I'd Rather

I'd Rather

I’d rather be a lot of things

Than myself

On nights like these.

I wish I were someone new

Someone I’ve never seen

Someone who can tell me I’m alright and

There’s nothing wrong

With me.

I’d rather be a mindless beast

Than see humanity again

And I’d rather not wake up

Than face myself again.

I’m scared of myself

And the person I’ll be

And I’d rather be a lot of things

Than myself

On lonely nights like this.

I wish I could just say

How very tired I am

But I’m wrong and I know it

I’m ruined and I know it

Please let me speak

But you won’t

And I know it.

I’d rather do a lot of things

Than try again for you

I’m so tired

I’d rather cry

Than tell you how this feels

I’d rather be ashamed

Than fail again

I’d rather, I’d rather

But that doesn’t change

I’m still myself

On nights like these.

More Posts from Mushrooms010 and Others

4 months ago

dear gods the world does NOT need a Cult of the Lamb x 40K crossover. Noooo thank you the lamb is already a menace without the chaos gods

combine your first real fandom with your current one to create a terrible, terrible au


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1 month ago

Christianity and hate (Ice cold take guys)

YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU PROMOTE HATE.

YOU'RE NOT.

I don't care what verse you cite. I don't care what justification you give. Christianity is about LOVING OTHERS. THIS IS WHAT PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE LEAVE. If you look at someone and say they are lesser because of xyz, you're NOT CHRISTIAN.

People I know and that I see that have the audacity to go ahead and say you can't curse and then use the lord's name in vain because 'this is an abomination!' just make me SO MAD. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.

[Coloured text- YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.]


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9 months ago

Warm buttered bread for all :D

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals


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1 month ago

reclusive child with elaborate imagination and maladaptive daydreaming to plural teenager who doesn’t identify with thier own body anymore pipeline is unfortunatelg real


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5 months ago

C.A.R.E and M.I.N.E

These two poems are part of a set of four, so that's why H.O.P.E. is mentioned!

C.A.R.E. is for

Concern for those around me, even if it’s not reflected

A is for altruism- work in progress, but I’ll try

R for resilience because that’s what I’ll need to practice, and

Effusion for e because four walls can’t stop my thoughts

C.A.R.E. stands for care and nothing more

Because caring is a skill I will learn to adore

C.A.R.E. is to experience the world

Painful and confusing though it ends up at times

But I won’t stay in these walls forevermore

Because I’ve only ever learned outside of the halls

C.A.R.E. is how I’ll start to live

Even if I begin to wish the box was still with me

Only with the will to fly will I reach the sky

And only from the heights will my path begin to be mine.

———————

M.I.N.E. is for

M will be for mindful, learning to adapt

I is for inspired by those around me every day

N is for natural and being me in my entirety

E is back to effervescent because that’s who I want to be

M.I.N.E. is for a willingness to grow

Because now I want to learn how nobody is the same

I’m fascinated, please, teach me what you know

Let me make a library and place your book inside

M.I.N.E. to adapt and overcome

The way it’s uncomfortable will show me how to grow

Nothing good ever came without struggle, so I know

Giving up is easy, but I will keep moving on.

And a fall is just an opportunity

To learn and fly again

H.O.P.E. wasn’t right, in the end

M.I.N.E. for the person I want to be

C.A.R.E for the person I owe it to

Giving up is easy but M is to be mindful

Of my actions and the consequences that they will always bring

So giving up is easy, but I will learn to fly.


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1 month ago

Having adult mutuals is so funny to me, cause like you mean to tell me legal adults want to hear what a random fifteen year old has to say? Sweeet

4 months ago

Be Openly Scary

Society is scared of a lot of things it shouldn't be. A lot of those things can't be helped, a lot of those things don't hurt anyone, and a lot of those things are not what people even think they truly are.

So you know what?

Talk about your hallucinations, your delusions, your psychotic symptoms. Share things about your gender identity whether it be nonconforming, trans, xenogender or anything else. Scream about your nonhumanity and animal urges. Be open and unwavering about your systems existence, presenting as more-than-one wherever you want. Use and introduce your pronouns, even if people find them weird or offputting. Rock back and forth, pace, twitch and stim in any way you please. Wear things that reflect your identity in public. Get tattoos and body mods to your heart's content. Tell people about your personality disorders.

Don't make yourself small because others can't handle you. Be open where safe. Be you. Be scary.

1 month ago
Dogmoding At School Rn 🐺

Dogmoding at school rn 🐺

WOOF!

1 month ago

ooooo, fun game to play? Am I Faking Having Headmates And It's All A Hallucination?? Extra hard mode activated: have had extra hallucinations and intrusive thoughts lately, so there's no way to tell!!


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9 months ago

A painful light

A burning fire

Heart alight

With one desire

I burn for you

Like a funeral pyre.

Can you be

what I require,

Or shall we dance

Till I expire?


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mushrooms010 - Mushroom lover
Mushroom lover

Hii!I'm just gonna put writing on here methinks. Currently really like COTL and Warhammer40k/horus heresySHOUTOUT TO YOUR-OLDER-GOTH-BROTHER THAT GUY IS COOLPrns: He/Him It/Its Xey/XemHave a good day/night!!!Literally nobody is here anyways but go away homophobes and transphobes

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