Latest Posts by mlu - Page 6

nice

STAR WARS APPRECIATION WEEK Day 1: favourite movie

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. ― Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)

i literally cannot escape

Sing it with me:

1 2 3 4 my pasword is secure

actually enjoying that tumblr made their "secret" dashboards easy to find now

Last hellsite standing

Tumblr Blaze is very good because tumblr correctly deduced that if they ran a real advertising service using targeted demographics we’d have burnt this site to the ground, but ALSO correctly deduced that we would be overjoyed to collectively pay large amounts of money to spread shitposts onto completely random dashes in a delighted flurry of slightly malicious mischief. You really do gotta hand it to em on this one, A+ problem solving.

OFFICIAL TUMBLR PRESS RELEASE

For Hellsite Eyes only…,

Hello again, Tumblr. Now that our dashboards are back to normal (‘normal’ doing some heavy lifting here), the crabs are back in tropical paradise (for now), and Mr. Brick Whartley is back with them, we felt it was time for reflection.

In his opening statement on April 1, Mr. Whartley, our now-former Head of Viral Marketing and Exponential Growth and Front End Software Developer, outlined his ambition to “...increase clicks across the platform by any means necessary”. Quite the lofty ambition. And this got us thinking—how did we do? And by we, of course, we mean you. Well, you didn’t disappoint, and if you like unnecessarily large numbers, you’re in for a real treat.

By 12:49 pm (PDT)/3:49 pm (EDT), the community had summoned 7.5 million crabs at a rate of 1.07 million crabs per hour. 

By the end of the day, there were 20,000 posts by 14,000 of you with the tag “time for crab.” Time indeed.

The community’s April Fools prank was a resounding success, with more than 52,000 posts from Tumblr users attempting to “crash” this Hellsite by scheduling posts all at the same time. 

Mr. Brick Wharley’s blog accumulated more than 3,000 followers and 12,000 notes, while @staff received nearly 50,000 notes across the day.

Perhaps Mr. Whartley didn’t do such a lousy job. Finally, the most important statistic of the day, the community summoned 25 million crabs across Tumblr on April 1, 2022.

Credit where credit’s due, folks. You did us proud, you did Mr. Whartley proud, and most importantly, you did yourselves proud. So give those index fingers a little rest—they deserve it. And you will need all your strength for April 1, 2023.

1970s cars

Crab hell compilation for those of yall on mobile who cant see em <3

Bon voyage @brickwhartley!

Tumblr for Windows Phone has arrived!

Find and follow the things you love

Share photos, gifs, video, quotes, chats, links, and text

Jump between your dashboard and Explore with just one swipe

Display the latest images from your dashboard on your lock screen and live tile

GIFs play as you scroll

Get the app

Arnold Schwarzenegger on Twitter

u know what i'll give it to them this one shows intimate knowledge of their user base

@cyle is not actually human. Don't be fooled, people!

hello there!

humans is an official blog run by actual people who work at tumblr. we made this blog so that we can reply to y'all in the notes of various posts.

actual humans:

Cyle (@cyle, he/him)

i like cheeseburgers

James (@macmanx, he/him)

Happiness Engineer at Automattic, GIF-maker on Tumblr, Trumpet in Polyhedra, and general doer of things at place.

Jas (@jezzuminah, she/her)

Artist on Tumblr, and Walking Encyclopedia. I've screamed about Chinese history at McD for 5 hours before (feel free to ignore me if that happens)

Lucila (she/her)

I refused to eat cows in the 80s, before it was cool

Emily (@emilyfowler, she/her)

lied about my age to make my first tumblr account and now I work to make sure kids don't lie about their age to make their first tumblr accounts

Bea (@key, she/her)

i like building towns for cute animals for my silly mental health and hyperfixating on things i learned about on tumblr.

Cates (@adulthoodisokay, she/her)

Secret old and extremely online. If something's trending on Tumblr I probably know why.

Jess (@theinex, she/her)

I have a dog named Kirby who loves watching the Food Network (obvi Guy Fieri). If there’s something weird, wild, but most importantly fun, happening on this Hellsite (affectionate), I’m probably one of the wizards behind the curtain.

Rocco (@photosbyrocco, he/him)

i make a lot of buttons here on tumblr dot com

Caroline (she/her)

i'm here for kpop and memes

kat (@kat, they/she)

i use [tumblr].

Elena (@reallyserious, she/her)

Recovering single-subject-Tumblr creator.

Lindsay (she/her)

Some of my favorite things are immersive podcasts (Mission to Zyxx 🛸, Seincast), gaming in VR, and learning alongside my fellow humans.

Tumblr has the best user driven tending algorithm out of any social media platform change my mind

facebook trends: BREAKING!! vaccines make your children GAY and AUTISTIC

twitter trends: gorgun mcfuck cancelled for saying orphans should be put to work in factories again

tiktok trends: here's why breathing is actually a sign of post traumatic adhd

tumblr trends:

Still have not known peace since that time I saw @frenchublog's onion head Grogu o(-( thank you for being a genius Fren 😌💕

do you have stats you can share about ad-free browsing uptake?

It's been promising so far, with thousands of subscriptions. Though it blocks ads on web, mobile, and the apps, it's only available for purchase on the web right now. Hopefully adoption will increase when it's available inside the apps. (Though the app stores will take 30% the first year, 15% on renewal years.)

this. this looks like something from the early internet but this is a new thing apparently oh my GOD

losing my mind

This is 100% new and 100% Tumblr with 0% ads.

If you love ads, then this post is not for you. If you love Tumblr but hate ads and want the one to continue without having to endure the other, then this post is literally for you. Hello, you.

As of today, you can set up ad-free browsing on your personal desktop computer, from anywhere in the world, and then enjoy the same effervescent Tumblr you know and love (yes, including mobile) without the interruption of ads. Scroll away.

Some caveats:

It’s $4.99 for a month of pure, unadulterated nonsense.

If you like a discount, you can get 33% off (that’s four months for free) at $39.99 for a whole year. Imagine.

This is opt-in. You don’t have to do this. We won’t make you.

How do you opt in?

Easy! Just go to your Account Settings on desktop and hit "Go Ad-Free." From there, you can choose to pay monthly or yearly:

And that’s it! You’ll be able to enjoy your favorite blogs and posts without any pesky ads getting in the way.

That’s all for now, Tumblr. Back to your blorbos.

i have an undying need to see my fav space trio fighting tgt again 😭