Hope You Get Better As Soon As Possible ❗❗💙💙

TESS KISS ME RN KISS ME SO FUCKING HARD ISTG 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

CW: NSFW below the cut (MDNI), ScarletSpider!Reader, afab!Reader (No pronouns), Powerless!Charlie, KindaPathetic!Charlie, SlightStalker!Reader, PowerImbalance!Dubcon, No verbal consent but no also no verbal rejection, Virgin!Charlie, College Age Characters, Mentions of Verbal Harassment/Bullying, Sub!Charlie, Dom!Reader, GoodBoy!Charlie

A/N: Holy shit wrote this in like an hour and was jerkin it the whole time!!!

Charlie Slimecicle x SpiderPerson!Reader

A Hero’s Reward

You were supposed to be a hero, a good person.

Saving people was part of your entire gig as Scarlet Spider.

And you certainly never asked for anything in return, no matter how many times people insisted.

So why now?

Why, when all you did was scare off a couple of bullies, were you finally cashing in?

Well, because it was Charlie.

He’d been cornered by some people from your college, calling him a nerd, a loser, whatever.

You both thought that name calling was only for high school bullies, but apparently you’d been wrong.

But hopefully, since the Scarlet Spider had stepped in, they wouldn’t bother him anymore.

He’d thanked you, and shyly asked if you could escort you home since it was so dark out.

You, of course, accepted.

What kind of a hero or best friend would you be if you made him walk alone.

If fact, you picked him up and swung him all the way back to his dorm, crawling in through the window and landing safely on his floor.

He seriously could not thank you enough.

He looked so cute, flustered and red from the adrenaline of being so high up.

But then he said the words.

“Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

Those words coming from his lips were what sealed his fate.

You grinned wickedly, Charlie thankfully unable to see it behind your mask. “There might be… Something you could do for me…”

He wanted to thank you, so why should you stop him?

You’d been protecting him all his life, so it was only fair that you got a little something back.

And the adorable hard-on he was sporting from being so close to you during the journey here only encouraged you.

So you unzipped your suit down the middle, all the way to between your legs, gazing at Charlie the whole time.

His face was flushed, body frozen in place as he watched you stalk toward him like a predator.

And when you slowly pushed him down onto his desk chair, he didn’t object.

He did exactly as you asked, so obedient for you.

His eyes were glossy, lids heavy as he watched you tug at his jeans, a tiny wet spot leaking through his boxers.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been doing this, considering the power balance of you being a hero and everything.

And also that you knew who he was, but to him you were someone in a mask.

But the whimpering sound he let out when you sank down on his cock made every worry vanish.

“Oh~ Fuck!” Charlie whined as you bounced on him.

You knew he was a virgin, but you didn’t think he’d be so responsive, so cute.

His head was thrown back, his hands gripped your waist in an attempt to ground himself.

You couldn’t help but moan, feeling him hitting so deep inside you.

He was much bigger than you thought he’d be, not that his size could turn you away from him, but fuck it felt so good.

You needed this, you needed this so bad.

Being a hero was stressful, on top of keeping up with school, family, friends, especially your nosy little Charlie who was constantly asking you to hang out.

You sometimes watched him a little more than the average citizen.

How could you not?

He was your friend after all.

That’s just what friends did for each other.

And maybe you had passed by his window to check on him and once or twice accidentally caught him touching himself to photos of the two of you.

And maybe you had laid back against the wall outside his window, putting your hands between your thighs and listening to him moan for you.

“Fuck, Char~” You mumbled absentmindedly at the memories, your hands slipping up his neck to tangle in his hair.

But he tensed at the nickname, your nickname, and you slowed your movements to a halt.

Shit.

“How do you…” Charlie murmured, his babbling ceasing from your slowed pace.

“God… Fuck it…” You cursed, before peeling off your mask and tossing it on the floor.

Cute and small bruises littered your flushed face, your hair messy and your eyes wild from the rush of everything.

But he could recognize you anywhere.

Charlie’s eyes went huge, taking in the sight of you, his best friend, being Scarlet Spider.

“You… You’re- Mmph~” His words were cut off by your lips, his eyes going wide again before closing and leaning into the kiss.

“I don’t… Wanna talk about it now…” You mumbled into his mouth between the clashing of teeth and tongues.

His head spun, knowing you’d basically manipulated him.

But maybe he wanted you to…

Maybe he’d wanted you to take advantage of him the whole time.

He’d liked you for so long, at this point, he didn’t even care how it happened.

He was simply thanking whatever god may of may not have been out there that you’d wanted to fuck him at all.

So when you began bouncing on him again, he moaned into your mouth, bringing a hand up to your back to help you move up and down his shaft.

You were so warm, so tight, probably flexible too…

His head ran wild with fantasies of you webbing his hands up, holding him down with your inhuman strength, helpless as you used him for your pleasure.

And in a way, that’s exactly what you were doing now.

You panted as you pulled away from Charlie’s lips, grinning at his foggy glasses that now sat slightly crooked on his face.

But he didn’t seem to notice, eyes rolled back and mouth hanging open as he seemed lost in his own realm of pleasure.

You bounced faster, holding his shoulders and trying your absolute best not to hurt the frail boy in front of you.

But he just felt so good, so so good.

So good, that you felt your legs start to shake, you thought for a moment that it was exhaustion from patrol, but the way your core tightened around him told you that you were going to cum.

You needed it so bad, you needed to cum on him and use him and make him feel good all at the same time.

And you knew Charlie would sit there and take it like a good boy.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, causing him to whimper at the slight pain.

But the way he subtly began to thrust into you, hitting just the right spot to make you cry out, was what made you see stars.

You felt your hips stutter on top of him, slamming down once more before pulling off of him and squirting on him.

The sight and sounds alone made Charlie’s cock twitch, before a strangled moan fell from his lips followed by ropes of cum spurting from his tip.

You let out a moan of exhaustion, before taking a seat again in his lap, now drenched with your mutual fluids.

Charlie’s tight grip on your hip and back didn’t release, in fact, he fell forward into the crook of your neck.

You threaded your hands in his hair, silently promising him that you were here, you weren’t going anywhere.

“Do you wanna… Shower or something?” He mumbled softly into your sweat-drenched suit.

You snickered, before pressing a kiss to his head and nodding.

Yeah, that was exactly what you needed…

CUTE PEOPLE LOVE LOGGING ONTO THIS SITE. cute people love reading this post. cute people love drinking water

FOR REAL LOLA PLEASE COME BACK 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

why idea why shhhh-secrets deactivated???

WHAT ARE YOU BEING FR I CANT FIND THEM

did they get banned or sum

Anyone got contact with them outside of tumblr

THANK YOU OMG THIS MEANS SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️

Do I Wanna Know?

HIIIII MY FIRST FANFIC THAT I'M POSTING HERE AHHHH SO NERVOUS MDNI!!!!

Full disclosure it's just angst, hurt/comfort, LOTS OF JELOUSY AND INTERNALISED HOMOPhoBIA, ftm british reader living in america, Schlatt x Reader (kinda obv) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OR I'LL EAT YOU >:)

(fic under the cut)

Word count: 2865

It was a casual Friday evening. You helped with filming the Chuckle Week final episode, mainly helping with costumes and decorations for the set. You, Charlie, Tucker, Ted and Schlatt were at some common LA bar, celebrating the end of the amazing podcast. You were close mates with the four men, meeting all of them years ago through Schlatt, your closest friend and your crush of many years. He was there for you even before you transitioned, being your pillar of support in the darkest times. 

You all crowded around the bar counter, chatting, drinking and just having fun. The bar wasn’t that full, a few groups littering the space along with some lone patrons. You had already been a few drinks in, definitely the most inebriated from the five. You were giggling, swaying from side to side, your vision blurred. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome Schlatt looked in the dim lights of the bar, his features soft and light, he absolutely looked at ease. 

So, when a gorgeous girl approached him, started openly flirting with him and he didn’t seem to mind it, your blood boiled. You always had the fear of Schlatt being actually straight, just figuring things out. He was always ambiguous with his sexuality, even with the closest of friends, even with you. 

He was flirting back with the girl, now completely detached from the group conversation. The three other guys noticed how quiet you’d gotten, their expressions somewhat worried, but they chucked it up to the alcohol in your system. Abruptly, you stood up from your seat. Your gaze was set on the karaoke machine tucked away in the back corner of the bar stage, empty and unoccupied. You decided that it was the best way to get your anger out of your system, scream out all the lyrics and just forget, forget, forget.

“Hey, you alright?” Tucker spoke up, his face confused and cautious, anxiously watching your moves. 

“Yeah, yeah. I saw a karaoke machine when we walked in and just wanted to give the old junk a try” You faked a smile, trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. The guys knew you long enough to realise that your slurred words weren’t at all nonchalant, they noticed the hint of anger and jealousy in your speech. 

“Just don’t embarrass us, m’kay?” Ted spoke up, trying to cast some humour into the steadily growing tension around all of you. You nodded in return, casting another glance at Schlatt and the girl before swiftly moving to the stage.

As you approached the machine, you noticed that it was already on, covered in a thin layer of dust. You sweeped your hand over the screen, trying to dust off the device to the best of your ability with limited resources. Wiping off your now dirty hand on your sweatshirt your eyes raked over the collection of songs to choose from. You kept scrolling the list, not in the mood to sing Barbie Girl by Aqua. Your eyes caught a very familiar song, one that held a lot of significance in your current predicament. You briefly glanced at Schlatt again, the girl now had her hand on his bicep, charming him into oblivion as he swirled his whiskey with intent. Your thoughts burned with venom and you decided that this song would be the one to sing. 

You grabbed the microphone attached to the machine, clicking the song and closing your eyes as the intro began to play. All the patrons now turned towards you, even Schlatt and that fucking girl. Ted and Tucker gave you encouraging thumbs up, Charlie smirked knowingly and nodded in approval. Schlatt looked utterly confused and leaned in to the guys, trying to ask them what was that about. 

The alcohol in your body locked out any embarrassment or stage fright, the only emotion in your whole system being jealousy. You hadn’t started taking testosterone yet, so your voice was quite high still, but with years of voice training you got it to sound just the way you wanted even without the hormone replacement therapy. 

Have you got colour in your cheeks?

D’you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type

That sticks around like summat in your teeth?

Are there some aces in your sleeve?

Your eyes burned with fire as you began singing, your accent accentuated by the song and the anger seeping through your words. You kept looking at Schlatt, your gaze unwavering even for a moment as you knew the lyrics like the back of your hand. Even the girl, who was now full on pressing her tits into his arm, was mesmerized by your performance, her chin prepped up on Schlatt’s shoulder, as if challenging you, taunting you with her looks.

Have you no idea that you’re in deep?

I’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week

You kept your voice steady, pouring all the unresolved and bottled up feelings into this performance. Those three lines were filled with the most venom out of all of them, yet there was a strange fondness intertwined with them. Your gaze wavered for a moment, you blinked away the tears that had started bubbling up in your eyes. 

How many secrets can you keep?

’Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow

Spilling drinks on my settee

And I play it on repeat, until I fall asleep

Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways

Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you’d stay.

Baby we both know, that the nights were mainly made

For saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day.

You took a quick breath before singing the chorus, knowing that all of your emotion would be poured into it. You squeezed the microphone in your hands in a futile attempt of grounding yourself. 

Crawlin’ back to you

Ever thought of calling when

You’ve had a few?

‘Cause I always do

Maybe I’m too

Busy being yours to fall for

Somebody new

Now I’ve thought it through

Crawlin’ back to you

You quickly exhaled the rest of the air filling your lungs before taking a subtle breath, a scoff playing on your features as you kept staring daggers at the object of your affections. 

So have you got the guts?

You rolled your eyes with an exaggerated frown, although it wasn’t that far from how you were actually feeling inside. Regardless, you continued with the song, unaware that Charlie was recording your performance, definitely to taunt you with it in the morning. 

Been wondering if your heart’s still open

And if so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I’m sorry to interrupt

Followed by another roll of your eyes and a scoff, your eyes instantly softening with the next lines.

It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp

Of trying to kiss you

I dunno if you

Feel the same as I do

We could be together

If you wanted to…

You could see the girl whispering something to Schlatt, his eyes widening and his grip on his whiskey glass tightening, almost smashing it in his hands. She chuckled slyly and kissed his cheek, returning to her friends in the far corner of the bar. Schlatt has now fully turned towards the stage, a dark, red lipstick mark adorning his face. 

You finished your performance and were lulled back into reality with an uproar of applause. Seemingly, all the patrons were now aware of the machine and rushed to form a line in front of the stage, all of them wanting to give a performance like yours. 

You squeezed through the growing crowds, very glad that you were after your top surgery and didn't have to push your tits against every single person. You went back to your seat, the three men applauding you loudly, gushing over your voice and the performance itself. Schlatt stayed quiet, his eyes confused, but the rest of his expression was unreadable. You left some cash on the counter and the bartender quickly snatched it up, closing your tab. 

“I’ll be leaving now, I’m gonna take an uber back to my hotel, so you don’t have to worry ‘bout me” You said your goodbyes, the guys confused at the sudden exit, but understanding that you’ve had a lot more drinks than any of them. They bid you a goodbye as well, your eyes briefly tracing over Schlatt and leaving him without saying a word. 

As you stood outside the bar, leaned against a wall, smoke from your cigarette floating into the air, the smoke from your mouth flowing from your bottom lip and vanishing into the night. You heard the bar doors open as you waited for your uber, your cig almost burning out.

“Had I known you had vocals like that I would’ve asked you to be on my christmas album” Schlatt spoke, your head immediately whipping towards him with furious disbelief etched onto your face.

“Is that all you have to say? Really? Your fucking christmas album?” You spat out, your cigarette now thrown on the pavement and stomped, now not even resembling a cigarette.

Schlatt’s face contorted in confusion, his head leaning to the side, as if trying to discern what you were talking about. 

“Do you want me to say something else?” He asked cautiously, the looks you’ve given him while singing still etched in his brain, almost burning with how vivid they still were.

“Yeah, I dunno, maybe anything other than your fucking christmas album after I’ve poured out all my feelings for you mere minutes ago in the bar?” You raised your voice, tears burning at your eyes again. Schlatt winced at your harsh words, finally understanding why you were looking at him the whole time. 

“Is… Is that what it is?” He asked shyly, remembering that you both were drunk, you much more than him, not believing what he was hearing was true.

“Are you fucking deaf? Or maybe it was that fucking bitch just flirting your ear off? Oh I saw, I saw the whole fucking thing and it made me so fucking furious, because for years, years I’ve dreamt of being to one holding you like this, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, just being yours. I’ve waited, patiently waited for any fucking sign before I transitioned and then when I did I buried all those feelings because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. Tonight, though, I’ve had enough. You literally started flirting with some random broad when I’ve been here, the whole fucking time. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to see that? Do you have any fucking clue how long I’ve been head over heels for you?!” You spat, words effortlessly spilling from your mouth. When you stopped, even you were in shock, immediately sobering up. Your eyes were wide, chest heaving, face, ears and neck red.

Schlatt stood there completely dumbfounded, unsure of what would be the right response to your drunken confession. The man just took in your venomous sentences, his mind running a thousand thoughts per second. In a flash, he remembered how you met in uni, how you immediately clicked as friends and how much he wanted to be with you pre-transition. When you did, in fact, start looking more masculine, he felt those feelings burying themself, his internalised homophobia taking over and making him see you just as a friend.

You meant so much to him, you’ve always been there for him when he needed it the most and in turn he was there for you. You both supported each other when no one else did, it was you two against the world. How could’ve he been so goddamn blind? How didn’t he reach for you when he had the chance right in front of him. You were the one who knew him the most, you were the one who’s seen his best and his worst and stayed, even when his countless girlfriends didn’t. His thoughts were broken by you checking your phone, clicking away at the bright screen.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice quiet, vulnerable.

“Cancelling my uber, I think we have to talk” You replied, seeing how his eyes moved from side to side, the cogs in his head turning. 

“Yeah, yeah, we uh… we should, yeah” He replied, his shoulders lunking in an attempt to make himself as small as possible, despite him towering over you by almost a whole foot. You would’ve found the action endearing if it wasn’t for the unresolved tension between you two.

You wordlessly grabbed his hand, the touch burning both of you, as you started walking, sending Ted a quick text that you and Schlatt went for a walk and would meet the rest of the group in the morning. You shoved your phone back in the pocket of your trousers and focused on finding a place to sit and comfortably talk. 

After about 15 minutes of walking in silence you saw the beach in the distance, hearing the calming crashing of the ocean against the sand. You followed the sound and approached a beautiful clearing, the moonlight hitting the water in such a breathtaking way. You glanced at Schlatt who was now staring at the view as well, your hands still intertwined together. He looked so ethereal with the moon shining on his face, the light breeze messing up the loose strands of hair that peaked from under his cap. 

You tugged on his hand and walked further into the beach, finding a nice rock to sit on without sitting on the sand. You pulled your hand away from his as he sat down and you had the impression that he chased it, but ultimately decided against grabbing it again. 

“Listen I… uhm. I’m sorry, I really am, for everything” He began, his eyes looking ahead at the horizon, trying to sort out his thoughts into cohesive sentences. Your head turned towards him, already prepared for the awkwardness that would follow his rejection.

“I’ve also liked you for years, toots, it’s just…” He broke his sentence, your eyes widening with confusion as what he said wasn’t what you expected at all. You turned your whole body to face him, now. You sat criss crossed on the rock, your elbows digging into your thighs.

“I’ve liked you since we met, before you started transitioning. I was too scared to make a move, because you were so beautiful, you still are! I’ve had this feeling that you were out of my league and… fuck” He groaned in frustration, throwing his yankees cap to the sand and running his hand through his hair in a calming motion. You sat there quietly, listening to everything he had to say with patience, giving him all the space he needed.

Schlatt reached for your hand, squeezing it with reassurance, both for him and for you. When you squeezed him back he felt a small grin breaking onto his face, knowing that it was time to let everything out.

“When you transitioned, my feelings changed. I still loved you, fuck I still do, more than a friend, but there was this thought in the back of my head that it was wrong, that no one would accept it, especially my parents. I always had this thought that everyone would disapprove and that we couldn’t be together because we’re both guys”

You scoffed quietly, your eyes briefly looking up at the moon, saying a silent prayer of gratitude towards it, feeling it smile back at you.

“I know that it’s dumb, my whole persona is a right wing conservatist who jerks off to gay porn and kisses guys, I get it. But, I can’t help but feel happy with you, feel like we belong together, even if some part of me thinks it’s wrong” He finished his confession, an understanding smile painted on your face as he turned to finally face you, lone tears staining his cheeks.

You pulled your hand away from his grasp and moved it to wipe away the tears from his face, letting your touch linger there for a few moments longer. Before you could pull it away, Schlatt’s hand was on your wrist, desperately holding it close, drinking in your warmth.

“I think you’d like Car Lights, by my good friend James” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood, now that both of you have calmed down and sobered up. 

He scoffed playfully, his eyes still locked onto yours, admiring how handsome you looked in the unfiltered moonlight. His eyes dropped from your eyes to your lips briefly, but not fast enough to escape your attention. You smiled and moved your other hand to his other cheek, both of you now softly leaning in. 

“Can I…?” His voice trailed off, the question obvious and loud in between you, despite the whisper of his words. 

“Yeah, I’d like you to” You replied, even quieter than he had as he closed the gap between you, your lips finally meeting in between after years of patience and frustration. 

Tagging those who MIGHT be interested :) @teslasucks37 @quesabo-corner @opalcicle @obsessivestar @shhhhh-secrets @lapse0freason @laambfuzz @p3achslimes @bio-hazard @hufflepuffsthunderdome @jellybell92 also I love all of you guys hoenstly just seeing how amazingly y'all write has given me the boost to come back to it (i wrote this in 3 hours whaaaa)

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NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

Red, I'm so sorry, that bitch absolutely didn't deserve you at all. I just want you to know that you're strong and loved and cared about. My brother's a barely functioning alcoholic and I know how much that affects a person, don't let that fuck's words get into your head. Also, about that Charlie post, I saw it and I just scrolled lmao, doesn't mean I don't want follow you no more. And it's like that just with all the incest shit, I'm not shaming any of y'all, I'm just not looking at it, because it isn't something I like. So him saying that anyone that has siblings and supporting you is wrong? Tell that to my brothers because they were the ones acting incest upon me without my consent. ANYWAYYYYYYYYYY I hope with my whole heart that you'll get over that bitch, addiction isn't anything easy and I know how hard it gets and if he has any issues he should've talked to you about them if he's so mature.

Take care, Red ❤️❤️

hey, so. semi-serious post.

talking about Jeremy/Kasey, otherwise known as Blve/Blvccl, in this post. just explaining what happened and whats going on.

cw for drama and such, if you want no part in it scroll along

uuhm hai !! so as you may know me and Jeremy were together for a bit. when he broke up with me, he deleted his acc, and i got a few asks and dms asking about what happened. i didnt respond because i didnt wanna throw him under the bus for being a jerk, just wanted to move on. which was a mistake, and his behaviour deserves to be outed.

recently, there was a bit of a stir, where a few anonymous asks were sent to his inbox on a new account. obviously i wont be giving his user because i dont want him being further harassed. heres what it started out as,

id like to bolden the fact that i am being shamed for addiction, something i literally cannot help, as well as (less importantly) that he is already with someone new after it being barely a month and a half of us splitting. also, if he had such a problem with the age gap, why would he even dedicate himself to the relationship in the first place. you are arguing with ‘pedophillia’ but we got together months after you became a legal adult.

the following was then sent in,

this was not me. nor do i know who it was, or if they even had anything to do with the occurring situation.

gets a little explicit here, some information which i never intended to be public up until now because it was something that happened between us two and typically you dont give out that info unless you have permission from both parties, but here it is.

starting off, he was the one whom brought up wanting to send me the audio in the first place,

covering some pin points;

- i used ai bots before i was aware that they were harmful.

- “he couldve done something better like going to therapy” therapy doesnt help everyone. neither does shaming and shunning them over their trauma.

- Jeremy did not out right break up with me himself. he deactivated his tumblr account and then blocked me without an explanation. his friend sent me this, and both her and his little brother sent me messages mocking my ignorance to what was going on. these were the few things his friend sent me before blocking me.

- “the kink thing is just sad. youre getting off to your partner acting like a child?” age play can be just ‘acting younger’ it doesnt always have to be ‘acting like a child.’ im not getting off to the stereotypical grown adults in diapers. if you look at it a certain way, its the same as being attracted to the innocence and submissive behaviour of a person. you can disagree with what im into, i dont care, but it really isnt that big of a deal and it has nothing to do with any of this in the first place.

this was sent next,

a drinking addiction isnt just “picking up the bottle and deciding you wanna keep drinking.” nor is it easy to get rid of. not every addiction is the same, or handled the same. you are someone who has never dealt with an alcohol addiction specifically, so you dont know how it is.

“ive drank before and its really easy to just not do it” we spoke many many times about you having never had alcohol. as well as that would be underage drinking.

this was then posted by him,

everything on my page is public. if any of my moots, or anyone in general, sees it and doesnt like it, they can 1) scroll, 2) block the tag, or 3) block me. i am not stopping anyone from unfollowing or not associating with me. do as you please.

he then blocked me.

i was trying to take the mature approach to this and just leave him be, not trying to start shit with him at all, but he just kept bashing me and throwing me under the bus and handing things out that shouldve stayed between us. so here i am.

i truly liked Jeremy a lot, and i am forever grateful of the relationship we had and all the joy he brought me. i never intended for things to end the way they so abruptly did, and i am sorry that my ounce of venting because i was comfortable enough with him put such a dent in his mental health as well, genuinely wasnt what i was trying to do.

but since you decided it was necessary to say such shit about me, AND my friends, fuck you. i hope you have a great few months with your loving boyfriend who youll tell “i love you so much youre amazing ill love you forever” just to break up with him over something he cant help swiftly after !!

youre a selfish piece of shit who cant handle someone being their self and every ounce of slander you ever spoke about anyone made me severely uncomfortable. youre pathetically ignorant and you need to grow up. youre an adult, buddy! start acting like it!

and yeah !!!! you never made me cum !!!! ^^

I was called??? 😨😨

whore

reblog to remind prev they're not a bother and their presence is wanted <3

Bo I love you *says with a suspiciously "heaven knows I'm miserable now" by quesabo-corner shaped item in mouth*

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

TedSchlatt (Murder Duo) Platonic or romantic depends on how you want to see it <3 (I wanted to try something clean for once). Inspired by the Smiths ^^ I can't format things sorry >-<

It had been hours of just him. Staring. Staring at the blue light tinted screen. He hadn’t even taken a shower. When he woke up, the clock read 2PM. Now it was 5. So, 3 hours. 3 hours of staring at unrealistic bodies and situations acted out through taboo media. Just him, the screen, and his air pods. Connor hadn’t come in to check on him, he was probably streaming. Not Schlatt. He didn’t have the energy to stream. All his energy was wasted in tissues littered around his bed and his sore right arm. All he did was scroll and click at whatever seemed interesting. It was a virtuous cycle. One started during lockdown. What happened to him? He used to be 150, fit, clean shaven, actually happy with himself. Now he was pushing 200, stretch marks tapered across his thighs and hips, oily hair down to his neck, and the worst he’s ever felt in his life. His spiral, however, was interrupted by an incoming call. Ted. Dang it. What would he even think of him? In bed for three hours just wasting away? Might as well answer. He knew Ted would just ring again and again till someone picked up the phone. “Hey! Schlatt! Are you up?” His voice was cheery. So far from Schlatt’s demeanor. He groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Yeah, yeah I’m up…” “You don’t sound good. You sick or something?” Good, now he was pressing. The last thing he needed was for Ted to figure out he hadn’t left his room. “I’m good. Just… Tired,” he paused, taking in a deep breath, though, the air was stale, no crisp or cool to be found. Just old Texas air. “Well, me and Eddy are heading through Texas today, and I was wondering if you wanted to eat something, join us for a meal. You haven’t been out much, right? Connor said you’ve been kinda down lately.” Fresh… Well, not fresh, but a hot meal that to his knowledge wasn’t from a Marie Calendar’s box made his jaw twinge with hunger. The idea alone was seductive to his sun-deprived body. “Don’t tell me its at Rainforest Café,” he let out a somewhat forced laugh, but it was low enough for the strain to be unnoticed. “Well…” Ted chuckled. He could just hear the smile. “What time?” “In an hour or so. I know its last minute, sorry, but it just hit me that you were in the area.” He sounded almost ashamed, but he wasn’t one to take anything personally, not with Ted, at least. Dang. As much as Schlatt wanted to continue melding into his mattress, to sink farther into the pit he had dug for himself, he couldn’t. For once, he’d be able to see his friend, and go out and get… Well, it was 5, so moonlight. Fresh air to suffice. Something to bring his decaying body back to life. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” his voice was raspy, dehydrated. He realized he hadn’t had anything to drink except a day old cup of red which had been emptied out hours ago. “Sweet. You think Connor can come?”

“I’ll ask…” Schlatt was hesitant to leave the room, especially if Connor happened to be streaming. He and Connor shared an audience, that he knew, so for the viewers to see him, or the husk of himself, was not the most appealing. “Let me get ready, though.” “It’s 5:23, you aren’t up?” Ted laughed, but it hid true concern. “Can’t a guy sleep in?” He rebutted. “Schlatt, be honest. When did you get up?” “2… Ish… I don’t remember.” “What the hell have you been doing for the past 3 hours?” “You don’t wanna know.” That wasn’t a lie. Not for the bit, or the comedic effect. He was too tired to do any of those. That was a true statement. He’d rather put a bullet through his skull than admit to Ted what he had been doing in his cave of a room for an extended period. It was silent on the other end of the line, just for a moment. “If you need to talk, I’m here, man. Just don’t let… Whatever your dealing with mess you up.” It was short, to the point. The metaphorical door of talking was not opened but cracked. Enough to allow a glimpse of himself to be shown but conceded if need be. “Yeah, thanks, man. Let me get in the shower, and I’ll ask, okay? It’ll be quick.” “Yeah, talk to you in a minute.” Ted was the one to hang up. Schlatt sat up with a whine. His back ached from lying in the same position for too long. His head spun with the sudden blood rush. “God…” He groaned. His attempt to stand up was unsteady, his knees buckling backwards, causing him to cuss out of sheer surprise. He got his balance and slid on some boxers, that way if Connor wasn’t streaming, he wasn’t privy to his bare body. He grabbed a tee and some jeans. No way in hell was Ted or Eddy going to see what his body had shaped into. He made his was to his bathroom. Luckily, their house was so big that you could go days without seeing anyone. Sometimes, it led to that mental decline, sometimes, it meant he could get inebriated with no consequences. The shower was inviting to his weary frame. The hot water drenched his hair as soon as he stepped in. “I really needed this…” He muttered to himself. After his shower and getting himself ready, which took 10 minutes tops, he made his way to Connor’s office. He heard some talking, so he just entered. Most likely, he would have his headphones on, so knocking would be futile. Connor swiveled around in his chair, seeing Schlatt in his stream. “Hey, what’s up?” He clicked the mute button, slipping off his headset. “Ted is heading through here later… Well, in an hour, and wanted to know if you wanted to join for dinner.” “Man… I would, but I’m in an event, sorry dude. Tell him I say hi, though.” Real blunt, huh. Schlatt nodded, leaving Connor to finish up whatever he was doing in the first place. He went back to his room. It was an absolute dumpster fire of a living space. Before he got to cleaning, he whipped out his phone.

Schlatt: Connor can’t make it. Sorry. I’ll be going tho. What time? Ted: :( Man. Alright. Around 40 mins. Schlatt: Sounds good. See u then

Luckily he was already dressed and clean, but it was the state that he was living in that now bothered him. His first action was opening the windows. Instead of warm sunshine greeting the walls of the room, it was a soft sunset. He took a moment to just… Look. It was gorgeous, the way it dipped beneath the houses that lined the street. The Texas sun coated the sky in a hazy pink and orange, the clouds similar to cotton candy at the state fair. It was one of the few things he enjoyed about this state, besides the open carry, guns, and video opportunities. Sure, Texas couldn’t hold a candle to the nature of his home state, but it had its silver linings, the sunsets and sunrises being one of them. I got to get cleaning; he thought to himself.

His cleaning spree, rapid and much needed, was cut short by a vibrating in his back pocket.

Ted: Hey we’re here figured you wanted to ride with us Schlatt: Be out in a few

He dropped the vacuum he had dragged out and slipped on some tennis shoes. Just something to walk in, since he was going to a boardwalk. He walked outside, greeted by the honking of Ted’s rather dingy truck. His window was rolled down. “Get in the back, we’re going to eat!” Ted laughed. Schlatt obeyed, having to run to Eddy’s side as luggage was piled up behind Ted. “Hey Ted, Eddy.” Schlatt gave a curt nod to the other man sitting in front of him. He returned the gesture with a smile, albeit rather hidden from his mustache. “Buckle up, Schlatt,” Ted reminded. “Oh, yeah.” He did as he was told, making small talk the whole time. ‘How was the ride?’ ‘Liking Texas so far?’ It was all very meaningless. Just to keep the action moving. It was around a 20-25 minute ride until they got there. All three men hopped out of the car, which groaned at the loss of weight. “Dude, you gotta get your suspension checked.” “She don’t need a thing,” Ted smirked, patting the car before leading them to the entrance. Eddy opened the first set of doors, and Schlatt opened the second. ‘Why have two doors’ was something Schlatt always asked himself when going to chain restaurants like this. Immediately, he felt out of place. It was three 20 something white men in a Rainforest Café. They weren’t the usual target audience. Except Ted. This was Ted’s ballpark, his magnum opus. He mused the decorations, ones he had seen before, but the magic still lingered for him. Eddy was impartial to the 30 minute intervals of thunderstorms, to which they walked in on one pretty much on que. “Jesus, could it be literally any louder?” Schlatt grumbled. “It was blaring in our ears once. We got sat next to the elephant animatronics one time. Now we request to be seated away,” Eddy playfully rolled his eyes with a shrug. Clearly, the experience wasn’t foreign. To Schlatt, despite the rather loud atmosphere and bright colors, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the birthday parties, not even exclusively at a Rainforest Café. Like, the ones from 2nd grade where he’d go to Chuck-e-Cheese or Dave and Busters where he’d just eat chicken tenders and run around with his friends. Just for a moment, his mind wasn’t running through video ideas, porn clips, or general anxiety. For just a split second, he was 9 again running around space, pointing at the massive animatronics with his friends while his mother yelled at him to get back by her side and to not embarrass her in front of the other parents. For a moment, he was chewing misshapen pizza with animatronic creatures singing in the background, truly content with his life, even at the time it was just mediocre pizza on a Saturday. He felt his eyes sting, just for a second. Normally, he wasn’t emotional, but for some reason, his apathy was softened by the rather simple scene. It was just a restaurant, a family entertainment center. He couldn’t truly place why he was getting misty-eyed at massive animal animatronics and slightly better-than-average food, but he was. Maybe it was pureness of it all, maybe the fact his friends cared enough to drag him out here. It wasn’t truly clear. “Dude, you alright?” Ted’s voice cut through his nostalgia trip. He blinked a bit. “Yeah, just takes me back.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Me too,” Ted smiled before having a server lead them to a table. Schlatt glanced over the menu that he was handed. “They have alcohol here?” He was a bit surprised, but there needed to be something for fathers in their 40’s with a failing marriage to order at a ‘family outing.’ That’s at least the reason Schlatt put behind the rather out of place menu section. “Yeah, its okay. I recommend this one,” Eddy pointed at a rather toxically blue drink. It probably had fifty different sweeteners in it, all synthetic, but Schlatt shrugged. Might as well.

“Alright, thanks.”

Food came, and it was better than expected. The safari fries had a creole seasoning to them, the flavors mellow and savory. His burger wasn’t half bad either. The cheese melted across the patty and the lettuce was fresh. The drink wasn’t awful as he thought it’d be. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it was strong. He could handle it though; he had drunk his way through 2020, so a tolerance for the drinks had been built up. “This is actually really good,” Schlatt noted. “Did you think we were gonna take you somewhere with crap food?” Ted joked. “Well, you’ve said how it can be bad!” Schlatt raised his hands in mock surrender. “Now, c’mon, you know us better then that.” Ted grinned. “Yeah, yeah…” Schlatt shook his head with a smile, slipping out his wallet. “No, you aren’t paying for jack-” Ted began, but it was too late. The server had approached their table, receipt in hand. Ted tried to yank his arm down, but Schlatt reached out his hand, craning the card towards the waiter, who took it, impartial to the internal conflicts the table were undergoing. Eddy just laughed and filmed, shaking his head. “You… You…” Ted seethed, glaring at the other man. “I have too much money, I don’t even know what to do with it.” “We have a sponsor! They literally offered to pay for the meals… Oh my god…” Ted groaned, head in hands. “Well, keep the sponsor money, I don’t care,” Schlatt shot him a satisfied smirk. Eddy blinked. “So…” “Yeah…”

“We owe you, Schlatt, like… I dunno, a cameo or something.” Eddy glanced over to Ted, who nodded in agreement. “You owe me nothing, just taking me out was enough.” “It was on your dime!” Ted exclaimed. “You drove me, though.” “It was a 20 minute drive!” Eddy butted in, fake aggravated as well. “Well, sucks to suck,” Schlatt leaned into the back of his chair, hands behind his head, stretching his upper back. The waiter approached once more. “Your card, sir.” They smiled. Schlatt took the card, careful not to seem hasty. “Thank you,” he responded. “Wanna go to the pier?” Ted suggested. The boardwalk was right outside, so no driving was necessary. It wasn’t particularly hot outside either.

“Sure,” Schlatt shrugged.

The moon swayed in the reflection of the water. It was larger than he remembered it being, but then again, he hadn’t stepped outside in a couple days. The windchill was low, so no jacket needed. They just walked and talked, catching up on their lives. It was few and far between when they had time to just chat about things other than YouTube and videos. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’ll be back,” Eddy didn’t interrupt, but he did warn, waving as he jogged to off to the public restrooms. It was just Ted and Schlatt, the latter running his fingers across the wooden barrier. He was careful not to get a splinter, but reckless enough to do it in the first place. Ted slowed his walk, Schlatt mirroring the action. They turned to the water. Ted leaned on the barrier, turning to his friend. “You okay, man?” Schlatt was slightly taken aback. “Uh, yeah, why?” “You just haven’t seemed okay lately. I wasn’t gonna bring it up in front of Eddy, but I just wanted to know.” Ted’s hand seemed like it moved towards his own, but it stopped. “I…” Schlatt couldn’t really explain what he was going through. Not just because he was in public. No, he’s talked about more obscene things with friends in bar more times than he could count. But this was different. “You don’t have to share; I just want to know if you’re okay.” Ted’s voice was soft and low. Soothing to him. “I’ve just been really struggling with some stuff.” He kept it vague. Not like he needed to know what he was doing under the sheets. “Well, if you ever just need to take your mind off whatever’s up in your head, just give me a call. I’m up to talk anytime, okay?” His smile was sweet, genuine. “Thanks, man.” Schlatt felt a tear run down his cheek. Ted chose not to point it out but instead open his arms. Schlatt accepted, giving his friend a squeeze. He tucked his head into his friend’s shoulder. Ted rubbed circles into his back. It was soothing. Calming. The people around them seemed to just melt away. Just the two of them by the moonlit water. It lasted only a few moments, a little under a minute, but it was well needed. “Of course,” Ted murmured before Schlatt broke the hug, wiping his damp eyes. They stared at each other, just for a second, before they heard approaching footsteps. Eddy. “Hey, sorry, there was a bit of a line,” he explained. “You’re good.” Schlatt tried to hide the wavering in his voice. “So, I heard there’s an ice cream joint down on the end of the pier if you guys want to go get some,” Eddy suggested. “Sure. If you want to, Schlatt,” as if a second thought, Ted turned to Schlatt.

Schlatt hummed with a nod, gaze softening at the sight of his friend.

By the time they got to the ice cream place, the lines that would have normally been there on a Saturday night had dissipated. “Crap, they’re only open for like 10 more minutes,” Eddy bolted towards the door, Schlatt and Ted in tow. Once in line, it didn’t take long for everyone to order. “One chocolate in a bowl,” Schlatt said. “Strawberry in a waffle cone for me,” Ted added. “Just a vanilla in a sugar cone,” Eddy finished. Ted and Schlatt turned to the other. “Sugar cone?” They said in almost unison.

“Oh, f off.” Eddy rolled his eyes.

They all sat on the wooden pier, leaning against the rails. Schlatt was savoring his, Ted was just a slow eater, but Eddy had pretty much finished his aside from a few remaining bites of the sugar cone. “What the hell do you guys have against the sugar cone?” Eddy frowned at the two, using a napkin they were handed to clean off his mustache. “It’s in the name, Ed. Sugar. It’s sweets on top of sweets. Just enjoy the ice cream with a crunchy superior cone. Sugar cones have the consistency of Styrofoam,” Ted explained, taking a bite of his waffle cone for demonstration. “Well, hold on Ted, sugar on sugar is the point of ice cream!” Schlatt interjected. “What is the point of ice cream without a good cone?” “You have a cup!” Ted jabbed his finger to point at the truth, that yes, his ice cream was in a cup. “It was the cheapest option!” Schlatt defended himself. “You are a millionaire and you cheap out on a CONE?” Eddy burst out laughing. “Wha- hey! Nonono, it was on your card, I don’t go ordering just anything!” Schlatt’s face was red, maybe from mock anger or just plain embarrassment. “We have a sponsor! We told you this! It’s fine!” Ted was getting riled up at the sheer absurdity of Schlatt’s rather backwards logic. “Oh my god…” Schlatt groaned, stuffing his mouth with more ice cream to avoid the conversation. “Jesus,” Eddy breathed. “Waffle cones are best,” Ted finished off his ice cream. “Agreed,” Schlatt nodded.

“Well wait-”

After ice cream, dinner, and some more walking, Ted and Eddy drove Schlatt home. His home loomed in front of them, Schlatt still in the car which was parked in his driveway. Schlatt stepped out and began his walk up to the door but paused when he heard another door shut. “Schlatt.” He turned around, Ted jogging up the path. “What’s up?” His hands were deep in his pockets. “I just wanted to give you a good hug. I won’t see you for a while, so,” Ted’s face was a bit red, but Schlatt disregarded it. “Yeah, of course,” Schlatt opened his arms, Ted accepting the silent invitation. Ted wrapped him in a hug, not loose or weak, but firm. “Know that I care about you, dude. A lot,” Ted murmured. It was quiet, even if no one else was around. Meant for Schlatt and Schlatt alone. “I love you too, man,” Schlatt reciprocated. He couldn’t remember the last time he said “I love you” to another person. But he meant it. Ted broke the hug, rather reluctantly. As much as he wanted to stay there with his friend, he knew that he needed to get back on the road. Eddy was still waiting in the car, probably confused.

“I’ll be seeing you around. Podcast filming tomorrow, right?” Ted asked. “Yeah.” “Try and get out of bed early, okay?” He teased. “Screw you, man.” “Love you too,” Ted responded, giving him a smile before turning to his car. The words lingered for a moment in Schlatt’s mind as he waved goodbye. He didn’t enter his house till the truck was out of sight. But when he did return to his room, now clean, he felt calm for once. He opened his phone.

Schlatt: Thanks for a great night. Good luck on the road, get some rest He got a response immediately. Ted: Thanks! You too :)

He stared at the text for a bit longer than one should, but when he put down the phone, the lights shut off, he acknowledged that he felt better stepping outside. Hanging out with friends. Not holed up. He grabbed his phone again. He set an alarm for 10AM. Earliest he’s probably gotten up in a while. He placed the phone back down. Good. He smiled to himself before settling in and eventually falling asleep, feeling better than he had in months.

CARGO SHORTS MENTIONED CARGO TROUSERS MENTIONED OMFG I POVE CARGO TROUSERS I HAVE CARGO TROUSERS AND THEHRE THE ONLY TROUSERS I WEAR BUT ITS GETTING HOTTER SO ON TUESDAY IM GOING TO THE THRIFT STORE TO SEE IF THEY HAVE ANY CARGO SHORTS GODS I LOVE POCKETS NEVER GAKE PICKETS AWAY FROM ME OR I WILL KMS I LOVE POCKETS OMGOMGOMG

sorry got carried away 😔🥲😓🥵

where the hell is a tboy supposed to get his cargo shorts in these trying times