Monsteradarling - Deliciously Monstrous

Waddesdon Manor

How We Got Here

The misapplication, distortion, and clumsy/careless use of social justice concepts is one of the most pressing issues facing women and racial and sexual minorities. People have taken insane, disrespectful liberties with the language and justice tools invented by oppressed groups to name and explain their realities. The result is that once effective justice tools - such as anti racism, anti-homophobia and anti-misogyny- has now lost all credibility and has been rendered a joke. The constant appropriation and careless abuse of these justice tools, (largely by inherently privileged people) has devastated liberation movements to such an extent that one could imagine it's being intentionally done as a form of sabotage. Once useful, powerful ideas and concepts have been watered down and misapplied to the point of absurd parody. Most notably, the concept of "gender". The word "gender", once understood to refer to the system of sexist oppression inflicted on women- is now used to refer to personality traits, fashion sense, mental and psychiatric symptoms, aesthetic preferences and one's degree of conformity to social and cultural stereotypes. This has devastated the coherence, clarity, and intellectual respect of feminist theory. What's worse, this total abuse and disrespect of justice language is now being used to justify an "anti-woke" movement, where people suggest that genuine justice concerns be dismissed along with the nonsense meanings and misapplications created by careless, privileged individuals who greedily appropriated justice tools and borrowed from their legitmacy for selfish, nefarious purposes. This must end. Grassroots justice movements must reclaim their language, ideas, and concepts and rebuild. We must resist the psychological and intellectual theft.

one day misogyny will die out and, in turn, radfeminism and terfism will die out too and men and women will be best friends forever and never have to fight again

Totally agree, and I would also argue that connecting with other women is the most important first step. Actually taking time to build up the care and empathy for other women is huge. The patriarchy constantly pits woman against woman to prevent us from working together.

You can give up the makeup, love your body hair, abandon the need for male acceptance or approval - but if you don't teach yourself to care for other women, and give other women grace, and understand female socialisation, then all you're doing is partially freeing your physical self while upholding the patriarchy elsewhere.

Considering that the patriarchy also wants to crush us so that we're always kind to men and hyper critical of other women, centring women and actually saving that kindness for other women trains us to be kinder to ourselves, too, which builds our confidence and empowers us to stand up even taller against men.

It's admirable if one day, you can wake up and completely deprogram yourself from misogyny and the patriarchy in one go but it's also OK if:

You start wearing less makeup or wearing makeup less often rather than completely stopping

You start to let your body hair grow a little longer before shaving instead of never letting it grow more than stubble

You stop making new male friends but keep the ones that you have

You share resources online about community efforts before helping in person

You disengage from conversations where casual misogyny or full blown misogyny is used rather than challenging it

Everyone starts somewhere. We don't all have the ability to change our lives completely overnight.

But you have to put in the work to do more and get out of your comfort zone. Women's liberation doesn't happen if we all just do the minimum.

It's a good place to start but you have to learn how to push yourself to do more.

reminder that lesbians are NOT more violent than men and we don't have the highest domestic violence rates. i wish people (mostly men) would stop deliberately misconstruing this

This one was a workout for my brain 🧠

By: Me 😊

9 out of 10 times ejaculating in a woman will throw her pH off for a few weeks if not months. BV and yeast infections are wildly common in women who let their partners ejaculate in them. A lot of women endure this issue for life and are blamed for having “smelly vaginas” when the root cause is semen disrupting the microbiome. That article you cited is questionable for sure and we shouldnt refer to women as cum brained, but semen disrupts vaginal health the majority of the time. Its why so many women get yeast infections attempting to conceive.

Alrighty, lets dissect this.

Yes: semen is alkaline — its PH is usually around 7.1 to 8. The vagina, on the other hand, is naturally acidic with a PH around 3.8 to 4.5. That acidity is what keeps the vaginal microbiome healthy, especially the dominance of lactobacillus bacteria, which help fight off infections.

So yes, ejaculation can temporarily raise the vaginal pH. But to say it “throws off the PH for weeks or months” in 90% of cases? This is not backed by science. At all.

The vagina is designed to rebalance itself. It has a robust ability to restore its normal pH after mild disruptions.

Women don’t get an infection every time they have unprotected sex with a man. If that were true, literally millions of women that are engaging in sexually active relationships would be living in constant infection mode — and we’re just not seeing that reflected in population health studies.

What is true:

BV and yeast infections are super common

They can be triggered by PH disruption — from semen, yes, but also periods, antibiotics, scented soaps, douching, new partners, stress, diet, etc.

Some women are more prone to an imbalance than others (immune stuff, genetics, hormones, etc.)

But that doesn’t mean semen is toxic waste. Again, we have debunked that made up 9/10 number.

Also, the broad statement that women “endure this for life” is wrong. Recurrent infections in women prone to them suck but they’re perfectly treatable and preventative measures can be taken. Don’t shame women with fear-based stats.

The greatest trick of the patriarchy was to teach countless generations of women to be kind.

We can talk about statistics all day long, but the weaponisation of our compassion is what keeps us on our knees.

When we see studies about violence, the immediate reaction is but men can be victims, too, and examples like that are why the false ideas of the patriarchy hurts men, too and feminism is for everybody are so prevalent. Women have been so broken down by generations upon generations of manipulation through be kind that is feels wrong, that it feels psychologically painful to centre ourselves.

Instead of women being able to come together and fight for our rights as one, this malicious forced compassion makes us sideline and silence ourselves, with the reward being tricked into feeling like I'm a good and selfless person. When women dare to centre ourselves and put ourselves first reasonably, then we're gaslit into believing that we're being selfish, cruel and even violent, and when other women snap and snarl, tired of our treatment, then they're entirely dismissed as being any modern version of hysteric.

Men like to hide behind the idea that we're the manipulative ones that psychologically damage, but without a thousand generations of men reinforcing that we should think again and actually have kindness and compassion for others, women as a whole would be able to see through the blinders of oppression.

After all, to be anti-prostitution has been reframed as hating sex workers.

Fighting against systemic violence and rape against women is ignoring male victims and supporting female perpetrators.

Protecting female-only spaces is excluding a vulnerable minority's right to exist.

Few ordinary women want to be made to feel like they're hateful or cruel. As soon as we talk about women's issues, examples of individual men are brought up, and women are tricked into talking about them by either proving how kind we are ("of course I don't want anyone to be raped, male victims deserve help!") to distract us from our issues and re-centre men again, or women dismiss that obviously malicious call for compassion ("feminism isn't about men, sort your own issues out!") and then men use it as a reason as to why feminism is evil, because anything without kindness and compassion is wrong.

Women need to be taught that it's not unkind to put ourselves first, and that men use our compassion against us.

In feminism, our kindness and compassion must be reserved for our fellow women.

Women can be kind and compassionate to men in their private lives if they want, but that isn't part of feminism - and they need to be reminded that they won't get that kindness and compassion returned.

It might sound strange, but peaking about gender helped me to accept my bisexuality, understand feminism and start me on a real path to understand that I'm a person whose actual consent matters.

When I was younger and unsure (and quite hateful about) my bisexuality, and thoughtlessly repeated some feminist talking points, I ignored all of my doubts because they know better. At first, I didn't know why I was uncomfortable and upset about the push for bisexual women to accept being in sapphic relationships with males. Or why it was transphobic for a bisexual woman to not date/have sex with a TIM. Etc etc etc.

I doubted myself and my upset until I saw the sexual harassment of lesbians, and others that were much more intelligent and switched on than myself pointing out the lesbophobia and rape promotion and apologism, as well as the repeated, underlined anger about sexuality and consent.

It was first my outrage about lesbians (and, to a much lesser extent, gay men) that made me realise, wow, my sexuality doesn't implicitly suggest consent, which then made me sit back and actually consider how other women were fawning to avoid the rage and lesbophobia and biphobia and doxxing and rape and death threats, which then spread further to understanding my existence as a woman.

There's a stereotypical and misogynistic point that men bring up about how feminists are always miserable and obsessed about oppression, as if it ruins us somehow, but it absolutely does feel more grounding.

You spend your whole life isolated and only allowed crumbs of sanitised and safe "feminism," to the point where you dismiss every slight and every harm, from the mansplaining to the assaults as random or bad luck or whatever else, and then suddenly, you're not crazy or oversensitive anymore, you're able to understand it.

As twisted as it sounds, it's grounding and peaceful, too. If you can break free and question the so-called holy right of males taking everything female for themselves, when family members, friends, the media, charities and even governments promote it all as progressive, then you can question everything, and there's no more empowering start to a journey than that.

Does anyone else feel more grounded since becoming gc. I'm no longer being asked to ignore my instincts, my emotions, and the reality around me in favour of a constant "religious" trial. I used to be so disassociated, but now I can just point out the obvious and not feel like I'm going to burn in hell for it lmao. Lots of religious words in here but you get it. I mean it when I say tras are spiritual. You have to be to ignore reality that much. And it feels just as good when you deconvert.