Why Is This So Accurate?

Why is this so accurate?

HUMANISTS:

Expectation- Grow! Strive! Excel!

Reality- Government of, by, and for the most insufferable shitheads you knew in high school

BRILLISTS:

Expectation- Unlock the mysteries of the human psyche!

Reality- Your president is a smug sack of shit who’s also computer-racist

EUROPEANS:

Expectation- Unbreakable bonds of cultural tradition

Reality- “You seized my borderlands, you executed my hero, you conquered me a thousand years ago, and I remember.”

COUSINS:

Expectation- Altruism, community, common good

Reality- Some rando’s crashing on your couch six out of seven nights and it’d be too awkward to say anything at this point

UTOPIANS:

Expectation- Join our constellations and build the future! Also, Fursona-Pokémon are real and you can have one!

Reality- I Fucking Love Science + ENDLESS SCRUPULOSITY HELL

MASONS:

Expectation- Power. Order. Eternal tradition.

Reality- Facebook feed is endless unironic “when did THIS [modern architecture] become hotter than THIS [Byzantine spires]”

MITSUBISHI:

Expectation- Noble stewards of our terrestrial inheritance

Reality- Everyone’s least-favorite rent-seeker, and you don’t even have close to enough property to have a say in anything

WHITELAWS:

Expectation: Morally upright, clean living, stable communities

Reality: Mormonism but without the pretense of spiritual development

GRAYLAWS:

Expectation- Join the one group that isn’t directly run by lunatics

Reality- Somehow even more milquetoast than just becoming a Cousin because your ba'pas are

BLACKLAWS:

Expectation- Proud, honorable libertines, shining example of voluntary self-governance

Reality- The worst possible overlap in the Venn diagram of ancaps and LARPers

More Posts from Mjollydragon and Others

8 years ago

I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve read that the X-men are a deliberate metaphor for being LGBT+.

“ezra miller is going to be the first lgbt+ person to play a superhero!!”

i mean yes he’s going to be the first to get a solo movie but

“ezra Miller Is Going To Be The First Lgbt+ Person To Play A Superhero!!”
“ezra Miller Is Going To Be The First Lgbt+ Person To Play A Superhero!!”

Tags
9 years ago

(I’m not getting it because it’s her style, just because I like it.)(Not that there’s anything wrong with getting your hair cut specifically to look like a celebrity.)

How should I get my hair cut? send me suggestions!

9 years ago

so a lot of fantasy settings do the thing where there’s one or two or maybe three human societies, all based on European cultures unless they’re bad guys, and then the non-human cultures are all based on non-European cultures, like orcs will be loosely based on Mongols and there’ll be an animal race with superficial Native American trappings.  And for many reasons this can get really annoying.

But what if we turn it around?  There’s an awful lot to explore if we stick a different angle on it.  I want to see a thing where the human kingdoms are based on, say, imperial Mali around the time of Mansa Musa and the Mughal empire, and then maybe the orcs are based on pre-Roman Gaul, and the marauding beastfolk raiders look like Polish winged hussars, and your secretive-and-xenophobic but wise-and-spiritual elves or whatever are based on all the most alien and unfamiliar bits of medieval Catholicism.

9 years ago

soulmate au where instead of your soulmates first words to you written on your skin it’s their last words you ever hear them say so you don’t know who your soulmate is until you lose them

9 years ago

No one knew who the tabby belonged to, though they presumed Mrs Figg as the cat had been seen to enter her house. However, it also seemed rather fond of number four’s back garden and the green eyed boy with whom it played most Sunday afternoons when the Dursleys went out. Of course McGonagall would never admit she had a fondness for playing with Harry when she was supposed to be keeping an eye on him.

9 years ago
George Takei Educating The Ignorant
George Takei Educating The Ignorant
George Takei Educating The Ignorant

George Takei educating the ignorant

9 years ago

I’m fairly certain that Bernie has never tried to kill Hillary. Then again, my Latin teacher said that our only primary source for Cateline’s actions is Cicero’s speeches, which are not exactly going to be the most trustworthy in this scenario.

Au Where The Romans Make Political Memes

au where the Romans make political memes


Tags
9 years ago

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

Keep reading

9 years ago

Yes, of course. Not letting boys wear skirts is still a form of sexism.

Reblog if you think it's ok for boys to wear skirts

How much support we got out there?

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mjollydragon - Insert Witty Comment Here
Insert Witty Comment Here

Officially the world's fakest adult.

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