Got A New Penpal (theyre Plural And Trying To Figure Out The Kind Of Plural They Are Which Is P Interesting

this year was just nto the year for love for us i dont think.

we started off by getting broken up with by our longterm (four year) partner

then ghosted by our other partner

then was pulled along by a friend who almost seemed to like us

and now weve been broken up with by our year long partner

im kind of just unfeeling about it now, like ive gone through so much outside the realm of love recently and this breakup is just sort of an addition to the growing pile of things i have to eventually deal with. it does help a bit that we have so many friends that we just didnt really talk to much anymore because we didnt see the need to. we saw our future in black and white. wed get through college, get married, move in together, and grow old. i didnt see the need to have any friends included in that outside of my partner’s friends. but now im kind of realizing that that was just the black and white thinking of my autism, i still am human, i still need friends, and now that im losing several because its very likely they wont talk to me anymore now that our fiancé broke it off, i need them more than ever. and so i messaged a few of my older ones, ones that i havent talked to in months, ones that before my fiancé i thought of as my closest most reliable friends and it really cheered me up. hearing them call me bestie and go crazy as i told them whats happened, about me graduating, about me getting a job, about me going to college, and about me getting my diagnosises. and it really made me realize that if someone isnt willing to put in effort to help a relationship grow properly then i shouldnt be expected to either. i guess my fiancé was right about that part, i did put a lot of effort into our relationship and they didnt. i wish they had so we couldve avoided this mess but truly im almost glad now because i would have missed out on realizing that so many people care about me and really would hate it if i just disappeared off the earth. like all these people would miss me so dearly and thats helping me really think through so many of my issues right not. a lot of my stress related to thinking i wasnt good enough or that i wasnt trying to be what they wanted me to be is just sort of gone because these people are my people and they know me for me. these people ive started talking to again have known me for almost as long as the system was known. and im glad to see that i dont have to hide certain parts of myself or pretend to be someone else around them. -sully

{disclaimer: if my ex sees this, this isnt meant as something negative towards you, you tried your hardest and well always love you for that, im sorry it came to this and we really would love to at elast still be friends. this post is just us having the realization that we arent alone and were allowed to have friends outside of you and your friends}

i wonder if the dumbass in my comments understands that my feelings arent as hurt as their's is by other people's opinions

me? being gay? for man next to me?

correct

my favorite part of posting on here is that i get to have the anonymity of it

like on tiktok where i have 2500 followers i dont get to vent and post just little thoughts because i feel constantly seen

but here where i have like 40 smth followers and barely any of my posts get seen i have this feeling of being anonymous and just have the ability to express myself differently

The future should not be plural.

The future should accommodate for those with dissociative disorders.

The future should have further more thorough research in dissociative disorders.

The future should be more accepting of dissociative disorders.

BUT

The future should not be plural.

That means children are getting repeatedly traumatised at an impressionable age.

That means children don't have healthy coping mechanisms.

That means children AREN'T SAFE.

The future should not be plural, but it should be respectful and accepting to those who are.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64519702/chapters/165692209

trans langdon trans langdontrans langdonnnnn

HEAR ME OUT

Frank goes to rehab and comes back and slowly starts spiraling because he's actually taking the time to focus on himself and who he is and suddenly realizes that he might not actually be a he

Cue a scene of him sobbing his heart out in Abby's arms as he has the big realization

Abby's of course super supportive (I'm a big fan of queer abby) and takes Frank out shopping to find some outfits to try out to figure out their own personal style and identity

Frank still is proud to be called a dad but absolutely loves when Tanner calls them Dad in public on a more feminine day where she's wearing a skirt and very obviously looks feminine. Frank's a chaotic bastard that takes pride in being a menace in public

She obviously tells Mel first and this sets off a course of events where Mel Abby and Frank end up in a queer sapphic polycule (mel is acearo so its very qpp too)

the others in the ED learn because one of Frank's new trans friends (because duh she abby and mel are obviously going to community events) comes in due to some injury (maybe a non serious car crash or smth) and gets super confused because that is Frankie and their pronouns are she/they why are all these people calling this badass lesbian doctor a he

they have a concussion and so in a moment of confusion lets it slip and Frank just laughs and just shrugs and is like yea youre right because she loves fucking with her friends and so now the entire ED staff are like oh god have I been misgendering my friend this whole time and none of them are comfortable enough to ask until finally santos is like dude are you trans because she just does not gaf and is tired of the others all being uncomfortable

frank's just like yea have been for a while and keeps moving

robby especially is internally freaking out a bit because hes a good attending™️ and cant believe he missed this major part of his favorite resident

HEAR ME OUT

Frank goes to rehab and comes back and slowly starts spiraling because he's actually taking the time to focus on himself and who he is and suddenly realizes that he might not actually be a he

Cue a scene of him sobbing his heart out in Abby's arms as he has the big realization

Abby's of course super supportive (I'm a big fan of queer abby) and takes Frank out shopping to find some outfits to try out to figure out their own personal style and identity

Frank still is proud to be called a dad but absolutely loves when Tanner calls them Dad in public on a more feminine day where she's wearing a skirt and very obviously looks feminine. Frank's a chaotic bastard that takes pride in being a menace in public

She obviously tells Mel first and this sets off a course of events where Mel Abby and Frank end up in a queer sapphic polycule (mel is acearo so its very qpp too)

the others in the ED learn because one of Frank's new trans friends (because duh she abby and mel are obviously going to community events) comes in due to some injury (maybe a non serious car crash or smth) and gets super confused because that is Frankie and their pronouns are she/they why are all these people calling this badass lesbian doctor a he

they have a concussion and so in a moment of confusion lets it slip and Frank just laughs and just shrugs and is like yea youre right because she loves fucking with her friends and so now the entire ED staff are like oh god have I been misgendering my friend this whole time and none of them are comfortable enough to ask until finally santos is like dude are you trans because she just does not gaf and is tired of the others all being uncomfortable

frank's just like yea have been for a while and keeps moving

robby especially is internally freaking out a bit because hes a good attending™️ and cant believe he missed this major part of his favorite resident

i think youre last sentence sort of summed up how we think about being plural and thats why we struggle with the idea of it being an identity on its own instead of being something that contributes to your identities.

like being multiple parts contributes to our gender identity 100% but its not its own identity seperate from that.

it also feels like saying it is is more of a way to describe it to singlets which would make sense. but i dont really enjoy having specific words and such that put us all into smaller categories so singlets can understand. its why we avoid using specific parts language outside of some of the therapy specific words.

why tf do endos treat being a system like its an identity that you can pick and choose to label? why do they constantly push the transphobic rhetoric of using "traumascum" to refer to traumatized individuals that just dont want people to treat their symptoms like its fun?

being plural/being a system is nothing like being lgbtq+ and i really think we need to stop treating it as such

yes we are a community, but this community is one formed on the basis of being traumatized as kids, its not based on something we choose to refer to ourselves as

we need to be there to support each other but not blindly. we need to help spread information to others with the symptoms so they can receive help.

you wouldnt treat people with personality disorders the way you treat systems so why is it acceptable to treat systems this way?

would any systems be interested in system penpal exchanges? we really want a penpal again and have just thought of how fun it could be to have a place for systems to find other systems to send letters and little trinkets to

give me begrudging disgruntled older brother frank langdon where the entire ED crew goes out and abby meets the med students and just in tired mom mode decides that yes these are her responsibility now too

she starts packing lunches for frank to take with him to give out to them (doesnt pack frank a lunch ofc, he just grabs a granola bar or an apple mr "ill just grab smth at work")

she gives them all her number and frequently checks in to make sure theyre sleeping enough and getting enough food

for their birthdays she drags them all out to celebrate

and frank's just there for the ride, he cant say no to his wife so he starts checking on them too

so now he just has four little ducklings following him around asking him for snacks and asking to come over after shift to spend time with his kids