I Think Cis Girls Can Have A Packer As A Treat

My gender today is a cookie tin that actually holds cookies, not a sewing kit. Surprise.

The outfit

So if someone is asexual they have dress like a nun or something???

My gender today is a cat flavored uncrustable with the crimped edges removed

My gender today is finishing the dishes backlog...finally!

My gender today is this image of my dog macho (I think he's yawning)

[Imade ID: a chihuahua terrier with tan fur and grey markings curled up on a blue blanket. His mouth is open in a yawn and he's side-eying the camera. End ID]

My gender today is Dick the Birthday Boy, but also simultaneously the 'Friend' next to him (right).

[Image ID: A little boy in a blue shirt with "Dick the Birthday Boy" on it standing next to a mascot of unknown species (probably a rat). On the table in front of him is a cake and a little girl sits on the table looking at the cake. End ID]

My gender today is a really loud dad sneeze in a wind tunnel

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

My gender today is a well-meaning corn creature shooing raccoons away from my cat's food.

best way I have found to comfort people who are endlessly apologetic of things outside their control (often as a result of shitty relationships) is the jokingly hyperbolic accusation of [gasp] "so you're behind it all!"

like someone giving me directions who starts apologizing profusely when I miss a light as if it's their fault--[gasp] "it was you who petitioned city council to build this intersection in 1893!!" because it snaps them out of it and they laugh like. oh yeah. that's a ridiculous thing to blame someone for. I'm not that guy. you're not that guy. it works.