Yesterday Was The One Year Anniversary Of My Mom Being Able To Quit Smoking!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

Villain: I have your child Father: Which one? Villain: Ummm... long brown hair and brown eyes. Chubby but not fat, mostly skinny but with chub. She's smiling at the floor for some reason. Father: Oh! That's my daughter Mikachu! Yeah you don't have her... she has you. HAVE FUN SWEEITE!

You were the only child that didn’t have powers in a family of metahumans. Today you got kidnapped by a supervillain… and none of your family came to the rescue.

SO THAT'S WHERE MY WISH FOR A WHITE CHRISMAS WENT TO?! I MEAN'T IN MY CITY!!!

Me: *sees them with blood* Beasty #1: You taught us well! Me: I JUST READ YOU A MURDER MYSTERY! I DIDN'T TEACH YOU ANYTHING?! WHY DO YOU HAVE THE BODY WITH YOU???

You were the caretaker for the mythical beasts of the royal family. Yesterday they decided to replace you with some incompetent noble, before kicking you out of the castle. You then spent the night in a nearby forest. However today you were awakened by the beasts who chose to follow you.

"My mom says we shouldn't wish for stuff, so what's the point really. Best to do things yourself! And yes I know I could wish for world peace but we don't know how long it'll last, and there are million other things I could wish for to help human kind, but we all need to work on our issues ourselves"

"I, the genie, offer you three wishes-" "I wish for you to be free." "You can onl- wait, what?"

My 65 year old grandma and I both think they look like tanks. Why are they built like that?

Every time I see one

"Roomie, why are you threatening me? I do you're fucking laundry because you can't do it for the life of you. Ge the gun out of my face or else you'll somehow explode your clothes when they're in the dryer"

Today you just found out your roommate with strange hobbies, like knowing how to pick a lock, knows how every puzzle and cipher by heart, or how to commit tax fraud, and so many other things, wasn't a guy with ADHD, he was an ex-assassin and now you have a gun pointed at your face

Me: "Okay then, I sense cowpox... Let's turn that into smallpox and kill you! Please don't cough!"

You’re the healer of the group. The rest of the party has always treated you like you’re made of glass. You were content to stay out of their way and let them do their thing. Until they all got downed leaving you the only one standing. That’s when you show them how deadly healing magic can be.

Girl why are you awake?! it's past midnight!

Chrome look: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tcXfRKSxbJY copy and paste that link and watch video.

switch ups go crazy fr

Hey... That's a good deal. I'm bisexual, I love Hades from greek mythology cause he's the nicest person. I'd be happy to date/marry his daughter.

You are perfectly immortal. You can’t age, you can’t get any wounds, you can survive anything, and even if the universe were to end you are immediately taken to another universe. Not because you are demi-god or a wizard, but because the god of death’s daughter is in love with you.

I then go straight home. The bully thinks I'm running away. I later return with a wooden staff I got from the renaissance fair that's almost as tall as I am. "I got this stick. And imma beat you with it"

Prompt #5

He snickered mockingly.

"You're too much of a chicken to actually go through with this."

She bit the inside of her cheeks hard, trying to show as little emotion as possible. She was done with his bullying.

"Watch me."