My Kids Are Ready For Halloween

“People look to tall people in emergencies. We’re the lighthouses of society!”

— Teddy Altman, probably

Richie and Mike as Twins Christmas Edition

-The Wheeler boys obviously both have the best fashion sense of all time and they rock their Christmas sweaters all through out the month of December.

-Richie stopped believing in Santa when he was about 8 but Mike believed until he was almost 11 and if anyone told his “little” brother that Santa wasn’t real Richie would do things like flatten there bike tires or accidentally trip them in the hall. Since he was to little to beat them up he would have to settle for these things.

-Richie and Mike both LOVE candy canes and Richie will suck on the tip until its pointy and then he tries to fight Mike with it pretending that its a sword. “En Garde!” “Richie stop before you stab me in the stomach!” “Pick your sword up Wheeler, and fight me like a man!” and then he’ll chase Mike around the house with his “sword” until Ted yells at them and says “No running in the house!”

-The boys think they’re so slick and they dress up as each other and go to El and Eddie and try to see what they are getting them for Christmas but of course El and Eddie can always tell when Mike dresses up as Richie and when Richie dresses up as Mike because they know their boyfriends better then anyone else

-Nancy came home one day with stockings that said ‘Mistake # 1, Mistake # 2, and Favorite’ The boys were highly offended and demanded that they be taken off the fireplace. They stayed on the fireplace until February.

-Richie and Mike will go out in the snow and build snow men and make snow angles with Holly.

-The Boys watch Its a Wonderful Life with Eddie and El and Richie walks around saying “Eddie Kaspbrak I’ll love ya till the day I die” for like two weeks after, (I hope people get this one)

-Mike hates Eggnog with a passion so sometimes Richie will be ‘Nice’ and get mike some cookies and ‘Milk’ but really its a glass of eggnog and Mike will take a big drink and spit it back in the cup “Damn it Richie!” and Richie laugh like its the funniest thing in the whole world

-Richie calls Holly “his little Holly Jolly” all throughout the month of December

-When they were younger Richie would wake Mike up in the middle of the night and convince Mike to go open their presents early.

-The boys pretend that they don’t care about getting the other a present but really they both spend lots of time and money trying get the other the perfect present because they secretly really love each other.

-Mileven and Reddie under the mistletoe. That is all.

-The boys and Nancy use to sneak all around the house together trying to find the presents that there parents bought them. When Nancy got to old for this the boys started bringing Holly along.

-Richie goes to El and picks her brain about what he should get Eddie for Christmas, because they are such good friends. Not that he doesn’t pick her brain about Eddie 365 days of the year.

-The boys both go bankrupt while buying presents for all their friends and they brainstorm for hours trying to figure out what to get them “Hey Rich, do you think Eddie would want a new fanny pack?” “No he already has like five.”

-Once they get all the presents bought for their friends they will compare them and see who’s are better. “Okay first of all Ben is going to like the poetry notebook I got him way more then the stupid New Kids On the Block CD you bought” “No way! And Dustin’s gonna love the Comic book I got him, getting him a new hat was a stupid idea. He wears the same one everyday!”

-The Snowball. Like just imagine the losers and the party all at the Snowball together. Enough said.

Thank you to my best friend @are-you-reddie-for-it for helping with this and for coming up with the best ones on this list!

Honestly? 1990s high school reddie? Same

that annoying couple whose snapchat stories look like this (they made buffy take the last one)

T + C polaroid

nico makes a travel youtube vlog and his fans are like “he must prefilm a lot of these bc it seems like he’s in a different country every day which is just physically impossible!” and he just reads the comments and snickers

not-so-friendly reminder to unfollow me if:

u think autism is a disease or illness

u think autism needs to be “cured”

u support Autism Speaks or organizations like it

u “feel bad” for ppl with autism and their families

u think autistic children are a burden to their parents/guardians 

u don’t believe in getting children vaccinated because vaccines “cause autism”

You’re wrong if you think the rest of the losers don’t leak stupid videos and pictures of Richie to the media after he becomes famous. That time Richie blindfolded himself and surfed a mattress down the stairs at the Uris’s? The world has seen him faceplant halfway down. Richie running around in novelty socks and a pair of Eddie’s shorts (and nothing else) down the snow filled streets at three am? On YouTube. The picture of him sitting outside the school holding a detention slip with glittery dicks on his face? Number one image when you look up his name.