I'll Say It Twice, And This One Will Be Brief.

nose kisses

“Katniss is only focused on survival” yes? but … also … no? like, she’s willing to give her life away for the people she loves in a whole heartbeat that’s why she volunteers for Prim that’s why she takes out the nightlock it’s why she wants Peeta to win the Quell … Katniss IS a survivor that’s essential to her character, but she’s also deeply sacrificial

and while I’m on it, I find it ironic that Katniss was popularly portrayed as “I don’t have time for love, Peeta! I am fighting a war!” when in reality Mockingjay is just like a lot of Katniss going, “I don’t have time for this war: I want Peeta back!”

ZUTARA FICS

Read

The Sun, the Moon, and the Truth – by thee senlinyu, post war, angsty angst, smut, pining

Purr – modern uni au, TA zuko, zuko pursues katara, sliiiight angst, smut & fluff

Sunshine Riptide – post war, smut, tension

The Sparrowkeet series – angsty angst, one shots, gaang

My faves from the series — Sparrowkeet – e2l kinda, angsty angst I don't have a clue – jealousy Heartbeats (or, Wherein Toph is Smarter and Generally More Awesome Than Everyone Else) – angst A Rush of Blood to the Head – e2l kinda The Fourth Wall (or, The Ember Island Players) – angst

when you say "it's gonna happen now" – modern au, f2l, fluff

it's late and i think it's about time for you and me to get closer – character study, smut, yearning, longing

as if you were on fire from within/the moon lives in the lining of your skin – modern au, rivals to lovers, smut, fwb

To be Read

Journeys – modern uni au

Dancing in the Dark – Ba Sing Se

Twist Me to the Left – modern band au

and expectations she won't meet – modern au, TA zuko

indigo summer – modern au, surfer katara

Lotus Lake – modern boarding school au

The Penance Series – smut

His Majesty Prefers Blue

When The Mask Comes Off

Rumour Has It

This ffnet list This ao3 list

*stories w smut have aged-up characters as far as i know😭

yep, still me, still hung up on the timebomb tragedy, especially Ekko's part of it.

they are both shattered by what happened in their lives, both incredibly hurt, but, as I see it...

just imagine it went like this:

where Jinx thinks she decides to become Jinx, embody that insane, dangerous, devil-may-care explosive persona - all of it just to try and keep herself from breaking completely; just to try and give back to Silco who she saw as a father, as someone who didn't get scared by her pain, rage and voices (all the while not being a particularly good influence on her), just to not be Powder, the weak one, the outcast one, the clingy one -

to finally own and channel the jinx she came to see herself as -

Jinx got to swim in all the darkness she had within herself, drown in it, and flood the Lanes with it, free, destructive, and openly poisonous.

Jinx. The insane one. The killer one. The Loose Cannon.

- and Ekko never allowed himself to do that. he choked on his pain, swallowed it, allowed it to seep into his very bones. endured. built. provided for his community. resisted, repressed, redirected all the evil he knew in himself.

he couldn't afford to break. no. too much to lose, nothing to lose, no one to really talk to about what is eating him alive.

because how do you talk about missing your childhood friend-turned maniac... and actually missing the maniac that wore the face of Powder? who do you talk to?

how can you explain, even to yourself, that the people around you are not enough and you are longing for a connection long severed?

how can you say to your community that relies on you that you are actually a horrible hypocritical person who hates everything and sometimes everyone? who has to spend hours reminding himself that Powder is gone and Jinx is a monster and needs to be dealt with?

who enjoys fighting her? (it is exhilarating and freeing, and being in her orbit makes it okay for him to be a little insane and cruel, too - no one will notice,

Jinx outshines everyone).

Ekko knows it about himself, and hates it about himself, and has to be strong, to atone for the treacherous thoughts of missing Jinx, and not Powder, and pay for it with even more work.

say nothing, show nothing,

they all rely on you, you cannot let them down.

you cannot let them know how corrupted you are,

Boy Saviour.

[ Mockingjay, ch. 25, pg. 351 ]

"Peeta's still in the burn unit. He made it to the City Circle after all."

ONE line. This one line has me clawing at the walls because Peeta managed to follow her all the way. He was with her the whole time, to the point that he was just as injured in the bombs' blast as she was.

I know Katniss is an unreliable narrator BUT I NEED a little more appreciation for our love-drunk-even-when-hijacked idiot Mellark.

People need to understand that Zutara isn't about Zuko being the hot and sexy dream guy that makes Katara swoon. It's about their complimentary Tired Parent™️ energy and the fact that Zuko is—at all times—slightly terrified of Katara in the most smitten way possible.

oh my heart

everything, everywhere, all at once

Darker times will come and go

Times you need to see her smile

And mothers' hearts are warm and mild

I would rather feel this world through the skin of a child

—AURORA; Through the Eyes of a Child

make no mistake, I am well aware I am projecting onto both Ekko and Jinx like hell, I know...

and yet.

can't stop thinking about them.

like, imagine how he would cope with her loss. it's not that hard, there are some truly amazing fanfiction works that are exploring that topic, I am just offering you my spin, my musings that I keep leaving here instead of sitting down and writing my own fanfic.

how would he cope?

first, of course, comes the shock. just... an exhale, his chest caving in, hands trembling, tears ready to spill onto his cheeks —

and then - slam! — an imaginary metal wall drops down on him, cutting all feelings off, as if they are buzzing behind it, but Ekko can't access them anymore.

he needs to work. do something, solve something, save her someone, at least...

so he works.

there goes denial. there was no body, she may be alive, there was no body, so maybe she didn't suffer long when she died. he is fine, he is fine, he is fine, there is so much to do in Zaun, clearing out the streets, cleaning, burying, mourning, treating the injured, supporting others, overseeing the works, playing with kids, designing, inventing, building — he is freaking fine, there was no body found, so he's fine, he has no time to stop, he'll rest later, later because there's not anyone he can truly share the load with...

of course, they fucking took her from him.

of course, she fucking left. left Vi, left Sevika, damn her, left him.

she fucking left him.

alone.

to fend for himself — and everyone and everything else.

she stayed, she fought alongside him, she tinkered, ate, slept next to him — and still fucking left him!

alone!

again!

— so there comes anger

and makes everything even worse.

[tbc.]

once the quell starts, every kiss between katniss and peeta is so soft and natural. a light kiss before parting for the quell (cf, 75). another one as a greeting in the arena (cf, 77).

and, like almost everything katniss and peeta do in the quell arena, it is reminiscent of a married couple. two people who know each other so intimately and deeply that kisses and affection become a part of their routine.

and after the intensity of the beach scene, their relationship takes on a new softness, returning to that married-stage with a new reverence.

and so when katniss takes peeta's face in her hands and kisses him before they split up at the end of the quell, it parallels the kisses that peeta gave to her before the quell began (cf, 105). the ones that acted as a reassurance that they would see each other soon. the ones that promised reunion.

but, of course, the rebellion had other plans. and katniss and peeta never did get a reunion kiss. 

and so, at the beginning of mockingjay, katniss is left sitting on her bed. rocking her body as she rolls the pearl between her lips. still waiting for her reunion kiss. weeks later. trying to sooth herself with the memory of peeta (mj, 32).

and that is what makes it even more tragic when katniss runs to kiss peeta after his arrival in district thirteen. because it seems like she will finally get the reunion that she has been waiting for. the one started with the kiss under the lightning tree that begged to be resolved (mj, 152).

but it didn't resolve. because her peeta doesn't show up. and instead of a soft kiss, she get bruises.

so, she is still left holding onto the pearl, trying to remember the boy with the bread (mj, 168). the one that she feels is so far away from her. the one still in snow's grasp.

and katniss gives up. she wants nothing to do with the stranger that bares her beloved's face. 

but when it truly seems like she might lose her precious boy with the bread forever in the winding capitol tunnels, she leans down and kisses him fully (mj, 267). 

and this kiss is not like everlark's soft, routine kisses. or their empassioned kisses like the beach scene.

instead, the kiss hidden deep in the capitol tunnels is one that solidifies the two lovers together. one that is begging him to stay with her. one that is pleading for him to not let snow take him away for good.

it is a kiss meant to remind peeta of who he is. and who katniss is. and who they are. a kiss that is meant to say everything that they don't have time for. 

a kiss that signals an ultimate, long-awaited reunion.