The Past Was Kinder…

Bruh, Bruce tried to fucking lobotomize him. Ain't no fucking way Jason just fucking forgives him omfg

[Damien and Tim are walking back to the manor after picking Damien up from school]

Kidnapper: [pulling up in a van] Hey kids, I’m your mom’s friend from work! She asked me to come pick you guys up and take you home!

Tim: *snorts*

Damien:

Damien: So first of all-

this is what I'm getting from the DC fandom right now

barbenheimer batfam edition i guess

pretty sure they'd all go watch barbie tho

This is my favourite trio, definitely. I love them annoying Bruce.

Jason being done with being the child of divorce in Catwoman #58

Damian, curled up in the library, reading a book he found that's been thoroughly annotated by someone. It's full of post-its. The person didn't write directly on the pages.

He can't quite figure out who did this. No one in the manor really fits the profile. The remarks are detailed, passionate almost. And the book's a romance novel of all things.

He reads through it while enjoying the commentary left by the mystery person. He blue screens for a second when he finds it signed at the end.

Jason Todd Wayne.

Funniest thing about Cass becoming the next Batman is if she also has to play up the frivolous multi-millionaire act.

Debutante Cass needing to pretend to be the lucky orphan picked up by Bruce Wayne in some little village in some East Asian country no white person has ever heard of nor cared about.

Cass playing the part of the spoiled, air-headed heiress, which turns out to be shockingly easy because rich people clutch their pearls when she stirs her coffee with the dessert spoon. She's a little disappointed because she watched Legally Blonde and Clueless like 50 times each to memorize and prepare lines.

Cassandra Wayne, wild heiress going to drug-filled parties (to trace the stuff back to the supplier) and hiring sex workers (to investigate whether or not they're human trafficking victims).

Cass attending charity events for photo ops with the most awkward forced smile you can imagine.

Ignore Gotham war mess go read DC's Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun #1 we got Dick and Jason team up

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost