Heads Up . . ! Not Proofread.. 0.7k Wrds!

｡･:*˚:✧boyfriend bachira･:*˚:✧｡

summary: general dating headcanons for the best boy of all the boys

warnings: umm if you don’t read this and like it I’ll cry, mentions of biting (cuteness aggression), use of pet names

BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy 🤍 - aria

pre!boyfriend bachira who literally tells you straight up that he likes you but does it in such an unserious way that you don’t recognize his true feelings. he’s always touchy and affectionate and often acts that way with his other friends as well so you have a hard time differentiating if he’s being platonic or not.

pre!boyfriend bachira who notices that you DONT notice and gets really upset about it. feels like there’s nothing he can do to get you to see all the love he has literally oozing out of his veins for you.

pre!boyfriend bachira who has already made a great impression on your family and friends. he’s just such a little bundle of joy that everyone loves having around. you’ve also met his mom and she’s so happy meguru has someone who genuinely loves and cares for him.

pre!boyfriend bachira who takes pictures and notes of every thing he sees that reminds him of you. sometimes he shares them with you but often times he’s afraid you’ll think the sheer amount of time he spends thinking about you is weird :(

pre!boyfriend bachira who CANNOT help but engulf you in the most lung suppressing, air tight, vacuum sealed hug of all time every time he sees you. feels this is the closest he can get to you as just friends. (really he wants to plant a thousand kisses on your face and swing you around like a teddy bear in his arms)

pre!boyfriend bachira who doesn’t stop talking about you to all his friends (EVERYONE but you knows that he has feelings for you). He’s spent so much time observing everything about you that he feels like there’s endless things he could mention and if he says one thing but leaves out another they won’t fully understand just how amazing you are.

pre!boyfriend bachira who writes you a love letter with a full declaration of his feelings and a cute little drawing of the two of you playing football together. you go find him immediately after reading it and he’s like “well FINALLY I’ve been trying to tell you for forever silly :D” (you better love this boy or I will hunt you down)

boyfriend bachira who is literally the kisses bandit. will kiss you any chance he gets. passing by you in the hall for literally two seconds? boom! kiss on the cheek. you are never safe (not that you’d ever NOT want this boys sweet little pecks at every chance you can get them). His favorite place to kiss you is everywhere and anywhere he can get to.

boyfriend bachira who finally gets to share all the things that make him think of you. expect to receive texts and voicemails from this boy all day. “I walked past this bakery that smelled just like you!” “This flower I saw is the same color as your eyes!” “I saw the cutest bunny at the park today and it even sat with me for a while, I named it after you! call me back! love you!”

boyfriend bachira who has already curated a list of places he wants to take you. Ranging from his favorite stores and arcades to his favorite parks, under bridges, picnic spots, hidden gems. He’s always out and about finding fun places and his first thought is always how he can’t wait to take you there.

boyfriend bachira who calls you the silliest pet names. pumpkin, bunny, squish, baby face, cutie pie, literally anything that sounds adorable might as well be your middle name in his book.

boyfriend bachira who loves to share everything with you. He’s always giving you one of his earbuds when you walk/sit together, gesturing the straw of his drink over to you, splitting half his food order with you (as long as he gets half of yours :)) I imagine you guys sharing manga, dvds, vinyls, books, anything that’s his that he also wants to be yours. LOVES seeing you in his clothes. His jersey???? Omg he would die.

boyfriend bachira who wants to tell you everything about himself and his life and know everything about you. he’d never push you to speak about something that might be hard to talk about but he wants you to know that you can always be comfortable sharing anything with him. He truly considers you an extension of himself, his other half if you will.

boyfriend bachira who suffers from a terrible case of cuteness aggression!!! he definitely strikes me as a biter/nibbler. he never wants to hurt you and would only do it if you were ok with it but just little love bites on your hands, neck, cheeks, ears, lips anywhere. when you aren’t around and he thinks about how cute you are he has to scream in a pillow or kick his soccer ball really hard lol. Really wants to just squish you so hard you evaporate and become a part of him forever.

boyfriend bachira who if asked what he wants the most in this world would simply say he wants to live a happy vibrant life with you <3

Bachira is probably the loml. I think I would give him the world. I’m finally caught up with the blue lock manga as of last night and I’m literally itching so bad for more I need that new chapter ASAP gotta see goatsagi score that goal 😭

awwww, like me or smth?

ft. itoshi sae, itoshi rin, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, michael kaiser, yukimiya kenyu, chigiri hyoma, baro shoei, oliver aiku and isagi yoichi (f!reader) [THATS A HUGE ROSTER LMAO]

— healthy relationships 'n healthy convos >:))))

genre(s). fluff!!!

cw. swearing; possibly triggering phrases or jokes (please dont hesitate to tell me if u spot any of these!!)

note. i love healthy relationships (thank you so much pinterest for the inspo)

tagging: @whatisnerotypical, @itoshivy, @lalaufey, @levihanmyotp (AYRA IDK IF U STILL WANNA GET TAGGED BUT IM TAGGING U ANW JS TELL ME IF DONT WANNA LUV U MWWAWMAWMAWM)

🐈‍⬛: thank you for reading! reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!

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𝘀𝗵𝗲𝘆𝗳𝘂'𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁! ₊˚ෆ

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May I request a break up prank with blue lock boys?? Take ur time!

YOU WANT TO WHAT? - you're (not) breaking up with them

THIS includes : texts genre: crack NOTE: break up pranks r scary.. so its better to write it!

PAIRINGS: ISAGI, BACHIRA, NAGI, REO, RIN, SAE, SHIDOU, AIKU, CHIGIRI

IMRAESPACE masterlist

“those stupid things are going to kill you.”

“then i’m going to die happy.”

rin scowls as he watches you hang upside down on the couch, stuffing your face with sour gummy worms. you’re not sure why he always does this every time you have an unhealthy snack, but you pay him no mind regardless. he’s the insane athlete, not you.

this song and dance is familiar to you, so you easily tug the bag away when he swiftly tries to reach for it and pry it from your grasp. a displeased huff leaves him and he grumbles, “i don’t know why you insist on putting that shit in your body.”

it’s clear he’s only like this because he cares about you and your health, but he also doesn’t understand you don’t need such strict restrictions on your diet the way he does. a love language for sure, but one that gets a bit lost in translation.

“my wiggly friends would never betray me, rinnie. one bag every so often is fine,” you say while slurping a worm like a noodle, making him grimace from the noise. sensing the conversation will go nowhere he simply grabs his soccer ball from his bag and heads outside to get some practice shots in.

he’s also positive you don’t see the small smile on his face when you call out for him to have fun and that you love him.

“i swear i bought more of them…” you mumble to yourself, rummaging through the snack cabinet in your shared kitchen.

(snacks that are almost exclusively bought by you apart from rin’s protein bars that have the taste and texture of cement. eugh.)

unsuccessful in your endeavors, you instead head up to the bedroom to ask rin if he did something with them. you don’t think he’d do something like throw them away behind your back out of pure respect for your choices as an adult, but he could’ve accidentally moved things without realizing.

you push open the door, asking, “rin, have you seen my -” his head whips around with wide eyes full of guilt as he haphazardly throws something across the room. from his mouth hangs a solitary string, red and blue and filled to the brim with sugar.

sour gummy worms. your sour gummy worms.

a shit eating grin is already on your face as he groans and tries to defend himself. he doesn’t really have an argument though, not when it was so obvious he was indulging in the very thing he ridiculed you for.

“i don’t fucking - i just wanted to see if they were worth killing yourself over,” he mutters through gritted teeth. there’s no point to even trying, rin quickly realizes as you close in on him.

you lose your mind laughing at him while his ears turn pink. he scoots over with a sigh so you can flop onto the bed, singing out, “rin loves gummy worrrrms!”

it’s so unbelievably annoying, but he finds that he doesn’t mind being the butt of the joke for a brief moment if it means seeing you so filled with joy.

plus, you’re too distracted to notice him grab another pack from his side table and shove a few more into his mouth. a win-win situation, he thinks.

You had been hiding from him for the past few weeks. An hour or two before bedtime, you would force him to be left alone as you huddled under the bedsheets, doing god knows what out of his eyesight. Maybe once or twice had he questioned you - words returned with a slight blush and tight-lipped secrets. MICHAEL KAISER actually found it somewhat endearing, so he tolerated it for the time being.

It was sooner, rather than later, when you started to rush into his arms with blood-pricked fingers. He would pepper soft kisses against bandaged skin before you would scurry back into the bedroom, leaving him with a raised eyebrow and shrug. Then, after a half hour, you would invite him back to the bedroom, where he would overlook the stray threads which decorated the floor as he found Shangri-La within your embrace.

“Michael,” your voice was a honey-suckle melody, saccharine golden liquid dripping from your tongue as you called out to him. He let out a soft sigh - faux exasperation as his eyes left the words on a page. His fingers reached for the small box of band-aids he had begun to conveniently leave on the living room table. On this night, there was no maroon dribbling down the length of your fingers. Instead, they were hidden from his view, intertwined behind your figure as you approached him, all cheerful and dear.

He absentmindedly patted his thigh, beckoning you as he closed the book and placed it on the side-table, glancing at you curiously.

“What’s this, mäuschen?” Noir de noir simmered by the fireplace as your legs draped over his, a sweet smile on your lips, reverent to his gaze. You love him in a way he doesn’t understand. Michael doesn’t understand the tender ministrations you would run against the swell of his pale cheek. He didn’t understand the epitome of patience, which escaped your being & flooded into his own. He didn’t understand why you were presenting him with a small, cat-shaped stuffed animal, panels handstitched, sewn together.

To be understood is an abyss.

Gingerly, he traced his fingers against the seams, admiring art - you, breathless, by his side. He’s never owned something so delicate, skin reduced to parts of fabric and flesh of cotton stuffing. Perhaps, years ago, there was a much younger boy who yearned to even glance at something alike to the object within his grasp now. Perhaps that boy can be satisfied now.

Michael softened, an arm wrapping around your waist and tugging you closer. A whispered gratitude against your temple is enough, because you know. His head of fine gold rested against your chest, gently tugging on the little limbs of the stitched animal. 

You pressed featherlight kisses against his hair, sweet like myrrh. Your body, a latibule, designed solely for him.

There is a semblance of love, in being known.

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Sorry for disturbing 🩷 would it be possible a one shot with either Bachira or reo (or any character that fits the vibes) based on the sentence “don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you” or “why are you so stubborn?”. Looking for some angst not gonna lie😖😶‍🌫️

𐙚 “Don’t give me space, that’s the last thing I want.” BLLK oneshot 𐙚

CW: angst. Nakedness innuendos but nothing explicit, mention of breakup.

ᯓ★ Ryusei Shidou

“Damn it, Y/N,” Shidou snapped. It wasn’t loud enough to make you flinch, but it was loud enough to make your eyes widen in surprise.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. After all, you are more than aware of how he is—the type of person he is. He’s not so rough in private as he is on the field, sure, but his bruising personality still carries over into his personal life. The signs, the warnings were there all along. Big, bold, and yet, they still managed to get lost.

“Why are you so stubborn?” he continued. “I have told you once, and I have told you twice, I don’t—I just don’t. I don’t want to open up, I am fine. I do not need help—“

“Fine.” You cut him off, trying to avoid another argument—the third of that morning alone.

“Fine. I am sorry for pushing. I am sorry for insisting. I just know something is wrong. I can tell from the way you haven’t closed an eye in the last few days. From the way you have been on edge constantly. I shouldn’t have pried, I am sorry. Just know that I am here if you do need me. Because that’s what I am here for, right?” Your words linger in the air for a moment, the silence thick between the two of you as both stare at the pavement. The silence is broken as you turn around to leave the living room, your slippers squeaking on the parquet floor.

“Wait—Y/N,” Shidou sighed, his voice calmer than earlier. His shoulders had dropped, his eyes slightly softer, although there was still that wall present.

“Wait. Please—don’t go. Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you. Please… I… can’t,” he mumbled, his words coming out quietly and quickly, enough to understand them and the message he was trying to send.

Stay. I need you. Please. Don’t leave me alone. I can’t talk about it, not yet. But please stay.

Your eyes soften as you move back close to him, step after step, slowly. Unsure movements, trying to see how he would react. Will he flinch away? Will he move back? But he doesn’t. He doesn’t move. He keeps his eyes on you. And your eyes are on him. You stop right in front of him, giving him the opportunity to move back, to move away if he needs to. But he doesn’t move. And so, you take one more step, and your arms are around him. His head comes to rest against your neck, his breathing hitting your soft skin, making it warmer.

“I’m sorry,” your words come out quieter than intended, a whisper of some sort.

“It’s fine, stop apologising,” he whispers back, moving his mouth against your neck, leaving a soft, slightly humid kiss on the now warm skin. “Just hold me for a little longer.”

ᯓ★ Bachira Meguru

“Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you, Y/N-chan,” Bachira screamed while crying—no, while sobbing his eyes out. The scene felt so familiar. The yellow bedsheets, the softness of his mattress where he was sat on. The artwork from his mother or the little sketches he made, scattered across the study table and some glued to the wall. Right beside the Polaroids of you two. You two laughing, you two kissing. You two smiling.

And now, it felt like everything was crumbling away slowly.

“Y/N-chan… please,” he sobbed as he tried to step closer, but you took a step back. He couldn’t—there was just something wrong with your eyes. The way they were so… dark. So empty. You never looked at him with such disdain. Disgust even. Why now?

“Don’t leave me, please—” you cut him off.

“Bachira, we are done. D-O-N-E. Done. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. You’re absolutely the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Bachira, Bachira… Bachira… Bachira? Bachira, are you listening? Bachira, can you hear me…?

He wakes up gasping. His eyes still blurred with tears he didn’t know he had shed while he was sleeping. His heart was beating so fast that he could feel his heartbeat in his ears. His body was shaking as he tightened his grip on a hand… a hand? He turns his face, meeting your worried eyes. Your mouth opens, probably calling his name, that’s what it looked like. But he was in such a discombobulated state that he didn’t even hear your words. His eyes wide as if he had seen a ghost, while they desperately tried to read any of the emotions he had seen previously on your face. Your eyes were kind, sweet as ever. There was no disgust, no fear, no hatred. And yet…

It felt so real. So damn real. He was no stranger to self-doubt. He was no stranger to feeling—like he wasn’t good enough. And maybe a little voice at the back of his head was waiting for the right moment to lash out all of these insecurities onto him, right when the moment was nothing more than peaceful, and destroy everything once again.

That wasn’t you. You never looked at him in such way, and he was sure you never would. That was a conjure of his brain, of his deepest insecurities. Of you leaving him. Of you abandoning him like he has been abandoned before in his past.

But you are here. Right beside him. Still holding his hand while your worried eyes and furrowed eyebrows look at his face, trying to determine how to work the situation.

“Bee? I’m here. You feel me? Feel my heart. I’m here,” you whisper softly, bringing the hand you were holding right up to your chest, to your beating, steady heart.

Right. You’re here. We are here. Together. You didn’t leave. We are in my bed. Our pictures are still up on that same wall staring back at us. And I can feel your soft, warm, bare body against mine under the covers. We are here. We are together. And I love you. Oh, how I love you. Please, never leave me. I love you.

ᯓ★ Reo Mikage

“For the love of— again? Really, Reo? Again? Why are you so stubborn, I swear—” you say to your best friend, Reo. Your voice is slightly harsher than intended, but the tiredness and maybe a tinge of anger are starting to seep out.

Again, it happened again.

Reo getting dumped by Nagi. And consequently, the purple-haired guy runs into hiding, sobbing his eyes out while spiraling out of control. And you were tired. Tired of seeing him hurt. Tired of seeing the person you loved, cared for and cherished getting used and discarded when he wasn’t needed anymore.

Reo wasn’t perfect, and neither are you. But then again, who is? Despite his flaws, he is kind, oh so ever kind. He is gentle even, and his smile—his laugh, is so beautiful. So full of life, it’s the little giggles turning into a belly laugh, a small snort in between as he laughs his heart out. And you miss it as tears and sobs replace his usual smile and laugh.

You sigh, moving to sit by his side on the floor. Your arms move automatically like they have done in the past, to hold him tightly against your chest. To give him a sense of security despite the darkness he is feeling inside.

“I am so tired,” he whispers shakily between sniffles and tears. “I—is it too much? To ask to be loved? Is it too much to love me? Am I too much?” he says in a quiet, timid voice.

He is not speaking to you, well, not directly. The question is more or less said out loud as he is starting to open up.

“No. It’s not too much. You’re not too much, you’re not a burden to love, Reo. You’re the biggest gift anyone could ever receive.” Your words are soft as silk, caressing him, holding him metaphorically and literally in a warm embrace.

You’re not too much, Reo. You’re just enough.

“But then—” he sniffles. “Why is it… he keeps leaving? Why is it that no matter how hard I try, he always ends up leaving?”

Good question. Why does Nagi leave? Well, you certainly have some words, strong ones at that, but it’s not the time nor place to use them.

“Because sometimes we aren’t meant to stay with that person, Reo. I know, it’s an oxymoron. It doesn’t make sense, it’s ridiculous even. How and why? If you love someone so hard, so much, why do they leave? Why can’t they stay? Well—because it doesn’t matter how hard you love someone, sometimes that love is not enough to make them stay. Sometimes, too, you’re misplacing your love with the wrong person. In your case, I feel it’s a mix of both. I know you care for him, so deeply. That’s who you are, after all. But—who cares for you, Reo?” you say in a low, soft tone, as your hand goes to cup his cheek.

“Who cares for you when the lights are out and you’re alone with your thoughts? And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy kind. I’m talking about the mental one. Who’s there, giving you advice? Who’s there, helping you? Who’s there supporting you?”

Reo’s eyes meet yours, filled with tears but also a glimmer of understanding. He knows you’re right, but it’s hard to let go of something you’ve held onto so tightly.

“I just—I think sometimes it’s better to let go. I can’t make the choice for you, and I won’t. It has to come from you. But just know, whatever you decide, I’m here. I’ll always be here,” you continue, your voice firm yet gentle.

Reo takes a deep breath, his body still trembling slightly but starting to calm down in your embrace. He nods slowly, resting his head on your shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can do it alone,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I— don’t want to do it alone. Don’t give me space. Don’t leave. That’s the last thing I want from you. Please… help me” his eyes meet yours in a quiet understanding.

“You’re not alone, Reo. You have me, and you have so many people who care about you. You just have to see it. And maybe, it’s time to start caring for yourself as much as you care for others,” you say softly, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

He pulls back slightly to look at you, a small, grateful smile forming on his lips. It’s a start, at least.

“Thank you. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he whispers, his voice full of emotion, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

Your cold lips touch his cheek, leaving a soft, reassuring kiss

“Anytime silly” you reply, holding onto a soft, almost teasing smile. Your noses touch, while sharing a soft, quiet chuckle together.

In that moment, as his purple eyes mix into yours, you both understand that while the journey ahead might be tough, he has you and you have him. And maybe, just maybe, Reo will finally find the strength to let go and find someone who truly deserves his love.

© GLAMOROUSCAT (All rights reserved, do not share, modify or repost my work outside of tumblr)

How to Subtly Show Someone You're Interested

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.4k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting, bickering WARNINGS: huge Kaiser tw

#1 Eye contact

Kaiser has been acting strange.

Usually this would not be an observation you'd be making (as he acts weird all the time so it's not worthy of note), but today he's been so odd, it's starting to bug you even more than his default level of being annoying.

He keeps just… staring blankly. At you. You don't know what you did to deserve this horrible treatment — perhaps you did not grovel enough after accidentally butting into His Majesty’s shoulder, or breathed in his direction too hard without permission, or some other similar tragedy — but it's getting unsettling.

Well, honestly, it was creepy to begin with, but it's making your skin crawl more and more the longer it goes on. Like, what does he want? Are you going to be on the news soon? His eyes are blue and lifeless and evil like always, so you know he can't be up to anything good each time he burns your body to a crisp with his stoic serial killer gaze. It's even worse when he smirks at you while he does it, that's how you know the torture you'll endure at his hands will be slow and painful, and he's already delighting in his demented plans before putting them into action.

Kaiser attempts to maintain his stare down with you while he makes his way out of the training room and you stay behind putting away whatever you need to, observing him in confusion and fear. Though, of course, you would not admit to something as lowly as letting Kaiser intimidate you out loud (since you don't want to partake in an action that seems to give him a mental orgasmic feeling), at least to yourself, you can concede you're on edge.

… That is, until his dedication towards being a scrote proves detrimental even to him because he runs into the wall, hitting about half his face. It seems tormenting you is too distracting for a sick sadist like Kaiser. He palms at his skin, probably seething to himself while trying to seem cool and collected and totally not on the brink of shitting himself in anger on the outside, as if such a small thing as a solid wall could not faze him or even cause him pain.

You point and laugh at him. Kaiser pretends not to see you and walks out tall and proud like nothing happened. This will have to do as your revenge, for now.

#2 Initiate conversation

“Did you have a nice weekend?” asks Kaiser.

“It's Tuesday,” you reply, once again confused. Why is he talking to you, does he have nothing better to do.

“Right,” he says in a casual tone, like he didn't just ask you an irrelevant dumbass question. “The weather is nice.”

You ignore that one, but you can't help wondering if something is wrong with him and if this is an obscure call for help. Blackmail from a drooling fan perhaps? After all, it's unlike him to say anything so boring and ordinary, and you don't imagine he would make small talk with you unless it's a complicated code to signal that his life is in danger.

“What restaurant would you recommend?” Kaiser tries again.

“What?”

There's an uncomfortable silence during which you're just looking at each other, you perplexed and him expressionless, the previous guise of pleasantries and fake sweet smile wiped off. It is possibly even more uncomfortable than anything else that has unfolded between you two in the past. Then Kaiser says, “You know, I think you're an ingrate.”

“What?!”

“You’re not appreciative enough of my efforts.”

“For what?!”

Kaiser scoffs, averse to elaborating due to humiliation (either because of his apparent failure or because it's plain embarrassing to state his intentions when you don't seem receptive to them or because being outright on the matter requires him to express himself, which is in nature disgusting). Then you watch while he walks away from you in a moody fit.

Well, at least if he has the energy to act temperamental, that must mean he's not in any shittier spirits than usual. It is way less unnerving than his earlier civility, for one.

#3 Compliment them

Kaiser has no respect for personal space. Or more like he only deems his need for such important and disregards everyone else's. You know this.

But you can't lie in good conscience that he's gotten this close to you before, examining you, leaning in way too close. Close enough that you feel Ness planning your murder from across the field. Close enough to warrant a harassment complaint.

You assume Kaiser must be looking for miniscule flaws to fake laugh at like a missing eyelash or the fact that you have pores, but instead of doing what you predicted, after a long while of making you almost throw up from nerves — what's with this guy and staring at you like a microbe under a telescope so much? — he says, “You have beautiful sclera.”

???

You bristle at the sound of the strange thing he said. Unperturbed by your visibility negative reaction, Kaiser continues,

“And I love the way you look at me, like you want to kill me. It gives me a thrill.”

What's wrong with this guy? you think to yourself.

“Your bone structure can almost rival mine-”

“Kaiser, stop talking nonsense and go… back to doing something else somewhere away from me.”

“Hmph.” He backs off to a more socially appropriate distance, crossing his arms. “I see you still haven't fixed your attitude.”

“Me? I need to fix my attitude?! When you're the one acting like a depraved person?”

“Wow, if you think that's what I'm doing, you must not understand anything about the world at all,” he says in a condescending tone, smirking at you with played up amusement.

“You have some nerve! Kaiser, go away before I take advantage of my position and put rat poison in your water bottle. It'd suit you to go out that way.”

“You're so obsessed with me.”

After that declaration, he whips around to make a dramatic and majestic exit, with a deliberate swat of his hair to your face. Maybe you'll be spitting out gross blue strands after this. You fume to yourself.

#4 Light touches

Once again, Kaiser is plaguing you. Today's method of inflicting trauma seems to involve more gratuitous touching than usual.

He awkwardly drags his hand over your shoulder.

You stare at him as if this is the most scandalous offense you've been on the receiving end of. Maybe it's not, but he's been walking on your nerves all day with other such inept attempts at caresses. “Did you just wipe something on my sleeve?”

“What?” he asks in a flat tone. “No. Are you dumb?”

Your expression doesn't show anything other than incredulity. Certainly not the fluster and admiration Kaiser is hoping for.

You then go right back to ignoring him like he is dust. This is outrageous, he's going to be sick. Kaiser takes fate into his hands and embraces you stiffly from behind (once again showing his lack of etiquette).

Startled, you ask, “Are you gonna put me in an octopus hold?”

“No? Do you always have to assume I'm going to do something bad to you?”

“Well, it's not like you ever do anything good.”

Kaiser lets go of you even though he doesn't want to — truly a moment of his character development you're witnessing —, his arms dropping limply by his sides while he frowns at you like a kicked kitty. Exquisite manipulation tactic, however, you're not moved by the display at all.

He says, “I still think you need to fix your attitude.”

You roll your eyes and let him have his little moment with his snide remark. An immediate retort hasn't come to mind after all, and you'd rather play it off as disregarding him than admit to the shameful lack of a comeback. It's not your fault his incomprehensible behavior leaves you speechless, anyway.

#5 Be there for them

Kaiser decides to skip this one as it's even more vile than when he lowered himself enough to the point he tried to hug you.

#6 Use humor

Kaiser stands in front of you, trying to think of something funny to say, which isn't an activity he engages in often (as the comedy of his existence is often unintentional or manifests in the form of being a bitch for no reason and antagonizing people unprovoked). During this process, you're once more forced to endure the weight of his unrelenting, vacant stare.

“I have a controversial football opinion,” says Kaiser, finally.

“As usual.”

“The ball is sentient and it hates getting kicked around like that.”

You tilt your head, not understanding why Michael Kaiser would say something so… silly? “Well, I'm sure you take some delight in imagining that,” you say in an unsure voice, not knowing how else to reply.

Kaiser smirks at you in an attempt to shrug off his latest failure and feign casualness. Then he tries again because his spirit is as tenacious as his gawping. “You should always make sure to distinguish between ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ at a funeral.”

“Why? Do you speak from experience? Is that a little slip up from when you attended the funeral of one of all those people you killed?”

“No. I think if I killed someone, I'd be the type to facetiously say ‘rest in peace,’ just to piss them off in the afterlife.”

“I can imagine you doing that. Good for you I guess.”

Kaiser snickers to himself — maybe because he's enjoying imagining all his enemies dead — and plays with his fingers in an almost nervous manner, which makes you question if you're perhaps hallucinating. He ponders if he's funny or not.

#7 Text them

(04:55 AM) Michael Kaiser: [5 image attachments]

(06:32 AM) You: why are you sending me shirtless mirror pics lol

(06:46 AM) Michael Kaiser: Wrong person

(06:50 AM) You: did you mean to send that to ness

(07:02 AM) Michael Kaiser: No

(07:05 AM) Michael Kaiser: ???

(07:43 AM) You: well you only talk to me and him so if it's not for us who else could it be for

(07:44 AM) You: lol don't tell me you did that to seem sought after haha

(07:48 AM) Michael Kaiser: Let's stop talking for a little while.

#8 Give them attention

Kaiser gives you plenty of attention, and he doesn't even make you do tricks for it. Like for example right now, when he's poking you in the ribs while you're trying to fill out something unfinished on the tablet during your break.

You slap his hand away. “Kaiser. What.”

He moves onto poking your neck instead, forcing you to wiggle away from him as he continues his antics despite your dodging.

“What do you want?!”

“I just don't want you to feel neglected by me,” he says in a tone he probably believes is suave.

“I don't.”

“You're trying to seem brave, but your eyes give you away.”

“You're crazy,” you say, not even in shock or embarrassment, but rather a very apparent disorientation. “If anything I've been overdosing on you lately.”

“There’s never enough of me. You don't need to pretend just to humble me. It's not cute nor clever.”

“Kaiser, quit it before I cut off your finger and poke you with it instead.”

To your surprise, Kaiser stops. You watch him warily for a few seconds before feeling safe enough to turn around and try doing your work again.

Kaiser pokes you on the sides.

#9 Playful teasing

“You look like shit today,” greets Kaiser with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Did they let the clown academy off early today?”

“Kaiser, you're so immature.” You shrug him off. Usually you'd allow the contact, granted he's not being rude or creepy, but he's done the former a nanosecond into the conversation, so you're not going to stand for it.

“I assume you're stupid or uptight enough to take me seriously. That's always fun.”

“Trust me, you're the last person in the world I'd take seriously.”

“No, but really, you're quite unencumbered by the standards of beauty today.”

“So I'm ugly and stupid? Awesome, thank you so much.”

His traitorous hand which had grabbed at your shoulder earlier moves lower around your waist instead, pulling you closer. At his actions, you squint your eyes and look at him as if he is a dirty wet sock. “Don't worry, I'd still take you though.”

This horrendous thing he just uttered makes you gape in shock. Then it morphs into disgust, and you smack him on the arm and retch at him.

#10 Mention being single

You expect something horrific to happen this time when Kaiser approaches you, but instead, out of the blue, unprovoked, nobody asked or moved — as most things are with him — he announces, “By the way, I'm single.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, not sure what to do with this information. “Yeah, that figures.”

“What do you mean? Tons of people want me, but I don't want them back. That's why I'm available, that's all.”

“Don't explain yourself to me, I don't care,” you say flippantly, crossing your arms and shifting your weight to one leg.

“Well, you should.”

“Sure, Mr. ‘Sorry Wrong Chat.’” You snort.

Kaiser upturns his nose and glares at you. “You’re mischaracterizing me and presenting that whole situation wrong. For one, I didn't say sorry.” Then he scoots closer to you, grinning without smiling with his eyes whatsoever. “Anyway, I'll forgive you. As long as you remember the main point, which is that I'm single.”

“I know, dipshit.”

“Wow, can't you rub your little brain cells together, the whole two of them, and understand what I've been getting at?” Kaiser snaps, frustrated that the fruits of his incompetent labor aren't ready for reaping yet.

“It's not my fault you can't say whatever you have to say properly,” you say, delivering your line in a pointed tone so that he can grasp the implication you're making this time.

Kaiser blinks with the small frown still on his face, a remnant of his earlier scowling. Then realization sets in and his lips form a thin line instead. His cheeks color slightly.

You're fucking with him on purpose.

___

Some slop I wrote on my phone on vacation in between drinking and sweltering in my own gooch in the sun. Enjoy or don't

Loving kaiser is like loving a cat who is badly abused it takes months for him to trust you it takes a long time just for him to understand that you're here to love him and you won't do anything but you don't mind waiting that long because when he's asleep with his head on your arms and you playing with his hair it's worth all that time spent<3

Hear me out

More on the Blk×hp crossover because it has taken over my life

Okay, Kaiser hears a rumour that you and isagi are dating.

This infuriates kaiser to no end. He doesn't know why it pisses him off. He's being extra mean to you, and you can't seem to figure out why. Don't even get me started on Quidditch. He's got it out for Isagi, he's more aggressive towards poor isagi. What if Isagi gets hurt? You're tending to him and omgg it gets him . Bro is loosing his shit atp.

If he sees you guys together at Hogsmeade on Valentine's day...

I just want to see his ass suffer and when he realizes that it's false information lmfao 🤣 and bro was torturing himself (and poor Ness #nessdeservesbetter😔 #justiceforness) over nothing

Yeahh that's it. Please forgive me if there're any grammatical errors

Take care.

Happy Valentines 💝

characters ; michael kaiser

contains ; hogwarts au, slytherin!kaiser, ravenclaw!reader, gryffindor!isagi, mild violence

happy (late) valentine's day, angel! you've put me in a ditzy because of this ask, so i thank you kindly for feeding into my daydreams i quite like this stupid little white boy <3 (also i said in a previous post that yoichi would be a ravenclaw, but i think he suits gryffindor a lil more ngl esp after ch293 :P)

kaiser would most DEFINITELY be the type of person to let out his anger through his playing, so expect there to be a ton of fouls from him during the gryffindor vs. slytherin match because he just "accidentally" keeps running into isagi, nearly knocking him off his broom more than ounce. it doesn't help that there's been whispers circulating that there's been confirmation of you and isagi officially being a couple after the many speculations from stray eyes that keep a rather close eye on you and him. the golden boy of gryffindor and the ace of ravenclaw... many would agree that you and him would be power couple in the halls of hogwarts, completely disregarding kaiser. it didn't help that evidently, you and isagi got along much better than you and kaiser did, sharing soft smiles and joyous laughter amongst each other rather than hardened glares and quick-witted insults. you were best friends after all, not sworn rivals like you and he were.

slytherin ends up winning the match, kaiser rising victorious by scoring the winning goal to break the tie, but he can't really celebrate his win in full because he sees you later tidying up some wounds and scratches isagi had gotten from the match in the preparation tent. his jaw grits, watching the intimate scene unfurl before him.

isagi hisses through his teeth when you gently place the cotton bud on an open wound on his elbow.

you wince, pulling your hand back. "i'm sorry..."

"no," isagi shakes his head, encouraging you to keep going. "i'm fine, it just stings a bit, 's all..."

you look at him with a doubtful countenance, but dab the alcohol-soaked cotton bud anyway, trying not to notice the way isagi's eyes close in pain. tenderly, you place a band-aid on the skin before you soak another cotton bud and move to the scratch on his cheek, your fingers brushing his reddened cheek (the hue unnoticed by you) when you repeat the process to help disinfect and clean up the small gash.

"he's such a bastard," you mutter softly, "he should've gotten a foul when he nearly knocked you into the hufflepuff stands."

isagi shrugs, "it is what it is."

"is it me or did he seem more pissed than usual?" you inquire, your fingers smoothing over the bandage you've placed over the cut. "like he was taking his anger on you specifically. did you do something to him?"

"hell if i know," isagi sighs, rolling his eyes. "it's hard to read kaiser."

kaiser's eyes narrow as you hold isagi's face in your palm, his nails digging into his palms as he watches you examine him for any spare injuries you didn't tend to. not wanting to infuriate himself with this meddling nonsense, he decides to replace the feeling with pride and glory, stomping out of the tent and replacing the loud throbbing in his ears with the cheers of his fellow slytherins that shout his name in a steady beat as he appears before him.

he bathes in the glory for a bit, letting his ego fill with the approvals of his audience, though from the corner of his eye, he catches a blur of blue and red walk side by side together out of the arena, arm in arm.

on valentine's day, kaiser receives bucketloads of chocolates from his admirers, both known and unknown. he waves them off when ness presents them, going downstairs to fetch some breakfast, only for him to see you hand isagi a medium-sized golden box of chocolates shaped in a diamond that he accepts gratefully, a large smile on his face before he gives you a bag of candies. you go and give your other friends the same chocolates, a small personalized envelope with a card glued onto the front of it, their names all written in a pretty cursive.

he ditches breakfast, deciding he'll eat later and runs up back to his dorm. for some reason this year, unlike the prior ones, he actually shuffles through all the boxes trying to look for a peculiar, diamond shaped one, and he does find it to his satisfaction. he pulls it out so fast from the pile and rips open the card, anticipating a specific someone's name to be signed at the bottom.

... but his face contorts into irritation when an unknown girl's name is read. who the hell is "imogen?"

he tosses the letter over his shoulder, thinking this was stupid. no way did he just spend fifteen minutes attempting to find a box of chocolates from you, knowing the tense relationship between you and him. of course you wouldn't give him any—you weren't even friends! so why the sudden spark of hope...?

kaiser's valentine's day turns even more sour when he tries to distract himself and goes to hogsmeade to fix himself up some firewhiskey, only to see you and isagi in the window of honeydukes, examining candy together. this didn't seem to be a group trip either, considering he didn't recognize anyone else that you were friends with in the store, so you and him must've went together.

right—he nearly forgot. you were a couple now. of course you'd be spending the holiday of love together. that's just common sense.

"you think she'll like this?" isagi asks you, holding up a basket assortment of many candies. "i don't know what she really likes, so i was thinking i'd play it safe and just get her everything."

you grin and throw him a thumbs up. "good move, i think she'd quite like that. maybe throw in that teddy bear we saw earlier."

he nods with a blush on his face that you can only giggle at. you've never seen your best friend so giddy before, especially since he'll be having his first date with the hufflepuff girl in his astronomy class he's been admiring, a pride within you blooming when he told you excitedly this morning that he'd be going to madame puddifoot's soon with her.

"i'm gonna go pay and then go get ready back at my dorm," says isagi as he nudges his head towards the cash register, the gifts he holds in his hands starting to tumble out of his grasp a little. "i'll see you later at dinner to tell you how everything went!"

"good luck! don't be nervous!" you call out to him when he shuffles through the crowd before returning your attention to examine the luxury chocolates they had just imported from belgium.

a shadow looms over you suddenly, and you feel the temperature drop a bit from the air around you. there's an impending sense of doom that pits itself in your stomach, so it doesn't take you too long to discover the identity of the tattooed hand that snatches the box of chocolates you were examining away.

your jaw ticks.

"i was looking at that," you mutter with irritation, slowly turning back around to face a familiar blonde. "... kaiser."

"hm," kaiser merely hums back nonchalantly, eyes flickering over the assortment of flavors indicated on the back. "never thought you'd have such a sophisticated sweet tooth," he mutters as he reads over the unique flavor profiles of each chocolate.

"god forbid someone wants to go out of their comfort zone," you roll your eyes obnoxiously before picking up another box to assess, not wanting to bother to get back the previous one you were holding. of course somehow kaiser makes your life ten times more difficult whenever he was around, even off campus grounds.

the assortments look so tasty, you think, reading over the details of the feuilletine truffle. maybe you should treat yourself this valentine's day, relishing in fancy chocolates and curling up with a good book sounds like your ideal day of rest. you think you deserve an upgrade from the casual chocolates you were used to purchasing for a quick fix...

... until you look at the price of the box of chocolates.

your eyes nearly bulge out of their head when you read the price.

"forty five galleons?!" you whisper-shout under your breath, only loud enough for the man behind you to hear. kaiser's eyes flicker towards your astonished visage. "merlin, was this made out of unicorn hair or something?!"

you sigh and place the box down on the shelf again, choosing to return back to the safety of the generic honeydukes chocolate bar instead of wasting your money on something that'd disappear all too quickly.

"you're not gonna get it?" kaiser inquires as you begin to look for a way out of the chocolates area.

"as if i have that kind of money," you snort haughtily.

"then ask your boyfriend to buy it. it's valentine's day after all," kaiser snarks back, the words coming out of his lips faster than he's able to fully process them. he curses himself in his mind when he realizes what he's said, revealing the fact that your status as a couple wasn't as hidden as some may say.

"huh?" you turn back with a confused look. "boyfriend? what?"

it's kaiser's turn to look perplexed. "your boyfriend?" he repeats and pokes a stray strand of hair from the top of his head to mimic an ahoge. "yoichi isagi? golden boy of gryffindor? sound familiar?"

your brows furrow and you wonder if he's making fun of you.

"yoichi and i aren't dating," you counter back. "who told you that?"

the way kaiser feels relieved feels unnatural, like a giant weight had just been unburdened from his shoulders. he shouldn't even be feeling this heaviness in the first place, but he did and now it's gone just from the mere words that counter his initial belief.

... he still feels relieved, oddly enough.

"i—" kaiser starts, but draws blanks when he attempts to cover up his nasty acceptance of a mere rumor, feeling idiotic he had believed such a thing so fast and so intently. "it's just floating about. since y'know, you guys are so close... and stuff," he mutters hotly.

your lip curls in annoyance. "never thought you'd be one to accept rumors so loosely," you mimic his tone from earlier, crossing your arms. a vein pops in kaiser's forehead at your arrogance, and he opens his mouth to give you a snide response back, but you begin to turn on your heel.

"don't believe such stupid shit so fast," you say, waving a hand to indicate your leave. "it won't do you good in the long-run."

kaiser is eventually left alone in the chocolate aisle, a little flabbergasted at what just happened. he watches you as you exit the store by yourself, choosing not to buy anything while he's in the vicinity. a warmth blooms within kaiser's chest however, when he repeats your denial of a relationship in his head.

"yoichi and i aren't dating."

"they're not dating," kaiser mumbles to himself as he grips the box of expensive chocolates in his hands with a small smile. "yeah... they're not dating."

that evening, you later find a delicately wrapped box placed on your desk with your name on it. you take off the green ribbon and rip open the white wrapping paper and widen your eyes to what's revealed from inside.

it was the box of expensive belgian chocolates you were looking at just hours beforehand. you're astonished, thinking who on earth had spend this much money on you when you try and find the sender of the package, only to be met with a short, mysterious inscription on the back of the box's lid.

"happy valentine's day. eat well and enjoy." —🌹

think I’ll miss you forever; like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

when they leave you—but don’t worry, they’ll come back.

ft; kaiser, sae, barou

part 2 - sae

⋆｡°✩₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧₊ °✦

“so, you’re going to Spain?”

the ice cream’s movement to sae’s lips stopped as he looked towards you. “yeah, i…who told you that? rin? or was it my parents?” sae placed the ice cream in between his lips again, eyes fixated on you.

“rin did, but I think your parents were planning on telling me asap. but…don’t you think it’s a little early? you’re 13. i get that you’re talented and all, but going to a whole other continent when you just turned into a teenager?” you asked. you stared at the ocean in front of you. “you can barely even solve long division, how are you going to survive there not knowing anything but soccer?”

sae raised his eyebrows, handing you an ice cream. “I’ll be living in the Real Madrid dorms. and I’ll try to call and text you as much as i can. it’s not that big of a deal; im sure that the players at Spain won’t be too much of a challenge. so just wait for me, alright?”

and how could you reject that glimmer in his eyes?

“alright.”

⋆｡°✩₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧₊ °✦

4 years later

“sae! you’re back!”

ignoring the suitcase he was dragging behind him, you jumped onto sae, arms wrapping around him tightly. finally, he was back. it would only be for a bit, yes, but back nonetheless. you looked back at his face, and you froze. “you…did you get any sleep? you have terrible circles under your eyes and you honestly just look so…exhausted.”

teal eyes looked into yours before looking away. “im fine. and its good to see you again. im surprised you actually came to pick you up, since finals are this week for Japan.” why was he so pale? and what the hell was he saying?

“of course I’d come pick you up, I haven’t seen my best friend in what, 4 years now? and what brought the sudden change to a midfielder?” you asked, taking his suitcase. his eyes flicked away.

“and why should I tell you.”

silence. “are you tired or something? did you get no sleep on the plane?” you asked. sae ignored you, only walking to the exit of the airport. you led him to your car begrudgingly.

after an excruciatingly silent ride to his house, sae finally decided to perform his first pleasant act of the evening.

“i missed you.”

⋆｡°✩₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧₊ °✦

OH MY BBY SAE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN SPAIN😭😫😢