Spent The Last Week Out Of Town For A Cousins Wedding, Omg Has This Trip Been Wild

hi besties!!! this next monday will be my exam in mr.k’s class. that means after monday i won’t be returning to his class again :((((

despite despite despite

we have what was, and today i have more to talk about.

okay so i think i already talked about how he checks in on me when i miss a day of school, which is frequent due to disabilities of mine. but he’s also very, shall i say, forgiving. he has told me, because i only have two classes and won’t be coming on friday for first period exams, that he isn’t going to mark an absence for the time post-exam for studying. which sounds dumb but the conversation went something like

me: so i don’t have a first period so i just don’t come in on friday?

k: mhm, but if you don’t come in i’ll have to mark you absent…

me: oh…so do i have to come in?

k: we’ll im telling you i’ll just mark you absent

me: …okay…i don’t think i’m picking up the subtext

k: whispering im not marking it as an absence!

then it clicked!

a little while later, i didn’t have work to do, (which btw he never stops telling me how remarkable and amazing my grade is :3) i was reading. and with zero shame i’ll admit i’m a kindle reader. something about it is so motivating to actually read. i’m currently reading black ties and white lies im nearly 50% in and so far it’s alright. mr.k walks up, literally from no where like a fucking ghoul, and starts asking what i’m reading, boarder-line interrogation. (important to note, i was wearing noise canceling headphones, and actively reading a page with filthy filthy words. ) this man is a science teacher, who has admitted to having dropped out of school in his 9th grade and taking a GED course. he HATES reading. and king won’t stop asking about my damn book.

in hindsight i think he must’ve caught a few words from over my shoulder, it is a jarring catch when you pass by a book full of the most sinful snippets. any how, he inevitably gives up as i avoid questions because, y’know, im reading p0rn. he just ends up asking if it’s good, and if he should give it a read.

face, completely beet red. god the thought of him sitting down and reading the words my eyes glaze over and get addicted to is mortifying.

i obviously said “meh, kinda boring” !!!!!!! i lower my eyes to words like “throbbing”, “whine”, and much worse. BORING IS THE LAST WORD ID USE!!!!!!

he makes me dizzy.

Fighting these demons

Every single day the voices in my head whisper to me that I should get a spine tattoo…they’re getting more convincing

an older man would cure me

blah blah something something, lace, bows, thigh highs, white, pink, bras :3

think about how nice it would be if i had a big brother who would bring friends over and see me floating in the pool in my little bikini and base ball cap. my tan legs and arms floating in the water mmmmhm

sundress season means everything to me 🩵 body hugging and flowing skirt, i love wearing a backless sundress out and smiling at all the people who stare🤭

i’ve talked about this before, that i’m not very able to go to school. i have disabilities and mental illness blah blah. it makes school a really tricky thing, don’t get me wrong, i’d live in mr.k’s classroom if it meant i could always be around him! but i haven’t been to school in a month, and haven’t seen mr. k since last semester!

i’m getting greedy. i miss him and i keep rereading his emails and looking at pictures of us. i am genuinely missing him like he’s oxygen and when we last spoke i asked about his new classes, he said “they’re not you..but they’re nice”. i was in one of his first ever classes. this man had never taught solo before last semester and i was one of the first.

i miss him. i’m jealous of all the girls who sit and listen to him everyday. i sometimes wish i would’ve failed his class just so i could retake it. i wish i’d asked more questions, gave him full attention no matter what. i miss him so much.

i really need to go outside and get attention from a man jesus christ it’s like i’m a woman who lost her husband in the war

#needthat

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) / Bojack Horseman (2014-2020) / The Smiths - Pretty Girls Make Graves

protecting each other is more important than hating each other

“girls support girls” no. girls protect girls. I could hate a girl to death and I still wouldn’t take my eyes off her drink at a party, I could hate her like she was the devil but still I wouldn’t make her go back to a man that was beating her.