Fendi - Bangchan X Female!9th Member Reader

yang jeongin - skz fluff headcanons

pairing: yang jeongin x reader

summary: innie headcanons

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, general fluff headcanons, maknae shenanigans

a/n: i haven't written stuff in a while tbh but anyways. thank you for 200 everyone !!

skz masterlist

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

a/n: divider by @cafekitsune

not your doll - (bf!bang chan x reader)

pairing: bf!bang chan x reader

summary: chan comes home upset from the latin american leg of the dominate tour.

genre: reverse comfort, idol!au, angsty, mentions of exhaustion, lots of crying, skz deserve better. reader comforts channie, mentions of delusion, mentions of eating and drinking

a/n: yall who think what happened in brazil is funny, or think it was 'just a joke' or 'fans showing support' get tf off my blog. i don't wanna see or talk to anyone who thinks what happened was okay. leave skz alone, leave chris alone. that man is not your punching bag, he's not responsible for fixing all your fucking problems, keeping everyone happy, or in charge of anyone's but his own happiness. that shit you gotta do yourself. this is so fucking disappointing, i'm ashamed to call myself a stay at the moment. let chris live his damn life and let the kids do the same. fuck yall 'stays'. if you were a real stay you wouldn't be doing this shit.

i stand with skz.

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

"Love?" You call softly, peeking around the bedroom door frame. "Did you wanna come and eat something?"

All you get in response is a muffled 'no' and the sound of shuffling as Chan shifts slightly on the bed. The warm lamplight from the bedside tables spill across his back, highlighting the skin in a rosy, haloed glow.

You sigh and pad over to him softly, sitting on the bed. "I know you might not feel like it, but you need some good food after all that travelling."

Chan shakes his head again, further mussing his unbrushed hair. The curls are squashed and fluffy from him burrowing his head into the pillows, but he doesn't seem to care. Not once has he lifted his head to take a breath of air, and you sigh and push his head gently to the side to do it for him.

He turns his head away, facing the opposite direction; you can hear the shudder from his lungs as he gulps in the fresh coldness of the air; you'd set the thermostat colder, just as he likes it, but he hadn't seemed to take any notice.

You sigh again, running a gentle hand down the soft, albeit slightly dry skin of his back. His duffel bag and suitcase is still in the corner of the room, the zip on his bag half undone as if he'd had the intention of unpacking, but he hasn't.

You'd left him to sort himself out and shower before coming to eat, but it seemed he'd just stripped himself of his outfit and tossed himself on the bed.

Couldn't say you blamed him.

Chan speaks then, low and muffled from the pillow. "I need to go to the company."

"It hasn't even been twenty minutes since you've been home, love," you chide him gently. "Just rest., hmm? All of that can come tomorrow. It doesn't look like you can even move right now..."

Chan groans and burrows his head further into the pillows; you take a soft fistful of his hair and tug it lightly, guiding his head to the side. Your heart lurches.

Chan is crying.

His makeup is smudged; you immediately rest your hands on his shoulders. They're tense as rocks. A black streak of eyeshadow has smeared itself across the white pillowcase, as well as some of his concealer; he doesn't seem to care, and neither do you.

"Channie, my love," you say as gently as you can. You can't hide the worry on your face. "What's wrong?"

That's a useless question. You know exactly what's wrong.

He sits up suddenly, as if to get up, but he collapses on his knees, digging them into the soft sheets. He throws his hands out.

"It's not fair," he cries desperately. "I do everything I can to make things work, and then it all just gets thrown to the side... I can't even open my mouth anymore without my words being twisted..."

You sit there, eyes wide and bewildered, watching this outburst. It's so oddly unlike him to do this, but you know exactly what he's talking about.

"I- The kids, too, they have to deal with all of this, I couldn't wait for us to leave because of what happened at the hotel... They were taking videos of us, videos of one of the kids just standing outside on the balcony, minding his own business, and I couldn't sleep all night because of them chanting, I just-" He hiccups, a tear spilling from each eye like a shattered crystal.

"I just want it all to go right, but it doesn't, and no matter what I do it's not enough," he keels over then, and you pull him into your lap. He lets his lower half kneel over the bed, his face buried in your thighs.

Your vision starts to blur, and a tear drops into his hair, but neither of you take notice. "Channie..."

"I chose this life, Y/n, I chose all of this, I thought I could handle it but I'm not so sure anymore. I want to be happy, and perform without worrying about all of this, I want everyone to just leave me alone..." He's crying freely now, hands gripping your hips as his back shakes, and it's all you can do not to start crying yourself.

That sadness is quickly taken over by a wave of disapproval and anger, anger at the people who dare treat your lover like this, treat his group like performing monkeys at a circus, to be poked and prodded at.

How dare they.

It's not fair. He's right. And you know you can't fix it, make it all better, kiss it healed like you have so many times before. And it's that feeling of helplessness, that overwhelming powerlessness, that makes you lean down and whisper fiercely in Chan's ear.

"Listen to me," you whisper. "It doesn't matter who did it, it doesn't matter if they thought it was right. I can't sit here and tell you I can fix it, because I can't, and neither can you, because it's not your problem, it will never be your problem. You are not their toy. Channie, my love, all you need to do is keep going. That's it, without looking back.

"Forget about those people who pretend to be Stays, who are nothing more than obsessed delusional idiots. I know it's hard. They are so completely and utterly lost in their own worlds, and you can't tie yourself into knots to fix them, because it's impossible.

"I know it hurts, love, and I know it's frustrating, especially for the kids too. None of you deserve to be treated like that, like you have to be filmed and screamed at and all of those other things-"

"But if I don't let them, then they all start hating me," his eyes are teary, utterly exhausted with emotion.

"Chris, you are not a doll," you say firmly, cupping his face. "You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. You are responsible for your own joy. So are the kids. I know you feel like you have to take the weight of the world on your shoulders, but it doesn't mean that you have to take everyone's bullshit alongside it too...

"You are a musician, an artist, not a miracle worker or some sort of magician that can take everyone's troubles away or perform to everyone's unrealistic standards. And as for those idiots who stalked you outside your hotel, JYP is taking measures to deal with it. And he says it's fine if you want to take a break for a while."

"I don't want to," he says quietly, inhaling your scent as you lean down to kiss the crown of his head. "I just wanted to be home with you, and I am."

"Love..."

"Please," he says, quieter. His tears have slowed. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore. It makes me angry, and being angry is exhausting. I'm already exhausted."

You sigh and crack a tiny smile, tapping his cheek lightly. Already you can see his resilience taking effect. Nothing keeps him down for long, your Chan.

"I'll let it go if you promise to come and eat something," you say. "Otherwise, I'm gonna call the kids to spend the night here and they'll eat all of the food I made for you-"

"Okay, okay," he groans, heaving himself upright. "I'm coming. Please don't call them, I've lost enough sleep trying to keep them all in line."

You laugh and kiss him. His lips are slightly chapped, and you tsk softly into the kiss as he stands up, taking you with him.

"Y/n," he murmurs, burning hands slipping to your waist.

"Thought you were too tired," you giggle.

He doesn't respond, instead tugging you closer. You reluctantly pull back and poke his side, making him gasp.

He pulls back too, fighting a sheepish look as you stare pointedly at the bathroom door. "Go shower, then come eat. Now."

He rolls his eyes and steals another kiss to your cheek as he heads towards the bathroom. "Fine."

Chuckling, you make your way to the door, heading to the kitchen. Your feet slow at the door threshold, and you turn to look back at Chan as he busies himself with pulling out a fresh set of clothes from his drawers. Even exhausted and upset, he's still beautiful. Your heart sinks a little as you watch the tear tracks on his face glisten under the lamplight, but you don't bring it up. Instead-

"Channie," you say softly.

He looks up, a black hoodie in one hand.

Your voice is gentle, almost hesitant. "It'll be okay, you know that, right?"

He nods quietly, solemn as you've ever seen him. "I know."

You feel your lips curving into a soft but sad smile. "I love you."

He blinks. "I love you more."

"That's not possible," you say teasingly as you turn and head towards the kitchen.

His laugh echoes through the house.

a/n: none bc i'm fucking pissed.

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send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

The angst fic you just did of skz reacting to your death was soooo good 😭😭😭def think you should do a pt 2 if you ever consider it :)

*throws heart-wrenching, sob-worthy angst in your face and runs away cackling* SUFFER ! YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GET IT !

don't go, please - skz maknae!line x reader (part 2)

pairing: ot8!skz maknae!line x reader

summary: skz maknae line reactions to when you d*e.

genre: so so heavy on the angst like hyung line's, mentions of pushing people away, heavy grief themes, denial, mentions of manic disorders, deluded illusions of happiness, fading personalities, mentions of graves and headstones, mentions of blood and scissors in felix's, jeongin's almost made me cry (oh, my sweet, sweet innie), han's is also super sad

a/n: yeehee part 2 of the angstiest fic i've ever done. why is it actually kinda fun to write sad stuff . . . ? anyway div by @carnage-cathedral

if this content makes you uncomfortable, please skip it . the last thing i want is to make people upset, so don't read this if it's triggering for you. proceed with caution and be safe, my loves <3

skz masterlist | part one (hyung!line)

Han whose mic clatters to the floor as the news sinks in. Can't believe it for a good week or two. Not until he realises that when he comes home, there will no longer be something simmering on the stove, there will no longer be the love of his life standing at the counter with sauce-smeared fingers and a cheeky grin. Spends hours and hours listening to all the love songs he wrote for you and that you never heard; cries over his keyboard and breaks the electronics with his misery. Refuses to rap, because like Changbin, he just can't get the words out of his mouth anymore. Becomes quiet and reserved; is aware of every single word that comes out of his mouth, every move he makes, he scrutinizes. Cries for you in the dark every night.

Felix who storms to the bathroom and immediately begins cutting off all of his hair. Hacks it relentlessly; tufts of blonde fall around his feet and collect on the tear-soaked cotton of his shirt. Nicks himself with the scissors in the process, but he doesn't care. Leaves spots of blood in the ironic shape of a heart on the dimly lit bathroom floor. Stains one of your photo frames with the scarlet; kisses it off, and then kisses the delicate depiction of your face behind the glass, setting it down on the bedside and burying his head in his hands. Refuses to dance or sing; the light goes out of his eyes and doesn't seem to return, an odd, almost eerie look taking over his once effortless and joyful exuberance.

Seungmin who pretends not to be affected; lives in denial of what happened, and goes about his life wondering if it's true. Refuses to look at news articles and completely shuts down when one of the members gently tries to help him open up; it always ends in an argument and slammed doors. Sits on his bed wondering if you'll ever come back, and if you left, was it because of something he did? Often regrets not being nicer to you, and jokes to himself about little things he sees that you would have hated; like incessantly hot weather where it melts his skin like pale chocolate, or the whirring of his laptop fan, which you always complained about. Lives the rest of his days in a sort of deluded happiness; he doesn't really believe you're gone.

Jeongin who chases after you in the crowd, only to come up short holding the sleeve of someone who looked the same as you from behind. Is bewildered when he wakes up every morning and places a hand next to him on the bed, expecting you to be there; he finds only a cold-empty loneliness, your soft indent in the mattress rustling under his shaking hands. Still wears your matching jewelry, and visits where you lay often, burying the rings and necklaces in the soft dirt so that you might be able to see them again one day. Scratches little pictures into your headstone and sits with you for hours, talking about anything and everything. Doesn't move, even when it's pouring down like the sea is crashing down from the sky, and holds and umbrella over your buried being to shield you from the wetness.

a/n: so this one is a little longer but it just flowed out of me i guess

omg love your new theme, it's so cuteee😭💖

thank youuu 🫶 i felt like switching it up for a bit before i take a break

obsessed with noona!9th member reader :0 what if she gets harrassed by a stage invader during a show and end up tearing a calf muscle or something and cant join the boys in performing for a while?

okay damn shit calm down why is this so intense TT . . . interesting request, my anon !! however, ask and you shall receive <3

will i be okay? - ot8!skz x injured!9th member reader

pairing: ot8!skz x injured!9th member reader

summary: when a stage invader injures you in the middle of a performance, skz help you build yourself back up, little by little.

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, mentions of blood, wounds, bruises, fainting, general medical procedures, mentions of eating and drinking, soft skz all the way :(

a/n: omg it's been so long since i wrote . . . did yall miss me . . . (silence)

skz masterlist

You never saw it coming.

One minute, you were singing the chorus of 'Walking on Water', scrunching your nose and throwing a hand at the audience in passion, and the next, you were thrown face down to the stage floor, feeling the metallic clatter of your mic dully hitting the side of your face.

A throb in your shoulder, the wet feeling of something sliding down your skin. The sickly tang of iron in your mouth, and the incredibly sharp, stabbing pain in your calf.

"Y/n!" the fans had screamed in panic, unheard by you. "Watch out!"

There were screams; several yells, a confused start from one of the members who was singing, and the audience had gone quiet, dissolving into hushed murmurs and worried whispers.

It was Minho who first rushed to your side, almost tipping himself over as he pushed back the strange, dark-haired man who threw a half-hearted kick at your side.

You heard swearing; low and dark, a musty smell coming over your senses, and then the buzz of security as they manhandled the stage invader into the dark wings off the sides of the platform.

Dizzy.

You felt hands; worried hands brushing over your form, the latex gloves of the medical staff, Chan's strained reassurances in your ear as he scanned the stage for any other threats. Vision blurry, you turned your head to the side and saw the boys clustered in a group, Hyunjin and Seungmin calling out to the fans with their hands out, trying to calm them down.

Something wet swiped across the side of your face, cold and dripping against the clammy, salty heat of your cheeks. Shaking, you raised fingers to your face, brushing them lightly against your skin. It felt numb; your fingertips came away as scarlet as the lip gloss you'd put on earlier before the show.

Chan's voice broke through the haze, low and steady. "Breathe, Y/n, you'll be okay. We've got you, you're safe, yeah?"

Then, black.

.

"Ow- fuck-"

"Almost there," Lia, the JYPE company nurse, cooed at you gently as she pressed a new gauze pad to the wound on your shoulder. "Y/n, you really need to be more careful. It won't heal properly if you keep trying to push yourself before the wound is scabbed over..."

"I wonder how that happened," Minho remarks dryly from the door, hair messy, leaning against the frame. He watches as Lia disposes of bloody tissues in the bin. "Surely it can't be because of a certain Stray Kids member attempting to do a late-night practice on her own."

You scowl. "Shut up."

Felix interjects with a sigh, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "It won't be a long time, noona. Just until it's healed. You need the rest..."

"I'm fine," you insist, standing up and trying to fight the sinking feeling in your chest. "I'm going back to the studio-"

"No, you're not," Minho says firmly. "You're going back to the dorm to rest. You're not leaving until Chan-hyung and I say you're allowed to."

You're about to shoot back in irritation, stubbornly refusing to listen, until your eyes catch Lia's. She gives you a look.

You groan. "Fine."

.

"I brought you tea," Changbin says quietly from your bedroom door. "Thought it might help."

You sit up as he walks in, and you take the steaming cup from him gratefully. It's soothing, the heat seeping through the porcelain and warming the frozen bones in your fingers.

Your eyes meet his as Changbin sits down on the edge of the bed, running his fingers over the duvet. The purple lights above your headboard bathe him in a soft, violet glow, and part of you feels bad for keeping him up this late.

You feel bad for waking Hyunjin, too. Not that he seemed to mind; he'd just gently chided you as Minho led you back to your dorm with a firm hand on your shoulder, and ruffled your hair as Changbin had helped you settle into bed.

You can hear him clattering about in the kitchen, no doubt searching for a late-night snack. Changbin is clearly used to the noise, because he doesn't blink as Hyunjin swears from the kitchen, whining about not being able to find his chips.

You take a sip of the tea; it's slightly minty, cooling you down even though the liquid is hot. It makes you immediately sleepy, warmth flooding your body and replacing the dull feeling that's been settling itself in your gut for the past few days.

Changbin's eyes flick to yours as you set the cup down on the beside with a clink.

"Tired?" He says softly. His hair is rumpled with sleep.

You shift on the bed, sliding down the pillow. "It's uncomfortable to sleep. I have to keep my leg up all the time."

"It'll be easier once you find the right position," he replies, picking up a pillow from the floor. "Here."

You take it from him and prop your leg up, nestling into the sheets. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Not at all. I don't think Hyun minded either. Speaking of, did you want something to eat?"

You shake your head quietly, downcast. If Changbin notices, he doesn't say anything, and he gently kisses your crown before closing the bedroom door softly behind himself.

You gnaw at the inside of your cheek. You feel even worse than before you'd tried to sneak out and practice alone. It was just so inconvenient; being harassed by a stage invader in the middle of a performance you'd worked so hard for, and you hadn't even been able to finish it.

Part of you wishes it had been one of the boys who'd gotten hurt. But that thought scares you more than the fact that you're injured, so you chase it out of your head and try to rest.

You fall asleep with the pillow soaked in tears.

.

"And one- Switch, Jisung to the back, Felix's part, and here, we go-"

Minho's voice rings out loud and clear as he shouts instructions to the members, music blaring out over his tone. You watch in amazement from the side of the studio floor, knees tucked to your chest.

It's common practice for him to shout moves and parts to the boys and you during practices, but the fact that he's dancing effortlessly at the same time makes your jaw drop a little. You can't believe it never occurred to you earlier, the level of breath control and strength he possesses.

He's amazing.

So are the rest of them.

It's been an hour, and none of them show any sign of slowing down. It doesn't matter who you look at, or when; all of them are dancing at full power, giving the routine and song their all, from Jeongin, whose vocals are stable even though he's constantly moving, and Hyunjin, who executes his switch to the back without missing a beat.

Part of you is glad to be able to sit back and watch; the feeling of pride sits in your chest like a warm, happy bubble, especially as your gaze meets the younger members' forms. You can't believe how far they've come.

But something about the way they glance at each other, even slapping each other's butts as they move past and grinning at each other in the mirror between moves tugs sadly at your heart.

You want to be a part of that again.

It's been two weeks, and Chan and Minho still aren't letting up. Neither is your manager, or JYP, no matter how much you nagged at him. Any of them. Lia was also in strong agreement that you rest more, but you've had enough. You want to get up and dance. Sing. Perform with your group members.

You scratch lightly at the sticky bandage on your shoulder. It hasn't come off yet, a miracle, and you sigh as you roll it back and forth, trying to alleviate the sensory feeling of it stuck to your skin. Hopefully you won't end up with a square of skin lighter than the surrounding tanned area once the bandage comes off.

You turn your leg from side to side, flexing the calf muscle gently. It only aches a little, the painful, sharp throb from the first impact a distant memory.

But not any less painful.

"Hey," you hear Chan's voice next to you. "Feeling any better?"

"Fine," you say bitterly, looking away. He's sweaty, the faded scent of cologne and musk washing over you in a soft, familiar wave. He flicks open the top of his electrolyte drink, leaning against the wall behind both of you.

He doesn't seem too upset by your harsh tone; taking a swig of blue liquid and then setting the bottle down, he turns to you. "I know it's hard, Y/nnie-"

"You don't get it, Chan," you snap at him suddenly, upset anger bubbling in your stomach unexpectedly. "You can perform and dance and sing and do everything properly while I'm stuck here, unable to even get up without someone fussing over me. I'm fine, okay? I want to join practices and performances again. I'm sick of this. All of it."

He doesn't blink, eyes softening. And suddenly, as quickly as it appeared, the intense emotion evaporates. It's replaced by the hot, wet feeling of tears sliding down your cheeks.

A calloused thumb reaches out and brushes them away. "I'm sorry, Y/n. It's awful not being able to perform. Trust me, I know." He turns to face you. "But if you keep trying to push yourself before you're healed, the time you have away from activities will only increase."

You sniff. He's right.

"It's just not fair," you whisper.

"No, it's not," Jisung says, sitting down next to you. Like Chan, he's sweaty, and you fight the sad, watery urge to smile as you spot a hint of last night's sparkly stage eyeshadow still smeared across his lids. "But we'd rather you rest safely than go out there injured, and risk getting hurt again, okay? We care about you."

"It's not as fun," Chan admits quietly. "On stage. We miss you. So do the fans. They've been ranting about the stage invader left and right. We're all here to support you, okay?"

You nod and wipe a hand across your eyes. "When can I get back to schedules?"

By now, the rest of the members have come and flopped down near you. You run a hand through Jeongin's damp hair as Seungmin toys with the clip on your leg bandage.

"You're gonna be okay, noona," Felix says softly, leaning his head on Hyunjin's shoulder.

The rest of the members nod eagerly and interject with their own reassurances, and it's all you can do not to cry. You sniff and Chan's hand covers yours in a warm flood of heat.

"Hey," Minho says dryly. "At least you don't have to slave away at the choreography like the rest of us-"

Chan clears his throat. "Minho."

He grins as the rest of the members and you dissolve into giggles.

a/n: i have an exam tomorrow . . .

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Hi!! Could I please make a request? I was thinking of maybe a ot8 skz x 9th member reader, where the reader has anxiety and ends up having a panic attack and the members comforted the reader?

hihi anon >< i liked this request. i was actually thinking of writing another 9th member fic when this ask came in, so perfect timing ! here you go <3

dissonance - skz x 9th member with anxiety

pairing: ot8!skz x reader with anxiety

summary: you have a panic attack while performing on stage with skz.

genre: angsty, idol!au, mentions of eating, graphic descriptions of a panic attack, slight implication of sh, fluffy ending, mentions of eating, skz are sweethearts

a/n: go check out my 'skz valentines' day event special' if you haven't already >< !

You love what you do. Really. Being on stage, wearing cool outfits, doing what you love, and of course, singing and dancing and performing with eight of your best friends is the total dream.

You couldn't have asked for more.

But now that you're standing backstage, surrounded by staff members, stylists, maintenance techs, and a countless amount of other people you don't even know, you're beginning to feel a little bit overwhelmed.

You look across to where Chan is discussing something with a stylist; it's like you can barely see him because of the overloading environment, and as you watch, his image slowly splits into two. Like a hallucination.

The performance is in a few minutes, and the noise around you becomes even louder as you begin to make your way to the wings of the stage. It's darker here, at least, but the hustle and bustle doesn't end, and neither does the constant ringing in your ears.

You feel a warm hand press lightly into the small of your back and you look up to see Hyunjin gazing down at you.

"You okay?" He says, adjusting his mic. "I know it's noisy here."

You can't do anything but nod in response, not trusting yourself to speak, save you burst into tears, or rudely snap at him. You've been backstage to events like this countless times, but the overwhelm and nausea that seems to come with it never ends. It always starts to happen the moment you sit down in the dressing room to have your makeup done.

The other members gather in a group behind Chan, who's waiting at the curtain before the stage, and you, who's gripping into the velvety material with white-knuckled fingers.

It all feels too much; the coloured lights, the brightness of the stage, the jumbled, discordant noises around you, and even your own members being near you makes you want to scream. Looking at Hyunjin's face again is too much to even bear, the diamantes under his eyes shining far too bright, and the badges on his jacket feeling far too odd and icky to be fashionable.

Chan, who's turned back to count his members before going on stage, glances at you; he knows how you get with these sorts of events, and you can't bear the sight of his face either. You just want him to go away, even if he's not talking to you. A pang of irritation shoots through you as he begins to talk.

"Y/n," he says quietly, though you can barely hear him through the blood rushing through your ears. "Take a deep breath, yeah?"

He moves a little closer, a hand out to stop anyone rushing by from bumping into you. There's a heart-shaped diamante on his cheek, and suddenly you want nothing more to reach up and rip it off his face. The urge to do it is almost overwhelming.

But even if you wanted to, you can't, because suddenly Chan is shouting something and you all run out onto stage, the cheer of the crowd so deafening you can't hear anything at all, your ears buzzing. You start to move purely out of muscle memory, your subconscious forcing your to dance only due to hours of late-night practices where you repetitively drilled the routine into your bones. But it feels stiff and clunky, almost unnatural to be moving the way that you are.

You barely register singing your part; it must have been incredibly subpar, you're sure of that at least, because Minho turns to look at you a little strangely before moving to jump back into position. But you're so visibly out of breath that he seems to realise what's happening, and he takes over singing your part while you keep dancing. The white lights above you are so hot, almost searing against your skin, beating down on you relentlessly. None of the other members seem to be affected, however.

You wince and scrunch the left side of your face as you almost roll your ankle, and you swear you can feel the makeup crinkling against your skin, the unpleasant caked layer of it seeping into your pores, clogging them with impurity. You desperately reach up a hand to scratch it off, provide some relief, but all the members put their hands up as per the routine, and you do the same, so your current situation isn't immediately noticeable to anyone who's watching. You doubt you're performing at even an average level, but you can't find it in you to care, you're so out of breath.

I can't keep going-

Your clothes feel scratchy and irritating against your skin, the top just a little bit too uncomfortable, your shoes just a little too tight, and the fingerless gloves on your hands are almost too much to bear, your hands going numb. Your hair is done too strangely, the styling making your scalp feel all tight and pressured, and suddenly you can't do anything but drop to your knees in the middle of the rush and gasp, your head pounding so hard it hurts-

Too much too much too much-

Before you know it, the stage suddenly goes dark and you realise that the performance has ended. Hopefully no one saw what happened-

That hope is dashed to pieces as you're immediately swarmed by staff members, all crowding in concern. You hear Jeongin yelp as he's pushed to the side and someone else, Chan, you think, is shouting, trying to create order and get to you at the same time. The crowd is murmuring, whispering, but you can't hear them, your whole being numb and grey with searing anxiety.

The members seem to understand what's happening, though, and you look up through dark, blurry vision to see Danceracha making a barrier between you and the rest of the backstage crew with their bodies, Felix looking over his shoulder in concern. They've finally managed to get through the swarm and you collapse onto your back, simply too exhausted to do anything else despite the din of noise surrounding you like a cloud of wasps.

You feel someone's hands- Seungmin's, maybe, press themselves into your shoulders, and a spicy, warm scent fills your nostrils as you suddenly leave the earth, a prominent weight settling over your being. Chan is lifting you.

The rest of the members begin to make their way through the crowd to their designated group dressing room, you clinging to Chan's shoulders so hard you think you might leave crescent-shaped scars in the skin. But he doesn't flinch, not that you notice, since you're unable to do anything but gasp and hyperventilate. You think you might scream, but nothing leaves your lungs, and by now you've lost complete control of your breathing.

Chan sets you down in his lap once the dressing room door is shut, sitting on the couch, and Minho immediately turns the light off. Dimness floods the room and Changbin kneels in front of you, carefully slipping off your shoes and gloves while Jeongin runs his fingers through your hair, flaking out the harsh gel and returning your slightly sweaty hair to its usual state.

You gasp and keel over just as Jisung takes a hold of your hands, completely calm and in control.

"It's okay, Y/nnie," you hear him say, his voice sounding faint and faraway. "You did so well for us, just try and tune into the silence, it'll help..."

You almost forget that this is what Jisung does when he feels overwhelmed with a panic attack too; he told you once that sitting somewhere quiet helps your head to clear things up a little. He must be right, because your breathing is beginning to slow down.

You look down at your hands; you can't feel them, and they look almost alien through your buzzing panic, like they don't really belong to you. Jisung's firm yet gentle grip has left little white patches on the skin in the shape of his fingertips, the blood not flowing through your hands properly due to the hyperventilating.

Foundation gathers on the underside of your nails as you reach up and desperately try to remove all the makeup, your tears not even penetrating the thick, oily layer of cosmetic product. Diamantes come raining down and gather on your thighs just as someone gently swipes a damp, cool cloth across your cheeks, the fabric coming away the colour of your skin.

By the time all of the makeup is cleaned off, and you're sitting in nothing but the complete base layer of your outfit, your breathing has slowed down completely. You look up with red, teary eyes, your heart still pounding, and meet eyes with Chan, who's still sitting with you in his lap, one hand stroking your waist.

"I can't go back out there," you choke out.

Chan nods. "That's okay, Y/nnie. You did really well performing, okay? I think we should all just stay here a little longer until you feel somewhat better, then we'll figure out what to do, hm?"

You sniff. "I m-messed up the performance, though.."

"It's okay, Y/n," Changbin says softly from where he's sitting, his legs swung over a chair.

"Yeah," Hyunjin adds. "Don't worry."

The room is completely silent, until Seungmin pointedly gets up and moves to a stylist mirror, opening the cabinet and pulling out a packet of makeup wipes. He sits down and cleans his face, matter-of-factly, then tosses the wipes into a nearby bin. Minho moves to do the same, and undoes the clasp of his necklace, tossing all his jewelry into a shiny, clunky pile on the table without a word.

Chan nods in approval. "I think we're done here for today. Let's dress down and clean up, then go back home. I think all of us could do with some rest."

You lie down on the couch while the rest of the members change clothes and wash off their makeup in the adjoined bathroom. Everyone keeps their voices low, and the dimness of the room compared to the flashiness outside almost makes you fall asleep. That is, until Felix appears at your side, holding out a juice box and a couple of wrapped chocolates.

"Here," he says quietly. "It should help keep your sugar up until we get back to the dorms."

You sit up a little bit and accept them from him, sipping tiny little sips from the juice as Felix pats your head and leaves to clean off his makeup.

Jeongin moves to lie down next to you after a while, and Hyunjin makes little origami birds out of the chocolate wrappers while Chan finalises the group's departure from the event.

"Alright," Chan says with conviction as Jisung helps you up from the couch. The members assemble near the door, raring to go. "Let's get out of here. I've had enough of this place."

You fight a weak smile as he shoots you a wink.

I couldn't agree more.

a/n: i should really try and find images that actually match for my headers. sigh

Just wanted to pop in and say hi and thank you for always tagging me in your stuff! Thank you for making me feel so included (JJ from @justsomekpopstuff 💚😊)

that's okay !! i remember you were always one of the first to check out my stuff, so i figured you'd want to keep up :]

relight me - skz x 9th member with ed!reader

pairing: ot8!skz x ed!reader

summary: when a once-strong light burns out, someone must relight it.

genre: idol! au, lots of comfort, angsty. mentions of ed, purging, skipping meals, throwing up, self-consciousness, hypervigilance, mentions of reader having a period (it doesn't happen dw) also . . . i'm well aware the title for reader in this one is a little bit primitive but that's the best way i could describe the fic mbmb

a/n: eat, eat, you EAT <3 div by @seulzitos

"Y/n, come and eat!"

You turn towards your opened bedroom door, looking with mild displeasure at Changbin. He can tell you're not pleased with the interruption.

Setting your pen down and rather fiercely slamming your laptop, you move to the door and attempt to push it shut, only to be blocked by Changbin's firm, solid frame.

"Move," you hiss at him. "Let me work."

He gazes at you coolly, his hair fluffy and messy, large black glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose.

"It's almost half past eight, Y/n. Eat any later than this and you'll feel sluggish in the morning. You've been shut up in your room for too long now. Please?"

You shake your head stubbornly. "Five more minutes."

Changbin actually laughs then. "You said that three hours ago. Take a break."

"No." Your feeble argument does nothing to persuade him. In reality, you'd just been biding your time in your room until everyone went to sleep so you wouldn't have to eat.

His gaze narrows. "I'm gonna tell Chan-hyung if you don't come and eat something. Please don't make me do that. You know how he gets."

You groan so loudly you think the entire dorm hears it. Storming back into your room, you messily reorganize a few papers before grudgingly following Changbin into the dorm kitchen. Your heart pounds harder with every step you take.

Stupid. You really thought no one would notice.

Entering the kitchen, you see most of the boys already seated. Jisung and Jeongin are busy fighting over a piece of fried chicken, Minho and Felix looking on in amusement. Seungmin is on his phone, minding his own business at the end of the table, and Han and Chan are discussing some 3RACHA schedule adjustments for the next week, eating in rather a civilised manner compared to the other members. Hyunjin comes out of the kitchen holding a couple of extra plates, and he sets them down just as Changbin pushes you gently towards the group.

You exhale and sit down next to Felix, who's busy digging his way through a container of noodles. There's been no time lately to cook since schedules have been so busy, and Chan finally gave in when the members pleaded to have takeout for the fifth time after dance practice.

Not you. You disappeared as soon as the practice session ended. You've been so isolated lately that it almost feels strange to be around the members, to watch their antics and listen to their bickering. And normally, being around them would fill you with energy and you would gladly join in, but something inside you tells you to hold back and be quiet. Keep your head down, eat as little as possible, repeat.

Again and again and again.

The thoughts hang heavy in your mind as you're handed a plate. Gulping, you spoon out the smallest possible portion that you can handle without the others noticing the size of it. It's barely half a plate.

"Y/nnie!" Hyunjin calls. "Aren't you gonna eat more? You've been working harder than old man Chan-hyung lately."

Chan lightly slaps the boy upside his head and detaches the piece of fried chicken from within Jeongin and Jisung's shared grip. He lightly chides them and their bickering stops momentarily, hunger taking over pettiness. For the time being, anyway.

Hyunjin has managed to draw everyone's attention to your plate and it's immediately filled with several more portions, the boys chiding you affectionately and heaping more food onto the ceramic. The sight of it makes you want to throw up, and you fight the sudden surge of anger rising in your chest. You want to throw the plate at Hyunjin's face.

But you don't, so you sit and seethe as the boys settle down to eat, munching through sides and conversing cheerily with each other. You feel none of the joy of sharing a good meal with friends; just a cold, dead numbness that makes you feel like a disconnected power plug compared to all the others. You watch them eat platefuls without blinking, without caring, and part of you wishes you could do the same, but it's too much to ask.

Besides, you think, looking down at your plate, it's for the better. Hunger will keep me sharp.

You bite your lip and take tiny, tiny mouthfuls of the food; barely even forkfuls while you try and make up an excuse to leave the table. You could pretend that something urgently needs working on; the new choreo, maybe? No... Minho will force you to sit and eat before you leave.

Or you could say you feel sick, but you don't have a temperature or any physical ailments, and you've been fine since this morning. Not really an option either.

You could also just sit and eat like a normal human being, but the last thing you want is a full stomach, or a stomach with anything in it. And you've already tried purging and it's too messy and loud, so that's out of the question too.

You think about putting on some theatrical display of feeling sick or overtired but you just don't have the energy. And if you get up and just leave, all of them will come and pester you. The last thing you want right now is to talk about it.

Felix nudges you lightly and you almost shoot him a glare, but you reign it in. It's Felix.

"You feeling, okay, Y/n?" He asks quietly, smiling. "You look a little pale."

You thank your stars, and Felix. He's just given you an opportunity to escape. You feign a slow, tired expression.

"Yeah," you say quietly. "I just- I feel a bit sick."

His expression changes to one of affectionate concern and he places a hand over your forehead. "You don't feel warm... maybe it's because you're working too much that you feel sick."

You groan inwardly just as Chan looks your way, checking up. He raises an eyebrow in mild concern and you wince a little, signalling that you want to leave. You feel confident for a minute that he'll let you leave, because he always says yes, understanding that the bickering and noise gets too much for you sometimes. But he just shakes his head and points to your plate, mouthing "Eat.".

He. Shakes. His. Head.

You almost gape and consider getting up anyway, but the prospect of him finding everything out is almost too much to bear. The thought of being exposed makes shame burn through your veins, though it hasn't even happened, and you begin to feel the familiar, heavy inferiority settle in your gut like a teary, reprimanded child.

There's one last, desperate resort.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you murmur to Felix. "I think I got my period."

He nods, and you hope that Chan doesn't call you out as you stand and begin to walk away, every nerve tense. Thankfully, he doesn't, and you make it to your bedroom without trouble, shutting the door heavily behind yourself.

You open the door to the bathroom and immediately step on the scale, just to check that nothing's added itself on. You exhale a sigh of relief at the sight of the numbers decreasing just slightly.

Phew.

You lock the bathroom door and sit on the cold tiles, waiting. You can kill time for a while and then pretend to fall asleep on your bed. No way the boys will tell you off when they find out you just happened to fall asleep due to your consistent early schedules.

You sigh and reach into one of the drawers, pulling out a pad. Ripping the item off of the patterned plastic, you fold the sticky tabs back in and tuck in back in the drawer. You throw the plastic in the bin, making sure to run the tap for a few seconds so it looks like you've put a pad on and washed your hands. Felix uses your bathroom sometimes too because Hyunjin takes so long in their shared one, so you have to keep up the guise of the sudden arrival of a period.

Sighing, you open the bathroom door and are met with Chan. Your heart drops out of your chest and flies out the window entirely.

"C-chan," you stutter feebly, pressing a hand to your chest. "You scared me."

"Sorry," he says quietly. "Felix told me you thought you got your period. Are you feeling okay?"

You nod. He has no idea about what's going on, and the thought makes you feel a sort of twisted pride at the realisation.

"Do you need anything?" he asks. Ever the leader.

You shake your head, risking the next sentence. "I'm gonna lie down for a while, though..."

"Do you want me to bring you something to eat?"

You think before responding, the thoughts flashing through your head quick as lightning. If you say yes, he'll being food and expect the plate to be finished when he comes to collect it from your room. If you say no, he'll get suspicious.

"Yes, please," you say weakly, even though the mere thought of ingesting something makes you want to throw up.

Chan nods and you lie down on the bed, fighting the urge to just spill everything to him. But you can't, so you stay quiet and watch as Chan brings your plate from the table and sets it gently on the bedside.

You expect him to leave, but he doesn't. He sits down on the end of the bed, and your nerves begin to fray a little, feeling irritated that he won't just leave you alone.

If that wasn't enough, you suddenly notice that the faint noises from the members in the kitchen are gone, replaced with a dull, eerie silence. You feel a bit sick until you spot familiar faces lingering near the doorway of your room, their silhouettes visible against the frame of light spilling from the hallway.

"Y/n," Chan says quietly. A cold dread sits in your stomach, chilling you to the stomach. You know exactly what's coming.

"I'm sorry," you blurt out before he can continue.

Chan doesn't even look surprised, and he runs a hand through his hair just as Changbin moves into the room, sitting on the bed next to him. He places a hand on your thigh.

A sinking feeling takes hold of your gut.

They already knew.

Chan starts to talk. "Y/nnie, we know what's been going on. You're not in trouble, okay?"

You groan. "Well, now I feel like I am."

Changbin can't help but chuckle a little, though it's quieter than his usual laugh. "We didn't stop you to begin with because we didn't want you to feel like we were keeping tabs on you."

"And we thought it was something you could handle on your own," Chan adds quietly. "It was wrong of us to stand by and let you do this to yourself."

"We're sorry, Y/n," Hyunjin adds from the doorway. "We thought we were helping by forcing you to eat, but clearly not. And I'm sorry for drawing attention to how much you were eating earlier."

A hot tear spills over the brim and burns a line down the soft skin on your cheek. "Why are you all apologising? I shouldn't have done it, I just felt so low and I couldn't bring myself to eat, and-"

This time it's Jeongin who moves to sit next to you on the bed, and he coos at you lightly, quieting you. "It's okay, Y/n. Most of us know how that feels. But the thing is, you don't have to lie to us. We'll never say anything judgmental to you about it."

You nod tearfully and let Chan stroke your hair lightly, the warmth helping to soothe the storm inside your head.

"Would it help if you could eat alone?" He says quietly. "When most of us were trainees, we weren't used to eating so much in front of others, so most of us ate separately from each other until we felt more confident. Would that help?"

You nod.

"Besides, if you do that," Changbin adds jokingly, "One day, you'll be able to stuff your face like we do."

For the first time in you don't know how long, an involuntary laugh bubbles out of your chest, quite unexpectedly, and for the first time, it feels right.

a/n: no one is allowed to cry on this 9th member fic like last time

chk chk boom ! ending fairy collection ♡

omg i just saw the prompt list

can you do something cute and fluffy with 21 + 44 for Felix, he is wrecking me again rn🥹❤️

so this is pretty rushed but i think it went okay. omg same btw, he's been wrecking me so hard the past few days with his new hairstyle too. anyway here you go <3

fall for you - lee felix

pairing: lee felix x reader

summary: you and felix are at the library late at night, studying for an exam, until things take a sudden turn

genre: another college!au but you can't really tell ig, soft shy felix, very fluffy

a/n: this fic feels so cosy. dividers by @kodaswrld

⛓️ prompts: 21. "Are you trying to get me to fall for you?" / 44. "I wasn't supposed to say that."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

The library is dead silent this time of night, you note as you walk in; the only sounds come from the faint tapping of keys on laptops and occasional taps and thuds as a pen is set down and a book is closed. No one is here but you and a certain someone.

Felix.

He is sitting with his knees tucked to his chest when you return from the cafe down the street, holding a cardboard tray of two drinks. You hand one to him and he thanks you with a soft, tired smile as you sit next to him, where your own workstation has been set up.

Your shoulder brushes his as you readjust, and you sigh as you reopen your laptop, the ghoulish blue light overtaking the warm glow of the golden desk lamps surrounding the area.

Felix laughs quietly. "Bet you missed that blue light, huh?"

You groan. "No, I dragged my feet on the way back from the cafe so I wouldn't have to face it. It's giving me a headache."

"At least you're prepared for the exam."

You groan and lean your head on his shoulder, exasperated. Your voice is muffled. "I don't feel prepared."

He ruffles your hair. "You say that every time, and then you pass with a great score. Relax, Y/nnie."

You sigh and sit upright, stretching. "I guess."

Bending your fingers to release some of the tension, you exhale and dive back into your work. You assume Felix is doing the same, and when you glance across, he is, but little do you know that he's already missing the familiar warmth of your physical action. His shoulder burns where you rested your head and he rolls it back, trying to alleviate the bittersweet feeling.

You're both already sitting fairly close; it's cold outside, and naturally, you drift closer to each other for warmth in the chilly air of the spacious library, knees tucked to chests and jackets draped over shoulders. Silence descends again, occasionally broken by one of you as you pore over shared notes or point to something on your laptops.

You sit back suddenly, turning behind you to survey the darkened shelves and sitting areas. Felix looks up from his notes.

"What's wrong?"

You grin at him. "We're literally the only ones here, do you realise?"

He surveys your surroundings too with a dazed gaze, then he nods. "Yep. I guess everyone else studied earlier."

You laugh and then hurriedly shush yourself, not wanting to disturb the peaceful, serene atmosphere that has descended like a blanket over the library interior. Felix covers his mouth with a hand, trying to muffle his laugh.

"The place isn't haunted, you know," he snickers. "You're allowed to make noise."

You point an accusatory finger at him. "It might be! And besides, you're doing the same thing."

"No, I'm not."

You roll your eyes. "All the library ghosts are going to come for you if they hear you lying, Lee Felix."

Felix snickers again, eyes widening. "Library ghosts? When'd you get that idea? You're lying now-"

You put on a very self-important expression and interrupt him, pretending to glare. "I made it up just now, 'cos I can. They can hear you, Felix."

He's grinning softly now, and a warm feeling spreads in his chest, thawing the ice beginning to frost over his skin from the library air. “I swear," he says, still grinning, "You always know how to make me laugh. Are you trying to get me to fall for you?”

You grin too and try to hide a blush, thankful for the low light. “What? No, of course not. Just trying to keep you awake.”

Felix’s smile falters slightly, unsure if he meant to say that out loud. His hand scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“I... I wasn’t supposed to say that.” He says uncertainly.

You try to play it off, teasing. “Well, now you’ve said it. So, what are you going to do about it?”

Felix’s eyes widen, and he stammers, not knowing how to answer. His heart races. He tries to cover it up with a nervous laugh, his voice a little shaky.

“I... I don’t know. Maybe you should just... make me fall for you?”

Your heart thuds, almost out of your ribcage, and you turn to him, hoping you look as confident as you sound. You don't.

"How exactly do I do that, Felix?"

He is silent. The atmosphere is charged, not least because of the conversation topic or the proximity. Felix lets his head drop and exhales heavily, like he used to when he had a secret to tell. When he raises his head, there's the faintest ghost of a shy smile on his lips. His cheeks are flushed and he's almost shaking.

His voice is so quiet when he speaks, almost a whisper.

"You don't have to try and make me fall for you, Y/n."

You tilt your head softly. "Why not?"

"Because you already have."

a/n: ooooohh *snaps fingers* plot twist