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Somn

The night falls, and the man lays down to rest. After he falls asleep, something within his body awakens. Something ancient, something strange. Something more like a fungus than a man. It craves the ability to live as his host does, walking about and talking, running, dancing, fighting. However, it has no muscle memory of doing so. It pulls at the man’s body, jerking his limbs until he is eventually on his feet, eyes rolled back, staring blankly ahead. With great effort, the entity pilots the man to walk, one step at a time. Upon reaching the door, the entity struggles to understand the concept of a doorknob. It contorts the man’s arm to smack against it several times, caressing it strangely, before eventually managing to grasp it and open the door. Faced with a new world and full of excitement, the ancient being calls out in excitement, but the man’s mouth only mumbles nonsense. With great effort, it begins to pilot the body down the hall. Suddenly, a voice is heard. “Paul? Paul? What are you doing up, dear?” The entity scrambles for a reply, but can only manage to make the lips form the words “a green camel for the winds.” in reply. A light clicks on, and the man awakes, banishing the entity once more. He stands and blinks, wondering how he got here. “Are you sleepwalking, dear?” He scratches his beard for a moment before replying, “I must have been. Don’t worry love, I’m coming back to bed.” And so, having been caught, the entity rests. Lying in wait for another night, another chance to live like the living.

Some commissioned articles

still overreacting. guys. I feel so bad rn. D:

YES?? Please and thank you?? Some completely normal attacking mutuals I appreciate the thought and would enjoy

Y’all ever just want to play wrestle someone and it not get sexual? Like, I just want to throw and be thrown, and then we lay there, winded and laughing, side by side, too tired to get up, just having a good and wholesome time. Doesn’t that sound fun? Why must everyone try to make it weird?

I have gone fragilely numb

I know this sounds quite dumb.

You strike me and I will ache

Yet there is no joy that I can take.

The only sensation that can

Reach into my brain

Is nothing like bliss

But only dull pain

There is no escape

From eternal ache

I scratch

and I scrape

Like a mouse

On the tape

But there’s still

no escape

Silent scream

Mouth agape

Mind reduced

To an ape

But there’s still

no escape

My heart tears

And then breaks

But there’s still

no escape

So I give up on my self

Fall prey to self hate

I struggle in vain

But there’s still

no escape

I wonder what it’s like to be normal If anyone normal really exists And if they do, what does it feel like? If it hurts less Or if they’re hollow on the inside Fitting in flawlessly with the world around them I’m dying to know If it’s worth it or if it means losing what’s inside me When I see a normal girl living a normal life I wonder if her insides are twisting like mine Or if she really is as glossy as she looks I’m dying to taste normal just for a second To see if it exists To see if it’s worth it Or if I’m better off Unclean

Embodiment of War, Shamura

How Many Ways To Say

How many ways

Can there possibly be

To tell you how I feel

Again and again?

I’m running out of words

Someone wind me up again

I’m so tired, I’m so tired

Of looking at the pages

That are my sole escape

My mind is buzzing

With things I wish I had the courage to say.

And I’m still wondering now

How many ways

Can there possibly be

To say how I’m not normal?

How many times

Must I scream

I am not a daughter

Before I’m finally told

That nobody wants to hear it?

Stop lying to me

Stop telling me you understand

Because I’m so tired

Of this body

And the way it’s winding down

I’m running out of words

Someone please tell me 

How many ways

Can there possibly be

To tell you I’m not ok?

And now you’ve scared me

Now I’m silenced

And yet you think it’s fine

I’m not ok, I’m not alright!

Someone tell me that’s ok

Someone tell me I’m not a freak

Even if I don’t believe

How many ways

Can there possibly be

To say I’m so damn tired?

I am nothing, I am nothing

I am not your daughter

I’ve never been but now I wonder

How many ways

Can there possibly be

For you to say

You don’t care?

Cause I’m running out of air

And I’m running out of words

Someone wind me up again

How many ways

Are there to say

That I am not your daughter?

i think i've loved you

in every lifetime

on every planet

in every universe

that i have ever lived in.

it's like it's hardwired into me.

i think that's why

i can't move on,

why i can't stop loving you

no matter how hard i try.

it's impossible.

you're in my brain chemistry.

you're in my bones.

-mars