(from "on The Settled Life") Sitting Against A Little Light In The Dark Struck Across A Flash Of Strange

(from "my secret place")

in my most secret place

there's an ugly secret hidden so my eyes

had always glistened, but now the whole earth

collapsed, the atmosphere frozen,

bodies that unsightly entangled rolling

over the frozen wasteland, and my eyes

no more glisten and my ugly secret

is no longer a secret and my most

secret place lost its meaning.

(from "fragments of ennui")

grains of white dust, stickily settled on the void

floundering flies, trapped in the air

red bones and damp wet soil

the black nail, cursing its own death

yellow lumps of fat, morbidly

poured into the drain

the caprice of flies and the malice of spiders

the only things that smile at us

in the void on the blade

the power of anxiety, a deadly greed that melts

the brain, among them, what blue anxiety

likes the most, air and resistance

admiration and contempt, something like love and hate,

something like the foolish youthful heart

toward a beast living only on instinct

ideas and trivial jokes

reality, illusions, delusions, ideals

compassion, denial, turning away, darkness

regret, death, loss, past, faith, distrust, doubt

an empty black mouth like the whitened

cloudy eyes of a turtle

Fire, sea, fall.

the sea, always the abject of fear

not even a handful of void

did the sea allow

(from "a candlelight") there's a candlelight in my heart that always precariously flickers with their own eyes with their own blue lines it's a meaningless world for truth say their own eyes, say their own blue lines, but my candlelight would never flicker like this ravingly if they're right

(from "Inside of the Lush Forest") you were just lying in there as a body you were just lying in there with silent breaths you were just lying in there with silent breaths, trembling with fear from a sign of someone you were just lying in there with silent breaths, being disgusted with the world and melting into the earth you were just lying in there with silent breaths, taking a peaceful nap you just arbitrarily lied down in there and rolled around, crushing all kinds of wild flowers you just arbitrarily lied down in there and were bitten by bees, a grasshopper and a mantis and cried like a kid you just arbitrarily lied down in there and were bitten by a snake and dying in vain you just arbitrarily lied down in there and were sleeping peacefully until the middle of the night.

(from "When Spring Came, the Teacup Broke")

When spring came,

the teacup broke

Tears welled up

in the wind

The wind blew

and silence fell

And the world is always

a bright day

without

shadows

Blind faith

blights us

so the face disapproved

of my death

In my last moments,

the back gradually became distant

The face

wasn't seen

The other

face was also

When spring came,

the teacup broke

Silence, wind, solitude,

nothing allowed.

(from "Social Animals")

What's the most depressing is

To hear hopeful words

From their feigned concern;

If they don't see with their own eyes

They never believe or even

Imagine something in you

And if you hurry to dance

To their tune to shut their mouths

They eventually fail to contain

Their sincerity, just burst into a laugh.

(from "The Loss") I still can't believe there is an end. What I want to believe is an eternity.

(from "An Artist")

An artist is not who's beautiful.

An artist is who makes a mess.

I have a poor mind and always struggled with grasping causality.

Instead of writing, made a mess.

Instead of an artist, became a pathetic fool.

(from 'a wilderness')

in the middle of the world's darkest and most solitary wilderness,

I am just standing still alone.

I cannot sink down.

I have to keep looking

for the light, which is invisible.

as the frigid wind blows,

I tore all the clothes

I was wearing to shreds.

I couldn't get over it without shivering

and feeling the cold more

and more severely.

(from "One Afternoon") lying on the bed where pieces of my lips are scattered, thinking of the short stories of Sait Faik, savoring songs of an inexplicable-named band, wondering if her desperate look in the movie was real,