Mjfpendragon - Madonna J.F. Pendragon

DNI if you don't wanna read brain vomit. Posting this as a little vent session, mainly for me

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Comfortability within pain is a weird skill to embrace.

Ive always found myself relating and almost trying to turn myself into characters who go through pain. Who end the show beaten bloody and broken, but are okay in a weird way. I find myself wanting to go on their journey, to feel that pain and wear those scars because then maybe I won't have to speak to everyone again.

People always assume my character through my appearance, and why not let their imaginations run free even if it isn't true? But I guess I don't want that. I want people to see my blood to know I have a heart pumping it.

This comes from watching Arcane season 1 again, and tantalizing about what having my teeth knocked out feels like. What getting into a fight where I have to claw for air feels like. All my pain has been through the air, but the traumatized (or just severely masochistic) part of me only craves to know what scars can do for me. Everything else I've done is to shape my image for other people against the grain of what has eroded me.

The world hurts and I hurt and we all hurt and I love every second of being alive. I hold my friends hands, or watch them cough up a lung trying a new strain of weed, or go on coffee walks with them so we can talk about writing, and all of my pain makes those steps feel so gentle. I was beaten by my dad, not fate. Fate brought me to the right place, and will continue to do so for my remaining years.

I don't like pain. But it's easy. I know how to fix that. I know what bandages to buy. But when it lies in my brain, I just wanna go back to sleep and wake up when I don't want to hurt anymore. When I don't think I deserve this punishment that so many people convinced me was warranted.

It'll happen one day. Just gotta keep on trucking.

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If you did read this, oof, but fair enough.

showtime!

Totally meant to reblog this on my other account oops 🫣🫣

My boobs are just dog toys for silly little puppy girls

My wife 😭😭

My wife my goddess

wants to be clingy 🤝 scared of being annoying

My second wife is so pretty

First drawing of 2025, here comes Vi 😄

Enjoying that bath - after a long chat, Karlach dozes in the water while Tav reads. She doesn't have to worry about the water cooling off very quickly, that's for sure.

Above image is a pride flag with every color band represented by a NASA image. White is Earth clouds, pink is aurora, blue is the Sun in a specific wavelength, brown is Jupiter clouds, black is the Hubble deep field, red is the top of sprites, orange is a Mars crater, yellow is the surface of Io, green is a lake with algae, blue is Neptune, and purple is the Crab Nebula in a specific wavelength.

With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)

You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯

The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)

You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))

This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D

Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪

Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.

If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O

I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)

Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ

Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.

If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.

a little bit of my recent ghost art!

i'm not usually on tumblr at all but thought i'd post it here too and maybe force y'all to listen to my gay little ramblings (affectionately) ^^