one thing about me as a batman fan is that im not 100% convinced his penis works very good. im completely fine with fanfic where hes horny as hell and fucks like a machine and all that but in my heart of hearts im like. this man has erectile dysfunction.
like first of all theres the psychological aspect, in the sense that that man is stressed the hell out and traumatized and paranoid and juggling like 600% more in his head than the average person, which im told doesnt usually contribute to great boners. so there's that part. getting the man to put down his schedules and business concerns and the three different cases hes working on in the back of his head and the updates he wants to make to the batmobile and all that shit. that guy is Distracted during sex. he loses his boner at least once a session because he starts thinking about killer croc or something and yeah hes freaky but not really in that direction, sorry. this is a thing that happens to him and is a known phenomenon to his partners.
and then second of all physiologically im not convinced that he hasnt mangled his penis to some degree in the course of all the training and crimefighting and whatnot. like even taking extra pains to protect it as im sure he would, all of the times that man has been exploded and thrown through walls and glass and all of the jumping off of buildings and swinging around he does?? i simply dont believe his penis has emerged entirely unscathed. you absolutely cant tell me that in the early days he didnt at least twice take a running leap off of something, misjudge his landing, and absolutely destroy his balls when he slipped and took a wrought iron fence full force between the legs. this must have happened. i know it to be true that this man has scars on his dick that he didn't ask someone to put there on purpose and i do kinda think it could eventually affect his sexual function, even aside from the impact of all of his other various and perpetual injuries causing him pain.
so what im saying is that my headcanon is that batman's dick game is weak as hell at least 50% of the time. what that dick do? today, absolutely nothing. tomorrow, who knows. which tbh i find kinda hot in a roundabout way actually, so. love that for him. sorry about your penis, batman.
👋🙂🏳️🌈
It is with great honor I present to all of you….
Beldaruit fancam
yj core four hugsss !!!!!!!!
yknow that thing kids do where they wake their parents up by staring at them in the darkness until they jolt awake to see a dark figure standing over them??
never forget the time Bruce forced Dick to paint an entire building (and himself!) yellow to fuck with the Green Lantern
he even drank lemonade for good measure <3
not to be a killjoy but it's still crazy to me that it's considered mean to be like "maybe you should read / play / watch the source material before creating fanworks and diving into the fandom" bc every time i see somebody going "i havent played disco elysium or know anything about it tbh but uwu here's harry and kim kissing" idk maybe you should engage with it. maybe you should play the anti-capitalist surrealist game where you investigate the murder of a mercenary who led the gang rape of a foreign girl and process that for a bit? and then you can do cutesy mlm or whatever idc. but like at the absolute bare minimum you should understand what the source material involves otherwise we get the phenomenon of people joining a dragon age server and wanting content warnings for like, mage racism. like it's fine to ship and transform the genre into whatever but if you arent comfortable with discussions of the actual source content itself then maybe the fandom isnt for you and a different one is. peace and love.
Honestly Tim cheating has been blown out of proportion.
Tim Drake’s hasn’t actually cheated in his comics. He has been accused of cheating twice and was once surprise kissed by Steph while dating another girl after he told Steph he has a girlfriend. That being said, Tim having messy relationships is a defining character trait. He struggles to balance his obligations as a hero and a person; work life balance is not in his toolbelt.
He has never had a romance go well and he shouldn’t start now. He will forget your birthday, dinner with your parents, your favorite flower, and if you’re allergic to peanuts and he will not apologize. He’s busy saving the world.
Tim Drake shouldn’t cheat on Bernard. He should miss six dates in a row to save New York from a herd of ManBats and have a weird situationship with another hero where they play flirt for six months. But when they ask him on a date, he should say “sorry I have a boyfriend” and then dream about them in a totally homoerotic way that’s weirdly platonic.
forget “this meeting could’ve been an email” this four-way stop could’ve been a traffic light
Tim Drake haters are so hilarious because, yes, he's an evil little sh!t but from an outsiders perspective THIS is what you hate:
You hate this little guy? He's never done wrong ever. He's just baby. Look at him U_U
(I am the Silco to his Jinx, I see diabolical war crimes and think "He's perfect.")
🌻Katie | 18 | (she/her)🌻~My ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkimae
169 posts