Neyso - Ney

yeah

"My favorite trope is enemies to lovers. is it? or do you think that someone is only capable of loving you after getting over their initial disgust of all your flaws?"

I never felt more attacked in my life.

In my dream my beloved friend looked at me with these eyes. I never loved you eyes. What did you say about me eyes. Don’t call me Odasaku eyes. God bless im not into that shit anymore. If someone prefer to play drama rather than talk as adults I don’t give a shit. It still hurts though

Dazai is cruel. Dazai is abusive. In some way Dazai haven't changed and won't change. Dazai is manipulative. Dazai is dangerous. Many of Dazai's actions are disgusting. His actions could be perceived as inhumane. But Dazai is a human being.

It's always about being human. In your own eyes. In the eyes of others.

Dazai doesn't consider himself non-human because of his cruel actions. It's nothing about his morals. After all, Dazai had dealt with so many cruel people. He knows evil is human. He thinks he's lacking something. Something that makes others move forward. A purpose in life. Isn't he just lost?

Dazai's character is portrayed as infallible but it's not truth. To make mistakes is the most human thing you can think of (next to peeing in the shower). His mistake is that he can't tell he already has meaning in his life: working for ADA, protecting his friends, protecting the world.

"Anything I would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There’s nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering." – he's always ready to leave. Dazai tries not to get attached. He's always ready to lose everything. Doesn't it make him just a passive observer in his own life? From a manga reader's perspective, we know he has significance to the story but Dazai sees himself as nothing. He's able to catch the moment only when it's already a memory. Dazai may think of himself non-human because he only lives his life halfway. He plays chess – he moves the pieces but does not appear on the board.

So even if you're a genius, still you're nothing more than a sinfully stupid and cruel human being.

daily affirmations

i am the unkillable faggot

i can exist in grocery stores

i have the shittiest music taste in any room

i have a gun

21.01.2025

Did you folks know that George Orwell is NOT just a character from the secret history who disliked Julian?he was A REAL PERSON. Donna thank you sm for inventing this man imagine not having animal farm or four pages list of 11 rules how to make a perfect tea. To live would be a torture…