Self Destruction Is An Interesting Thing!

I’ve been thinking about you. I think you know. We both dance around what-shouldn’t-unfold.

plant a seed, drop a secret in the soil, name her after someone you love.

‘Being a Woman is Inherently Uncanny’: An Interview With Carmen Maria Machado | Hazlitt

“Want”, Clementine von Radics // Duck Butter, dir. Miguel Arteta // “GPS”, Shauna Barbosa // “Ten Love Letters”, Clementine von Radics

I hate everyone else in the world but you.

Euphoria (2019)

he makes me laugh, head thrown back and eyes alive with happiness. he asks me to come closer when we sleep together, squeezes my hips and grins. he tells me I look beautiful in a black dress and heels with my hair messy and tangled but says he knows I’d look beautiful in anything anyway. he kisses my neck and my thighs and my hands and says “baby, you’re the most lovely thing my body has ever loved”. touches me in a way that makes me think, god even the sun hasn’t spilled her light on me like this.

I can’t tell you what it feels like, to have a boy blush when I kiss him, no memorised pick up lines, sauve attitude or cocky mannerisms. he’s so honest, so raw and passionate. so in love. so in love with me.

I used to think love was this anxiety-inducing dance for two, where everything had to be absolutely perfect. where things are painful and frustrating. where I have to chase and beg and call and entertain and cry and lose. always lose. but he’s right here now, sleeping on my shoulder. soft and sweet, with his arms around me.

and I think he’s going to stay.