I NEED HER SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Heavy and Sniper Headcanons. Because there's literally no one talking about them :c

(they can be romantic or platonic, I don't care. I just wanted to write something about them)

They are good friends even if no one realizes. They like to spend time together in silence, sitting next to each other for long hours is comforting. They are accompanied by a good friend but they do not have the need to engage in a long and uncomfortable conversation.

Sniper doesn't usually read much, but he has some favorite books. Heavy isn't a big fan of Sniper's books, but he appreciates the original style and can understand what Sniper sees as special about those books. Sniper feels important that a person with a PhD in literature praises his tastes in literature (even though Heavy does it more out of commitment than because he really likes Sniper's books)

Heavy doesn't often see Sniper on the battlefield. But Sniper regularly checks if there is no Spy stalking Heavy (Spoiler, Spy was behind Sniper this whole time)

Since they both live in places far from where they work, when they have vacations that aren't long enough to make the round trip, they prefer to go hunting together. They usually camp, get fresh air, leave the confines of the base for a while and the most fun, hunt! Sniper is still proud of the time he shot a bear to death (Heavy helped him find the perfect spot, but he preferred to give all the credit to Sniper because he likes to see Sniper happy and excited)

Sniper is used to whispering and Heavy still has to think about his words before speak (speaks slowly). Listening to them talk makes everyone sleepy, but they like to be able to talk to someone who isn't yelling (like Soldier)

Nobody believes that Heavy and Sniper are gossips because they are both quiet people. Nobody knows that between the two of them they know every gossip in the base.

Sniper becomes an Ice block in winter and Heavy melts in summer. They make fun of each other for not being able to withstand extreme temperatures.

new headcanon: engie speaks spanish but he speaks it like this

(pov : you are waiting here to see medic)

Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

Odd conversations

TF2 Mercs x M!Shy!Reader

Scout

Honestly likes how shy and quiet you are because it makes him seem more macho (not just for that reason ofc but still)

Likes teasing you in public with whispers in your ear or sneaky PDA that makes you jump and squeak

Jeremy is very protective and possessive. Very "Is this guy bothering you? Nah, nah, I'll kill him for fucking with my boo!"

He shows off a lot to impress you, but also is fine with failing because you either laugh at the stupidity or fuss over him after.

Soldier

Jane is a little hard headed sometimes and sometimes gets frustrated about things he doesn't understand. Like at a restaurant, he has trouble really understanding why you have issues telling the waiter your order was wrong.

Talks for you a lot (/lovingly but ohhhh my goddd)

Soldier means well and loves your more reserved nature, but he also wants to show you the world! This causes some communication issues.

Pyro

Kind of babies you a little and loves being the leader and guiding you around places

Overprotective like Scout, but a lot more supporting rather than confronting.

Shares their balloonicorn with you 🥺🥺🥺

Pyro is fine with being an introvert lover, so absolutely is fine with cuddle dates and movie nights

Demoman

This man TEASES. Like, NEVER STOPS. Scout on steroids.

Whispers dirty things in your ear in public and adds a little "Aww, why are you so flustered? Only you heard the nasty things I wanna do to you."

His favorite thing to do to you in public is put his arm over your shoulders and pull you in close- maybe just a little too close for friendly PDA- but most people brush it off as "drunken balance issues"

Loves when you squeak and squirm behind closed doors, the way you shy away from even kisses.

Engineer

Doesn't push it in public and usually gives you your space. If people give you a hard time in public, he gets rather protective in that kind southern sternness.

In private, he's a lot more lovey and sweet on you. Pet names. Kisses. Teasing.

He's not too dirty minded about the teasings since he's a little worried about making you uncomfortable. Usually he lets you make the signals before he takes initiative.

Dell loves giving you knowing looks in public to make you blush, but that's the most he'll ever do in public.

Heavy

This man keeps you safe like a baby bunny in a big bear's arms. Any attempt to even look at you is met with a glare and an escort out of the room.

Scary dog privilege energy fr. As long as you're around you don't have to worry about your orders at restaurants being wrong or people looking at you! They're all busy staring at your man!

Heavy loves picking you up and carrying you around to keep you safe- but even that is embarrassing! As you cover your face, Heavy mumbles in your ear :

"Why so nervous? You like my strength when we're alone."

Medic

RIP man, this mf is ruthless. He loves to fluster you any and everywhere he can. Your shyness is a game to him and Medic is top of the leaderboard.

Somehow he's even able to sweettalk you when under the knife! You're not sure if it was out of genuine opportunity to flirt or to see your physical heart accelerate.

Has probably pavlov'd you into blushing whenever he speaks German let's be honest

The most out and proud about your relationship. What are they going to do, fire their only good Medic?

Sniper

Since he's rather introverted himself, he's not one for PDA or flustering you in public. In private he's a little more lovey-dovey.

Mans likes smacking your ass when you walk by or when you're turned away from him. He thinks it's funny when you cover your butt when you walk by him.

Mundy likes murmuring sweet nothings only occasionally, believing that sweet words matter most when the moment is right.

He is the resident "fine, I'll be the group extrovert" between you two and usually handles social situations and talking.

Spy

Oh he thinks your shyness is absolutely adorable. You know what you want, but just can't muster up the words out of mortification? It totally gets him going to give you exactly what you want.

Flowery words, actual flowers, and frequent date nights as "business partners". Of course business partners give brief kisses before a meal- it's a French thing! (jk jk)

Has an entire mental file on what flusters you the most in each situation. His favorite way is to sneak up behind you, put his hand on your shoulder, and whispering in your ear.

He has worried about you choking in his smoking area due to all your hyperventilation, so he makes a habit of airing out the smell of cigarettes and marijuana.

these idiots are not my otp buuuuuut. i’m doin’ the 30 day challenge for them anyway. (in doodle/comic form, because there’s no way i could produce decent art every single day for a month). let’s see if i can keep up.

day one: holding hands (after a victory)

For the kiss challenge, Heavy/Sniper, 3?

here u go

tears started welling in my eyes I'm so serious right now.

they're silly