Is Making A 2014 Dr Where You Are Tumblr Famous A Recession Indicator

　　　we were always going home ,

yes, i have shifted, more than ten times, if you’re the sort who counts miracles like matchsticks or notches on a headboard. i am not. i do not tally my miracles like debts to be repaid. they arrive not as triumphs, but as returns. familiar. like a song i almost forgot i knew until i was humming it again, accidentally, under the breath of my dreaming.

i do not care if you believe me. i say that without spite. belief was never a prerequisite for truth. you do not have to clap for the moon to rise, nor bow to the ocean to be pulled under. reality does not ask for applause. it simply is.

i shifted after four years. four years of thinking maybe i was broken in some exquisite, cosmic way, cracked just wide enough to want, never wide enough to have. four years of collecting every method like seashells, pressing each one to my ear and listening for home. sometimes i heard static. sometimes i heard blood. sometimes i heard nothing at all. 

there were nights i didn't think i'd live to see morning. i say that with the softest voice possible, not for pity, but because it's true. i don't mean metaphorical dark nights of the soul, i mean the real ones. the kind where your body's still, but your mind is clawing at the walls, begging for a window. the kind where shifting wasn't some spiritual hobby or escapist whim, but a lifeline. a rope thrown into the pit.

i don't know who i would've been if i hadn't believed. not the glowing kind of belief. not the pretty kind. but the cracked, ugly kind. the kind that crawls. the kind that gasps, "please, just let me wake up somewhere else."

so when i say i shifted, i don't say it lightly. it wasn't a party trick. it was a resurrection.

quiet. not cinematic. not some thunderclap of fate. it was a shift like how morning happens, slowly, and then all at once. i remember going to sleep in my room, wrapped in some terrible hoodie, the air stale with the smell of forgetting. and then, like a breath i didn't know i'd been holding: i am there. not will be. not want to be. not maybe one day. i am. right now. here. and there.

it didn't feel like magic. it felt like choosing god, even if you don't know who god is. like giving yourself permission to walk on water not because it's easy, but because the alternative is drowning.

the assumption wasn't loud. it was a hum. a bassline beneath everything. and the moment i tuned into it, the world bent. not to serve me, but to meet me. like it was always trying to.

this is how i got there: i assumed i was there. i used the law.

i wish i had something more elegant to offer. a potion. a spell. a hundred-counted ritual. i don't. i have only assumption. not the performance of it, but the private, unwavering kind. the kind that does not blink. the kind that plants a flag in the dirt and says, "this is mine, because i said so."

i said i was there. so i was. not overnight. not in a blaze of light. it happened like a thread slipping through the eye of a needle, one slow stitch at a time. i told the air around me that my dr was real. i told the silence. i told the toothbrush in my hand, the toothpaste cap i dropped on the floor, the moth blinking against the bathroom light.

i didn't have to fight for it anymore. i didn't have to prove myself worthy. desire is not a courtroom, and the universe is not a jury. i stopped begging. i started being. and slowly, the scaffolding of this reality dissolved.

this wasn't faith. faith is something you carry with trembling hands. this was certainty. this was sitting still long enough for the river to realise it already knew your name. this was recognising that shifting was not a door you unlock with the right key, but a room you have already lived in. the furniture remembers your weight. the walls still echo your voice.

i shifted because i remembered.

and i kept remembering. even when it felt stupid. even when it hurt. even when the forum girls sighed and the scripting girls cried and the cynics said i was lost in a fantasy. maybe i was. but so is everyone. some people just settle for worse ones.

this is what i know: you can get there too. you are not cursed. you are not exempt. the moment you stop performing belief and start inhabiting it, like a house, like a skin, like an inheritance, you will see.

it is not far. it is next. it is with. it is just beyond the veil of doubt, waiting to be spoken aloud like a name that's always been yours.

you do not have to be special. you do not have to be chosen. you do not need a voice in the sky or a star to fall at your feet. you only need to decide. quietly. daily. like it's brushing your teeth. like it's feeding the dog. like it's the most ordinary miracle in the world.

let it be that simple. let it be that unremarkable. you were never meant to earn it. only to remember it. only to open your hands and realise they've been holding the key the whole time.

assume. not with fear, but with fondness. not with hunger, but with homecoming.

and if you don't believe yet, pretend. not out of desperation, but out of reverence. act like you are there not because it will trick the world, but because it will tune you to it. reality doesn't respond to panic. it responds to presence.

so say the toothbrush is yours. say the air smells different. say the cereal tastes sweeter. say the light is warmer. say your name with a little more certainty. you don't need proof. you are the proof.

and do not ask yourself how again. ask when. ask what now. ask am i ready to walk through the door i've been holding shut with both hands all this time?

because the door is open. the light is on. your seat is warm. your name is carved in the table.

come back.

i think the key difference between george lucas's star wars and disney's star wars is that lucas is a man with an ideology. someone with a point of view, and all that entails. which comes with ideas of revolution, anti-imperialism, challenging the status quo, cultural appropriation and racist stereotypes. complex and contradictory ideas because that's how artists are: complex and complicated people. disney is not. disney is a corporation. a corporation can't have ideology, because ideology defeats the purpose of profit. and when the only thing you do is to turn on the movie manufacturing machine before you sit down and plan what ideas are you trying to convey to the audience, then your results are going to be washed out corporate garbage. and because when you're a giant corporation who only cares about selling to the widest audience possible, you can't take sides. you can't decide on an idea. because you want to sell your product to people who are on the entire political spectrum. which results in movies without ideology, without purpose, without soul.

They’re so silly

sometimes i remember that if i'd given up on shifting, i'd never know how they warm they are when they hold me. never know what it feels like to be the wish granted. to be wanted in a room like light. to be seen, beautiful, not just forgiven. to have laughter that isn’t borrowed. to have friends, not people, friends

　　　how to banish resistance effectively , resistance is not some grand cosmic force, sadly, it’s a habit. so stop. here’s how.

you are not your thoughts. they are not a mirror, not a diagnosis, not proof of failure. they’re just noise. when your brain spits out, 'this isn’t working,' don’t argue, don’t spiral, don’t even take it seriously. let it sit there. watch it fade. because it will. so stop identifying with intrusive thoughts. 

resistance only survives if you start negotiating with it. the second you start dissecting a doubt, you’re trapped in its logic. don’t play along. when you get a thought like 'what if this isn’t working?,' just let it sit there unanswered, like an awkward question in a conversation you’ve already checked out of. give it nothing to work with.

resistance is only as powerful as the attention you give it. redirect your thoughts. immediately. to anything. every time doubt creeps in, think of something else. return to your assumption, your end goal, your desired reality. do it without hesitation. "but what if. ." no. "but i don’t feel. . .," don’t let resistance become the main thing. replace it, move on.

people act like doubt means something. it doesn’t. it’s just a feeling. a chemical reaction in your brain that passes, like hunger, like tiredness, like any other mood. let it exist without letting it define anything. don’t resist it, don’t analyse it. just let it float by like a passing car outside your window. not your car, not your problem. make peace with discomfort. 

assume your power. resistance is a relic of a mindset that no longer serves you. you don’t have to fight it, you don’t have to fix it. you just have to stop believing in it. act like someone who already has what they want, and let resistance dissolve into irrelevance. it was never real to begin with.

stop treating resistance like an enemy to be defeated. it’s not a force, it’s a habit. and habits break the moment you stop giving them power.

I can't believe I'm literally using food as motivation to shift, but...

I MEAN- LOOK AT THIS!

i’ve realized that i don’t want to wake up in my dr. i want to start perceiving those realities in such odd situations that i KNOW i shifted. like i will shift to my better reality when my dr self is in the shower before going to school. or i will shift to my hogwarts drs while putting in my uniform or something. idk it just seems more fun that way.

alex consani is so beautiful i am stealing her face for my smosh dr . you heard me.

Sometimes I suddenly remember “hey you actually get to meet them and be in love with them in person for the rest of eternity” and I fucking lose it and kick my feet and giggle and I feel like I’m about to explode I love them so much