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speaking into the void

day 1: Do I actually hate biology?

I've been meaning to start writing again and now seems to be a time as good as ever.

The decision that led me to pursue a degree in biology was very thought out and, at the time, very deliberate, but now it all seems a bit blurry. I still find the topics we discuss in class truly interesting, why don't I feel engaged? Does my interest only stem from novelty? Do I actually hate biology?

Maybe I just dislike things I'm not good at.

Here are some of my highlights today!

Cleaned the house and studied a bit of vertebrate anatomy, we are entering a unit on the neural system so I'm afraid I'll fall behind if I slip up on my studies

soundtrack

what I've been listening

currently reading: The Development of Biological Though, Ernst Meyer

It seems silly but I respond well to reading and knowing the history of the subjects I'm studying, maybe a tome will reignite my passion for the sciences

sorry yeah ive got a bad case of Thinking About My Friends. im afraid its incurable. symptoms include happiness and love and wishes that they will have the life they want to live.

sigaa! permita que eu faça as minhas optativas e a minha vida será sua

[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled “immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]

a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”

"Talk to your tutors" "talk to your peers" "present your work" "you may get the chance to go to a conference" "this module is designed to be interactive" "go to the academic society socials" they just don't let you be a reclusive academic these days