This Was Heart Wrenching But So Good, @rulerofnocountry 😍☺️

This was heart wrenching but so good, @rulerofnocountry 😍☺️

SM Summer Challenge: “I’m Not Okay”

a/n: ahahah why the FUCK did i write this. do i hate myself? maybe.  wow. some smut mention. mega angst. cussin’. the usual.

song: Lany ft Julia Michaels - Okay

The setting sun casts pretty golden shadows through the apartment as lights beginning to twinkle outside in the impending dusk. She can see out to the East River, the Bridge, into Manhattan’s sparkle. It’s a sight that she never thought she’d tire of, an illuminating promise. Filled with all the hopes and dreams and luck of every soul in the city. Magical, once upon a time. Breathtaking, romantic… 

That view was one of the reasons she’d settled on this apartment in the first place, despite the location, and everything  else about it, being way outside of her budget. It was a lavish home, much more apartment than she could ever need on her own… and far more than she’d ever hoped to have in her life. But, at the time… it hadn’t been her decision alone.

Now, she sits on her couch, doing exactly what she told herself she wouldn’t do. She’s holding her breath, staring at the clock on the side table, watching with a sick sinking in her stomach as the time clicks 7:59pm to 8:00pm.

Keep reading