Peter: Nice Rock.

Bagginshield: *hug* Kili: Damn, these bitches gay Fili: Good for them, good for them

60 years later

Frodo: *kisses Sam on the forehead* Merry: Damn, these bitches gay Pippin: Good for them, good for them

the headcanon was “During hibernation season, Tech will fall asleep anywhere. Much to Phil’s dismay”

How to tell someone you're asexual:

"I'm asexual" ❌️

This is boring and not everyone will get what you mean

My blood line shall end at me" 👍

This makes you seem super cool and makes your point well

"The blood of my ancestors will cease when I eternally rest for I have no intention to breed" ✅️

Makes you seem Shakespeare-esque and articulates your point well 🧐

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

how it feels to be online these days

pink animals are now technoblade, that’s just how it is

Rabbit sized Bunnyblade riding a hound into battle. Adversaries laughing until they learn to fear the bunny.

He is three years old and yearns for blood carrots. Philza promises both to him.

Philza gets captured and manages to send a secret distress message. Technoblade comes and beats everyone up, but doesn't kill them. Philza is still caged.

Technoblade demands more carrots before he opens Phil's cage. Phil tells him he doesn't have any on him. Technoblade leaves him there.

Luckily, with his captors wounded, Philza is able to escape on his own. He immediately sets up a "Philza Ransom Fund" which is just an additional fund that Technoblade can only access if he rescues Philza from being captured.

Technoblade starts throwing Philza at enemies in the hope he gets caught so Technoblade can get the Rescue Phil award.

Philza has to then stipulate that Techno can't have the Rescue Fund if its his damn fault Phil got captured in the first place.

Technoblade is unamused.

Losing it at all of this qdsuiqjkljkdqj that's so fucking funny.

Techno is going to have a field day trying to find some sort of loophole of a situation he can put Phil in that is subtle enough it can't be traced to him but also dire enough to make him legible for the Rescue Phil fund.

Don't stop him Phil, this is bunny enrichment!

Iam sorry I love their Laketown attire *v*