I'm Just Kind Of Venting/talking To Miself... The Tldr Is Im Sad And My Cat Died A Year Ago... It's Her

i'm just kind of venting/talking to miself... the tldr is im sad and my cat died a year ago... it's her chenniversary

exactly one year ago i had one of the lowest points in my life

like i'm still not better but... y'know... holding on i guess

i was having Feelings about struggling to do anything w my life and feeling the years creeping up on me. and then my cat died suddenly overnight.

there were no indications that anything was wrong before then, i just woke up that morning and she was completely still and cold.

i wanted so badly to reach out and have someone to talk to. like i actually went as far as trying to join a discord group (big for me) but i still couldn't talk about it. i don't really know how to talk to people as it is... and how can you drop such a downer on a group of strangers like that.

tbh i've been struggling with being able to enjoy things and get excited about things like i used to... i'm like... sad and defensive... i don't have any community or friends w common interests (or any community or friends but shh)

so i just kind of stewed on it by myself. i thought i was gonna like... die from sad.

so yeah... yesterday i made a sherry log (in a circle, bc she was always curling up in a little black circle) and today i'm gonna go pick some flowers for her little memorial stone