Don't Have To Tell Me Twice Handsome 😈😈😈😈

Don't have to tell me twice handsome 😈😈😈😈

EVIL fanfic idea- lactose intolerant! Ted

something about us [XX] "parasite" — a preview!

summary: this snippet includes part of a scene where the reader sets up a photoshoot for a merch drop featuring the lunch club members.

warnings: slightly nsfw joke

notes: FINALLY finished this monster of a chapter! it's really long because it sets up the current "arc" ending and the next one beginning, so it's... kind of a roller coaster of emotions. below is the only part of the chapter that i felt was fluff-ish enough to include as a lighthearted preview, so make sure to buckle in when you read the actual chapter because... oh boy. it's a lot.

Something About Us [XX] "parasite" — A Preview!

Returning from the postal office (where the Lunch Club P.O. box was now up and running in hopes to receive packages from fans in the future, thanks to you, of course), you held the most important package in your arms three weeks before the start of TwitchCon. Inside this large hunk of cardboard were the finalized versions of the new merch that you had painstakingly worked on throughout the past spring and summer. It made it past weeks of reviews, tweaks, and packaging delays, and was finally in your possession, ready to be distributed to the boys so they could finally promote a project that had been on the works for months.

In the basement's common area, you spent most of the morning by yourself, working on setting up a photoshoot area for the group using a backdrop screenprinted with a repeating minimalistic pattern of the official Lunch Club logo — courtesy of a manufacturing company Ryan suggested weeks ago. By the time you finished setting up the studio lights borrowed from Ted, arranged a couple of chairs on the set, and unpacked the box of merch to take a peek inside, most of the group had finished eating brunch upstairs.

Ted was the first to come down, since he was the one with the camera you would use for the shoot, so he was the first one to be spoiled by the surprise. "Woah," he's taken aback by the set at first, bewildered by how official you made it look despite the very limited supplies you had. "This looks really professional for only costing, what, like, two hundred bucks? And my lights?"

"One hundred and eighty bucks, actually, with shipping and taxes," you snarkily reply, placing your hands on your hips with pride.

Ted lets out a halfhearted laugh, then after fiddling with his camera, hands it over to you. "Take good care of her. I've had her since the beginning of film school, she's practically my baby."

You wrap the neck strap around your head gently, and offer Ted a thumbs up while looking down at the camera screen, trying to orient yourself to its panel. "We're all good to go, I think. If you could bring all the boys down for me, please?"

"Yes, madam," Ted beams, then suddenly runs up the stairs, shouting, "Alright fellas, get all of yer asses down here right now! We're aboutta' start rootin' and shootin'!"

A distant drawn out "yeehaw" (likely from Charlie) above you makes you roll your eyes. These boys never ran out of ways to make noise echo throughout the house.

One by one, each of the Lunch Club members step down into the basement with 'oohs' and 'aahs,' until all of them convene in front of you and are now ogling the box behind you. Methodically, you explain that you would start with getting shots of each member with their respective pieces of merch, then you would get photos of each of them wearing the group merch, then a few group pictures with all of them together: one set with their group merch, and one set with them wearing whatever they chose to wear. All of these stills would be displayed on a new merch website that had already been prepared in advance by one of Schlatt's web developers he worked with, but you also intended to get some short candid video clips of them just goofing around and chatting with each other that could be used for a video promotion that could go on their channel.

If all went well, they could start promoting their merch exactly one week from now, and by the time TwitchCon rolls around, the manufacturing company should have enough pieces shipped to Ryan to be sold at the Lunch Club booth.

The shoot went as well as expected. Each member had their turns modelling their own pieces, with the remaining boys being hypemen behind the camera. As each session went by, you had a difficult time containing your excitement. Your art and your designs were on official pieces of merchandise that people all over the world had access to. You were directing a photoshoot, which granted, you had never done before nor had interest in, but for your first time trying it, each member seemed happy with the results when their mini modelling session was over.

Of course, when Schlatt's turn came around, you took the opportunity to get him in certain poses that accentuated his features. Partly for you to shamelessly stare at his good looks in your own time, but also partly because you knew a certain part of his audience would be more inclined to support the merch drop if he looked overwhelmingly handsome in his own clothes. If he could take advantage of you being a woman in his Love or Host show, you could take advantage of him being eye candy in clothes you designed. More money for the group. Everyone wins, and the score will be even between you two.

"Let's have you lean a little onto that back leg, and put your left thumb in your pocket... Then just look at Travis behind me... No, chin a little more to your right. There you go. Intense stare, and…" you directed the tall man, as you kneeled on top of a nearby stool to compensate for his height.

"Can you roll up your sleeves a little, like so the hem goes about an inch below your elbow? Then just do that exact pose again... Yep, that's it. No, stop giggling. You're serious. You're calm. You're serious."

"Sorry." You’re unsure what is so funny, but he stifles his laughter, then settles into the same pose as before.

"Okay, then can I maybe get you on the stool? Yeah, just sit like you normally would. Push your right knee outwards a little more, then let's get your elbows resting on your knees. Yep, and then clasp your hands together, and lift your head and look towards Trav, but not too much? You're trying to showcase your hat, so only let your eyes look up at him, not your entire head. Chin to the right. Perfect."

"I feel like you're shooting a fucking porno of me," he tries to contain his laughter. "It's like you're recreating that one face reveal photo of me looking up at the camera,"

"Just trust the process, J," you roll your eyes as the shutter snaps a few more times when he closes his mouth. "Here, you wanna look?"

You open the camera's preview gallery and show the rest of the boys first, who burst into a roar of overexaggerated gasps and whistles.

"Holy shit, he's hot!" Charlie moans, pretending to fan off his face.

Schlatt pulls himself off of the stool and meanders towards you, reaching a hand out to ask for the camera. Once you give it to him, and he clicks through the photos, he raises his eyebrows in approval. "Holy shit, I am hot."

"You sure are, handsome. Now get back in that damn chair, we have more porn to shoot," you tease. He shakes his head, chuckling as the boys keep cheering him on, chittering in excitement for his newfound confidence after seeing himself on camera.

read the entire chapter here, or start from the beginning here.

28 notes View Post

melrambles

1 month ago

Okay so hear me out... Threesome, maybe? 🙏🙏

And maybe... Juuuust maybe... A love triangle kinda relationship? 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

all i think of is you

contents - SMUT, reader is afab, (y/n) used like once, pet names!, reader and schlatt are exs, reader and ted fuck, penis in vagina sex, oral (f!receiving), praise, ted being a sweet lover, phone call while having sex

authors note // hi everyone! i missed writing ted so hehehe. this can be read as a stand alone fic or part two to messy! shoutout to my roommate for helping me ideate.

it wasn’t a secret that you and schlatt dated once; once it was leaked, it was all over the internet, and it put a strain on your relationship. it was tiring everytime you and schlatt went out or were seen in a video together. The comments would be filled with people talking about you two. you got sick of people coming into your stream comments and asking about schlatt and the cats, so you broke up with him. it wasn’t easy for either of you, but you still told yourself it was what needed to happen. you took a few months off streaming and only streamed with a green screen behind you so people wouldn’t ask any more questions about where or who you lived with. that who being ted. yes, you moved in with one of schlatt’s friends. was it the smartest idea? maybe not. was it the best option you had at the time? maybe not, but hey, the rent wasn’t that bad. as you’re about to begin another tuesday stream, you feel like you’re forgetting something, but you can't place your finger on it. you start the stream and check your phone for a few minutes as people file in before you switch to your face cam. “hey everyone,” you then realize you forgot to pull your green screen up, “oh goddamnit,” you lean down to pull it up. what you didn’t expect was ted’s desk set up to be in full view of your camera. “what?” he asks, turning to face you. “forgot my green screen.” you turn back around and already see the damage in your comments.

“OMG TED?!?!?!”

“hiiii tedddd!”

“Holy shit is that ted nivision?”

you take a breath and then say, “this is the only time i’m gonna say this. yes, i’m living with ted. if any of you are freaks about it, you’re gonna be banned, alright, y’all? " You ask your chat and wait a beat, looking at comments and seeing people calm down a little before continuing with the stream you had planned.

it’s a few months past; you and ted have a nighttime routine at this point. you would shower and hang out on your bed for an hour or two before turning your lights off and getting into bed. usually, in that hour or two, ted would join you on your bed and talk about your days or cuddle and watch his tiktok feed together. ted was sat cris cross on the end of the bed, and you were laying on your back tonight and talking about a video idea he had. “no but have you thought about the bubba gump idea?” you ask again with a knowing smile on your face. you knew he wasn’t going to do it; you just loved messing with the man. “no, (y/n), eddie and i are not going to every bubba gump in the country.” he replies with a hand over his face. “no replace eddie with me.” you offer. “oh, well that changes everything.” ted joked, smiles on both your faces. you feel your phone buzz next to you, and a picture of schlatt appears on your screen as he's trying to call you. you never mentioned to ted that you and him were still talking, let alone flirting.

you look down at the screen and see his face and quickly turn it over, but not fast enough for ted to not see it. “i thought you guys were zero contact.” ted commented. “um, we were, but i broke it last week so we’ve been talking again.” you lied. you and schlatt stayed in contact since you broke up, and both of you were hiding it from ted. “oh well, good for you,” ted moves to get up; there’s a noticeable shift in the mood, “i’m gonna go to bed, i’ll see you in the morning.” “wait, ted,” you sit up to grab his hand before he completely leaves your room, “listen, we’re just friends. Its all it is.” “yeah, i just think you could do better.” ted boldly notes, looking down at you from his standing position. your head cocks to the side at his comment, “and what, you think you can give me better?” ted huffs, amused; his hand holds your neck with his thumb at your jaw, “actually yeah. can i show you?” you take a beat, seeing the missed call from schlatt on your phone but feeling ted’s hand on your neck was intoxicating. your eyes met his, “ok, yeah. show me what you got.” that’s all it could for ted’s lips to crash into yours as his free hand held your waist and his other hand remained on your neck.

you hold onto his hands and move your body so you’re right against him. his head moves to the side as you moan into the kiss. “wow, already worked up?” he teases. “shut up.” you bite back as he kisses down your neck. the hand on your waist moves to the side of your boob, waiting for approval to touch it. you help and move his hand onto it. your eyes roll back at the contact as he kneds your breast and brushes your nipple. your hand moves to his neck to tilt his head back up to yours as you continue to kiss him. as you do, you reach down to your shirt and remove it, leaving you just in your underwear and sleep shorts. ted looks down at you again and feels lightheaded. “fuck, i need to be inside of you or something. please, can i fuck you.” he just about begs at this point. “get to it, teddy.” and he does, almost ripping his shirt, shorts, and underwear off and pulling your body to the edge of the bed as you lay with your back on the bed and your legs hanging over the side. you can feel how hard he is on your thigh as he leans down to kiss you again. you pull your legs up to remove your shorts and underwear, which are soaked at this point. you toss them into the pile of sleep clothes that will be sorted out in the morning.

ted’s cock grinds on your clit while he’s kissing you. you lift your hips up and feel his tip against your entrance and moan into his mouth at the contact. ted pulls away, a sly smile on his face, “yeah? you’re absolutely soaked for me baby.” “god, please, i need you, ted,” you babble with your eyes closed, head back, and hands on his chest. “yeah? what do you need from me? hmm?” he’s playing it up at this point, making you ask for everything you need. your eyes open, glassy and full, and look at him, “please i need you dick in me, i wanna feel you teddy.” you plead. “well, since you asked so nicely-” he enters you, and you can feel every vein on him. your mouth falls open, and ted kisses around your neck, keeping an eye on you to ensure it’s not too much. your hands wrap around his shoulders, and he enters more of himself into you. you relax into the bed until you take all he’s giving you. ted draws away from you, keeping hands on your hips as he thrusts so gently and lovingly into you. “fuck, oh my god, ted. feels so good,” is all you’re able to get out as your eyes roll into the back of your head from pleasure. ted grabs your hips tighters as he tries you slowly fuck you rougher, “yeah? feels good, this pussy keeps on cliching down on me so i have to be doing something right.” he thrusts sharper into you, and you see stars as your back arches. all you can hear is his gentle praises of “so good baby,” “so fucking pretty,” and “so goddamn tight on my dick honey,” the moans you’re exhaling, and the sounds of ted’s skin slapping into yours. this continues until you feel a buzz in the bed and reach for your phone. in a foolish move, you flip your phone screen up, and it’s schlatt calling you again. ted sees this happen and speaks up, “answer it.” your head snaps to ted and starts to shake. you cant muster anywords, so he takes the phone from you. a feeling of relief washes over your body as you relax again, only for ted to tell you, “don’t let him know we’re fucking.” answering the call and hands the phone to you. his rough thrusts turn into slow drags of his cock against your wall as your shaky hand takes the phone from him and puts it up to your ear. “hey schlatt.” you answer, only able to focus on ted as he watches you try and keep your composer. “hey toots, whatcha up to?” he replies. “um nothing,” you pause as you feel your core start to tighten as your legs move to rest your heels on the bed frame, “um nothing, just hanging out with ted.” your mouth opens to let out a silence moan. “cool, you guys doing anything tonight?” he asks. “nope, i was, fuck, i was about to go to bed, so you ca-called at the right time.” you tell schlatt as ted’s hands are holding your legs to your chest continuing with his deep thrusts. “i’ll letcha go then, good night, love you.” he tells you, waiting for you to parrot the statements back to him. “yeah, um good night, talk to you later.” you quickly hang up the phone then push it away from you. “fuck i need to come ted. please ted, please, please.” you beg. “so good for asking, come on baby, come for me on my cock.” you feel your pussy tighten on ted as you feel a warmth enter you. ted is still lazily thrusting into you as he leans down to whisper, “you were super tight on my cock when you came, sweetheart. Did it feel good?” god, if you could come again, you would when ted called you, sweetheart, no one had ever used that pet name before for you, and it felt like you were being warmed from the inside out when he used it.

your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by ted smiles, kisses your cheek, and draws away again. his cock leaves you, and as you’re about to whine and complain, you feel his tongue lapping at your combined cum spread through your folds. your hand finds purchase in his hair as you grip and pull him in more. ted pulls his head away as you look at him confused. “just trying to clean you up, sweetie,” he tells you with a sickly sweet smile, and he rises to get back into bed with you. you reach to pull the covers down and then over both of you, snuggling into each other. ted kisses the side of your head as he relaxes into your pillow and lets sleep take him. everything he felt for you was expressed through his moment of passion, and he would gladly expand on it in the morning. you were left with your thoughts before you nodded off, and the only thing you could think of was ted and the weight of his body next to yours.

71 notes View Post

melrambles

2 months ago

I saw it with polish dubbing and OMFG it was so shit but so good at the same time??? And also the audience clapped during those meme moments and I cried when techno showed up. Also dantdm, ldshadowlady and mumbo were mentioned ❗❗❗❗❗

Nah but istg the dubbing was so shit especially for Garrett 😭😭😭

seeing the mc movie LOL

8 notes View Post

melrambles

1 month ago

NEIL CICIERIEGA REFERENCE ❗❗❗❗❗ LEMON DEMON REFERENCE ❗❗❗❗❗