I Have Had To Put Great Work Into Not Trying To Be Bob The Builder For A Man That Doesn’t Even Realize

best olympic meme hands down omfg

her room isn’t dirty enough

this looks like that one COD map a little bit

damn

“listen i know what you want & i get it but i just can’t do it right now my balls are literally aching”

me:

Hymenopus coronatus (Olivier, 1792)

the walking flower mantis / orchid-blossom mantis / (pink) orchid mantis

Found in SE Asia rainforests (Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, Singapore and Western Ghats of India).

These organisms can switch between brown and pink depending on the color of the background.

They have significantly pronounced sexual dimorphism relative to other mantis species. That is- the males can be less than half the size of the female.

This camouflage is considered to be potentially a self defense mechanism and/or a form of mimicry that helps it blend with the orchid to capture insect prey.

source: the species wikipedia page

true story i went to this bar in san diego and the bathroom was unisex w three stalls. i walk in and the first one is pretty gross, second one is a black commode with a black light bulb directly over head and all i can tell is it appears to be COVERED in piss, more than i thought a toilet seat could hold. i go to the THIRD stall and it’s STACKED with toilet paper just coming up & out the bowl. so i’m like jfc ok and i go back to the first one to squat over it. i’m mid pissin and this lady comes in and does the same thing except much more vocal. she goes to her first (my third) and is like **ew wtf**. and i’m like oh no baby wait. she hits the second and loud asf goes “IS THIS A MFKIN JOKE??” and went back to the other one, flushed it and i’m guessing did her business. i bout fell on my own filthy assseat bc my body locked up trying not to laugh.

i was blowed out when it happened and the first time i told the story but imma think about it every time i go shopping in the public restroom