I Feel Like We Don’t Talk About Things Like This Enough

“jason todd is the angry robin” nope incorrect dick “snuck out of his new foster home in the middle of the night to track down and hopefully murder his parents’ killer” grayson is the angry robin who worked very very hard to turn himself into the symbol of hope and good that robin became and saying it’s jason is a disservice to both jason “robin gives me magic!! :D” todd and dick “i want to save the soul of gotham” grayson

“damian wayne is the scary robin” wrong again! tim “figured out batman and robin’s identity at 9 years old outstubborned batman to become robin beat ras al ghul and the league of assassins and is canonically the smartest member of effectively the smartest family on earth” drake is a terror with a mean streak that most of the robins don’t have and that is much much scarier for being calm and calculating and damian wayne deserves to have his enormous fucking heart recognized

Damian keeps bringing animals to the Cave because back home the al Ghuls have an animal conservatory. He can adopt as many animals as he wants and finds it atrocious that his Father doesn't have one.

Damian: Where are all the animals? *looks around*

Bruce: the what?

Alfred: *raises his eyebrows*

Talia: He doesn't have a conservatory my love, he owns a company

Damian: *crunches his nose*

Batman, leaving his birds in the Justice League’s care for a few days: A few rules for looking after my anklebiters are as follows: Make sure to keep anything peanut away from Tim and don’t let him have cheese. He’s allergic but he’ll try to eat it anyway. Jason needs to be given his space, and don’t interrupt him while he’s reading unless it’s absolutely necessary. Diana stands the best chance of not being shot in that case. Stephanie doesn’t like being alone for too long, and Cass shouldn’t be left alone for too long. Things happen. Duke forgets that not everyone is as sturdy as he is, especially his siblings, Clark I’m trusting you specifically to keep an eye on him. Dick can mostly take care of himself but not if he’s spending too much time taking care of the others, make sure he doesn’t overwork himself. Good luck dealing with Damian, nothing I say is going to help you there except give him some art supplies and keep the knives away from him if you can.

The JLA:

😧

B: [turns to leave and then stops, looking over his shoulder] Hnn… I suppose it’s also fair to warn you that when I called them anklebiters it wasn’t an exaggeration. They will bite if they feel threatened.

JLA:

😨

B, walking out: And if anything happens to my children on your watch, know that I will utilize all of my contingency plans.

JLA:

😰

Leadership Styles

Bruce: So, Damian. I here you've been training Lawton's daughter. I can imagine that working with a young protege can be difficult. I'm proud of you for putting in the effort.

Damian: It's actually not that hard. Zoe has been a very agreeable and cooperative student.

Bruce: Right.... But I'm sure it gets frustrating when she doesn't follow your orders.

Damian: She always follows my orders. I've found communication to be the key.

Bruce: I mean... Kids will be kids. I'm sure she's run off and done something stupid at some point...

Damian: Nope. Never.

Bruce: But-

Zoe: Hey, Damian! I'm ready to go on that mission.

Damian: Oh, you aren't going.

Zoe: What? Why?

Damian: Because you're not ready. You still have much more training to do before you go on a mission like this.

Bruce: *smirks smugly as he wait's for the argument to begin*

Damian: Also, I am emotionally compromised. I care for you deeply and am not ready to see you in the field yet. I would likely spend the whole mission worrying about your safety. I will attempt to work on this, because I do not wish to hold you back, but in the mean time I would appreciate if you stayed here where you're safe.

Zoe: Okay. I understand.... I love you too.

Damian: Thank you. I appreciate you being patient with me.

Zoe/Damian: *share a emotionally meaningful hug*

Bruce: ....

Bruce: What?

Damian: See? Communication. It's really not that hard.

Dick [tears in his eyes]: I taught him to do that.

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

“I live in the north of England, I’m used to freezing cold temperatures”

Oh honey.  That’s what the pilgrims said.  They mostly died.

see, one of the many reasons why klaroline is superior is that caroline, who is a twilight fan, aka the books where the protagonist deliberates between a werewolf and a vampire, gets to date a guy who is both 😏

Basic rules for analysing fiction, an incomprehensive list jotted down in a hurry:

The protagonist isn’t always right

The protagonist isn’t always good

The protagonist isn’t always written to be relatable or likeable

The narrator isn’t always right

The narrator isn’t always good

The narrator isn’t always telling the truth

The narrator isn’t always the author

The protagonist’s moral compass, the narrator’s moral compass and the author’s moral compass are three entirely different things that only occasionally overlap

Pay attention to what characters do and not just what they say

Pay special attention when what the characters do is at odds with what they say

A lot of the time the curtains are blue for a reason. If they aren’t, you should read better books