyushka or ilya for short and i hope u dont mind me becoming a regular now because you and your blog is literally my comfort place now

- Ilyushka -

— signed, your beloved Howl

💭summary; it's... pretty much all up there ^^^ they did all the hard work, i'm just typing it out-

💭character(s); Howl Pendragon, Sophie Hatter, Michael (mentioned)

💭warnings; angst, mentions of loved-one's death, pseudo unrequited love, gender neutral reader!

—notes; hello, darling Ilya! it's lovely to meet you! I am truly in love with this request and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! this was so original and so very pretty! i was also listening to this to help channel the angst: [song] hope it worked! i also hope that my blog stays a comfort place for you, pretty!

Sophie moved with the pitter-patter of the rain, allowing it to guide her rhythm as she moved throughout the castle, weaving in and out of room and hall as she cleaned. Perhaps it was due to the fact that she often found the sound of rain to serve as a source of white noise, but Sophie's usually vigorous, precise movements were languid and almost lethargic as she swept and beat dust from the many mismatched rugs that covered the castle's floors.

Even as Sophie moved into the bedroom that she now shared with the infamous wizard Howl, her heavy eyes were drawn to the sight of her bed, wide and soft, practically calling out to her to lie down for just a moment.

After several moments of arguing with herself, reminding herself that she'd never finish in time if she were to lay down now, she decided to give into the urge to rest upon the embroidered down pillows that Howl saved just for her.

Even as her fiery red hair broke free of its usual braid, having been tossled about from hours of tedious cleaning and washing from this morning, Sophie swept the braid to her back before laying down. She groaned softly as she felt her muscles relax, allowing her to melt into the embrace of the bed she now knew so well. A small smile found purchase upon her lips as she was reminded of Howl's musk, finding that their sheets still maintained his signature scent of fresh air, fire wood, and various flower-based perfumes he still fuddled with to this day.

Before she even realized it, the sound of the rain against the flimsy panes of glass that resided on the wall beside her had lulled her to sleep, allowing the house to fill with a gentle kind of quietness that dared not be broken by even the smallest of mice.

Sophie dreamed of many things: of her life back home, of her dear sisters, and of Vanny's gentle eyes, and of course, of her Howl. Yet, this time, she dreamed only of the gentle side of him that he desired to keep private. As if the well-tempered, tame side of himself were only meant to be shared between him and his beloved. That the moments in which he looked at her with such love filled eyes that her anger toward him was forfeit, and in which he brushed her hair behind her ear so gently it was as if he feared she would break, were all meant for her to see, and only her.

She awoke feeling more love for her husband than she had felt for a while, and the strong desire for him to return home accompanied it. Even as she rolled onto her opposite side, her eyes still shut tight, she wished to feel his warmth against her as she turned. However, upon opening her eyes, she found that she would have to wait even longer before she could see her husband's irritably handsome face once again.

Sophie rose to her feet, her eyes still filled with sleep as she carefully felt her way along the cluttered nightstand that resided on Howl's side of the bed. Instead of finding purchase on the smooth, cool varnish of the wood, her palm was met only with various gems and stones and things, most probably filled with some type of forgotten magic, and knickknacks of wood and metal that resembled either a person or place upon its surface. However, buried amongst them was an item that Sophie had yet to see. Her curious hands moved to where her eyes resided, and found a picture frame of silver lying face down beneath the clutter of the rest of the many things Howl certainly needed to sort through tonight.

As she turned the frame over within her light grasp, she felt her lips part as an involuntary gasp barely passed between them. Within the frame was an image of the most beautiful being that Sophie had ever seen. It was difficult to tell their finer details apart from the faded background they rested upon, as the image seemed to be covered in a black sort of grime that only stained her fingers the more Sophie dared to wipe it off, but she could tell that they were certainly no average looking person like her.

Their eyes seemed to shine through the black smear upon the canvas, and their color was as brilliant as the life that seemed to pour from their figure. Even though she only held a picture frame within her hands, Sophie felt as if she were in the presence of a very important being, but one that seemed as gentle and as kind as the summer breeze itself. Her heart seemed lighter the longer she stared, only for another, much heavier feeling to take its place as she was able to make out handwriting hidden well within the corner of the image, almost covered entirely by the edge of the frame and the black grime.

Sophie made her way to the nearest windowsill and allowed for the few remaining golden rays of sunlight to shine upon the corner of the picture. Her lips moved as her eyes made out the words upon the image, but her voice remained silent all the same.

"My starlight. Signed, your beloved Howl"

Sophie's eyes rose to take in the sinking sun before her as her mind raced. Who was this wonderous being, and why did Howl seem to care for them so? Was there someone she did not know about or...

No, that couldn't be the case, she assured herself. By the looks of the quality of the image, it had been very poorly taken care of for quite a long time. Still, Sophie would have to ask him when he returned.

So, Sophie situated herself by the fireplace, contemplating just how she would bring this up during dinner tonight, or even if she should. But in her mind, if she were to continue being Howl's wife and he her husband, then there should be no secrets between the two of them. So although her heart still felt unsatisfied by the many excuses and faux answers that she came up with to soothe herself in the mean time, she found herself once again patching the holes in one of Howl's suits.

And that was just how he found her when he arrived home, working the needle on one of his newest jackets, mumbling to herself about something he decided he wouldn't even bother making out himself. He was tired, and all that he wanted now that he was home was to simply lie in the arms of his beloved wife, and let her scold him about how late he had returned once again as he fell asleep in her embrace.

Yet, Sophie seemed to have other plans.

"Who is this?" Sophie asked, obviously trying to hide the hint of impatience that carried within her tone, but failing nonetheless. Still Howl decided to play along, letting Sophie place an oddly familiar piece of silver into his hands.

He froze for a few good moments as he realized what had been handed to him. His starlight. The face of his starlight was staring back at him with eyes that he nearly managed to forget that he missed. Seemingly alive, seemingly... there again. This silent exchange between Howl and the image did not at all go unnoticed by Sophie, and she couldn't help the bit of jealousy that bubbled up from her chest and onto her tongue as she once again asked Howl about the person trapped within the frame.

"They’re..." Howl began, trying but failing miserably to find the right words to explain just who this person was, and how they had remained just out of reach for so long.

Finally, after his eyes grew less dull and his tongue less dry, Howl gave in.

"Sophie, my love," he began, his tone far softer and much quieter than Sophie had ever remembered hearing before, even when he spoke to Michael.

"This is... someone I once knew long ago. They were... much like what you are to me now, but from what seems to be another life."

A gentle but sad smile tilted the corners of Howl's lips, and Sophie immediately began to wonder if her jealousy was rightly placed with anger, or if she should have simply let this go.

"A very long time ago, I've even forgotten just how long..." Howl laughed to himself, but it did not take a fool to see that there was no joy in his doing so.

"I met them. This... beautiful, powerful, magical being... they were perfect in every way, and I wanted to be just like them."

Sophie couldn't deny the sting that she felt at his words, but she also could not deny that she had not seen such a look in Howl's eyes as long as she had known him.

That was the night that Sophie learned of the place you held within Howl's heart. Of the times that he had spent wooing you with far more than just his guitar. How he had used nothing more than his words and honest attempts to pursue you as his only methods of gathering your attention. How, once he finally was able to call you his, you agreed to teach him all that you knew, only to later on assist him with his pupil.

How Michael had been your favorite with how sweet and innocent he was at the time. With how gentle you were with children and how kindly you treated Howl and his insecure heart. Sophie saw that you even now held Howl in your hands, and you had not a clue.

Or perhaps you did. But, she would never be able to ask, as she found that you had died rather long ago. Even in such a valiant attempt to save his life, Sophie could see the hurt and anguish held within the tears that threated to fall from Howl's eyes before they soon cascaded endlessly down his cheeks. Nonetheless, he continued to speak as if this were a story he would only ever tell once, and that if Sophie so much as breathed too loud to hear, then that would be a piece that she would miss for eternity.

Sophie's stubborn heart swooned as Howl spoke of how his encounters with the very witch that had cursed her had lead to your demise. That a bought of jealousy from the witch had caused her to hunt you endlessly, somehow always finding you wherever you and Howl had hidden away, and all at the expense of Howl's meaningless flirting before a time where he had even known you.

And despite learning how much of a beautiful person you were, and how you were certainly a person that Howl not only love, but deeply admired, Sophie couldn't help but feel a deep seeded pit of resentment build within her chest for you, just at the way Howl's eyes slowly moved across your figure within the frame, as if you were a treasure he would only be able to remember if he looked upon you.

Sophie couldn't help but despise you, despite how wonderful you seemed. She wished she could love you just as he did, but she now knew that you had a hold on Howl's heart that she would never be able to obtain, and for that reason alone, she would hate you.

After that night, Sophie did her best to steer clear of the bedroom for a while. Even going so far as to skip it completely during her usual cleaning rounds. But, she knew that this couldn't last forever. Despite how many times she tried to get Howl to sleep with her by the hearth or to keep her and Michael company for the night, she was always somehow pulled back into that room with him. And even with Howl at her side, she felt colder now than ever.

How was she meant to sleep in the arms of the man that she loved when his heart still belonged to another?

She could feel it in every bouquet of flowers he brought to her, in every smile he showed only to her, in every kiss he offered and gratefully received, she couldn't help but think that he did it all for you...

But for once, she never said a word to Howl about it. She didn't want to hear him call her the "only one for him" or his "one and only" because she was afraid that, as ignorant as it was that the thought alone brought tears to her eyes, she felt that if those words did not lift the heaviness of her heart, then nothing else ever could.

She had to accept that her husband still loved you. Someone that he couldn't leave her for, although she sometimes wished that he could. Someone she could never come home to find him alone with, and someone that could never write him forbidden proclamations of love within letters that she'd find hidden beneath his pillow, because you were gone. Far, far away in a place that neither of them could ever find you. And yet, Sophie still believed for just a moment that you were somehow warmer than she now felt.

But alas, Sophie's aching heart started to feel less alone. With each press of Howl's lips against her own, she could feel her heart beginning to race again as it once did. She could feel it in the way he would press her frame entirely against his in a tight, warm embrace before heading out. She could see it in the smile that once again seemed to reach his eyes before it appeared on his lips as he stared at her. Even in the sharp words that he would throw at her whenever one of them decided to be more stubborn than the other and cause yet another fight to occupy the shortening distance between them.

She knew that her husband still loved her, and that no matter what had happened in the past, he chose her now and he would do so a million more times in a million more lives.

And that was how she regained the courage to set foot into her bedroom once more to clean. And only to clean, as she told herself. But with each stroke of the bristles of the broom against the floor boards, and with each step she took upon the floor that caused the aging beams to cry and moan, she couldn't shake the feeling of eyes upon her.

It felt as if your ghost was with her, watching her from just out of reach. Except, the twisting in her gut came only from the fact that this was not a harmful creature, but rather one of gentile silence that only came to wish her well. And that somehow only made her feel worse.

So with fire in her heart and impatience upon her tongue, Sophie turned around, her fiery red braid swinging behind her as she fully intended to curse, shout, and scream at that ridiculously intrusive face behind the glass, only for her throat to go dry as her eyes meet with yours.

Her anger and those pesky feelings of insecurity slowly began to melt away as she stared into the frame, her angry eyes melding with your honest ones and finding nothing but peace and... love. Love not just for Howl, but anyone else who was lucky to see them.

She found that she could not hate you. She did not blame Howl for loving you the first time she heard of you, and she still could not bring herself to do so now. Not after knowing of the kind of person you were. Not after seeing your face.

So instead of fighting as she always did. Instead of always needing to be right, and to be seen and respected, Sophie decided she would instead do you a favor.

She picked up her broom, shut her eyes tight, and turned toward the door before the right words arose to her throat.

"I promise to look after him for you," was all that she said before returning to her sweeping.

A short promise, but an unbreakable one nonetheless.