mushroomwithprongs

Latest Posts by mushroomwithprongs

I laugh about it because I do not want my mom to feel bad about the ways she has destroyed me.

not to repeat myself again but imagine you’re helen pevensie and you send your children away to keep them safe from the war. you send them to the country to keep them alive, keep them children for as long as possible in a war like this.

and then you get them back, and suddenly it feels like you’ve invited war itself into your house. not in the literal sense, arguments now happen quietly and with composure no children should know how to wield. but somehow, whenever you look at them, you think about blood, about death, about enemies felled with weapons too fast for them to notice. it feels like you hugged a man in a trench when you welcomed your children back home.

you feel terrible, but it’s hard for you to be in a room with them all for long. you don’t want to shake war’s hand. war has torn your country apart, war keeps your husband away and in the middle of deadly danger. war should not be sitting in your living room, drinking your tea and eating your food. you’re afraid of war. you don’t want war in your home.

your children should not be the war you wished to keep them safe from.

Lucy Pevensie can be found dancing in the most strange of ways, using steps nobody has ever been taught. Yet somehow, as her classmates watch, her movements always seem to fit the music, Lucy’s feet never faltering. Her classmates find themselves mesmerised every time, hardly able to figure out what Lucy is truly doing. Lucy stops dancing with giggles, her face too bright in the dimmed light. Her classmates quickly look away. 

Edmund Pevensie can climb into the rafters of the gym hall without breaking a sweat. His classmates stare and Edmund sits among the rafters with a satisfied smirk, his legs swinging high above heads. His teacher scolds him, but his classmates dare him to climb the side of the dorms one night and Edmund indulges himself. There is something in the curve of his smile as he looks down at them that makes their eyes focus on anything but him.

Susan Pevensie excels in her swimming lessons, and her classmates insist that there is something strange about her whenever she is in the water. Some girls whisper about mermaids, while others try to catch her out in cheating somehow. They never manage, and Susan comes out of the water with a sharp smile and never seeming out of breath. Her eyes spark with something unattainable and her classmates don’t look directly at her. 

Peter Pevensie doesn’t follow the fencing rules, and everybody know it’s cheating. The teacher tells him off and Peter smiles unapologetically. His classmates are curious and dare him to fight them behind the gym at night. They watch his movement, his steps, the way his quips seem to sound lower than his voice can possibly be. Peter looks strange in the darkness, larger, broader, and his classmates can’t bring themselves to meet his eyes.

Roasting popular cartoons

Gravity Falls:

It took half a season for the fandom to figure out the plot twist

SVTFOE:

Two parents sends their troublemaking daughter to another dimension so she could be someone else’s problem

Danny Phantom:

The world’s greatest ghost hunters can’t tell their own son is half ghost

Miraculous Ladybug:

A guy nearly starts world war 3 just to steal jewelry from two teenagers in a cat and a bug costumes

Steven Universe:

The main character never thinks to ask any important questions

Trollhunters:

Pretty much Danny Phantom but with better writers

Amphibia:

Was supposed to be a show about talking frogs but you end up crying every two episodes

The Owl House:

A girl with mommy issues thinks it’s a good idea to not only live in a literal fantasy world, but to stay in the house of a wanted criminal. Stranger danger kids

Infinity Train:

Who needs therapy when you can ride on a magical train with literally no ending?

There’s some weird vampire shit out there, but you are all forgetting that CBBC made a series about Count Dracula the single dad who moves from Transylvania with his two children…and one just wants to fit in with his new human friends. 

joe and love being murderers who don’t accept anti-vaxxers is on the same level as chucky being a murderer who doesn’t accept homophobia