September is Suicide Prevention Month and I wanted to share some reminders
suicide should not be labeled as “selfish”. people who commit suicide are in incredible pain and think there’s only one way out. that pain is unimaginable if you’ve never experienced it. think about what drove the victim to do it, not just what you think about it
not all suicidal people will self harm or commit suicide. many struggle to live everyday, but continue on. this doesn’t mean that their struggle isn’t as important as those who are actively life threatening
self harm is not an indicator of suicidal thoughts all the time. many people who self harm do it for a release from the pain, not to die. this doesn’t mean their struggle is less important because they aren’t actively suicidal. but it’s also important to keep an eye on them because the release from pain can turn deadly very quickly, and they may become suicidal over time
suicidal people don’t think about dying all the time. they can have moments of happiness, anger, love, compassion, and any other emotion. they can also still be suicidal when they’re not in immediate danger.
speaking of moods, if a suicidal person suddenly is very calm, it’s best to check on them. they may have come to terms with a plan to commit suicide and need help. yes, it can be just a good mood, but it can be life saving to check in on them
being suicidal is not attention seeking. people who are suicidal need help and attention, yes, but they aren’t feeling this way to get it.
suicidal people may not be suicidal because they want the pain to stop. they may feel like people are better off without them, that no one will miss them, they’re tired of reliving trauma, or they just can’t imagine a future with them in it
many suicidal people who make it past their expected death don’t know how to continue on in life. if someone has spent the last few years thinking they won’t make it past a certain age, becoming an adult or getting older and having new challenges can be very difficult to handle because they didn’t plan for it. this is why having a therapist or counselor even once they’re out of the direct suicidal thoughts is important
having someone to cry to and call when you need help is one of the most effective suicide preventers. if a suicidal person thinks they can come to you, please be there for them, it may just save their life
suicidal people may be living for things you don’t see as important, like tv show or waiting for a new book to come out. don’t shame people for what’s keeping them alive, it’s better than nothing
that’s just the beginning of stuff to know about suicidal people and suicide in general. please call a hotline or text a service if you are in crisis. from personal experience as someone who’s been suicidal, i know how hard it is to pick up that phone, but i promise you someone is there to help
hotlines —
My gender today is a ceramic ice cube melting inside a snowglobe
I don’t know how universally relevant this is (I guess no part of queer history ever is) but I wonder how many trans people know the history of T&T groups.
Like, in the 90′s and 00′s in the Netherlands almost every trans related groups was a T&T ‘Transsexual and Transvestites’ group and that seemed to also be a quite common thing in other north-west European countries for as far as I can see. Maybe beyond Europe too? I’m not sure.
People who called themselves transsexual and transvestites at the time felt that they had many experiences in common that made organising together valuable and many agreed that there was a large grey area of overlapping identities. With very little information available, a lot of trans women identified as transvestites first, before identifying at trans women (in that period often using the term Male-to-Female transsexual and transwoman without the space between the words).
Then, in about 2007-2012, things changed. Transgender became more popular than transsexual and crossdresser largely replaced transvestite. In those early days, the term transgender was often understood to include crossdressers. The transgender umbrella is from that time:
Back then, the word transgender was seen by many as the umbrella term that would unite all the struggles against gender roles. But that grouping together was far from uncontroversial and a lot of heated debates took place over how broad or narrow the transgender umbrella term should be. Some feared too wide an umbrella would take attention away from transsexuals, others feared it would be confusing, some groups that had previously only had transwomen and transvestites did not appreciate the new presence of transmen and transmasculine people in their transgender community, some felt that it was very important to distinguish binary-identified transsexuals from all sorts of weird non-binary identities.
Those who took part in the debates probably remember the specific standpoints in more detail. For me, I just remember how in 2008-2012 all the T&T groups started changing their names to ‘transgender groups’ and then slowly but surely focussing more on only those transgender people that wanted some kind of transition, physical or social. Eventually, transvestites (or crossdressers, as the common term was by then) disappeared entirely from the transgender groups and a lot of transgender people forgot about the earlier wider meaning of transgender as an umbrella term.
Within that same period, there started to be a LOT of new and fairly positive media attention for transgender issues, specifically transition related atttention. The media was no participant at all in the ‘what does transgender mean’ question but the questions they did ask were ‘are you on hormones yet?’ and ‘did you have the surgery’? Since that was a lot better than ‘so are you mentally ill because you want to be a woman?’ a lot of people who fitted the hormones + surgery narrative eagerly accepted this ‘positive visibility’ and did not question the narrow focus. This further cemented the view that transgender meant transition.
And the transgender activists? Well, let’s just say many of them, knee deep in a struggle against terrible health care and cruel human rights violations, leaped at the opportunity to seize the momentum and finally make some changes and many didn’t really give much thought to the slow disappearance of transvestites from the newly named ‘transgender’ community.
So where are we now, in 2018?
The transgender community seems to have largely forgotten about their T&T history. The terms transvestite and crossdresser both seem to be in decline, as are the communities that meet around those identities. Younger people who don’t fit the gender binary but also do not desire social or physical transition, are now more likely to identify themselves as some kind of genderqueer and nonbinary or just ‘not into labels’ or just to wear whatever they want and rock it. Some of them find their way back under the transgender umbrella after all. Which I guess is some kind of a happy ending.
But then theres the question of recognizing our legacy. I don’t think a lot of these young people realise that, had they been born 20 years earlier, many of them would probably have found a home in the transvestite community. I don’t think a lot of young transgender people recognize older transvestites as their elders, who paved the way for them. I often get the impression that they view the dwindling groups of 50+, 60+, 70+ transvestites with an element of disdain, as people who held on to a regressive binary identity, instead of as like - their badass grandfather-mothers who build parts of trans history.
best way I have found to comfort people who are endlessly apologetic of things outside their control (often as a result of shitty relationships) is the jokingly hyperbolic accusation of [gasp] "so you're behind it all!"
like someone giving me directions who starts apologizing profusely when I miss a light as if it's their fault--[gasp] "it was you who petitioned city council to build this intersection in 1893!!" because it snaps them out of it and they laugh like. oh yeah. that's a ridiculous thing to blame someone for. I'm not that guy. you're not that guy. it works.
My gender today is a young adult cowering from a sizzling bacon pan behind an open fridge door
DOES THIS SAY MUTUALS I HAVE TO KNOW
???
...no? It just says Anon? I hope that helps?
My gender is this blanket.
Everyone post a photo of your gender
I'm meat cube pan
the gender performance of dolly parton and bruce springsteen (sources: x x)
JKR literally wrote a manifesto against nonbinary people and trans men, and smeared autistic people while she was at it, so can y'all please stop acting like the JKR bullshit is somehow an issue unique to trans women only?
Stop acting like this isn't a community-wide issue that affects ALL trans people. Especially autistic trans people.
Our trans brothers & nonbinary siblings in the UK deserve better than this. Stop forgetting them. Stop erasing them.
if you came for the gender updates then the tag is #mygendertodayis, if you don't like my reblogs the tag is #gender reblog
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