Dick: Hey Jay, What Do You Want For Your Birthday?

honestly i forgot that dick originally wanted to adopt jason as well just imagine how chaotic that would’ve been like

——————

jay: uh what’s for dinner

dick: well we have cereal and…

dick:

dick: hey don’t kids like the whole breakfast for dinner thing?

jay: i miss alfred

——————

dick: and for a bed i’d like to introduce you to this lovely thing called a futon!!

jay: …better than a cardboard box i guess

——————

jay: can i fight crime yet

dick: you’re a child

jay: you’re a slightly larger child

dick: …fair point, no extreme violence and minimum 4 flips per patrol

——————

dick: when a mommy and daddy love each other very much—

jay: i am not doing this with you dickface i know what sex is

dick: wait no little wing i have a powerpoint presentation. it’s color coded and everything!

jay: i wish i’d stayed on the street

——————

dick: okay that’s enough, you know what, get on top of the fridge

jay, hissing: this house is a fucking nightmare

——————

jay: hey some friends at school wanted to watch a movie, is it okay if they come here—

dick: yes, yes! oh my god finally i’m so proud you’re making friends jaybird, i’m gonna be the coolest host dad ever i’ll make pizza and

jay, already on the phone: yeah he said no, sorry guys, can we do it at tommy’s?

——————

dick teaching jason trapeze and circus stuff 😭

——————

jay: god the circus is so lame

dick: exCUSE ME i’m disowning you, get out

jay: WHAT

——————

dick, who forgot to pick up jay from school: oh god i’m so sorry, i’ll never do it again

jay, who’s thrilled to be allowed in the library after hours every time, but never one to pass on a guilt trip: wow dick i never thought you of all people would abandon me

——————

dick: listen my support group says-

jay: you joined a support group for single moms dickface, that doesn’t count

dick: it does too, they all think i’m very brave for doing this alone

jay: for fucks sake-

——————

dick, coming home late from a date and seeing the lights on: uhh hello?

jay, sitting on a stool: and just where have you been all night young man?

dick: IM 26

——————

jason, pointing at the wayne family photos: so who do we like, and who do i hate on principle

dick:

dick: okay so this is complicated

jason: there’s only like three living people??

dick: right. so—

——————

dick, who pulled an all-nighter working on a case: good morning!

jay, who was reading jane austen and didn’t notice the sun came up: right…morning

dick:

jay:

dick: you didn’t sleep did you

jay: well clearly neither did you

dick: fair enough, coffee?

——————

jay: so this guy was shovin’ me around and-

dick: i’ll kill him

jay: …no.

dick: but-

jay: his mom’s the librarian and i can’t afford to fall out of sharon’s good graces

——————

dick: look it’s not my fault i’m so charismatic

jay: i’m not asking for a lot here

dick: you’re asking me to suppress my nature

jay: i’m asking you to stop flirting with all my teachers at parent teacher conferences

dick: c’mon it’s not that big of a deal

jay: …miss shields gave me her phone number to pass along the other day. so did mr. burnes, it’s getting outta hand dick

dick: oh i see, this is serious

dick: she’s really cute, maybe i should-

jay: STOP IT

——————

Oh. My. God.

(to the person who made this mod, thank you for your service🙏)

just here to say if you make ellie x male reader love fics you are messed up! ellie is a lesbian and sexualizing lesbians when youre a male is what we dont want to do thank you

tell them

Batman #145 - "Dark Prisons" (2024)

written by Chip Zdarsky art by Jorge Jimenez & Tomeu Morey

Happy International Asexuality Day!

Jason being done with being the child of divorce in Catwoman #58

compare.

Funniest thing about Cass becoming the next Batman is if she also has to play up the frivolous multi-millionaire act.

Debutante Cass needing to pretend to be the lucky orphan picked up by Bruce Wayne in some little village in some East Asian country no white person has ever heard of nor cared about.

Cass playing the part of the spoiled, air-headed heiress, which turns out to be shockingly easy because rich people clutch their pearls when she stirs her coffee with the dessert spoon. She's a little disappointed because she watched Legally Blonde and Clueless like 50 times each to memorize and prepare lines.

Cassandra Wayne, wild heiress going to drug-filled parties (to trace the stuff back to the supplier) and hiring sex workers (to investigate whether or not they're human trafficking victims).

Cass attending charity events for photo ops with the most awkward forced smile you can imagine.

This is my favourite trio, definitely. I love them annoying Bruce.