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Teenage Wasteland - Chap. 2 - Bad Music and Good Desires

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Original Work Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Tegan Raines, Samantha Corino Additional Tags: Original Fiction, Young Love, Teenagers, 1990s, Original Character(s), Original Story - Freeform, LGBTQ Female Character, Queer Character, LGBTQ, LGBT, queer Summary:

In the spring of 1997 close to summer break, fourteen-year-old Tegan Raines. A former orphan and foster child, now living with her grandparents. Meets the new girl across the street who, unbeknownst to both, have their lives changed for both the better and the worse.

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wheres the smiling blackfoot family i want to see the smiling blackfoot family

That ending has me so intrigued. I also love Atlas and Rosalyn's dynamic.

On one particularly memorable night, Rosalyn commissioned me to dive into their jewellery box in search of a twin for the singular of a stunning, silver sapphire earring they had found discarded within a desk drawer. The jewels were moulded into a shape of a lily flower- By hand, if Atlas was to be believed. They were a gift, that which he had donated upon Rosalyn's thirtieth birthday.

Since such an event, Rosalyn had worn them to one gala and then, subsequently, allowed the existence of the pair to slip their mind. Why this pair demanded attention on this particular night, I do not know, nor do I particularly think it is of consequence.

Atlas lay upon the bed. To me, he advised, "Make them do it themself. Teach them a little responsibility for their actions."

Rosalyn, stood before an ornamental mirror in the room's centre, scoffed, "My love, nothing could teach me that. Not now. Who learns new things at thirty-seven? What a waste."

Grinning, I produced the earring from the very depths of the heavy, wooden box. Before I could inform either of the pair, Atlas sighed, "Oh, don't know it." He crept up to stand at their side. Elevated upon a footstool, Rosalyn towered over him. Atlas looked up with nothing less than pure adoration in his gaze, "Do you really want those earrings?" He asked, "Because you don't need them by any stretch of the imagination."

Rosalyn's lips parted. For the briefest instant, I feared they intended to submit to rage. My concerns were, thankfully, utterly unfounded. Their voice was light as they replied, "No," They allowed him to lay his hands upon their waist and lift them to the floor, "No, I think I'm alright without them."

Finally, they addressed me, "God, I've got you doing that for nothing, haven't I?" Without pause, they spoke their solution, "Tell you what, there's cash in my office. Use it and buy yourself a takeaway. Anything at all. Menus in the kitchen cupboard."

Closing my fist around the recovered earring, I forced a smile.

"Sounds good."

writing the book was the easy part.

nobody told me how gutting it would be to actually ask people to read it.

to say “this means something to me, will you look?” and sit in the silence after. and then do it again. and again. and again.

i didn’t expect how much of this would feel like screaming into a void in a party dress — trying to be charming, clever, vulnerable, marketable, when all i really want is to tell stories and have someone care.

it’s exhausting. it’s lonely. it’s weirdly intimate.

but i still want it. gods help me, i want it so bad.

so this European clothing retailer decided to advertise their jean cuts on youtube and it's unintentionally the funniest shit I've seen today. why? well.

now important context here: in German, die (pronounced 'dee') is just a feminine article, it literally means "the".

but if an ad gets placed in the middle of an English video and doesn't use a single explicitly German word for most of the ad, even a native speaker is gonna think "they want me to die how?" it keeps getting funnier.

I mean, holy shit

i will use these as reaction images until i die

I am going to make the villain so plural and no one can stop me.

Why "No One Talks Like That" Is Unhelpful

I've been thinking about some unhelpful critiques I have been given in the past and what made them so unhelpful, which lead me to sort of wanting to deconstruct why "no one talks like that" is such a bad critique.

So, things to consider before you give the critique "no one talks like that", which will likely reveal what you're actually trying to say:

Conversational conventions are often different in fictional worlds.

Just because something is normally "uncouth" or "strange" to say in reality, that does not mean the same can be said about fictional worlds. I personally got the "no one talks like that" critique because one of my characters was, supposedly, too blunt about their marriage proposal. This was in a fantasy world where marriage was treated in an extremely practical fashion, the same way someone would treat buying a new house. I got treated as the "person who constantly interrupts people giving critiques because they can't handle it" for simply trying to give my teacher some much needed context. This type of critique is not helpful to anyone, because it completely fails to understand or even attempt to understand author intent. "No one in real life talks like this", yes, and that is the point. To actually give helpful critiques to fantasy dialogue, you need to first understand how that fantasy culture differs from the ones you are accustomed to, and judge the dialogue based on it.

2. When you say "no one talks like that", who are you really referring to? The general population, or the people specifically within your social circle, area, or culture? Because you will likely find it is the latter.

I don't think it's necessarily bad for people to draw from their experiences when giving critiques, but I do think it's important to analyze one's biases in doing so. Before you say, "no one talks like that", always sit down to analyze why exactly you think that, and consider having a proper discussion with the writer about what experiences they are drawing from. As one examples, a straight person who is unfamiliar with queer culture may feel inclined to say "no one talks like that" about queer characters using terms or addressing topics like gender, sexuality, etc. in ways they are not accustomed to. It's not because no one truly talks like that, it's because they are completely unfamiliar with it.

3. Always, always, always consider context.

This ties into the fictional world idea, but goes beyond that. "No one talks like that" can feel extremely tone deaf as a critique if the person isn't properly engaging with the context of a scene or a character. "No one talks like that," okay, but this particular character is stressed and running on adrenaline, they're not exactly meant to be talking normally. "No one talks like that," this is a literal demon from Hell, why should they talk like we do? "No one talks like that," this character is neurodivergent, and it makes complete sense for them to talk like that. Also, keep in mind the genre and the style of the story. Not all stories are trying to have realistic dialogue. You wouldn't criticize a story set in wonderland for having unrealistic dialogue, as this is very much the point. Now, unrealistic does not mean meaningless, which is why considering the context of a story helps you give more specific and helpful critiques when it comes to dialogue.

4. Does nobody talk like that, or is it just socially unacceptable to talk like that? There is a difference.

I mentioned neurodivergent characters, so let me expand on that issue here. There's this attitude I think really needs to be squashed that characters must talk in a neurotypical fashion or else they are badly written, because neurotypical individuals find this easier to understand and see it as more "proper". And it expands to this general attitude I've seen that, if characters are not following certain social rules or etiquette, then the dialogue is badly written. This puts so many constraints on character dialogue that doesn't actually help with character writing.

Sure, not everyone is going to go out to a parking lot and scream profanities to see the shock and horror of those passing by, but this shit stain character I created absolutely would. "But characters need a good reason to break this etiquette", not everyone cares about social etiquette, and characters are absolutely the same way. So long as their character has been established as such, this is fine. Also, reactionary responses like, "no one would talk to their parents that way!", in response to a character severly breaking a social rule or greatly going against a certain social value, are not actually helpful critiques. It is an emotional reaction that reflects what you view as proper, not if the action is accurate to the character or not.

5. Is it true that nobody talks like that, or do you just not understand the dialogue?

If dialogue is confusing, you need to delve deeper into why that is, and consider whether this is intentional or not. Just because the dialogue does not personally resignate with you, that does not mean it is poorly written. Same goes for dialogue that is meant to be confusing at first, and is given further context later. Have a conversation with the writer to see if this dialogue is meant to be confusing, or if there's been a miscommunication. It's also important you reflect on whether a project is for you when critiquing. If you hate dialogue full of rhymes, then you probably shouldn't critique a story where everyone talks in rhymes.

6. Is the issue the way they are talking, or the way they are talking about something in the specific context of the story?

When analyzing why dialogue doesn't sit well with you, is it because the characters' reactions feel off or out of character? For instance, is the character that is well established to hate sweets now ranting and raving about how good milk chocolate is? The issue then isn't that "no one talks like that", the issue is, "it feels out of character for them to address (topic) like that". Yes, it could be argued no one hates sweets one second and then praises milk chocolate the next, but phrasing it as "no one talks like that" doesn't actually get to the meat of the issue. As a more serious example, is the character who hates all magic being oddly casual when actually confronted with a mage? Of course, some inconsistencies are done on purpose, and, as I said above, context matters.

Conclusion

Going through this, I think a lot of people will find "no on talks like that" is not actually what they want to say. Rather, they likely want more context, think a conversation needs better build up, believe the dialogue feels inconsistent with the characters/world, or may outright just be a bad fit for that particular project. So before you say, "no one talks like that," consider why you feel that way and find a way to word this critique that is more productive.

If you use generative AI to write, you're not a writer, you're barely a software user.

You're generating autocorrect sentences. That's not creation, that's just statistics at work. If you don't want to write, don't try to be a writer! You don't have to be a writer, or an artist. And you also don't have a right to being either, just because you feel like it. You also don't have a right to running the Olympic marathon, just because you feel like it. You gotta train for the marathon, and you gotta write to be a writer.

Letting software patch words together for you is not creation. Oh, and you're making yourself stupid and destroying the environment, so yeah, just stop.

"why doesn't this thing in a movie/book/tv show happen exactly like it would in real life" is the most brain dead criticism the internet has to offer, and yet I see it EVERYWHERE.