I Just Need To Say This

Put my anime watching on hold today to go see the 30th anniversary of Se7en on the big screen with my kid and bestie. It was so worth it even with the fire alarm going off in the middle of one if the best scenes. It left such a cliff hanger. 😅

After all Morgan Freeman can't make a bad film. 😎

Penis Envy...Well Comments Actually

So I have a lot of fic in my memories from LJ and I not only read the fics, but all the comments and man are there usually a lot of them. I got into writing right before the band ended so I missed out on getting that kind of love and it kind of hurts.

People were more open to the stories back before 2012 and they talked about what they liked a lot more, along with what they didn’t. They gave constructive criticism and the writer gave them cookies for it. ^0^

I think that people are more reserved in their comments now because much of the writing is about smut and porn and to find the ones with plot and relatable characters is harder now. Although I write my fair share of NC-17 scenes and stores, I do try and create plot and characters that ask you to care for them. i am trying that with a few of my stories now and leaving the NC-17 ones to the less than six chapters I think.

I am hoping that more readers will come out and be honest about what they read and what they would like to read in the future. ^-^

More Reasons to Boycott Walmart😒

My daughter and I have been boycotting Walmart since Thanksgiving when they decided to Roll Back DEI and announce it while every one was eating dinner. Naturally people were pissed and imagine that no one wanted to shop on Black Friday there. I wonder why?😈

Anyway, I've never been happy that I had to buy from Walmart cause I can't afford not to, but after that mic drop I was fully done. Now in the last few months with all the news coming out about lawsuits and screw overs, I am really happy about my decisions even if it means I pay a little more here and there. My conscience is clear.😇

Let me also preface that I do this with all companies that pull shady shit like McD, Valero, Home Dept, and Target to name a few. I pay a lot of attention to where my money goes now and who gets it. Right now I am standing with Costco and Aldi for sure. Take a moment and look up who is being bought to decide who you want to still buy from.😉

I am going to miss Adam so much, but at least he is moving to Adults React. His best though is when he wore a Black Parade shirt the whole time he was playing The Last of Us! ^-^

tHIs KId iS MY FavOUrite

Saturday Anime Line Up

My internet was being such a dick today that my anime watching was so all over the place. It's like 10/2200 where I am and i still have four more anime left to watch before I can post!😫

Okay calm down First World Problems. Anyway, today actually had some really good episodes when i could watch them so I can count that to be a positive!😁

Nazotoki wa Dinner no Ato de

How can an anime go from making me groan from over done bad jokes to making my cry and need to grab multiple tissues? Ugh, its bad enough that I can't figure out the mysteries even though the clues are really there, I sucked at Encyclopedia Brown mysteries as a kid too, but for the real culprit to be a complete piece of shit that was only thinking of himself? This is almost as mind blowing as me realizing Kaji Yuki-san is the voice of Kagayama which is practically unrecognizable since it is pitched so low!🤯

Anne Shirley

When I was in high school I had a crush on this boy and he liked black hair. I always had dark brown almost black but I hated it and kept dying it shades of red for years. He was always looking at girls with black hair so I went to dye mine black and it was a huge mistake so I really felt for Anne. The dye was like tar and it ruined my hair for a long time. That guy ended up being an abusive jerk too that I had to get away from in the end. We all make mistakes in our youth. I guess that is the moral from both me and the anime.😅

Katainaka no Ossan, Kensei ni Naru

I felt for Beryl in this one. That pain of seeing someone as a child in your eyes that has been hurt or abused and feeling helpless when you didn't cause the situation but now they don't trust anyone so they push you away. It's heartbreaking to go through but i am glad that in the end Mewi decided to at least give him a chance.😥

Kowloon Generic Romance

Wow. That was a lot to unpack. First poor Gwen. Miyuki is clearly being controlled by his dad. They had one night and then bam luggage. Now he's in Kowloon...or what we know as Kowloon. Yamae seems to be another anomaly and now that Reiko wants to leave Kudo-san lost it for a second. We are finally getting more piece to this puzzle and as to what that thing is in the sky too. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice said.🤔

Kuroshitsuji: Midori no Majo-hen

Wow, that was closest Ciel ever got other than the end of S1 to be one with Sebastian. He said 90% but we know...😏

Anyway...Ciel is back and in Hakushaku form so this village has another thing coming if they think they will be chasing out the Phantomhive household. Oh and Ciel was cute asking everyone to forget he was acting his age for the last few episodes. Like we would.😉

A-Rank Party wo Ridatsu shita Ore wa, Moto Oshiego-tachi to Meikyuu Shinbu wo Mezasu

Looks like the arc ended and now we get some comfy slice of life for a bit. I know we are going into the next dungeon with the prince but I'm not sure if that will be a full arc or not. Either way, I like the chill time before the next big adventure starts.😁

Hibi wa Sugiredo Meshi Umashi

I ended up eating late so I naturally put this one off till I did and man was I smart to! Even though it seemed pretty tame of food for most of the episode all that seafood and the barbeque on the beach? I was drooling! Imagine if those oysters were clams though! Ugh, raw clams are my fav but I stay away from them now cause with the warming of the oceans you can get really sick now sadly.😩

Man that took forever to finish. Damn wifi. It took so long that some of my anime from Sunday already came out in Japan!😕

I started writing because of another writer telling me that I should try. When I wrote my first fan fic, I received many comments and to be honest it was like a bit of an addiction. I looked forward to the e-mails that said I had a comment and watching the hits and kudos rise on my story was exciting. That was three years ago. That was when My Chemical Romance was still together.

Since then I have watched a decline in my fandom as well as the once great writers. They gave up and moved onto other fandoms like Supernatural. X-men, or new bands. Some left their work to still be enjoyed, others deleted it...which is why when I like a good fan fic, I download or copy it for my own personal enjoyment. 

I made a decision though to continue to write and to stay in my fandom predominately. i do incorporate other fandoms, like FOB and Panic!, but the main subjects alWays revolve around MCR.

Recently, I have been getting not only very few comments, but some hurtful ones that go beyond constructive criticism or I get the ones that just ask for updates right after i put one up. Also the comments that I have written to some are ignored and that never fells good. :(

It says right in my bio that I will alWays answer a comment no matter how short it is. I also love seeing kudos on fics that are kind of old too. They make me smile the most! ^-^

Thanks for putting this up! Sorry for this being so long, but I appreciate that you went through the trouble of putting it here! ^-^

Useful posts on how to write comments for fanfics - [here] & [here]

On a personal note. I’ve met wonderful people throughout fandoms and by leaving comments. I’ve made great friends, some even on comment sections, as we shared our enthusiasm for the same story. 

People who like the same ships often hold similar character traits and life experiences; they’re people who would get you. The bonds in fandoms only strengthen when people meet other people as humans - and there are fantastic humans waiting to meet you. 

Leave a comment. :)

((Methodology For Data Collected

For this, I’ve used AO3, currently the most popular fanfiction website. 

I’ve taken the first ranked story in each ship, completed, rated by kudos - since bookmarks on AO3 can be set to private so the counters don’t reflect the real numbers - to reflect the stories that had the most positive feedback in their category.

For the comments, I’ve (falsely and intentionally) assumed the numbers represented are singular comments from singular, different users (tipping the scales in favor of the commenters). For Destiel, Johnlock and Spirk I had to pick the second story by kudos, since for the first the deviation error (assuming the author haven’t replied and there aren’t discussion threads included in the comments) was far too high for the ratio to be accurate, and my initial assumption couldn’t be applied. My apologies to the authors. 

The data was collected on May 2nd , 2016.))

This will never not be relevant. 

The Happy-Sads

I was having a conversation with someone important to me a few months ago and they said something I had never heard before.

We were talking about depression. More specifically- the flash-flood of bulletproof mania, and it’s inevitable descent into lengthy, paralyzing anguish- our shared condition. 

“The Happy-Sads.” they said. “That’s what my doctor calls them”.

 I rested in the hum-quiet lapse that happens every so often on the phone. 

It seemed such a simple way to put it, but it summed it all up. I hear these little pieces all the time- I think we all do- someone says something, a turn of phrase, or a sentence fragment- and it sticks. It resonates. It becomes a short story or the subject of a comic, a song title- sometimes more.

The Happy-Sads.

It felt like something larger and smaller at the same time- it made sense of everything, boiling it down to a simple phrase- and I laid down under it’s gravity. 

I remember being a boy, and the times where everything was quiet. Those were the briefest moments, and you had to catch them like comets. Then came chaos and noise- reckless, indestructible enthusiasm. That part lasted longer than the quiet, but not nearly as long as the empty.

I think it was easier for those older than me to say I was simply shy, and I wasn’t to hear the word “introverted” until I got to high school, and I didn’t hear anyone seriously talk about “depression” until I was in college- and even then it was just something you could “will away”. No one’s son or daughter was “crazy” or a “manic-depressive”. Labels. From youth to adulthood I would bounce back and forth from “very artistic” to “quiet”.

If my depression was robbing the bank, then my anxiety was waiting in the get-away car outside, masked and armed. There would be stretches that would go on for weeks where I thought I was going to Hell. These would segue into stretches where, knowing that everyone was going to die eventually and I would lose everyone I knew, I couldn’t spend more than 2 minutes in school before going home in hysterics.  I just didn’t want to lose a single moment with people I loved- moments I could never get back.

My anxiety found different ways of manifesting itself- more subdued versions as I got older, but the back and forth, the up and down, stayed the same. You couldn’t wind a watch to it, but you could see it just over the hill, and you’d wait for it to hit.

Years of it.

Then I learned to use it, to tap into it, but I was hiding, not facing.

Being a singer in a band allowed me to tap into 2 very extreme emotions, and ones I knew very well- violent happiness and theatrical despair. This worked for me for years. And the more I could use them every night, the less I had to deal with them during the day, or night afterwards. Zeroes in a bunk, zeroes in the morning, drinking coffee, watching mile-markers. 

Zeroes. Years of them.

I then decided to deal with it.

I had another conversation, again with someone important to me, but this person was life-threateningly ill. They said to me one thing that was the most important.

 “Everything is temporary. When you’re happy- it’s temporary. Sad? Temporary. Job? Temporary. Bought a house? It’s only yours until you no longer need it. “

There were two ways to look at it- happy or sad. But everything was temporary.

In your worst moments, where you are staring into the blackest hole, the razor-lined mouth of a vicious, rabid animal- when you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough- when the worst thing inside you chooses to attack- it is temporary. Likewise, when you are in those moments of pure joy, surrounded by your loved ones, high scoring skee-ball, holding your best friends hand at a concert- it is also temporary.

And that is ok. 

It is life, and living, or the closest thing to it- but more than that there is help.

I go to therapy- my doctor and I don’t use labels, because she believes that every single person is a different case. What one person has more of, another has less of.

And in the differences, we are all the same- imbalanced, and some of us need an assist. I grew up in an era that came off the tail end of damning the notion of mental treatment, so it was a dirty phrase. Unfortunately it still is today. The labels linger, the stigma exists, and all of it keeps help further away.

This is the part where I get serious and say that if you suffer from severe depression, you should seek treatment. If no one takes you seriously- find someone that will. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t fear a single repercussion for taking my mental health seriously and in my hands. Nothing would stop me. Not a label, or a joke- nothing.

I hope you find comfort in this. I hope you know that a lot of people, including myself, battle the beast all the time, and we win. I have finally gotten myself to a place where I no longer face the extremes, but it takes work, every week- I get up, and I make sure I am at my session- even the days where I don’t want to be there. I would imagine you’d feel the same way sometimes, and that is ok. Maybe it’s even hard for you to take the first steps- and that’s ok too.

 I know you can.

Thursday Big Anime Line Up!

Out of work for another week cause i can hardly stand after my knee decided to say fuck you last Friday. I need to rest more than rest because of this so I apologize that my Thursday line up being a day late.😵

Akuyaku Reijou Tensei Oji-san

Just the usual happening this week. Nothing amazing other than what's always amazing and that for sure is our Grace!😎

Dr. STONE: SCIENCE FUTURE

Full circle this ep from ep one. It was so amazing to see what was happening in America at the same time in Japan. I know we are going to get a Tsukasa style showdown like in S2 just not needing a full season to pull it off. I mean we all know that Senku is gonna win so all bets are off on this one.🙄

Trillion Game

This was a pretty powerful ep honestly. Gaku experiencing the pain of people wanting to be near you for what you have and what they perceive you are worth rather than for who you are and what you believe in. I've dealt with that a lot in life personally and I can tell you that is never feels good even if you try and fool yourself.😓

Arafou Otoko no Isekai Tsuuhan Seikatsu

So I watched Winter 2025 Anime in a Nutshell by Gigguk and when he got to the isekai part as usual he was all jokes but I do love that with this anime he admits that our man gets some cheeks constantly and this weeks ep once again proved that.😆

Momentary Lily

Okay! Along with an amazing battle scene we got some great back story that honestly makes me slightly hopeful for the tragedy that happened ep 2 may not be the tragedy we think it was but we still have a few episodes to go to be fully sure. 🤔

Fuguushoku [Kanteishi] ga Jitsu wa Saikyou Datta: Naraku de Kitaeta Saikyou no [Shingan] de Musou Suru

Add another World Tree Spirit to the list! Also that demon that was sent to assassinate was pathetic on so many levels! 🤭

What I Get High On

One of my fav readers asked me what it’s like for me when I get high. I told them that I actually have never gotten high on drugs. Yes, I am not lying. What I did tell them was that I get high on the amazing comments that they and my other wonderful readers leave me. It sounds stupid, but when I am feeling down and I get a comment, it lights up my face and makes me smile. ^-^

Top Five Anime OP/ED of the Spring 2025 Anime Season : Part II

Part 1 ⬇️

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Post by @nene-san49 · 7 videos

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · Top Five Anime OP/ED of the Spring 2025 Anime Season : Part I · Winter 2025 Parts 1 & 2 at the end of the post. A little l

Okay so here we go with the final three vids in my Top Five. 😁

#3

Inertia by Sawano Hiroyuki from Tu Bian Ying Xiong X

People are probably surprised this is not my number one but as much as I like it, there are ones that just got me more excited as you will see. Still this is pretty fire so it gets the middle of the road spot.🤭

#2

Shake Don't Shake by seiyū cast from Ballpark de Tsukamaete!

This one is just a fun time and I love the little dances and really hope that in Japan they have a live event for the anime and they perform it cause I want to see the vid!😘

#1

Neo-Luddite by 9Lana from Your Forma

My mouth dropped open when I heard the chorus for Neo-Luddite! I was so bummed out that there is no official vid cause I wanted to see the one behind the voice but it turned out that this artist is one that chooses animated vids, which I can respect, so I didn't really miss anything, but man does she have some good songs! Check her out!😎