Making Myself Sad In Five Words: “Say Hello To Uncle Parker”

LMFAO INCREDIBLE. IMMACULATE.

Thank you, Harlan, you feed us so well.

“…who?”

GOT ‘IM. ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

Old favorite character divorced, new favorite character acquired.

I think Malevolent fans should give Arthur the Jonathan Sims treatment of giving him longer hair as the story goes on. Cuz for like(I’m guessing) for all of s2 he is stuck in the Dreamworld and has no was to cut his hair. I NEED John getting mad a Arthur because he can’t see.

Unfortunately I don’t have it written down. I figured it out by ear from mr guthrie’s bandcamp: https://malevolentcast.bandcamp.com/track/faroes-song-piano-only

(Is this how one replies to a reblog? I don’t know how tumblr works lmao)

Ah yes, the brainrot is developing nicely

what I really like about all these vintage couple’s portraits is that there is a very certain romatic decorum kept up – certain themes and poses – which, while of course being the mainstream preferred view of couples repeated throughout many studios, are just… so nice to look at. 

this staged affection, a mix of theatricality and intimacy, the couple holding still for a couple of moments and now immortalised in a very set sequence of embraces and kisses. there is a charm to it even when I can’t tell whether this was a genuine couple portait or just actors hired by the photographer.

the kiss on the bare shoulder (eyes perfectly averted), the cheek caress, the piano and the violin, the interrupted embrace, the woman tilted back as in a half-stopped dance…

What follows was intended to be a brief elaboration, but turned into a progressively more unhinged essay looking at a component of Arthur’s descent into madness. I’m not keeping this shit in my notes app, so if it survives, it will have to be here.

In the Sad Parent Poem -as I like to call it- Arthur tells his younger self that it wasn’t his fault. Growing up in that family structure, at least in my experience, you don’t see your parents as people like you. It’s like feeling weird when you see your teacher buying groceries. They are your world, and you are theirs, and that’s it. So for them to decide to dip- I can only imagine how a child would interpret that.

Maybe after investigation(by family or police) Arthur learned that this happened because his parents were Cultists. It was Their fault and not his. In the Sad Parent Poem, he also tells his younger self to “swallow all the hate.” I first interpreted that to mean ‘don’t blame your parents, the hate will only weigh you down.’ But now it seems like he stopped expressing his hatred, and swallowed it - pushed it down and let it fester for years. But a part of him always believed that it *was* his fault, and in reality the hatred was a way to distance himself from that feeling.

And then he (ostensibly) impregnated his wife and she died in child birth. But hey, at least your daughter survived to be all that’s left of her, to be your whole world, to prove that you are better than your parents… Whoops, you hyper focused on piano for a few minutes too long and now she’s dead and it is undeniably Your Fault.

I hc that it’s at this point he goes to the US to, ya know, Escape the Pain. After a few years, he lets himself get close to another person- his business partner, Peter “Parker” Yang🕷. Whoops you opened a book and now your bestie’s dead. Bonus points, you hid his body and then practically forgot about it due to Imminent Danger.

But hey, at least you have a voice in your head who you can’t possibly lo- Whoops he’s gone too. But hey, at least Cultist Bad. It’s Not Your Fault Because Cultist Bad. At least you have that. Oh wow eye bestie’s back! Something good actually happened to you. Maybe you can hold on to someone! This reminds you of that dead bestie… oh fuck you have a whole dead bestie that you haven’t even thought about. And then you became besties with his murderer. You didn’t even have the courtesy to mourn him. What the fuck is wrong with y- What’s that, Eye Bestie (murderer of Dead Bestie)? You say Cultist NOT Bad? You say ME bad for not helping?! I try to help, but yoU SAY CULTIST DEAD AND IS MY FAULT?!!? SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTUPSHUTUP I HATE YOU …hence the negative reaction, probably

Kayne is kinda my favourite

kicking the door down to talk about blood and sand and the difference parker yang made in the life of arthur lester 

so the recipe i’ve found and used for a blood and sand cocktail is equal parts scotch, sweet vermouth, cherry liqueur, and orange juice. this drink is sweet. parker looked at this sad sad man and his scotch and said “if you’re drowning your sorrows you may as well change it up every now and then, yeah?”

arthur “secret sweet tooth” lester who’s been intentionally depriving himself of anything kind tasting this cocktail and sharing it with a stranger who just keeps coming back and eventually becomes his best friend. 

parker yang and the bitter-sweet tang of scotch and cherry and orange and the hint of light in a dark tunnel that arthur’s been stuck in for a very long time

At some point we have to talk about how Uncle fixed the music box and then sat alone listening to it until he was stabbed in the back by the living embodiment of a dry spaghetti noodle, but instead of snapping him in half, he punted him out of the way, fled, and hid in a bedroom.

Uncle, the guy who was turned into a monster by someone who was supposes to take care of him, and who was made to kill on command. And then got intentionally abandoned in a mansion at night with the aforementioned murderous noodle-man.

Fuck shit. Fuck. Not the Parker lore my heeeeaaaaaarrttttt

@kkachis

I don’t know how to reblog w a video ;_;

It uhhh…. It sure is something. I got the notes to play at more or less the right times, and I consider that an accomplishment. I later tried pitching down an irl violin for the “cello” and it was somewhat promising. The chorus bit is the waltz and it… exists.