Okay Hastily Tried To Finish This In Time For The 16th Birthday Of Merlin!! Merlin’s Baking A Cake

imagine being the cuck in ur own story for centuries and then all it takes is a magic twink with drinkable eyes and all of a sudden there’s thousands of stories where you’re the main love interest, getting it in every which way. happened to my friend arthur pendragon

women keep coming up to me giggling and blushing and running their finger along the edge of my mighty greatsword like STOP theres literally evil afoot

You can't blame Merlin for calling Arthur a ‘Lazy-daisy’, if this is how Arthur looks like whenever he sleeps/wakes up:

Psalters: Not even once.

kind of obsessed with thesaurus dot com claiming that lover is a synonym for knight

"You don't know me. I'm not the same person anymore."

"That's okay. I'll get to know you again."

I really appreciate that the Alliterative Morte Arthure is giving Kay a solid 45 lines to go full batshit mad scientist on his feast preparations, featuring

Peacocks, plovers, pork, porcupine, herons, swans, beef, wild boar, barnacle goose, young hawks in bread, cranes, curlews, rabbits

By my rough count, approximately eight different kinds of wine

On-fire blue stews ("wavy with azure sauce all over, they appeared to be flaming")

More fire: "pheasants adorned in flaming silver"

Poison-proof gold cups: ("So that if any poison should go secretly under them [in the cup],/The bright gold would burst all to pieces with anger,/Or else the poison should lose its power because of the virtue of the precious stones")

do yall know about this

the lady of the lake