May I request the reader being childe’s younger sibling in their teen years and ends up falling into the abyss while he’s off in Liyue
what happened to you?
# — characters: gender neutral reader, childe/ajax, skirk, zhongli, aether, lumine, kaeya, albedo
# — summary: you're not the same person ajax left behind.
# — warnings: blood/fighting/injury mentions
# — tags: hc/drabble format, egregious canon divergence, angst, fluff ??, abyss prince aether, kaeya and albedo are associated with the abyss, traveler lumine
# — notes: when i saw this req, i got so fucking excited, you have no idea. this is so cool to think about, holy shit. when i say i sat here and wrote this for hours, i mean it very very seriously. also, if it wasn't already obvious, i have a thing for making the reader strong, so this is really up my alley. anyways, as always, reblogs are appreciated and i'd love to know what you think about this! i hope you enjoy!
# — tag list: @marius-z @sxnnyserene @favonius-captain @the-gayest-sky-kid @chichikoi
want to join the tag list?
✧ — 🐋 — ✧
it's actually not specified just how many older siblings childe has, but it is known that he has some
so let's say for the sake of this post that you were born after ajax
the gap between you two isn't very large -- he's in his very early twenties and you're in your late teens -- but it's enough to make a difference
he treats you almost the same as he treats tonia, teucer, and anthon, and no matter how much you tell him to stop, he just .. won't
don't get me wrong, ajax is an amazing older brother
it's just that he has this habit of treating you like a little kid
you followed closely at his heels when you two were a bit younger
you looked up to him despite him being a timid boy, because though he was timid, he was ambitious
even before he became a fighter, he vowed to protect you by any means necessary
so, onto the abyss.
when ajax returned after being missing for three days, you tried to cling to him as you usually did, but a simple glance at him told you everything you needed to know about him
whoever it was that came out of that forest... wasn't your brother.
something was missing in your brother's eyes when he came home that day -- something important. you didn't notice it at first, but you were still the first to notice something was wrong.
when he ran away with nothing but a bag of bread and a shortsword, you shared in your mother's grief, even at the age of 10. with snezhnaya's unforgiving weather, you were sure that you would stumble across ajax's frozen body within a day. your father was on a trip somewhere far away, and your mother was too busy tending to your lively home to set out to search for her son herself.
"we just have to wait," your mother told you, her face swollen from crying for hours. she loved each and every one of you more than she loved herself; if something happened to any one of you, it would surely break her down. you wept with your mother as she cradled you in her arms. "by the grace of the cryo archon, he'll return." she whispered.
you, like many other snezhnayans, trusted in the cryo archon's judgement, even if she was merciless at times. you said silent prayers for two nights, hoping that she would answer.
when dawn broke on the third day, you truly thought the tsaritsa heard your desperate pleas.
you were the first one awake that morning. you often climbed into bed with ajax since you had frequent nightmares and a horrid fear of the dark, but without him there to fight off the terrors of the night, you couldn't sleep very well. you quietly trudged around your house with your favorite blanket draped across your shoulders. mornings were quiet in your house, even if there were so many of you living there.
you gazed tiredly out the window at the snowy terrain. you remembered your mother's words about waiting and rested your head on the cool windowpane. you would have given anything to see your brother walk out from the forest in the distance, safe and sound.
apparently, you didn't have to give a thing. movement in the distance caught your eye and you squinted, straining your eyes to try and make out the features of the stranger. as they got closer, you pick up the faint image of a familiar shortsword.
it's him. it had to be. you were sure of it.
not caring if you were wrong, you shed your blanket and flung open the door, your face aching with how wide your smile was. "ajax!" you screamed at the person.
they halted in their tracks at the sound of the same and waited for a few seconds before they picked up the pace, sprinting towards you. once they got a little closer, you noticed the familiar head of orange hair and ran to meet them halfway, your bare feet sinking into the snow.
your mother and siblings came running down the stairs behind you, afraid that something had happened to you, but stilled themselves when they saw you tackling your brother into a crushing hug, the two of you collapsing into the snow with loud laughter.
"we were so worried about you!" you cried, your arms tightening around your brother. he was still laughing. "why did you leave us?"
ajax pushed himself up and took you along with him, hoisting you into his arms as he started towards the house. you yelped at the swift movement and wrapped your legs around him. "i wanted to explore by myself for a while," he said, his hand patting your back. "i scared you, didn't i?"
you nodded quickly. "mhm! more than the monsters under the bed!"
ajax made a soft sound. "that's no good. i'm sorry. i'll make it up to you when we get inside, okay? let's get you warmed up first."
your entire family doted on ajax all day when you two got inside. you all treated him to his favorite foods and games while your mother inspected him for injuries despite his insistence that she stop.
that should have been the warning sign.
when the day ended and everyone returned to their rooms to head to sleep, you and ajax stayed on the living room floor and talked about his time away. you told him about how you tried to be a big kid with him gone -- how you tried and failed to fight off any monsters that may have been lurking in your room. ajax patted your head with an apologetic smile.
"i'll crush those monsters for you tonight, okay?" he said.
at first you were excited to agree, but as you looked at your brother with the same starry eyes you always did, you found that something was.. off.
maybe it was the wording of his promise that tipped you off. he sounded far too enthusiastic about the idea of fighting off non-existent monsters. you knew very well that there were no monsters in your room; you were just afraid of the dark. it made you feel better to think there were so you could pretend to beat them up and conquer your fears. if you were both aware that this nightly monster hunt was a game, why did he look so excited by the idea of a battle?
you stared at ajax for a little while longer, trying to figure out if you were just making stuff up because you were scared. once you were in panic mode, it was hard to not see everything as some sort of monster. ajax was always the exception to that feeling.
or at least, he used to be.
you nodded and made an excuse about having to use the bathroom, scurrying up the stairs as quickly as your feet could manage. your breathing began to pick up as you recalled what you saw -- or more precisely, what you didn't see -- in your brother's eyes.
the two of you were beneath the ceiling lights.
then why couldn't you see the lights reflected in his eyes?
ajax wasn't stupid. he picked up on your sudden fear of him right away that day.
he found it odd, though, that you didn't behave as though you were afraid of him.
there was a wall between you two that wasn't there before, but every so often you would reach across it, even when he caused trouble and started unnecessary fights.
your relationship mended itself over time because of his gratitude.
you were the only member of the family who knew of his early promotion to harbinger status. you disagreed with his way of life, but you tried not to treat him any different.
ajax was a different person altogether, and yet you still tried to accept that new person as your brother.
ajax, now childe, revises his vow:
to protect you and your light at all costs.
he did what he could to protect you, even from afar when he was sent to liyue. you exchanged letters with him that were separate from the ones he sent to the family
he would detail his plans and his complaints, and send you special gifts recommended by this zhongli person he met.
he tells you via letter one day that he met a fascinating blonde traveler. from a moment's glance, he knew she would be the perfect sparring partner and he told you as such
but towards the end, he tells you how much he thinks you would like her.
she was a lot like you, apparently.
so naturally, you decide that you have to meet her. crazy as your brother may be, it's not every day that you hear about ajax being so amazed by someone who wasn't the tsaritsa
you pack your stuff and sneak away in the night, making your way to the harbor by taking a shortcut through the forest
unfortunately, you ended up taking a very, very, VERY long detour.
when you come to, you immediately realize that there's a gap in your memory.
you remember tucking away ajax's last letter to you under your pillow; you remember walking through the forest to get to the docks; you remember being startled so badly by a passing deer that you slipped.
after that...
your body enters survival mode in an instant as you take in your surroundings. you were a smooth, ebony marble floor and as you look around, you notice that the rest of this room -- this castle -- was made of a similar material. you appear to be in a dark throne room of sorts; there was some obvious wear and damage that tainted the room, but there was an undeniable elegance in the obsidians, navys, golds, and silvers that made up the room.
how did you end up in a castle, of all places? did you fall and hit your head so hard that you fell into a coma? were you just dreaming? what throne room would be in the middle of the forest?
"another one?" a voice comes from in front of you, where the throne is. you blink rapidly when you actually see a blonde man in strange clothing sitting there. he wasn't there before, was he? you were alone a second ago.
"do the people of teyvat only know how to stare?" he scoffs at you, crossing one leg over the other. "what happened to common greetings?"
the blonde stranger has eyes that match the golden plating of his clothes, you notice. they burn holes through you as they seem to glow brighter in the dark atmosphere. he's suddenly joined by two other men; one with long blue hair and an eyepatch, and another with ashy light blonde hair and teal eyes so bright, you almost feel the need to shield your eyes. the newcomers stand on opposite sides of the throne, each of them assuming different postures.
"with all due respect," the man with teal eyes speaks. his voice is smooth and quiet. "the people of teyvat are not used to circumstances like this."
the blonde in the throne clicks his tongue impatiently. "then why do they put themselves in said circumstances?" his eyes haven't left yours for a second. you're too shell-shocked to speak; it must show on your face, because the blonde outlander raises an eyebrow at you, a small smirk forming when he sees you back away. "cute. they're afraid of me."
you struggle to find your voice. "wh-who," you swallow dryly, "who are you people? where am i? how did i get here?"
the blue-haired man leans on the throne nonchalantly. "my, my," he croons, "so many questions, and you've only just arrived here, little one." he chuckles when you visibly shudder at the sound of his voice. "i think we ought to introduce ourselves, no?"
the man with teal eyes hums in agreement. "i think that'd be best. we need to appear less threatening if we want them to start talking."
you make a small squeaking sound. what were they going to do to you if you didn't talk? thanks to your years of being around ajax, you picked up on his ability to read environments very well. this new place is terrifying and reeks of ancient death, but the men before you seem completely harmless, though that does little to soothe you. you were an intruder in their eyes, and only the archons know what they might do to an intruder like you.
you squeeze your eyes shut, fearing the worst. you just wanted to see your brother again -- wanted to see how happy he was in liyue. you didn't ask for all this. you just wanted to go home.
"it's been a while since someone's come down here." a woman's voice comes from behind you, scaring you enough to make you yelp out loud. her voice is rich and rough around the edges. she chuckles as you scoot backwards on the floor in an attempt to stay away from her. "we got ourselves a scaredy-cat this time, your highness."
your highness?!
you whirl back around to look at the blonde man in the chair. the white accents of his clothes and jewelry glow in response to the title. he was royalty? your stomach drops as your brain reminds you of what happens to people who disrespect those of such high standing.
"enough, skirk." the prince orders. "don't give them the wrong idea."
the woman -- skirk, apparently -- shrugs and walks towards the throne. "fine, fine." when she gets to where the prince and the other two men are, she shifts her weight onto one leg as she examines you from afar. her eyes suddenly light up with recognition. "say, kid; you wouldn't happen to be related to an 'ajax', would you?"
you feel the blood drain from your face. "h-how do you know my brother's name?"
skirk laughs. "i knew you looked familiar! say, how is he these days? i've been meaning to kick his ass again someday, but he never visits."
the prince snorts. "you'd prefer if people fell in this hellhole more often?"
"eh, it keeps me on my toes."
"how," you raise your voice abruptly, "how do you know my brother? answer me!"
you're not sure where you got the confidence to speak to these strangers with such force, but as time passes, you realize that you're cornered. each of these people possess so much raw power that you can almost taste it; even if you stayed quiet, you'd be no closer to escaping this place unscathed. so, you figure you may as well get as many answers as you can before they kill you.
you feel yourself break into a cold sweat at the thought of dying here. you were going to die alone -- your family has no idea that you left home and ajax thinks you're still at home, helping your mother around the house. none of them would know that you ended up here. ajax, anthon, tonia, teucer... none of them would know a thing. tears sting your eyes but you blink them away.
skirk makes an impressed noise. "your brother wasn't as brave as you, y'know." she praises. "he tried to act all tough in the beginning, but i heard him crying himself to sleep for like, a week. but you... you've got guts. i like it."
you give skirk your dirtiest scowl and feel exasperation build when she smiles at you. ajax ended up here when he went missing all those years ago? well, it was no wonder he came back a different person; these people were fucking insane. he's lucky he was able to fight and survive for so long.
skirk's words replay in your head. did she say ajax was here for a week? but that doesn't make any sense. he was only gone for three days.
"what is this place?" you ask after a moment.
"and that," the prince suddenly stands, "is where i come in. i think we should get on with these introductions, don't you?"
"what?" you blurt. "b-but you didn't answer my--"
the blonde ignores you. he introduces himself as aether. "currently, i'm in charge of whatever is left of this place. this," he points to the man with teal eyes, "is albedo. this man here is kaeya," he points at the man with blue hair, "and this--"
skirk holds up a hand, cutting aether off. you wonder why she hasn't been punished for her insolence yet. "i think i'll do a proper introduction later." she says, her eyes locked on yours. "believe it or not, we have some history together."
aether nods understandingly and makes his way over to you. when he takes a knee a little ways away to look at you at eye level, you belatedly realize that you've been on the floor this whole time. your face warms with shame; you're making a prince kneel because you're too weak to stand on your own.
now that he's closer, though, you notice how... kind his face really is. from this distance, his eyes look less like blinding lights and remind you more of the sun. you almost start to feel warm under his gaze. why was he looking at you like that now when he looked like he wanted to kill you a little while ago?
"you must be scared out of your mind, huh?" aether asks. he's lowered his tone for you. when you don't back away from him, you see the ghost of a smile appear on his face. "i'm sorry about earlier. we have to put up a front if we want people to respect us if and when they show up here."
"who wouldn't respect a prince like you?"
aether's laugh is low and mirthless. "you'd be surprised. here, if you want respect, you have to earn it by any means necessary. we test any intruders by intimidating them because humans reveal their true colors when they're at their most vulnerable."
you blink, dazed by his words. hasn't ajax said something like that before..? "s-so... did i pass?"
you didn't think you said that very loud, but apparently you did, because kaeya and skirk snicker from where they stand. you feel your face burn. aether's smile grows. "yes, little one." he rises to his feet and extends a hand to you, offering to help you up. you hesitate but take his hand regardless, pulling yourself to your feet with aether's help.
"you pass."
what happened then?
as nice as that little introduction to the abyss order was, rest assured that things did not remain that way.
first of all, aether and albedo explain to you in no uncertain terms that you cannot leave this place unless the abyss lets you
you basically have to prove yourself -- prove your worth -- if you want to come and go as you please.
and so, skirk puts you through training
and let me tell you, her training is HELL.
for weeks, you lie awake because of the pain she puts you through for hours at a time.
her endurance training tests not only your stamina, but your pain tolerance. she pushes you to the brink of death and barely waits for you to come back before she's on your ass again
you feel like giving up by the time the first month is over, but skirk sits you down after training one day and explains that you were progressing ten times faster than your brother did.
"ajax wasn't weak," she says, "not by a long shot. but he didn't have any prior training, and that stunted his growth." she hands you something to drink, chuckling when you gulp at it desperately. "did ajax even train you? also, slow down, kid, you might choke."
you gasp for air once you think you're fully hydrated. "no," you say between breaths, "he didn't."
now that you were acutely aware of your natural strengths and weaknesses, you know that you were born with better instincts than the average person. skirk told you that it was actually intuition, but you felt it was more than that. maybe it was a combination of the two.
if it was your intuition, then you would know why you felt the way you did in certain situations. intuition was born out of experiences and was based in your subconscious; in your case, you would have had to experienced all sorts of danger at some point to know why you respond the way you do.
but you didn't have any experience. up until now, you were a completely normal sixteen year old with a normal(-ish) life. somehow, your quick reactions and responses were already hardwired into you. with these sharp instincts, you quickly became a better fighter than even your brother.
skirk frowns at your words. "he should have. there's a lot of potential in you, and you're only just now tapping into it. now," she taps you twice, "let's get back to it."
you groan and stand, ignoring the screaming of your joints.
"oh, and one more thing." skirk pats your shoulder fondly. "happy birthday, kid. let's go."
you gape at your instructor. you never told her your birthday.
somehow, between the hellish training and near death experiences, you found a family in the people you met in the abyss.
your 17th birthday came and went, and before you knew it, you'd been in the abyss for six months.
by this point, you've grown close to the abyss prince
he's incredibly multi-faceted, which made more sense to you when you learned that he wasn't even a being from this world
he's a lot more terrifying and powerful than he looks, which didn't surprise you, considering you could feel power rolling off of him from the moment you met
you also learn that he's a twin and that they're separated from each other. he looks so guilty when he tells you the story.
"i walked away from her." aether says with a bitter smile. "i can't leave this place -- these people. not until i've finished what needs to be done. i'm sure she'll understand soon."
you hum in understanding. if ajax was here for three months, then surely he knew about this too. you wonder, distantly, if you'll be able to reconnect with him after this. "can i ask what your sister's name is?"
aether's smile becomes fond as several memories flash before his eyes. "lumine." he murmurs her name so softly; so reverently. you smile in return. you get that feeling. "her name is lumine."
"i was going to liyue to meet her," you inform the prince. his eyes widen a fraction, but he doesn't look displeased. "ajax talks so highly of her, so i wanted to be her friend."
aether rests a hand on your head. your smile fades when you think that he reminds you of ajax.
"she'd love you as much as i do." the prince says.
you find a family during your time down there.
what happens when you leave?
reality is not as kind to you as i've made it seem
age means nothing in the abyss. you are not spared a single detail. you know everything from your time there.
you fight alongside the remaining peoples of khaenri'ah, doing the job that the famed twilight sword could not.
you are highly respected and feared, but you become jaded in response.
you earn your electro vision while fighting monsters, but it means nothing to you. not when you know what you know.
a year passes in the abyss before you are told by albedo that you should leave with him.
(assuming that ajax was in the abyss for three months but was only missing for 3 days, the same would apply to you. 12 months = 12 days.)
he has responsibilities in mondstadt, but he can ensure that you arrive in liyue safely.
he, like aether, kaeya, and skirk, have become family to you, so saying your goodbyes is a tearful affair
sort of. you haven't cried in almost 5 months now, but you're not emotionless. you don't know the next time you'll see aether or skirk again, so its only natural you get choked up
you take albedo's hand and suddenly... you're in liyue harbor. you have no idea how he managed to get you here, but before you can thank him, he's gone.
you're on your own now, but it doesn't daunt you much. you decide to sightsee before setting off to find your brother.
ajax has become... secondary.
it ticks you off that the people of liyue hold rex lapis in such high regard. if only they knew how much blood their beloved archon had on his hands.
you're also disgusted with your former self; you can't believe you once thought the tsaritsa was worthy of respect. going home seems like a terrible idea.
keep in mind, you're still just a kid, but you've adopted the mind of a warrior -- of a soldier.
(although you will admit, it's strange having had a birthday in the abyss only to re-emerge and still technically be sixteen, but we move)
you have the marks of a soldier all over you; the faded bruises, the scars, fresh and old alike
the calloused hands, the honed senses..
you and ajax are now on the same page; you both see yourselves as weapons
but now, you are weapons pointed at each other.
what does he think when he sees you?
after being your own tour guide and familiarizing yourself with liyue harbor, you decide that it's finally time to face your brother.
you head to northland bank and walk in with your head held high. you know how the people of snezhnaya judge those who look as though they don't belong. the fatui, as snezhnayan citizens, must be even worse than the average person.
you may have been raised in a home overflowing with love, but just outside that home was a nation so unforgiving, even the weather acted as judge, jury, and executioner on behalf of the citizens.
you make your way to the receptionist and keep your expression as blank as possible. "i'm here for the eleventh." you say. it rubs you the wrong way having to address your brother in such a manner, but you brush it off. "where is he?"
the receptionist, ekaterina, glares at you suspiciously from behind her mask. she must be sizing you up. "i'm afraid i don't know who you're referring to." she answers you slowly. "did your parents ask you to say something like this?"
you actually chortle. she has a point; you may not feel like it, but you're still a child. plus, kaeya taught you that you shouldn't try to make yourself tough. doing that would make you seem like an inexperienced idiot. ekaterina asks you what's funny and you shake your head.
"it's nothing. no, my parents didn't put me up to this." you drop your shoulders and roll them back. you'd been holding them so high this whole time because you've never had to put your training into practice on actual people before. the tension seeps right out of you as you realize how easy this is. "i know what i said. should i not have called him the eleventh? should i call him by name?" you smirk when the receptionist begins to fluster. "what? did you think i didn't know who he was?"
"i... would advise against it." ekaterina says. she looks left and right before calling another employee over. they discuss something in hushed tones for a moment before you see the other person start ushering people out of the bank.
confused, you put your hands behind your back and grab your wrist. the sudden emptying of the bank puts you on edge, but you know better than to call on your weapon before your potential opponent does. "is there a reason for this?" you ask as politely as you can muster.
ekaterina gestures to the door and you turn to see two fatui agents blocking it. that was your only exit. "miss, either you explain what's going on, or i find the eleventh myself." you warn lowly. "i'd rather not do the latter."
the receptionist ignores you. "you're a dangerous person, calling on lord harbinger so freely. rather than trouble him with your presence, i believe we should handle you first."
you sigh. not even six hours on the surface and you're already being challenged. you release your wrist and shake your head. you know what you came here for; if your brother was going to be the one to handle you, then you'd prefer that.
"i'd rather not harm you and your co-workers, ma'am." you tilt your head in an attempt to come across as harmless as possible, but you feel the presence of the two fatui agents slowly approaching from behind you. did they think you wouldn't notice them because of their cloaking? "you have about five seconds before i call on him myself. i know he's here."
"your bluffing skills need work, little one." is all ekaterina says before she tilts her chin up. it must be a signal, because the two fatui agents are suddenly speeding at you from both sides.
you avoid them with ease and use all the air in your lungs to call for your brother. "ajax!"
"alright, alright."
to the surprise of the agents who have their knives pointed at your throat, ajax strides down the stairs in the back, his face dark. "is all of this really necessary?" he's speaking to the agents, who have all bowed before him. "who could possibly warrant this kind of behavior from you?"
you clear your throat, forcing your brother to look your way. you wiggle your fingers in greeting and laugh at his expression. "i think they mistook me for someone else." you chuckle.
ajax's humorous expression becomes unreadable very quickly. it's hard to pinpoint what exactly he's feeling as he looks at you. "you..." he murmurs. he steps towards you and holds your face in his hands as gently as his hands possibly can. he flicks his other hand to dismiss the remaining agents, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. "you're here..?"
your smile grows tight with confusion. "uh.. yes? are you gonna start interrogating me now?"
ajax puffs out a breath. "no, that's not..." he suddenly pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.
"a-ajax, this wasn't the reunion i had in mind," you wheeze as you struggle to hug him back. "are you happy to see me or not?"
your brother sniffs softly. "mom told me... you'd gone missing." his voice is quiet and shaky. even before his return from the abyss, he would always lower his voice when he was on the brink of tears. "you ran away from home, didn't you..?"
you're not sure what kind of sharp pain stabs your chest, but you think it might be guilt. without thinking, you did the exact same thing to your parents that your brother did, except this time, they must genuinely believe that you're dead. you tighten your hold on ajax. "i was coming to see you," you confess. "you made lumine sound really cool, so i... i left. i, uh.." you grimace slightly. "got lost."
ajax lets you go at that and goes back to staring at you so intently, you think he's looking for something. just then, you think he finds it, because he suddenly looks disturbed. "you got lost." he repeats. there's something stony and suspicious in his tone. you don't like it. "where exactly? do you know?"
he knows you're lying. or at least, it seems that way. you decide to play dumb. "i dunno," you lie, "i've never been outside snezhnaya."
that part wasn't a lie, but ajax still looks at you in disbelief. "you're not telling me everything." he's starting to glare at you now. "tell me the truth."
"i told you the truth, ajax."
"people don't just go for missing for twelve days, come back alive, and have no recollection of what happened." ajax crosses his arms over his chest. you're picking up on some growing hostility. not disappointment, not relief... hostility. "either tell me the truth, or--"
"or what?" you snap. you knew things would be different when you got back, but you didn't think it would be like this. part of you wanted to keep your relationship with ajax intact, but as the two of you go on your guard, you know that that's not going to be possible. "what will you do, ajax? fight me over a lie?"
ajax's eyebrows twitch. "why do you think i'm going to fight you? do i look like i am?"
"don't act stupid," you gesture to his posture. he's not in any fighting stance, but experience tells you that he's preparing himself for battle. you're not sure if he's going to go on offense or defense, but it doesn't matter. he's wary of you, and he's doing a terrible job of hiding it. "you're terrible at masking bloodlust, ajax."
your brother visibly tenses and takes a step back. recognition flashes in his eyes. "what did you say?"
"i said you fucking suck at hiding when you want to fight. be more subtle about it. i don't wanna fight you anyways." a part of you begins to ache at the way ajax is acting, but at his core, he's the servant of the very archons you were now trained to resist. he was your enemy now, whether you liked it or not.
the ache spreads through your whole body and your frustration fizzles out. why did it have to be this way? you started your journey just to see ajax, so why? why was he looking at you like that? you reach towards him. "i really, really don't want to fight you, ajax." you say brokenly. "please."
ajax doesn't share in your sentiments. you've never seen him in action before, but now, you think you understand what his enemies feel when he's before them. he shakes his head slightly, his expression pained. "would you stop saying my name like that?"
"what? ajax, i--"
"only my family calls me by that name," he cuts in sharply.
tears sting your eyes. "ajax..."
"you're not my little sibling." it looks like it hurts him to say it -- like he doesn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth, but he continues. "i don't know who you are, but you aren't them." he pauses to turn some words over in his mouth. "but... if you are, then... i need you to tell me the truth."
you shake your head. "of course i'm your little sibling! b-but i can't tell you everything, okay? i want to, i do, but skirk, she--" your throat closes. you've said too much.
ajax rushes forward and holds your shoulder tightly. "you met her. i fucking knew something was wrong with you -- that's where you were."
"i c-can't say anymore than that," you cry, tears falling on their own accord. you were so close to losing ajax completely just now. even if you two could never be what you once were, you didn't want to lose your brother. he was all you had now -- if you went home, they'd likely give you the same treatment they gave him. "i was there, but i can't--"
"twelve days... a fucking year?" ajax looks mortified at the thought of being in the abyss for so long. shattered sympathy fills his eyes. "what happened to you?"
you shake your head mutely. you've already said too much. if you say anymore, you might ruin the delicate balance that aether's worked so hard to maintain. so you hug your brother, finally sobbing as the horrors of the past year replay in your mind.
it was terrifying, what happened there. the things you saw and learned were enough to bring the strongest person to their knees. but you, a mere child, stuck around for an entire year, fighting a war you had no business being involved in. you were exhausted and damaged, and you nearly lost the only family you had left.
ajax presses you to his chest, shushing you quietly. "alright, alright. you're safe now." you sob again, and he sighs shakily. if you could see him, you'd see the silent tears on his face. "you're safe."
✧ it's been like. six hours. i really hope this didn't fall apart at the end... anyways, i suppose i'll announce that i'm planning an interactive story event to celebrate reaching 400! it's still in the planning stage, but i just wanted to let you guys know bc i'm really excited :D okay i hope you enjoyed it bye !
Note: i hope this is to your liking anon! <3
He honestly does not care where he is, if you ask for a kiss, you are getting one! Although, of course, there are limits. He would not engage in a full-on make out session with you outside, but he would definitely indulge you in a kiss or two. There may be times where he gives the back of your hand kisses too, and if you turn to look at him he will give you a smile and a wink.
In private though, his kisses are gentle and reassuring, you will never want to leave his arms. This man is absolutely in love with you, completely taken by you, and he makes sure you feel the full extent of his feelings. Whenever you pull away, he will nuzzle your nose and whisper a soft, "I love you so much," against your lips. He likes giving you neck kisses too, especially if you're ticklish there. If you show any kind of reaction, he will kiss you there whenever he is in the mood to be playful. He is also the kind of person to give you a kiss, just cause. You're in the way and he needs to pass through? Gives you a quick kiss in your shoulder, and an "Excuse me, treasure."
His kisses are fun and passionate, another way of expressing his love and as a way to keep him grounded. Sometimes, as he kiss a ticklish spot and you giggle, he smiles to himself and thinks that everything is going to be okay, because he has you.
He is not really into PDA, especially considering he has a public image to uphold and he thinks it will put you in harm's way if the both of you ever try to publicize your relationship. So if you ever ask him to kiss outside, he will wave you off. But if you are in a semi-private place, somewhere you can probably hide for a few minutes, then he may give you a peck on the lips. That's all you're getting though, as he tells you, "Be patient, please."
Whenever you are behind closed doors though, there's a sense of urgency and need behind his kisses. As if he is trying to confirm for himself that you are really there with him, and that it is his only lifeline. If you keep indulging him, he may or may not get addicted. He also likes giving you forehead kisses, and you may find him giving you a lot of those when he is extra affectionate. He finds your kisses as a way to 'recharge', and so in the times you are tangled up in each other's embrace, he makes the most of it. "Are you okay?" you asked one night, and Goro nods while tucking a stray hair behind your ear and a kiss on your nose, "I am now."
His kisses are a way for him to express his feelings, because gods is he terrible at it sometimes. But he is trying, and he hopes that somehow, that reaches you. There are so many things he cannot tell you yet, and when he remembers that, his kisses turn desperate and needier than usual.
Thinking about marrying Aventurine and his face when he sees you walking down the aisle.
He's always so cool and confident. Always has an answer, a plan, a way out. Nothing can crack his exterior cover. Except for you.
He's never in his life cried in front of others. But here he was, standing at the altar, tears threatening to blur his vision as he watched you walk towards him.
You looked ethereal. Your white dress trailed behind you and gently sparkled in the sunlight. Your makeup accentuated all the features he already loved about you, and your hair cascaded down your back and framed your perfect face. You looked like an angel. Like salvation.
He did his best to keep his tears from flowing, not wanting to miss a single second of your walk towards him. Towards the rest of your lives together.
As you approached, he held out his hand to help you up onto the altar.
His purple-blue eyes glistened as he gazed into your own. Into his future. A future he never expected to have, at least until you came into his life.
With you he saw a future he wanted to protect and cherish. There would be no more staking it on risky gambles. Not anymore.
Instead, as he placed your ring on your finger, he also placed his most valuable chip in your hands: his heart.
It was all or nothing. And he decided to give you it all. His future, his life, his heart, it was all yours now. You were the best gamble he ever took, he thought, as he said "I do."
hellu!! ((spoilers for the new event if you haven’t done it!)) I’ve had this idea for like an albedo x reader where it involves his impostor from the new event & i was wondering if you’d be interested in writing something that involved his impostor 👀👀? ITS SO VAGUE SORRY HAHA BUTJFJKGLG I’d love to see what you write if you’re inspired by it 😳💖
A/N: OH THIS ASK IS SO WONDERFUL I'm a little worried about the vague spoilers in the ask though so I apologize to anyone that happens upon this and doesn't know yet!! Ty for the asks anon!!!
Edit: ok I just finished writing this and it ran a little long, but it's not too lengthy. I just got a burst of inspiration.
The actual fanfic is underneath my rlly long theory ramble in case u wanna skip that part LOL i just needed to tell someone about it...Tumblr is a gr8 place for that. (Maybe I should make a separate post for it, but I'm too lazy. sorry anon.)
Pairing: Albedo x GN!reader (pre-relationship or pre-existing relationship, your choice.)
Genre: There's really no theme... mystery perhaps. Tbh its kind of wholesome. One-shot (or maybe not... will there be more? idk...)
Word Count: 1086
Warnings: MAJOR Spoilers for the recent Albedo event!!, Albedo is acting slightly possessive again (idk why i always write him that way), but tbh he just wants to protect you.
There are 3 Albedos I believe (not just in theory, I think there were actually 3.), 2 were creations of Rhinedottir and one was the creation of the imposter Albedo (But it wasn't actually an Albedo, it was simply a mutated plant that was used to mimic and distract him from something else.)
I believe that the 1st Albedo is the Albedo we know to be the "impostor" and the 2nd one is the Albedo that we know and that the first Albedo was somehow not what Rhinedottir wanted and she attempted to dispose of him. (Not very nice dude...) Anyway! Since Albedo calls the impostor "Master's failed specimen in the dragon's belly", I think he may be either referring to the impostor just being in Dragonspine OR that Durin was used to dispose of the first albedo. (Weird, I know...) That could've been how the impostor ended up in Dragonspine. No theorizing there, he also could've just walked LMAO.
Also, during Albedo's monologue during the end, I feel like it was definitely from our Albedo's point of view, at least up until the very end where he talks about being human and being brought into the world. Maybe it's to show Albedo's astounding amount of empathy despite being synthetic, or it's to show the original Albedo's true feelings? Not sure there. Either way, it is extremely sad.
Things were different now that the two of you were aware of it. The feeling of being watched couldn't simply be blamed on the wild animals and camouflaged creatures in the area anymore. You would be working quietly when suddenly you would share a look with him. Then his sword would be out.
He had made the choice to let his imposter live. But at what cost, he now wonders. The cost of his focus? Or his sense of safety in solitude?
You weren't all that bothered by it. Nothing remotely deadly had happened since what had gone down a few weeks ago.
"Albedo," You said to the blonde, who was currently staring blankly at the vial in his hand. He was shaken from his thoughts and focused back on the vial, which he now noticed was not the color it was supposed to be. He made a slightly disappointed expression before turning towards you.
"What is it, Y/N?" He asked, setting the vial back into the rack.
"We're out of mint," You say, rocking back and forth on your heels. "I'm going to go collect some."
So far, Albedo had refused to let you out of his sight. You hadn't been able to go looking for ingredients or get a moment to yourself for days.
"Ah, okay." He said, before retrieving his sword. "Let's go."
"Well, um... I was hoping I could go by myself." You said, avoiding making eye contact with him. His arm with which he brandished his sword sort of went limp and he kind of just looked at you like he was thinking about something.
"I have a sword too, you know." You laughed nervously, pulling out your own. The one he'd given you. The one he'd said only you could brandish. He was silent for a moment more.
His brows knitted together slightly before he nodded.
"Okay. Be careful. Shout if you need me." He said, looking into your eyes rather intensely from where he stood a few feet away, "I will hear you."
You nodded, before waving and turning away.
You weren't all too worried about being alone, given that nothing eventful had happened. But maybe that was because the two of you hadn't been apart since then. Then again, it didn't seem to have any trouble with causing problems for groups of people. You thought back to the avalanche.
You picked mint carefully, placing it into your bag. It was rather nice to be alone, even if it's just for a little while. You adore Albedo, but his presence can be smothering. Anyone's is when you're unseparated for that long. It was no fault of his for wanting to keep you safe.
You wandered from the path to collect some Starsilver you'd spotted growing from a rock. Leisurely, you collected the brittle material to bring back to Albedo. You heard a rustle a few feet away from you and flicked your eyes towards the sound. It was too quiet.
Just then, you heard heavy steps crunching in the snow behind you. You whipped around quickly, sword drawn in an instant.
It was Albedo. You glanced immediately at his neck. No diamond, this was not your Albedo. He simply stood there and stared at you, it was rather unusual.
You clutched the Starsilver in your hand and tried to open your bag to drop it in there so you could make your escape.
"Why do you carry those?" He asked, suddenly. His eyes glanced down to the ore in your hand. His face remained blank. No trace of curiosity. Just blank.
"The Starsilver...?" You asked, extremely confused. He closed his eyes momentarily and nodded. "It's for paint."
He shook his head. "I know, but they are the lackluster sort like you talked about."
His eyes seemed to dull. You glanced down at them, but you couldn't tell the difference, despite the advice of Albedo, Paimon, and the traveler last time you'd collected some.
"Well, it'll all be turned into silver paint, anyway. I'll use it if Albedo doesn't." You shrugged, strangely feeling like you could let your guard down. Your arm relaxed a bit.
He took that moment to lunge forward to grab you by your shirt collar.
"ALBED-!" You tried to yell, but he covered your mouth. You struggled.
"Teach me how to paint." He muttered, gripping your clothing tighter. You dropped your sword and lifted your leg to kick him away. He stumbled but regained his composure quickly.
You simply stared at each other. He grits his teeth in frustration and turned away, walking back in the direction he came from.
Teach him to paint? Does he want to create more creatures? You don't want to be responsible for something like that if that's what he is trying to do.
But maybe he wants the simpler aspect of it. Surely there's not much for him to do up here. He'd needed Albedo's notes to create the Whopperflower, so he's clearly not a genius at alchemy either. It's a good way to pass the time, the same reason that Paimon had wanted the traveler to learn.
You snapped your head towards the sound of quick footsteps coming towards you. Symbol-clad neck. Your Albedo. His sword was out.
You didn't know what to say when he stood there a few feet away, seeing that there was nothing wrong with you. He straightened up.
"What do you need?" He asked. He didn't mind that you weren't in trouble. He was relieved, actually.
"Nothing..? Ahh, well." You said, still dazed from the events that had just taken place. You quickly formulated a lie. You weren't protecting the impostor or anything like that, right? Just making sure Albedo wasn't worrying about you anymore.
"I picked some mint and a Whopperflower surprised me..." You laughed nervously. He seemed to relax. "I guess I'm still a little paranoid from last time, sorry."
"Don't apologize." He said, "It is merely human nature to become wary of things that have affected you in the past. Especially if those same events can occur again." He said, stepping closer to you. He wrapped his arm around your mid-section and looked towards the top of the mountain.
The wind blew cold.
"Let's go back now." He said after being silent for a few moments. "I'll cook dinner."
"Okay," You mumbled. You looked back over your shoulder as you walked beside him back to camp. You swear you could see a flash of blue eyes between the brush and snow.
rushipedia ☆ 2021
Genshin Impact 2.5 - Anime Version
ruikasa thing i had to get out of my brain somehow
"If you want to act like a brat then I'll treat you like one."
"Ah, ah, ah, where do you think you're going, hm? I'm not done with you yet."
"You and this fucking body of yours. Fuck... It drives me crazy."
"I won't let anyone take you from me. You're mine. Mine. Do you understand?"
"Who said you could touch? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a bad girl. Just asking me to punish her."
"Don't let me catch you so easily next time."
"Ooh, someone's a little fiesty. How exciting. You know how I enjoy getting a little rough."
"Push back, c'mon. Give it to me, pretty thing. Give me that pretty cunt."
"Fuck... Don't fucking tease me. It won't end well for you."
"You know better than to disobey, don't you? Or do you want to be a bad girl tonight?"
"Keep testing my patience and see where it gets you."
"A pretty little collar for a pretty little thing."
"Don't worry about them. Keep your eyes on me. I'm fucking you. Not them. Watch me."
"You haunt my entire being. You consume me. Now it's time for me to do the same. Let me devour you."
"You're so wet already. Don't tell me that you get worked up from being watched? What a dirty thing you truly are, hm?"
"Good girl. Just like that. Who's good girl are you?"
"C'mere, let me teach you a lesson since you want to run that fucking mouth of yours."
"Just the tip, baby. Just the tip, I swear to you. Fuck."
"You don't deserve my cock tonight. So if I were you I'd get those hips moving. Maybe if you grind hard enough against me you'll get off."
"Show me how you ride it, sweetheart."
"Don't tell me you're crying already. You wanted me to rough you up a bit, didn't you?"
"Stop your fucking whining and let me fuck you properly."
a kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader oneshot.
SUMMARY ▏he was crimson, you were ivory, and you never had looked good in red.
WARNINGS ▏angst; major character death; mentions of violence; death; blood; swords / blades.
WORD COUNT ▏1.8k words, 10.2k characters
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▏introductory oneshot to tumblr!! how r we feeling >:D also it had to be angst, sorry i think. i specialise in this shit
Kaedehara Kazuha was no stranger to the colour red.
Red surfaced in the scarlet tint of his clothing, the soft blend of sunset and evening sky, the streak that shot through his hair. It reminded him of the bright glow of pyro visions, autumn leaves flitting about the wind, the dark passion that came to life in battle. Red was love; red was hate; red was something fierce and bold.
Red was the vividness of his eyes, red was the paleness of his lips, red was the flush to his skin. In a way, he was red as well, with his hair and eyes and clothing. You glance at him and your vision would flood with red. But there was something else, too—a kind of red embodied something both beautiful and gruesome. An elixir of life.
Crimson was also the colour of blood.
Blood, the essence of the living and the liquid of the dead. It flowed through the veins of humans, monsters, gods, and nearly every living being on Teyvat was powered by red.
And as Kazuha is to red, you were to ivory.
To you, ivory was fallen snow gracing the peaks of high mountains; it was the delicate petals of cecilias, where white descended into pale green before reaching the gentle, green stem. Ivory was the seafoam that washed ashore when cerulean waves would visit land, the shine of smooth marble, the quiet wishes whispered to the wind and lost to the loud whistling in your ears. You saw ivory in the sun, the moon, the stars; the clouds that drifted lazily along the high breezes.
Ivory was something born anew, a life blooming into existence. And you, with your tendency to be much too kind for your own good and an air of purity and kindness, were ivory.
And that was the thing. That was how it had always been. You had always been ivory; he had always been crimson. That was how it was meant to be.
So why were you choking on red?
Keep reading
pairing. dan heng x gn!reader cw. hurt/no comfort, implied relationship between reader and dan heng, falling out of love (or is it), heavy angst that is carlyle's brand™ author's note. i say i love dan heng then subject him to my heaviest angst ideas. teehee, whoops. is anyone still surprised that i wrote yet another fic to a taylor swift song? listen to you're losing me for maximum enjoyment. ❤️🩹
dan heng would have to be the luckiest man alive to have known someone like you and simultaneously, the most foolish man alive to let you slip through his fingers.
dan heng did not know where to begin when it came to describing you. to merely think he was lucky enough to call someone like you his was an understatement; you were perfect for him in every way possible, that it baffles him just how he's with you.
the way your eyes sparkled at the mention of stars, your favorite subject, before dan heng listened for the millionth time to your lighthearted ramble of where the stars came from. the way your laugh echoed melodiously in his head when he made a small but harmless mistake, how he would frown a little in shame but your toothy grin would make him forget his initial embarrassment. the way your head rested on his chest, humming to a childhood lullaby that would always have the same effect on his heart — to grow bigger in affection and adoration for you.
and you made him a better person, better than he ever thought he could be. dan heng had always carried the burden of his past reincarnation's sins on his back, but your presence always made the weight seem lighter. a glimpse of you was a glimpse of a life that he could live without guilt. and he wanted to make sure that he was worthy of it. worthy of you.
in short, dan heng found the perfect lifelong partner in you, end of story.
which ... just made your words pierce deeper than a knife to his heart.
"i think we should stop."
dan heng was too deep in his thoughts that he had not realized that he crumpled the paper flower bouquet in his hand. he was supposed to hand this to you the moment he stepped inside your room; march had teased him on the amount of dedication he put in perfecting his craft — according to the archives he has read, they called it the art of origami — but dan heng found himself smiling the entire process. secretly, he thought of it like his practice of building a life with you; handling the paper with subtle gentleness and care, folding it neatly to avoid any creases, before constructing a foundation for the camellia flower, your favorite flower.
what a joke this all seems to be now.
what was going on? where did he do wrong? why were you doing this? dan heng tried to remember if he had forgotten anything important. was it the time that he brushed you aside because he was engrossed in the mission? was it because dan heng constantly locked himself in the archives all by himself, that you grew tired of that?
".... stop what?"
you looked up at him, your stormy eyes brimming with tears that you were still trying to hold back. even when you were crying and breaking his heart, dan heng could not help but think how captivating you still looked. "you know what i mean."
why? "why?"
from his perspective, he could already see how much you were struggling to say it. you were shaking your head as your body was trying to hold in the biggest sob. it took everything in dan heng not to run to you and hold you in his arms, but what are the chances that you'd end up pushing him away? your words were evidence enough that you did not need his grasp right now.
"i just... i just don't see a future with you in it."
well, that hurt. that hurt more than the days that his other self wasted away in the shackling prison, mind swimming in terror and confusion as to why he was restrained the moment he was born. that hurt more than the time he sustained his deepest injury, because you were the one who ended up patching it up for him, all the while chastising him for being too reckless again. he won't have that anymore.
"why?" it was a repeat of his former question, but dan heng could hear his voice breaking as he repeated himself. moments ago, he was just dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you. to be able to wake up with you next to him and be the first to see the satisfied smile on your face. to stay by your side until the day you inevitably passed on before him.
and now, you were asking him to let that all go?
despite his initial reflections, dan heng took a step towards you, to which he was greeted with you stepping backwards, a sight that sank his heart even deeper. "but i love you." dan heng started, his heart soaring when he saw that his words still elicited a reaction from you. at this point, he was just grasping at non-existent straws that would bring you back to your senses. back to him. "we can figure a way—"
"dan heng." he stopped at his name, before slowly looking up to meet your gaze. your eyes were clouded with pain, sorrow, but most importantly, it was devoid of the warmth that dan heng sought solace in.
"i... i don't know if i can do this anymore."
you were no longer facing him, your back shaking in muffled sobs as dan heng stood there, as he watched you push him away for the first and last time. the feeling of the crumpled paper flower on his palm left nothing but a sour taste in his mouth. to think that he was so excited to see you.
"you're giving up then? on us?"
his voice came out hollow, his once forlorn expression twisting in incredulity and subtle frustration. to think that he was so excited to make things finally official between the both of you. he was finally ready to settle down and become the better man— no, the best man for you. could you not see how hard he worked to deserve you?
how cruel were you, really?
you didn't turn around to face him, but your silence told him everything he needed to know. it took everything in him to stifle the urge to let out a bitter laugh. how could he be so foolish? who would love someone as stoic, risk-taking and tactless as him, anyways?
"i didn't take you for a quitter, y/n. but i guess we're learning something new about each other right now." he spat out, which earned a turn from you. dan heng could see the hurt in your eyes. it annoyed him that even when you're hurting him, it still pained him to see you in distress. it took everything in him to reel back and stop himself. "so this is it; this is how all... this ends." he refused to let this flurry of emotions overwhelm him, as dan heng took one step closer towards you, and to his surprise, you stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. well, what does that matter now.
he was now towering over you, his eyes never leaving your figure and now was looking down at you. a part of him begged him to not say anything else, to leave with his dignity and his head up high. even if they weren't ... partners anymore, he could still try salvaging a friendship. and yet, his emotions took full control of himself at that moment. "i can't believe i even thought you were the one for me, but i guess i would probably outlive you, anyways. "
he could have sworn he heard your breath hitch as your eyes betrayed everything you were feeling at the time. a mix of grief, sadness and surprise at his words, no doubt. however, it was a fleeting sight that only slipped into another unreadable expression. "leave. please... just leave."
typically, dan heng would be able to tolerate the silence between the both of you, but that was because he could lose himself in your gaze. not now, though. his hand crumpled the paper flower even further before he threw it at the ground. dan heng took one last look at you, a small hope resurfacing that you would take everything back, that you were simply saying it in jest — but there was nothing.
he allowed his anger to overtake him and close the door behind him with a loud slam, huffing in mixed grief and anger and leaving your room for the last time. even when you were no longer looking, dan heng still refused to let that flurry of emotions overwhelm him. he shouldn't cry over someone who gave up on him as easily as that.
if he had lingered for a moment longer, he would have probably heard you breaking down in the loudest sobs on the other side of the door.
━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━
it had been three months since you left the astral express. three months since dan heng closed the door to the possibility that he would spend the rest of his long, long life with you.
three months since he hurled all those hurtful words towards you, which he has regretted since then. but his stupid ego would not let him utter a single apology to you the following morning.
it didn't take long for you to pack your bags and leave, which dan heng actually found relieving. the more he didn't see you and mourn over what could have been, the better.
still, it had been three months. dan heng would be a liar if he said that you did not cross his mind once. well, maybe more than once. maybe a million times since you left. he hated how you still had a hold on him, hated how your voice would be the last thing he's reminded of before he drifts to sleep, but most of all, he hated how he missed you since that fateful night.
how could he have missed the signs?
the tug on his sleeve brought him back to reality, as march looked over at him with a concerned glance. dan heng just shook his head and looked down at the very thing he was holding.
a bouquet of camellias. real ones, this time.
"dan heng, if you're feeling overwhelmed, we can just—" he was already walking ahead of march without listening to what else she had to say. truthfully, nothing she would probably say would deter him. the cold weather of jarilo vi was enough to drone out his ever active mind. so this was the planet that you called home after you left the express.
it did not take long for him to reach his destination, especially with how fast he had been walking. dan heng could barely even see the identifiable pink hair belonging to march behind him anymore. he'd probably have to offer her an apology for leaving her behind later.
it was a desolate deserted place, save for the monsters that roamed nearby and the dilapidated house that dan heng could only surmise as your house. though, he knew already what he was looking for.
"hey, y/n. i know you probably don't want to see me again, but ... here are your favorite flowers, just how you liked them."
to find himself face to face to a makeshift tombstone wasn't a sight that dan heng could have ever prepared himself for, but the fact that it was your tombstone that he was leaving flowers for made his last words towards you sink a knife deeper in his heart.
how could he not have noticed your erratic heartbeat?
when you told him that you couldn’t see a future with him in it, he didn’t think that you meant you did not have a future.
all those months, dan heng refused to let the flurry of emotions overwhelm him, but maybe for this time, he could just blame the emotional downpour on the bleak cold weather.
"if you had told me you were dying, i would have stayed."
written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)
A walking joke that can't do shit but cry Names Mia, 18y/o artist , 🇲🇾🇲🇾, trying so hard atm
132 posts