nightcord at 25:00 idol!au | a mizuki akiyama x fem!reader.
synopsis :: up with the ranks and down with the sand, the amazing ace, [y/n] tries to hold back from a crush! when all fails to do so, how does the so called "crush" reacts?? spoiler alert: it's one of her idol bandmates, mizuki! now what does mizuki have to say to this?
genre :: fluff, angst, social media alternate universe!
status :: ongoing <3
warnings :: toxic idol industry, homophobia and transphobia, mental breakdowns, lots of kpop idols usage đđ etc/more to come!
sideships :: akitoya, anhane, kanamafu (?)
taglist: @starry-sky-melody // ask in the comments!
extras: saving grace , the playlist! | fanmade tracklist!
emoified babygirls đ | more units and more idiots!! đ«¶
ACT ONE - OUR FIRST WIN!
001 - new album is needed | 002 - recognition tastes sweet
003 - hangout event | 004 - apartment talks
005 - secret side (so mysterious!) | 006 - unforgiven girls
007 - smile for the camera! | 008 - tba
009 - tba | 010 - tba
011 - tba | 012 - tba
013 - tba | 014 - tba
ACT TWO - THE MOST ULTIMATE IDOL!
015 - tba | 016 - tba
© cwritis 2023 , do not copy or translate any of my works.
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (BAU!reader)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WC: 3.7k
Summary: You tended to be very expressive with your friends when showing your affection. Whether it showed in pet names or physical touch. Only thing is, Spencer thinks heâs falling in love with you, and all of your sweet affectionate actions are starting to take a toll on his unrequited heart. At least, he thinks itâs unrequited.Â
Tags: thereâs a tiny bit of miscommunication but not too much that it will make your head explode like it does mine. Make out but nothing grown/spicy. Friends to lovers. A bit of hurt/comfort
A/N: Not beta read donât kill me! yoooo spence is so in denial about her feelings in this but lol so real king. This is mostly from his POV but I had to cheat a few times. Hope i can live up to the hype that complimentary colors was. I low key don't like this one as much but had to execute it cause the idea was cute.
You were starting to drive him insane. Criminally insane. You could invade his thoughts at any waking moment of his day and take over his mind. Every affectionate pet name, every soft fleeting touch, hell every time you look at him, he would replay the moment in his mind like a broken record. If he was in a crowded room, his eyes would always fall on you.Â
After being with the BAU for a while you became good friends with your coworkers. And with that, came your habit of calling your friends sweet nicknames. Anything from sweetie, to honey, to babes, and the one that broke his heart the most, my love.Â
At first he didnât understand why you were using terms of endearment that were typically used in a romantic relationship, but in a platonic way. At some point he caught on that you were similar to Garcia when it came to expressing your love for friends. Similar to her and the way she has her own sweet silly way of expressing how she cares.
Nevertheless, some small part of his heart still broke when you called him those names. He adored your sweet caring nature and the fact that you cared enough about him to call him terms of endearment. But every time a nickname fell from your lips, he was reminded you only meant it platonically.Â
It was his own personal torture to constantly be reminded he would never be your sweetie, your honey ⊠your love. But the nicknames werenât enough to drive him insane. While it drove him to the brink of insanity, he was able to keep his head somewhat still on his shoulders.Â
Not long after the heart warming but crushing nicknames, you showed your true love language. Physical touch. It showed in many forms. It could show when poking JJ in the shoulder and giving Emily a high five. Or nudging Morgan in his side with your elbow. You even managed to get a fist pump from Hotch and Rossi. And of course the welcome and goodbye hugs from Penelope.Â
You were a bit hesitant at first to express this love language of yours with Spencer due to his aversion to touch and germs. However, you observed that he would gratefully receive occasional touches. Whether it be a hug, high-five, or even the rare ruffle of his hair -which of course would be from Morgan. So you approached him and asked if he was comfortable with physical contact.Â
When it came to you, he was more than comfortable. You could take him in your arms and he would simply melt into a puddle on the floor. Except he didnât say that and his reply was closer to a mix of stuttering and rambling about how you could never make him uncomfortable and how he just doesnât like germs.Â
Now heâs not saying he regrets his choices. He wouldnât ever take it back. He enjoys every single lingering touch between the two of you. Actually âenjoysâ would be a severe understatement. Every single time you ruffle his hair, lean your head on his shoulder, or even just carefully touch his arm, it was as if a thousand volts of electricity were flowing through him. Like he could light up the city even. You were the best part of his days and the reason breath filled his lungs. You brought a light into his life that made him feel safe and warm.Â
He desperately wanted your affection, your attention, your touch, to mean something more than he knew it to be. But sooner or later, touch after touch, he started to go insane. Somewhere along the way he had daydreamed so deep he had lost his mind.Â
You had officially driven Spencer Reid insane.Â
He was promptly whisked away from his thoughts when he felt the tap of a folder on his shoulder and a light thump on his desk.Â
âHotch wants to know your thoughts on the consultation from Colorado,â you started.Â
He blinked back into focus glancing at the papers on his desk.Â
âHey, you alright?â You asked with concern. âYou look like your head is in the clouds.â
âIâm fine, just lost in thought,â he answered with a small smile reassuring you.
âDonât get too lost. Canât have your genius brain short circuiting on us.â You chuckled as you took a small step closer to him and playfully ruffled his hair.Â
âIâll try not to,â he grinned and pushed his hair back after you messed with it.Â
âWell Iâll be back soon, my love. Gotta go bother Penelope,â you joked before making your way out of the bullpen.Â
His gaze was lingering on you as you left. His thoughts started to drift to you again as his cheeks turned pink.
âIâll be back soon, my love,â Morgan mimicked in a higher pitched voice with a grin as he approached Spencer's desk. In response Spencer turned his chair away from Morgan to hide his now red face.Â
âWhen are you two going to start dating? You guys already act like a couple.âÂ
âWe do not act like a couple,â Spencer argued. âShe just sometimes calls me pet names, that's normal for her.âÂ
âYou donât see it do you?â Morgan furrowed his eyebrows and was seconds away from chuckling. âSheâs been giving you quite a bit of attention lately. Practically clinging onto you.âÂ
âI mean I- I donât think so. She does that with everyone, it's not just me. She just happens to be very affectionate with friends.â He answers as his voice almost cracked.Â
Morgan shook his head, âOh no itâs more than that. Have you ever noticed that she calls you âmy loveâ but she calls us âloveâ? Or when weâre on a long flight back home and you two are all cuddly on the jet. How she always seeks out your company and finds an excuse to talk to you or about you.âÂ
Spencer couldnât speak. He had so many words on the tip of his tongue but his voice wouldnât make a sound. He sat frozen and mouth slightly agape as his brain started to go into overdrive.Â
Morgan's face softened at Spencer's reaction. âItâs different with you kid. Friends donât act like that.âÂ
âYou and Garcia do.â Spencer countered, this time definitely with a voice crack. Morgan lightly chucked. He was well aware that his and Penelopeâs friendship was a bit different than other male/female friendships.Â
âOkay you got me there, but you and Y/N arenât me and Garcia. We may flirt with each other a lot but thatâs our thing. You two have this care for each other like nothing I've ever seen.âÂ
Spencer was left stunned once again and Morgan could practically see the gears in his head turning.
âYou may not notice it now, or hell you may not let yourself notice it now, but itâs true.âÂ
Those words rang in the back of Spencer's mind for days. Of course on a regular basis you would occupy his mind at any given moment. But now it wasnât just thoughts about you. His mind was over analyzing almost every interaction between you and him, trying to find what Morgan had talked about. Some form of evidence that proved what you felt for him was beyond what he had initially thought.Â
He was recounting all the recent times you had approached him out of the members of your team. He recalled all the times you were either hanging out or on the jet and you found yourself tracing patterns on his arm. He was rethinking when you started to use nicknames around him and how it could be different with him than with others. It turned out Morgan might be right, as Spencer realized the numerous times you referred to Garcia or Emily as âloveâ, but in the rare instance you said âmy loveâ it was only ever directed to him.Â
The idea of you liking him back had become an all consuming thought, but he was too terrified to ask you. What if Morgan was wrong? Profilers have been wrong before. He became petrified by the idea of asking you about it and possibly finding out his feelings were unrequited. But most of all, he was scared of losing you. Scared that if he brought it up he would make things awkward and ruin your friendship. He couldnât lose you, not over something as trivial as his feelings.Â
Unfortunately the mental toll this was taking on his mind started to show. Not so obvious that the everyday person would notice, but you werenât an everyday person. You grew to know him like the back of your hand. So of course you started to notice the little changes in his behavior. His ever so slight flinch when you would initially touch him. His eyes which used to linger on you and catch your eyes from across the room, now focused almost anywhere you werenât. The way his body froze when you placed a hand on his shoulder. The way his eyes partially widened when you called him anything other than his name.Â
He tried to hide his worries from you, but you could tell something was bothering him.Â
Something about you.
His overall behavior didnât reflect that he was avoiding you or distancing himself from you. He still talked to you and acted around you like normal. Instead it felt like he was holding himself back from receiving or truly appreciating your affection the way he used to.Â
~
Days had passed and the team was sent on a case. While this case was an emotional rollercoaster for everyone, it had affected you the most. The victims had reminded you of yourself and the unsub and all of his delusional reasoning for his actions had hit very close to home.Â
The team caught the unsub and closed the case quite late in the evening. Everyone was exhausted after the grueling past few days and decided to spend the night at the hotel to rest and leave in the morning. You however, still felt an ache in your stomach from all the anxiety felt throughout the day. You couldnât seem to relax and let that weight off your shoulders. So you went to the one person who could help. Â
Spencer was getting ready to go to sleep, peacefully reading a book in bed when he got a knock on his door. He placed his book down and when he opened the door he was greeted by you in pajama pants and a zip up hoodie, clearly also winding down for the night.Â
âHey,â you greeted.Â
âHi, whatâs up? Is everything okay?â he asked, a bit concerned as to why you showed up at his hotel so late at night. He opened the door wider signaling you were welcome inside. You entered the room and stuffed your hands in your pockets as he closed the door.Â
âIâm okay I just âŠâ you cleared your throat. âI know this case has been a tough one but todayâs been really hard for me. Iâm still wired and awake, I canât seem to relax enough to go to sleep,â You abruptly stopped your rambling to catch your breath.Â
âThis might sound dumb but, Iâm in desperate need of a hug right now,â you finally admitted quietly.
He hated seeing you so timid and closed off. How you made yourself smaller than you were, all because you were asking for your basic needs to be met.Â
âYou donât have to explain yourself.âÂ
âHuh?âÂ
âYou donât have to explain why you need a hug. You can just ask,â he said reassuringly.Â
âOh.âÂ
âPhysical contact has been shown to increase levels of dopamine, serotonin, and even oxytocin; therefore, decreasing levels of stress and anxiety. Some people might even argue that physical touch is a fundamental element of being human and experiencing life.â His other way of trying to validate your feelings was of course rambling a string of facts and information from his fingertips.Â
You couldnât help but smile. God he loved it when you smiled.Â
âSo is that a yes?â you asked since you never exactly got an answer from your question in the first place. Even though you knew what his answer was.Â
The corners of his lips turned into a grin. âCome here,â he says with outstretched arms.Â
You practically ran into him at his offer. He wrapped his arms around you as you placed yours around his neck. He wished this moment could last forever. All while at the same time Morgan's previous statements were circling around in his head.Â
He tried his best to push them away. He tried to tell himself this was not you acting on any potential feelings for him. This was simply you reaching out to a friend in need.Â
He took note of the way you held onto him so tightly, almost as if he could leave at any second. It made his heart ache.Â
âYou feel tired,â he almost whispered.Â
âI am,â you mumbled back, face buried in his neck.Â
âDo you wanna lie down?âÂ
You lightly patted him on the back, âDonât worry Iâll leave you be and go to sleep soon. I just need a minuteÂ
âI meant ⊠I meant do you want to lie down here?â He stammered. âSo youâre not alone. You seem like you need a friend right now.âÂ
His own heart almost cracks when he says friend. But thatâs what you need right now, a friend.Â
âIâd like that,â you said with a small smile.Â
You separate from him and he leads you to the bed holding your hand. He sits down against the headboard and waits for you to join him.Â
You awkwardly sit down on the bed, eyes darting in all directions of where heâs sitting. âI- what should I âŠâÂ
âYou could sit down the way you do on the jet,â he kindly offers.Â
You relax at his words and move to sit at his side. He wraps his arm around you as you rest your head against his shoulder. You both sat there in a moment of silence, enjoying eachothers company. He was getting lost in the sweet smell of your perfume; the small bit of it that still lingers from the long day youâve had.Â
He started to recall all the times you two would be close like this. It didnât happen very often. Sometimes on a long jet ride home from a long or stressful case. Or sometimes when the team went out for drinks and you would be tired from dancing. In the rare occasions you two were like this, you would tend to draw patterns on his arm or leg.Â
So he decided to finally return the favor. With the arm he had wrapped around you, he started to dance his fingertips over your upper arm.Â
He felt you practically melt into him at the action. If you could get any closer to him, you did.Â
He continued tracing your arm with an overwhelming amount of care. It made you consider his previous actions compared to how welcome you were now in his arms.Â
âSpencer, Iâm gonna ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me,â you spoke with a hidden hesitation in your voice.Â
âOf course Iâll be honest to you. I always will be,â he furrowed his brows at the thought of you being scared of him lying to you.Â
You let out a small, almost shaky breath. âAm I clingy?â you murmured.Â
This made his hand on your arm stop. He shifted his sitting position so he could face you better but also didnât want to let you out of his hold.Â
âNo, never,â he told you with assurance. âWhy would you think youâre clingy?âÂ
He saw you hesitate once more before you gave him your reply. âI was just overthinking things. Worried I was taking the physical contact thing too far or that Iâm a bit too affectionate at times.â
âWhy would you be worried? Youâd never take things too far. Youâve always been respectful of other peopleâs boundaries.âÂ
You sighed with a shaky breath. He could practically see through you and see you considering your response.Â
âBecause I thought I was making you uncomfortable.â you looked down to avoid his gaze.Â
He was quiet for a second, absolutely baffled as to how you would think you could ever make him uncomfortable. âWhy?â His question was a barely audible whisper. Â
âYou seemed different. All of a sudden you would freeze when I touched you. You became jumpy and skittish when I talked to you. I thought I was too much for you but you didnât want to tell me about it.âÂ
You shifted away to face him and his hand fell from your arm. You fidgeted with the sleeves of your hoodie as your face went blank.Â
âYou could never be too much for me,â he spoke with a soft voice. He tried to reach his hand out to hold yours but your hand disappeared in your sleeve at his touch.Â
âThen why were you different all of a sudden?â You narrowed your eyes at him.Â
His cheeks started to turn pink, âI- I wasnât.âÂ
âYes you were.âÂ
âY/N please,â he begged.Â
âSpencer,â you whispered as your eyes bore into his. âYou said youâd be honest with me.âÂ
He licked his lips and his face turned red. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He couldnât find an escape route. He had no choice but to tell you. And once the flood gate opened, he would never be able to close it.Â
âI was freaking out,â he blurted.Â
âI was freaking out because Morgan implanted this idea in my head that you might possibly have feelings for me based on the way you act around me. Iâve been obsessed with that thought since he mentioned it. So I freaked out almost every time you touched me, talked to me, even looked at me,â he rambled on anxiously as he tried to explain himself. No holding back now.Â
âI tried not to let it change my behavior but I guess it did and I am so sorry for that. I never wanted to give you the impression that I was uncomfortable. To be honest I donât think you could ever make me uncomfortableâÂ
You were silent for a moment. He couldnât read your reaction. Your eyebrows slightly raised with your lips parted. He could only see surprise, which was typical, he just didnât know if this kind of surprise was good.Â
âWhy were you so obsessed with the idea of me having feelings for you?âÂ
He couldâve sworn his heart was going to beat out of his chest at any moment.Â
âBecause I think Iâm falling in love with you.â
 Here we go. Flood gates.Â
âThe idea you might like me back became an all consuming thought because I never before thought it was possible and I never wanted to get my hopes up. Actually, I pretty much think about you all the time so it wasnât that far from normal. âÂ
âYouâre falling in love with me?â you asked barely above a whisper.Â
âYes,â he spoke softly with full confidence.Â
The only change to your appearance was your eyes widened a bit more. It made Spencer's heart sink to his stomach.Â
âListen, I understand if this makes things weird between us and I am so sorry. I just couldnât ..â
He couldn't finish his thought, you were too busy locking your lips with his. It was a sweet but cautious kiss, almost as if you were testing the waters in uncharted territory. You felt him freeze against you so you leaned away, breaking from the kiss.Â
Not even seconds later Spencer placed a hand on your face and was diving back into the kiss with fervor. You instantly reacted as your arms found their way around his neck and your hand was digging in his hair. The kiss was intoxicating. Both of you trying to get a taste of the other after what felt like eons of pinning.Â
He wrapped his arms around your waist while his one hand snuck up to the small of your back where your hoodie had exposed your skin. It sent a shiver up your spine while you let out a shaky breath against his lips. You tried shifting in your seat to somehow get closer to him. With his hands against your waist he helped guide you to sit in his lap straddling him.Â
When you finally break from the kiss your faces are red and Spencer rests his forehead against yours. You focus on the sound of his breath and the feeling of your heart practically beating in your ears.Â
Your hand moves to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. âI guess I didnât do a very good job at showing I had feelings for you.âÂ
The corners of his mouth lift up into a giddy smile. âNo, you did. Iâm just oblivious.â
âSounded like you were in denial,â you lightly teased.Â
âThat too,â he chuckles.Â
After a moment of enjoying each other's presence, you pull away from him just far enough to look him in the eyes.Â
âI know I call everyone pet names, but every time I used them with you, I wanted it to mean something more. Part of me would always hope you would one day call me those names back,âÂ
Spencer swore his heart could give out at any second. He never expected to hear this from you and it made him lightheaded.
âThis may sound childish but.. I never craved attention so badly, until you gave me yours,â you added.Â
He licked his lips and smiled. With his hands still on your waist he traced mindless patterns at your sides. âYou have my complete and undivided attention, my love.â
His words made you giddy. You bit your lip to keep yourself from giggling. Although, he would never be opposed to hearing your beautiful laugh.Â
There were no words to describe the way that you felt. So without thinking, you leaned forward once more to capture his lips with yours.Â
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Tag Requests: @nomajdetective
He did not learn a single thing...
contains: imposter au, cult behavior, kind of crack? SPOILERS for character backstories
about: in a last desperate act to save yourself, you reveal their secrets (note: venti and zhongli did not reveal their identities as archons)
àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș
You've finally been cornered by your beloved characters after weeks of running from the angry crowds. They immediately bring you to the middle of the town square, the archons present and deciding on the verdict.
Not that there's any other punishment but death.
"For your grave offense against the divine creator, you are hereby sentenced to a public execution," It was Ei who announces this and your stomach drops.
"On what grounds! I didn't- I don't even know this divine creator! How could I have insulted them-"
"Blasphemy! You claim not to know of the divine creator yet you dare to impersonate them!" Venti accuses, stepping forward to face your kneeling form. You were growing desperate and frustrated at their stubbornness. As a lover of the genshin lore, you couldn't help but spout the next words from your mouth.
"Pretty bold coming from a wind spirit! That isn't even your face!"
The winds of Teyvat freeze. You freeze too. Oh god oh god is he angry? Are they going to torture you now too? You take this pause as a chance to ramble â your last resort in worming your way out of execution â your entire being high on adrenaline and fear. "I mean, as the anemo archon of the land of freedom, doesn't this seem too oppressive? Appearances, really?"
"And- and what's this talk about an imposter? If anything, are we really going to ignore Albedo's double in Dragonspine?" Much of the crowd is confused, but you visibly see Amber, Eula, and Albedo stare at you in mixed shock.
"The raiden shogun is practically an imitation of the real god as well! Aren't our situations kind of the same? Archons, Inazuma had twin rulers yet no one seemed to realize that!" Ei grips onto her sword, taking a step back in quiet horror, "If anything, my case sounds a little unfair!"
"What about Kaeya! He's not even from Mondstadt! He's from- actually let's not get into that." The cavalry captain flinches. Jean, who opted to watch quietly, steps forward to narrow her eyes at you.
"What in archons name are you saying? This does not plead your case of impersonating-"
"I'm trying to convince you that I'm not even from here! I've never heard of a divine creator and all that matters to me in this world is the lore and the characters! Archons, all the months I've spent studying the lore just to get killed by something I missed-"
At this point, you don't really know what you're saying. It was beginning to be a ramble about your lore knowledge and the people around you stared in mixed confusion and shock.
"All of your archons are broke. Xiao eating snow and Ganyu eating glaze lilies are really concerning. Diluc's the darknight hero and he still keeps Kaeya's ugly vase in his manor! And um- Ningguang tried to sell her vision once and Keqing has Rex Lapis plushies in her bedroom! And erm Shenhe is Chongyun's auntie? Guoba was the stove god and Xiangling found him! And there's also- I- and- ah-"
"You," Zhongli points his spear at you, a vortex vanquisher which you've grinded all your primogems for. His voice is calm and cautious, almost hesitant. "Spouting such obscure information-"
"That.. vortex vanquisher," You start, "It took me months of saving to earn it. I finally equipped you with it last month. I thought it would suit your aesthetic as Zhongli."
Last month. You had finally earned Zhongli's weapon, quickly equipping him and falling asleep only to wake up in the world of genshin.
Last month. The day their divine god disappeared, leaving the vessels to feel empty. When talks of an imposter surfaced, they were quick to assume that perhaps your existence had angered their god. If they deal with you swiftly, the creator would grace them with their presence once again, right?
Could you really blame them for their desperation? The thought of being abandoned by their god is an inborn fear for the people of Teyvat. So many imposters were given unquestionable worship in the past, only for them to misuse it.
Zhongli remembers the day an imposter made him slaughter his fellow gods in the archon war. Ei was pitted against her friends for an imposter. And Mondstadt was ruled under the tyranny of one during Decarabian's era. The ley lines of Teyvat consumed sin and it manifests itself through imposters.
Now, Zhongli's grip on his polearm weakens as he stares at you. His hands tremble and jaw relaxes. Suddenly making eye contact, the geo archon notices the faint glimmer of stars in your eyes.
The stars of Teyvat will always have a place for you.
"Y-your grace?"
â
Kaeya: So... You really kept that ugly vase in the manor?
Diluc: Hmp
â đ€ â
Zhongli: Xiao, how many times did I tell you to stop your habit of eating snow?
Xiao: ...
â đ€ â
*Venti having an existential crisis because of his appearance*
You: I'm uh, sorry, didn't really mean that. Kind of.
â đ€ â
Ningguang: So... Rex Lapiz plushies huh...
Keqing: It's not what you think!!
â đ€ â
*cue people worshipping Guoba*
All hail the stove god
àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș àŒ»âŠàŒș àŒ»â§àŒș
a quick random drabble bc in reality, we really do know a lot of secrets if ever we find ourselves in sagau
note: im always grateful for comments and (kind) criticism of my work, just hmu! this was a sleep deprived drabble but i hope you like it anyway
The Hot One
You're that one hunk that EVERYONE has a crush on. Your wit and charm is known to make fangirls faint, and half of the entire fandom's thirst posts are about you. You could eat a cookie and everyone would lose their shit. Congrats, dude.
1. FIRST, create a picrew using this maker, and then 2. SECOND take this quiz on how fandom would see you if you were a fictional character. 3 (THIRD) POST YOUR PIC AND YOUR DESCRIPTION IN THE REBLOG!
Youâre a bastard. A wet cat, if you will. And we love you for it. Youâre a little shit, but in the good way. You are the baddest babygirl. You killed a man, but you looked good doing it. You flirted with the hero and the enemy. All of Tumblr is madly in love with you. Congrats, I guess?
Tagging EVERYONE but especially @magicaltear, @the-beeses-kneeses, @wafflesrisa, @mykingdomforapen, @marbat, @scientistsinistral, @halberdierministerâ!
Description: Sunshine rookie gets a boyfriend, and Spencer canât help but think he would be so much better for her. But that definitely isnât the jealousy talking, right?
Length: 8k
Warnings: nothing really, jealousy? talks of sex? embarrassment? Mention briefly of vomit because of allergic reaction.
main masterlist.
authorâs note: I want to write for these two until my fingers are two little stubs and even then Iâll learn with my toes. Can be read as a stand alone!
He thought he was going to be sick when he saw her that random Thursday, leaning against her desk, a sweet, bashful smile on her face. Or, more specifically, Spencer thought he was going to need to at least sit down when he saw the man standing next to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, the little daisy earrings Penelope bought her for her birthday almost laughing at his gobsmacked expression.Â
He liked Agent Taylor Bingley. He respected the fresh faced desk jockey from the third floor that swanned around their bullpen, usually discussing warm up routines with Luke. He was quick on his feet, a pretty decent shot. Never missed a report, never tardy, even offered his parking spot up to Spencer on more than one occasion because he didnât mind the long walk from the other lot. He flew under the radar, and when he was noticed, it was because he was a particularly kind soul.Â
Spencer didnât think heâd ever seen him without those rosy cheeks that made him look almost always sunburnt, or that trademark boyish grin a handsome guy like him had down to a tea. So it really shouldnât have been such a surprise to see him lingering around his sunshine girl.Â
Except she wasnât his, not by a mile. They just spent almost every second of the work day together.
âCheck it out, rookie has an admirer,â Tara said, the heels clicking against the floor as she passed the door, where Spencer seemed to have stopped, his eyes narrowing at the happy couple, âCanât say I blame him. Sheâs a pretty girl, donât you think, Spence?â
She didnât realise she was rubbing salt in a superficial wound, but Spencer felt his jaw feather with annoyance. Because she was beyond a pretty girl, she was honey and all the months of Spring and a hot drink on a rainy day and finishing a good book and the dessert your mom let you have on your tenth birthday. Not that he could admit that. So he just nodded, right as Taylor leaned over to kiss the apple of her cheek.Â
She shied away, smiling to her lap and playing with her fingertips, not looking up from her little potted plant that sat next to her on her desk, and Spencer knew it was because she floundered when people gave her too much attention.
Like when Garcia had said her blouse and bun combo sheâd worn the other day made her look like a sexy teaching assistant, sheâd stammered something close to a thankyou and headed to the kitchenette to get herself a glass of water. Or when Rossi had said the bangs she had cut herself two weeks ago looked cute, that his daughter had been desperate to try something similar, sheâd spilled her coffee down her front not even two seconds later because she had been so occupied telling the man it was no big deal.Â
âMorning, Doctor Reid, Doctor Lewis,â Taylor said, his pearly white teeth gleaming with that West Coast, surfer boy tan that made Spencer want to huff. The man was insufferable. Well, correction, he was insufferably nice for someone Spencer was desperate to pick apart with faults the second heâd seen her preening over their sunshine rookie.Â
âMorning, Agent Bingley,â Tara said civilly, smiling back at the Agent that passed them to head to the elevators. She caught a glimpse of Spencer, and was quick to make herself scarce in the interest of needing to check in with Penelope, because she knew what that stormy look in his eye and the way his lips pressed into a thin line meant, profiler or not.Â
Spencer didnât pay much attention to Lewis leaving his side, not that he was trying to be rude, his eyes were zeroed in on the way she fumbled around her desk, looking for imaginary mess to tidy, which included rearranging the pots of glitter pens and highlighters next to her monitor, only to put them back exactly how they were before.Â
âAgent Bingley, thatâs new,â Came a voice over her shoulder, that made her jump in her seat, and her expression was skittish when she swivelled around, Spencer towering over her with calculating eyes. Luke rolled his chair around the divider to lean in on the conversation, having witnessed the whole thing in high definition since her desk was right next to his.Â
âOh, Taylor?â She squeaked, and Spencer didnât need to touch her face to know it had gone hot just by the way she simpered and fiddled with the hem of her knee length skirt, avoiding their gaze, âYeah, he took me to the aquarium at the weekend and we got lunch. Itâs not really serious or anything, I donât think,âÂ
She seemed unsure, her lips pursed together and a tiny crease between her brow he hated, and it was then Lukeâs deep laugh rumbled next to them.Â
âDoes he know that?â Luke asked, and she shot him a look, wide eyed and confused, as he cleared his throat, âI was thinking I could take you out again in that pretty red dress-â
She threw a wad of scrunched up notepaper at him, an embarrassed smile on her face as she shook her head at him, âYou have spent way too much time with Penelope, youâre turning into gossiping school children,âÂ
But she seemed happy, like the thought of the conversation sheâd had with Agent Bingley made her all the more girlish herself as she giggled lightly, her gaze meeting Spencerâs empty expression. He wished he could hide his jealousy better, perhaps even seem happy for her. She deserved someone soft and saccharine and humane like Bingley, not a rough shell of what once was a brilliant man. He knew he should feel somewhat pleased for her, at least now he had empirical, hard evidence on why he couldnât have her, but he couldnât.Â
âAll Iâm saying, rookie, is if you got that man bringing you breakfast and sweet talking you after one date, youâll have him wrapped around your pinky by the time heâs your boyfriend,â Luke chuckled, and Spencer thought he might just burst a vessel with how hard he clenched his jaw at that dreaded b word.Â
Alvez had no idea just how much he had twisted a knife in Spencerâs gut, which was plunged even further when he saw that sparkle in her eye when she looked up at him.Â
âIgnore him, heâs a busy body,â She chirped, her teeth peeking from her lips when she hid a grin, âYou wanna get coffee later? Taylor brought me tea and Iâm dying for the good stuff,âÂ
Spencer nodded with a small smile, because her attitude was infectious, and selfishly thinking that Bingley couldnât be that perfect for her because she only ever wanted tea when she felt sick, usually towards the start of the month that he guessed was in correlation with her menstrual cycle but would never ask. She wouldnât want tea for another two weeks, and would likely take an extra shot in her cappuccino today because this was when she felt the most lethargic. Â
Swivelling back around in her chair to log onto her computer, she remained completely oblivious to his inner turmoil.Â
For once, Spencer wished heâd been late to work.
â
Two months. They had been dating for two fucking months. As far as Spencer could tell, from Penelopeâs need to chatter about their sunshine rookie and her hot, stud muffin of a boyfriend, things had only been official for about five weeks of that time, but it hadnât stopped Spencer from wanting to swallow glass because that would likely be less inconvenient than seeing the two of them together.Â
Taylor usually brought her breakfast whenever they would get back from a case, which infuriated Spencer because he always bought her tea. She was a people pleaser, Spencer knew it before he had ever thought of her as anything other than the shiny newbie with too much joy and doe eyes heâd never seen before. But now, knowing her better than anyone else in the office did because she practically shadowed his footsteps, it was blaringly obvious to him that she had either never told him she didnât like tea first thing in the morning, or he had never bothered to take notice.Â
Spencer felt an odd puddle of smugness and fury when on more than one occasion he saw her pouring it down the drain, cold after sitting there for hours until it was unbearable and she couldnât force herself to drink anymore. It was obvious to him, so why wasnât it obvious to her own boyfriend? Spencer thought bitterly. But then Agent Bingley did leave a sour taste in his mouth these days.
Speaking of which, Spencer felt that pang in his chest the way he always did when the happy couple walked into the office together. Her hand was usually in his, though she seemed to simper under the weight of the team's glances; knowing and teasing as heâd take her to her desk and whip out the to-go pastries that heâd bought them that morning.Â
âMorning, Spence,â She skipped past his desk, Taylor trailing behind her like a dog, though she seemed not to mind keeping him waiting a moment as she spoke to her friend, âHow was Doctor Who?â
He smiled despite his grudge, because she always remembered what he said. Heâd told her once that Thursdays were his evening to watch the show, and every time Friday morning rolled around, sheâd bound up to lean over his computer and ask.Â
âIt was okay, Iâm excited to see what they do with a Female Doctor, even if Iâll miss Capaldi,â He replied earnestly, and her eyes filled with glee.Â
âDid they give her a new one of the doo-hickies they have?â She asked, his chest butterflying with an aching sort of affection because she seemed to remember everything he ever told her.Â
âSonic Screwdriver?â She nodded her head, even though Spencer knew she didnât quite understand the show entirely, âYeah, I prefer Sarah Janeâs Sonic Lipstick however,âÂ
âI wish I had one of those, I could reapply and save the world, how cool would that be?â She said, and they laughed together a little, before Taylor popped his head over Spencerâs computer with that dentist white beam and his excitable eyes, bluer than any sea rolling onto shore.Â
âMorning, Doctor Reid,â Agent Bingley said, and the smile withered from Spencerâs face, morphing into a civil nod, his expression unreadable.Â
âMorning, Agent,â He said, his eyes tracking back to his screen as he suddenly found Emilyâs group email about staff room fridge etiquette invigorating.Â
Taylor must have taken it as a sign the Doctor Reid was busy and finally let him have a minutes peace, that is until she took a seat at her desk and he leaned next to her, handing her a warm bagel.Â
Spencer heard them chatting for about ten minutes, of which he was trying anything to tune them out, including roping Luke into their own conversation. It wasnât until there was a lapse in the chatter that Spencerâs ears pricked up, and he heard her stand up from her desk, eyes wide as she spat a mouthful out into a tissue.Â
âDoes this have coconut in it?â She asked somewhat fearfully, Spencerâs head whipping around to her little corner of the bullpen. Her little self help stickers dotted around her desktop stared back at him, her reminder to âdrink waterâ almost horribly ironic the second heâd heard her question.Â
His stomach dropped when Taylor frowned, âYeah, itâs coconut and raspberry, is-is that not okay?âÂ
Spencer was quick to stand up out of his own seat, rifling through his satchel to dig out his water bottle, making it to her desk in just two long paces and handing it to her without another word as she looked up at him worriedly.Â
âIf you need to puke, itâll probably be for the best so that you can get the traces out of your stomach. You canât have the steroids before you hurl or it wonât work,â He soothed, and she nodded, sipping on his water with shaky hands, and Spencer was quick to catch the way her skin had a slight sheen to it that hadnât been there before. He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to gage if she was well enough to make it to the bathroom on her own or if he would need to drive her to the ER. Either way her expression worried him.Â
âI-I thought it was white chocolate,â She peeped, looking extremely sorry for herself as she dumped the chewed up brownie in her bin, and Taylor almost appeared at her side, looking entirely lost as he stroked a hand down her hair.Â
âTalk to me, whatâs wrong?â He asked, seafoam hues trailing down her sweating face in terror.Â
âSheâs allergic to coconut,â Spencer cut in, his tone a little harsher than needed, and her boyfriendâs expression wilted like a kicked puppy.Â
âShit! You never mentioned, Iâm so- Iâm so sorry, honey,â Taylor went pale, and she didnât look much better as she pushed past the two of them, heading for the bathroom, Spencer a single pace behind her.Â
âI got her, donât worry,â He called over his shoulder to Agent Bingley standing there like a gaping fish, his hand running through his blonde sweep as he watched her all but running out of the office, Spencerâs long legs keeping up with her.Â
âIs your skin getting prickly yet?â Spencer asked. Swouldn't go into anaphylaxis, at least not as far as they knew, but the large hives that would appear on her chest and neck and the vomiting was not ideal. She kept a tray of steroids in her desk incase an accidental cross contamination happened (and because Spencer had forced her to have some on hand), but seeing her panicked eyes as she tasted the chalky fruit had made him fawn over her like she was marked for the plague.Â
âNeck is getting itchy,â She replied, tugging at her collar and pushing the door to the unisex bathrooms open, heading for the nearest stall, âYou donât have to stay for this bit, itâs not-â
He cut her off by sweeping her hair into a ponytail, as if to tell her to stop worrying about him, and he stroked a hand over her arm to let her know he was right there, because he knew she really hated anything gory and gross like that.Â
He hushed her when sheâd try to apologise, hand her his bottle of water in between moments where her whole body seized.
And for a minute, she thought that Spencer might be the only person who sheâd ever let see her like this. Not Luke, or Garcia and certainly not Taylor.Â
The thought of it kept her quiet for the rest of the morning.Â
-
They seemed to move past the whole debacle quickly. Luke said Taylor had taken her to a fancy restaurant uptown to apologise, making a huge point to avoid the coconut banoffee pudding like it was an explosive.Â
âYou guys are so cute, youâre like Jane and heâs literally your Bingley. I swear your kids are going to be sweet enough I could drizzle them right next to ice cream,â Penelope said over the SUV console speaker, Spencer in the driving seat and her in the passenger, flicking through her files as they approached the victimâs house.Â
The rookie blanched, âWoah, woah, kids?â She protested, and even Spencer felt himself nearly swerve the minute the bubbly IT geek said it. She looked shaken, awkwardly chuckling and reaching to tuck hair behind her ear, âSlow down, Garcia, weâve not even- you know what, I think weâre talking about the wrong thing here-âÂ
âYouâve not even what?â Penelope burst out, her need for the lastest gossip overwhelming the reading of the room. She swallowed heavily, shifting in her seat to face out of the window, her knees touching the door with a thud, âHave you guys not had sex yet?âÂ
âPenelope!â The woman screeched, her face hot and gobsmacked that sheâd even said it out loud.Â
But it was telling enough, and Spencerâs face whirled over the console to her, guilt written on her features.Â
âI just assumed you guys had done it seeing as both of you are the hottest couple I know, I mean I wouldnât be able to keep my hands off you if I was a guy-â Penelope tried to save herself in the only way she knew how, by digging herself a deeper hole.Â
Spencerâs hand shot out for the centre screen, âWeâre losing you, Garcia, youâre breaking up, bye,â He pressed the end call button, and he didnât need to look at the girlâs face to know she was the epitome of mortified.Â
Spencer opened his mouth to say something, the awkward silence of the car killing him as much as he knew it was her, but he thought better of it and clamped his mouth shut. It took him a minute before he opened his mouth to speak again, if not to ask her if she wanted to stop at a drive thru for breakfast, but she beat him to it.Â
âI was going to say weâve not even said I love you yet,â She murmured, keeping her body entirely swivelled away from him, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to make herself smaller, as if she could just smush herself into the seat so he wouldnât say anything. She cleared her throat, scratching her wrist nervously, âBut I guess thatâs also true too,âÂ
âWhy not?â Her eyes snapped onto Spencer when he braved those two words, and he sensed heâd overstepped some sort of boundary before he realised it sounded like heâd been speaking about the latter, âWhy havenât you said it?â He clarified.Â
She went quiet, her shoulders shrugging being the only sign that sheâd heard him, gaze trailing back out her window.Â
âHeâs not said it yet either, and I donât think I want him to. Not yet at least,â Her voice was soft, heavy as if every single one of them was coming from her heart, âLove is such a big emotion I think if he did say it, I wouldnât know how to respond. Like, if Iâm going to say it back to someone, I want to be sure I feel it otherwise itâs like Iâm betraying everyone elseâs version of love, you know?âÂ
He thought she might just be an angel bottled up and thrown into his life, and he sometimes wished he could take a look inside that head of hers because how she had protected her beautiful look on the world after seeing so much hurt staggered him. He had become cruel and cold and heavy where she looked at the lecherous shithole heading for disaster they called Earth and saw right to its soul, gave it a hug, told it she would care even when no one else would.Â
He tore his eyes from the road, and took in the outline of her face, mindlessly watching the pedestrians on their daily commute to grab lunch, a dog peeing against a lamp post, a motorcyclist bobbing and weaving in between the midday traffic, her doe eyes never missing a trick.
Forcing his gaping expression back on the road, because he might just swerve and hit the damn rider off his bike if he let himself get lost in his little dreamscape that consisted of nothing but her and her face and her thoughts and her words, he cleared his throat, not sure how to add to the poetic, rose tint she seemed to see the world in.
âThatâs good, that youâre taking things at your own pace, atleast,â He said, not particularly profound but at least it was something, âYou shouldnât do things just because someone else wants you to, even if you think it would make them happy,â
âBut I like making people happy,â She countered, her expression troubled as she looked over at him with a quirked brow, âI like making you happy especially,â
âWhat makes you think Iâm not happy?â Spencer asked, his mouth drying up, his stomach flipping in cartwheels when she giggled to herself like for once she was the smart one snd he was the one who needed teaching.
âIt took you three and a half weeks to crack a smile when we first started working together,â His jaw clenched, because he was the one who counted the statistics. Perhaps he was rubbing off on her. âHonestly, I thought you hated me. I thought a seasoned agent like yourself probably would get frustrated teaching the dumb newbie the ABCâs, even ones that admire him. But then I thought, instead of getting so butt hurt about it all, I could just give you a reason to smile and youâd see that Iâm not just a useless rookie learning to roll over for treats.â
Spencerâs throat bobbed. Heâd hate himself forever for being so cruel to her those first few weeks, the clipped tones when sheâd add something in a particularly chirpy voice, the way he would forget his manners sometimes when sheâd bring him a coffee, because his head had been so deep in survival mode that being nice didnât matter. Being nice had got him nowhere in Mexico, in fact it had shown his soft underbelly and drawn a target on it.Â
âI never hated you,â His voice croaked out, weak and pathetic, and it's times like that he remembered ten years ago talking to her would have made him blush, pop a boner, and lose half his IQ all in one go. Coughing, his knuckles turned white at the wheel, and he avoids her gaze that feels like a pitfall trap, âItâs difficult to go back to how you used to be when youâve got a thousand eyes on your back waiting for you to lower your guard,â
âI know, I know that now, I jus-â She floundered, worried sheâd touched a nerve, but he stopped her by leaning over the console and putting a gentle hand on her kneecap.
âRelax, I know I wasnât the most pleasant person to be around,â Spencer said, his timbre quiet but honest, âYou were one of the few things I looked forward to, if Iâm honest.â
âReally?â She said, agog, like she was waiting for him to turn around and say it had been a joke, âYou didnât think Iâm too loud or, like, too much?â
âHow can there be too much of you? If your body wasnât in correct proportion, your organs wouldn't function-â
âSpencer,â She said, though he knew she was smiling even without having to look, âYou know thatâs not what I meant,â
âI know,â He replied, a smug little smile quirking on his own lips because he loved making her happy too, âNo, I could never find you too much.â
She simpered under his words, his hand a stoked flame on her skin as she brought her fingers over the top of them to squeeze them together, before she changed the subject because she knew her cheeks might just explode if they heated anymore.
â
They were back from a long case, one that had made everyone tired and grumpy, especially because they needed to swing by the office for an hour of admin even Emily couldnât wriggle them out of.Â
And ofcourse, as he always was when Spencer was feeling like he was already about to strangle someone out of annoyance, Agent Bingley was right there when they entered the lobby.
She hadnât slept well on the jet, despite Spence loaning her his jumper to use as a pillow, and she was in desperate need of coffee, the kind that Spencer and Penelope forced her to try instead of the cold caramel thing she liked. Sheâd even go for one of Lukeâs zero sugar, zero milk atrocities right now.
âHey guys, how was the flight?â Taylor jumped in to ask, and everyone gave some sort of variation of a groan because that was exactly how it had felt. His attention turned to her, as she pulled up the rear with Spencer attached her her hip because she had been practically sleepwalking the entire way there, âHi honey,â
âTaylor, hi,â She said, her eyes perking up when he held out a hot take away cup for her, âYou really didnât have to,â
âNonsense, herbal tea is supposed to alleviate headaches and help get you to sleep,â He replied, his other hand behind his back quickly whipping out to produce a bunch of flowers in front of her face.
She barely had time to flash him a grin to hide the disappointment that it was nowhere near as caffeinated as sheâd like, nor that she didnât even liked herbal tea, before a bunch of lilies were thrust her way.
âLillies,â She said, her hand covering her chest at the touching sentiment, âTaylor, you shouldnât have,â
âI know theyâre your favourites,â The blonde replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and effectively putting a wall between her and Spencer, whether he meant to or not. Her expression wavered, and Spencer's eyes went straight to her, waiting for her to correct him. Because they werenât her favourites, not even in her top five. Hyacinths were. Or Foxglove. Or Delphiniums. Not Lillies.Â
She nodded wordlessly, and the three of them headed for the lift, where the rest of the team held the door for them, her expression tiptoeing between guilty and smiling, Taylorâs almost ecstatic to see her after her long few days away, and Spencerâs entirely pissed off that the sun kissed jerk couldnât see every sign blaring in his face.Â
âI might have to cut off the stamen when Ace comes over,â She queried, her eyes roving over the beautiful white petals opening towards her like a book.
âAce? Whoâs Ace?â He said, and Spencer and JJ exchanged a glance, because the whole elevator was now privy to their conversation as David pressed the six button. Taylor reached forward to push the three for himself.
âThe dog I foster sometimes, the one I told you about. He helps me when I need to talk through some things. Heâs a very good listener,,â She said with a dopey smile on her face, her eyes casting over her boyfriends face with a willing expression, because she knew for a fact sheâd told him at lengths about the bouncy Spaniel that adored her, âHe comes over for playdates, but the pollen inside lilies are poisonous to dogs,â
Taylor scrunched his nose up, âUgh, I hate dogs, theyâre so slobbery and the always seem to smell awful,â He commented, her face dropping the slightest in a way that made Spencerâs hand curl into a fist, because how dare Agent Bingley take that away from her, âI thought you were a cat person?â
âI like them both equally, but Ace is sweet. He curls up on my legs after weâve gone for a walk,â Taylor still didnât seem convinced, and she felt stupid for even mentioning it, well aware that the rest of her team were listening in on her childish description of the old dog that wanted nothing but love.Â
âWhy do you need a dog to talk anyway, babe? You have me,â Taylor said, in a way that was supposed to sound comforting but made Spencer want to shake him and tell him to listen to a damn word she was saying. Her eyes dimmed, and she looked at the lilies again, feeling entirely ungrateful for wishing they were something else, and the elevator doors opened onto the third floor. Taylor kissed her cheek and waltzed out of the lift with a quick goodbye to her team that was returned in murmurs. Turning to look at her, his body already in the anteroom of his own floor, he smiled sweetly at her, âI love you,â
JJ and Emily whipped their heads to her face, expecting to see some kind of puppy love blossom there, only to find wide-eyed panic, her smile slowly slipping. Rossi cleared his throat when she said nothing, the air turning stale as the team waited for her response, Taylor looking at her expectantly, and she wished the ground would open up then and there to swallow her whole, because that would probably be better than whatever this was.
Tara nudged her shoulder, waking her out of her daze, Luke scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, and it was then after a beat more of silence that Taylor opened his mouth again, âBabe, did you hear what I-â
She leaned forward to press the close door button, her doe hues in full flight mode, her fingers only picking up the pace when her boyfriend took a step closer towards the elevator, and Emily brought a hand over her mouth in muffled laughter when the doors slammed shut in front of him, their sunshine rookie entirely spooked and needing a quick exit.
The tiny metal box went silent, Spencer watching her face meld from alarm to horror, to sheer embarrassment.
âI mean, Iâll give it to you kid, thatâs one way to do it,â Rossi said, patting her on the back and she shoved her face in her hands, the stems of the dove white flowers brushing against her cheek roughly.
âPlease tell me that didnât just happen,â She groaned through her fingers, JJ chuckling as the doors to their own floor opened up.
âOh honey,â She said, rubbing the girlâs back gently, leading her out onto the BAU carpet that felt harsher against the souls of her shoes than it ever had before, âI think what you need is a coffee and a long talk with someone who isnât a dog,â
Spencer watched her shuffle to slump down behind her desk, her expression still rattled and lost, JJâs eyes flicking to him every now and then in a way that urged him to be the one to do just that because it was obvious by now who she talked the most openly to in the office.
But by the time heâd braved walking over to her desk, sheâd already rushed through her report, excusing herself home for the day, and he knew her well enough to know she needed some breathing room before he could approach the subject, otherwise she would shut the doors on him too.
He hated the spiteful part of him that revelled in Taylorâs expression when that metal screen had slammed in his face.
â
It was three days later, and she had enforced a strict ban on talking about that day in the office. For once she didnât look like she was going to break her resolve either, since every time someone tried to weasel information of her she would either pretend she hadnât heard, or would excuse herself to make her fifth coffee of the day, or even had thrown her paperwork on the floor when Luke had pushed her for an answer just for an excuse to avoid the topic.
In fact, Spencer himself had been tempted to get her alone because he knew she would crack without much pressure from him, though the thought of using her trusting nature against her seemed wicked, and so he stopped himself and settled for curiosity.
It wasnât until they were away on a case and they were shoved in a room together that the subject of Taylor was even brought up, and even then it was entirely out of his control.
âIâll take the couch,â Spencer said, his eyes falling on the double bed in the centre of the room, striding over the other side of the room to throw his to go bag down on the two seater sofa that would wreck his back.
âDonât be silly, we can just share the bed.â She said, as if it was the most obvious solution, which it was, âI sleep talk a little, but just give me a shove and Iâll shut up,âÂ
Spencer paused, watching her fumbling around her bag for her toothbrush and paste.
âWonât your boyfriend mind?â He asked, his palms clammy because he worried for a moment it was wrong to bring it up, and his chest butterflied when she froze, âSorry, I know you didnât want to talk about it, I just thought I wouldnât like my girlfriend sharing a bed-â
âWe broke up,â She said, taking pulling a large pink shirt out her bag and some strawberry printed shorts, her toiletries stuffed in her pockets, âSo donât worry about any of that stuff, we can share,â
And she waltzed into the bathroom without any more explanation, the lock clicking behind her and leaving Spencer alone with his thoughts.
They had broken up? Was it because of what happened in the elevator? Was it because of what Penelope said in the car? Was she the one to break up with him or the other way around?
Spencer felt like a gossip, even though his thoughts had gone no further than his cranium, and by the time she emerged from the bathroom, fresh faced and in her pyjamas, he had already changed himself, tucked himself under the cover in the hope she understood they didnât need to talk about it if she didnât want to.
She smiled at him, tucking her dirty clothes back in her bag and heading for the bed, slipping under the plush duvet with a soft ooft.Â
âLight on or off?â She asked, her finger hovering over the switch beside their bed.
âOn, if thatâs okay?â He replied and she nodded wordlessly, shuffling down under the covers, pulling them up to just below her armpits. Crossing her arms over her stomach like she was snow white waiting to fall into a poison-laced slumber, her eyes bore holes into the ceiling, and his thoughts banged loudly against his temple. The silence of the room seemed to only turn their avoidance tactics into a cacophony they couldnât ignore.
âIf youâre going to ask questions, I might as well tell you before we get back to Quantico.â She said finally, her sigh heavy and exhausted and she looked over at him, his brunette locks splaying over the pillow in waves, his facial hair scratching against the sheet when he flicked his head over to her too.Â
Hazel had never been such a pretty colour than when they sat in silence for a moment, staring at one another, almost daring the other to speak first. He swallowed, his mouth watering at how she looked, tucked under the sheets, her body lax and soft under her pyjamas, her hands skimming over her stomach nervously.
âIs it because of the day in the elevator?â Spencer asked after a few minutes, breaths suddenly becoming difficult to regulate naturally unless he forced them to be, because he was so close to her under the covers, his entire body too long and gangly for just a twin bed, he could smell her shampoo and conditioning combo in full force. Her spearmint tongue rolled words around her mouth for a minute, dropping down to his Star Wars shirt he felt childish for wearing the minute he saw her looking at it.
âKind of, he just wanted us to move so fast, it just kinda made me nervous, but I always thought being nervous was supposed to be good, you know?â She sighed, forgetting to breathe in between her splurge of words that had been building up inside her for weeks, âLike you said the feeling of excitement and fear are almost identical so I think I just convinced myself I was being dumb and I was being a bad person for not just giving him what he wanted. Iâm supposed to love him, right? Being his girlfriend and all that,â
He had said that; because scientifically that was exactly correct. The hormones released during love and during fear were, down to their core, chemical matches, and it felt funny sheâd remembered that fact considering she made him feel somewhere in between too. He knew she was special, just as much as he knew the idea of tainting her with his core terrified him. Like he secreted some kind of radiation that would ruin her if she got too close for too long. But he couldnât help it. How do you stop yourself from wanting something good? It was just science. A Pavlovian response.Â
âYouâre not supposed to do anything. Thereâs no timeline for how you feel, and you canât force yourself to feel something any quicker or stronger than you do,â He said, shaking his head when she bit her lip, her fingertips playing with one another ontop of the sheets.
âHe wanted to know when I was ready to haveâŠâ She swallowed, her cheeks heating, âIntimacy with him. A-and itâs not like Iâve not done it before, I had a boyfriend in high school, but I just felt like with himâŠâ
âHe didnât pressure you, did he?â Spencer asked, his brows furrowing as he felt a surge of annoyance flash through his blood that she had wound herself up so much just because of some guy who couldnât keep it in his pants for a few months.Â
Her eyes widened, taking in the storm brewing in that beautiful woodland gaze of his, and she shook her head quickly, âNo, no, nothing like that. This was all on me, it was all just me being dumb,â
âYouâre not being dumb just because some guy didnât like the answer you gave,â He corrected, exhaling deeply and letting his frown drop, because he knew she hated when he did that, âWhy didnât you want to, if you donât mind me asking?â
She shrugged, looking back up at the dusty lamp shade hanging from the ceiling, the cobwebs that smattered around the wooden panels.
âI donât know, I just kind of never saw the two of us.. becoming intimate, you know?â She said, her tone sheepish like she was in confession and he was a priest sat on the other side of the divide. He looked over at her, scanning the outline of her face, but she seemed adamant on avoiding his gaze, because she knew she would spill everything the minute she looked at him. With Spencer, there were no secrets, and that was entirely the problem.Â
Spencerâs lips pursed, thinking of exactly the right thing to say to such a delicate soul when she was laying herself hypothetically bare for him.Â
âYou donât have to be intimate in a relationship if you donât want to. No one who loves you should ever make you feel like thereâs an expectation or like you owe them that,â Spencer explained softly, edging his pinky finger out the tiniest bit to catch the back of her hand that now lay flat on the bed, her head turning up to meet his round forest hues that looked down at her with more softness than heâd felt in a long time.Â
He wished he could stay here with her forever. In the quiet of this room, they were just the two of them, not Doctor Reid and the Special Agent he had a huge hopeless crush on that was years his junior and thought she could fix everything wrong with the world.Â
âI know,â She sighs, and his heart caught in his throat when her pinky raises up to meet his own, the tips of their fingers brushing against one another like they were meeting each other for a slow dance. He had touched her many times before, but there was something illicit about this time. Like their skin had become oppositely charged and was pulling the other one in with an electric crackle, âHe never pressured me but I felt like I could have tried harder to want it.â
âIf you donât want it, you donât ever have to have it. A lot of people reach your age when your frontal cortex is developed and realise they might be asexual, itâs not a bad thing-â He tried reassuring her, but she was quick to shake her head again, bashfully ripping her eyes away from him to look at their caressing fingertips.Â
âNo, no. Itâs not that I never want to be intimate ever, I just never really felt comfortable around him enough to let myself want it. Like I couldnât just be me with him, I was just being what he wanted me to be. Like he never really knew the real me,â She explained, and she rolled over onto her side to face him, her other finger coming up to absentmindedly trace over the prominent vein that ran up his arm, stopping just below where his old needle scars were at the crook of his elbow. If she saw them, she didnât say a word, but Spencer felt like she was trailing a flame over his skin. He thought if she took his manhood in her hand sheâd probably get the exact same response from him, because with every invisible swirl and line she drew over his skin, he felt a heat ripping through his loins. âDoes that make sense? Like I didnât think he would like the ikky parts of me so I ended up putting on a charade,âÂ
âY-yeah,â He replied, and his stammer made her look up, eyes wide and innocent as she watched him all but falling apart under a single fingertip. God he was pathetic. Mid thirties and nearly finishing in his boxers over a pretty girl touching his arm. Only it wasnât just a pretty girl. It was her. His sunshine girl. âBut I donât think you have any ikky parts, to be honest,â
Her eyes deepened into pools of awe, and he watched her trail a glance down his nose to his mouth vulnerably.
âSpencer, youâre being too kind,â She whispered, and he swore his chest lurched.
He cleared his throat, and moved to roll over towards her too, hoping to disperse some of the energy that was clogging between them, only for it to become dialled to a hundred, trapping them in a tiny box where they were looking at one another, laying on the bed they were being forced to share and almost holding hands, because committing to full thing was scary like they were ten years old in a playground.Â
âOf course that makes sense. Itâs much healthier to form intimate relationships with people we trust and feel safe with than rushing into things,â Spencer tried to breeze past the tension, but her breath was fanning over his face, almost tripping him over his words, because she was still looking at him like he knew all the answers. Because he usually did. Except for this time. This time, he felt like he was walking blind towards his point, âNot that one night stands should be shamed or anything, but itâs much better to engage in sexual intercourse with someone when it feels right,â
She breathed out deeply, licking her lips, and her finger movements stopped.Â
âSo itâs just a when you know, you know, kind of thing?â She asked, her brows pulling together in a saddened frown, âIâm not, like, broken or anything?âÂ
He sat up on his elbow, grabbing her wrist tight enough she would listen the minute he said it to her, because he never wanted to hear her say that again, âThere is nothing wrong with you, you hear me?â She looked up at him with glassy eyes, wide and shocked to see him so desperately insistent over her, âYou feeling secure is more important than any guy out there, no matter how nice they are, got it?âÂ
She nodded after a beat, because she thought her brain might have stopped working with the way he was leaned over her, looking down at her with a glimmer of the harshness heâd been drowning in when she first met him. These days he seemed to have mellowed out the tiniest bit, except the straightforward tone he held with everyone else who wasnât her, or the general heavy handedness he didnât seem to realise he was capable of. Like in the way his warm, rough hands gripped the skin of her wrist, his expression somewhat frustrated though not with her as he looked down at where she was half beneath him.
âSpence?â She whispered into the electricity between them, her eyes trailing over his nose again and ghosting over his half attempt at facial hair. They were just whisps, but they suited him embarrassingly well. He didnât reply, just stared at her to wait for her response, âI feel safe with you, you know that?âÂ
He swore his heart was thumping out of his chest. She looked divine under his hand, sweet like a pudding begging him to taste, and he couldnât help it when his thumb trailed up the side of her jaw, brushing just under her bottom lip, and she seemed to press herself further into his touch, a cat being scratched behind velvet ears.
âYouâd tell me if you ever wanted me to stop, wouldnât you?â He murmured, gooseflesh crawling up his arm when she nodded, her eyes boring holes into his soul when she looked up at him like that. Â
âAlways,â She answered honestly, blinking at him once, twice, before she took a deep breath for courage, âBut what if I never wanted you to stop?â
Spencer nearly moaned when he crashed their lips together, and he heard her squeak in delight beneath him, his large hand cupping her jaw, weaving into her hair, tugging her closer. She felt like her was consuming her whole, and she had no qualms about it, not when she reached a hand up to his shoulder and tugged him even more on top of her, the weight of him on her chest comforting and achingly right.Â
He pulled away to breathe for a moment, but she was chasing his lips, her touch maddening and he swore his brain switched off when she ran a hand up his spine, slipping under his shirt and tracing over every one of his vertebrae making him shiver. Her lips were stronger than any craving he had ever felt, the instant dopamine rush embarrassing for a man of his age, so hardened by the world reduced to putty, ready to beg for more because now heâd had a taste of her ambrosia, he didnât think he could ever think straight again. A man sent crazy by forbidden wine.
He pushed her hair away from her face, using his long fingers to wrap around the back of her head and pull her impossibly closer to him, his other arm skirting down to her clothed waist and pressing their bodies together. She whined in his mouth, and Spencer thought he could finally die happy.
He pulled away to let her catch a gasp, her fingers carding through his long, brown curls, scratching against his scalp in a way that drew a low growl from his throat. He needed more, needed her, more than the air he gulped down ravenously and he found himself kissing at her soft neck, her head tipped back in bliss as he kissed every inch he could.
âThe reason I didnât want it with Taylor,â She choked between manic breaths, her hands holding onto him so tight he knew she didnât have any intention of asking him to stop, âWas because it didnât feel like this,â
Spencer wove their fingers together, pushing her hand above her head as the other came up to tilt her face towards him, looking into her bleary eyes for a second, their noses ghosting past one another, her mint breath delicious on his lips.
âIt never feels like this, baby,â He whispered, their foreheads pressing together before he gave into her again and pressed his lips against hers so hard she whimpered into his mouth.
And she believed him.
--
hi!!! here for a request. can we have a imagine where reader has a wound from surgery or whatever on like in a rib and she hides to change the bandages but then spencer sees her and heâs like âlemme help youâ andâŠ
you do you for the rest!
in which spencer helps BAU fem!reader change her bandages in the bathroom at work. it's intimate, and he's adorable and awkward, and it only fuels her terrible, terrible crush.
warnings/tags: fluff, talk/description of wound, brief talk of being stabbed (does not actually occur in this fic lol), reader wears a bra, spencer undoes said bra but not sexually, lots of suggestive humor and teasing, a TINY sprinkling of angst but not really, idiots in love
a/n: i'm picturing early seasons spencer and it is filling me with so much unbridled joy. I. LOVE. HIM. thank you for the request!! and lets not talk about how inconsistent my formatting for requests is pls and thanks!!
Itâs not like you meant to bend down so quickly that your wound reopenedâbut here you are, suffering the consequences of your actions in the womenâs bathroom at Quantico as you try to assess the injury before you re-bandage it. And your shoe is still untied.Â
Unfortunately, the fact that you had quite literally been stabbed in the back last week makes it hard to reach said injuryâespecially when youâre at work and so canât take off your shirt like you normally would. And all this struggling means itâs taking longer than it should, so now youâre focused on the wound and its scabby, wet edges and all the things itâs secreting rather than hurrying to give another statement of the entire event to Hotch since the first one had apparently been too sparse on the details.Â
A knock sounds on the open door. Spencer calls your name.Â
âYou in there?â
The angle of your neck has your voice slightly strained as you call back, âyeah, whatâs up? Is it Hotch?â you pause to hiss as you accidentally scratch at the wound with a nail. You donât even want to know how much bacteria you just introduced to it. âTell him I didnât forget our meeting, Iâll be there inââ
âItâs not Hotch. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with your back? I know you said you were going to check on it, but youâve been in there a while.â
You sigh, dropping your sore arm as you continue to hold up your shirt with the other and regarding the reflection of your back in the mirror.Â
âActuallyâcould you come in here?â
Thereâs a pause.Â
âYou want me to come into the womenâs restroom?â
âYes, Spencer. Itâs fine. Thereâs nobody else in here. I just⊠I need some help, I think.â
The last part is admitted quietly, with an air of defeat. To admit to needing help, is, by your standards, the same as failure. Spencer knows this, which is probably the only reason he puts aside his hesitations and shuffles uncertainly into the tiled room. If youâre asking for help, itâs because you really need it.Â
âWhat do you need help with?â he asks, sweeping his gaze suspiciously around the lavatory as if you were lying about there not being any other women present and this whole thing might be a trap of some sort.Â
âItâs gross, and you can totally say no.â
He raises his brows expectantly, before spotting the weeping wound on your back. Unconsciously he steps closer, leaning forward. Itâs not your fault, and the gore is not specific to youâanyoneâs body would react this way to being stabbed. But you still feel embarrassed by the close attention to such an ugly marring, which nobody besides you and your doctors has actually seen up close.
âThat doesnât look good,â he mutters. The expression on his face is irritatingly familiarâthe drawn brows, tightened eyes, barely parted lipsâbut it takes a moment before you realize what it is.Â
âReid,â you complain. Heâs still stooped over slightly to examine the wound, and looks up at you through dark lashes with those infuriatingly warm puppydog eyes.
âWhat?â
âYouâre looking at me the way you look at a dead body on the slab.â
His nose scrunches.
Some might say it scrunches adorably.Â
âNo, Iâm not. Thatâs just my face.â
âOkay, well stop. Itâs freaking me out.â
He poutsâactually pouts. Subtle, but bottom lip jutted out and all. Itâs ridiculously endearing.Â
âMy face freaks you out?â
âWhâno! Thatâs not what I said! You haveâyou have a great face! I didnât meanââÂ
You manage to claw yourself out of the hole youâre digging when you see the dopey smile growing on his face.Â
Oh. He was fucking with you.Â
He never used to do that. Itâs unnerving to be the fucked with instead of the fucker for a change. Especially when itâs Spencer.Â
âWhat did you need me for?â Spencer asks by way of peace offering. You close your eyes and sigh, attempting to collect your thoughts without his presence re-scrambling them. Â
âUmâI just need you to put this bandage over it. I canât reach without taking my shirt off.â
And now youâre forced to wonder if heâs thinking about you shirtless as much as youâre thinking about you shirtless.
âYeahâdonât do that,â he says absentmindedly, stepping again closer to get a better look before turning to the nearest sink.
For some reason, this offends you.Â
âWhy not?â
Spencer pulls another face as he washes his handsâyou love the constant flow of expressions he always seems so unconscious of. Even when theyâre not pleasant and directed at you. Â
âAre you asking me why shouldnât you take your shirt off?â he clarifies.Â
âI know why I shouldnât take my shirt off, but I want to know why you think I shouldnât take my shirt off.â
âBecause weâre at work?â he observes astutely. You frown deeply at his completely logical reply. Spencer chuckles as he dries his hands and approaches once more, taking the square of gauze pre-lined with medical tape from your hand. âI mean, I canât stop you. But it would be kind of a weird choice.â
âOh, so me shirtless is weird?â
Cool fingers meet the comparatively hot skin of your backâwhere everything is still sensitive because the wound wreaked havoc on your nerves there. You flinch slightly.Â
âSorry,â he murmurs gently. Though his touch is so incredibly light it doesnât really hurtâit hurts much less than when youâre tending to the wound, anyway. Itâs almost soothing. After a moment he continues, a bit louder. âAnd that is not what I was saying. But I am completely comfortable asserting that it would be weird for you to be shirtless at work.â
The gentle touches contrast with his teasing words and serve to disorient you as youâre shaken back in to your usual dynamic. Which is markedly more sarcastic.Â
âWellââ
Before you have to think of something to say, Spencer interrupts you.Â
âYour, umâI think yourâŠÂ brassiereâŠÂ is in the way.â
As soon as he says it you burst out laughing. It echoes through the room.Â
âMy brassiere? Are you actually 70 years old?â
His brows knit even tighter and his face gets very pink very quickly. He canât meet your eyes over your shoulder.Â
âThatâs what itâs called.â
âSpencer, you may be the first person to use that word since 1952. Say bra.â
âI donât want to,â he complains. Your laughter only grows as your head tips back.Â
âWhy? How is brassiere better than bra?â
âItâsâitâs too colloquial! Iâm trying to be professional!â
âCall it a bra or Iâm going to rub my dirty hands all over my back,â you threaten, adopting a poker face so he knows you mean business. His eyes widen immediately.Â
âOh my god! Bra! Do you want to introduce staph and meningitis and gâdo not do that!â
âSee? How hard was that?â
âI hate you,â he mumbles, face still flushed and adorable. âAnd you still have to take it off.â
âExcuse me?â you grin, pretending to be affronted because you know he didnât mean it like that but itâs fun to pretend he did. Fun for you, of course. Not so much for him. He's utterly flustered by this point.
âOr at least undo it! Itâs in the way.â
With a deeply bored sigh, you go to unclasp your braâbut as you go to do it your shirt drops down. You grimace, humor briefly forgotten as the fabric brushes the damaged skin.Â
âI canâtââ
âOkay, justâIâll do it,â Spencer says. âJust move your shirt again.â
So you do, watching his reflection as he works.
And you have not one joke to break the heavy silence with as you feel his knuckles gently pressing into the middle of your back, as he unclasps the bra with his characteristic tenderness and a surprising amount of agility. Itâs quiet except for your pulse in your own ears as he carefully pushes it out of his way, holding it down with a hand to your rib cage and fingertips slipping just under the fabric of your shirtâunintentionally and certainly non-sexual, no doubt, but skimming under your heart in a way that still feels so intimate youâre realizing how touch-starved you are.Â
âYou do that often?â you find yourself asking, because youâre stupid, and you need to cool the tension before it chokes you, and you canât help yourself even though you donât actually want to know the answer.Â
âI,â he begins, voice quiet as rustling paper, tongue darting over his lip and eyes narrowed. The sentence stalls as he focuses on placing the patch just so. âDo not think that is an appropriate workplace question.â
Something aches in the pit of your stomach.Â
Something resembling jealousy.Â
It was not the timid evasive linguistic maneuver of someone who is insecure about the thing theyâre discussing. It was not the awkward fumbling no but I donât want to tell you that which you were expecting from Spencer Reid.Â
Nor is it an easy yesâan admission between friends. He doesnât want to tell you.Â
You swallow and try to act like yourself.Â
âYet here you are, in the womanâs restroom at our place of employment, undoing my bra. I think weâre past professionalism.â
âWhen you decontextualize it like that it sounds like something itâs not. This is professional, because Iâm helping you with a wound you sustained on the job. Iâm being a good colleague.â
Your lips twist into a smile he canât see.Â
âA great colleague would kiss it better.â
âIt's almost like you want me to file a sexual harassment complaint with HR," he says through a little smirk as he smooths the bandage over. Before you can snip back, he steamrolls over his own teasingâyouâve both been speaking in almost reverent tones since he started but his voice loses the sarcastic edge from a second before and reverts back to concerned and sweet. âDoes that feel okay?â
You rotate your shoulders best you can without letting go of your shirt or flashing the good doctor to check if it feels secure. Â
âItâs good. And heyâif I were going to sexually harass you I would do a lot better than that. You think thatâs my best material? Thatâs just the tip of the iceberg. I keep so many inappropriate comments to myself. Youâd be shocked by some of the things I have almost said to you.â
He laughs, secures the band of your bra and begins fitting it to the clasp youâd had it onâand at that precise moment Emily walks in.Â
âHâwoah.â
âItâsâIâmâI was helping her!â Spencer panics, immediately removing his hands from you like his palms are burning and holding them up defensively.Â
âOh, you helped me alright,â you tease, pulling your shirt back into place.Â
âDonât say it like that!â And then, to Emily, âI was changing out her bandage!â
âChanging my bandage,â you emphasize, winking more than is advisable.Â
âThatâsâthis is a hostile work environment! I feel unsafe!â Spencer almost yells, half laughs, as he scampers towards the door. âIâm going to HR!â
âShut up! You love it!â
His laughter audibly travels farther away for several moments as he presumably goes back down the hallway to do his actual job.Â
You have the stupidest grin on your face, but you wipe it off when you notice Emily staring.Â
âWhat?â
âNothing,â she says, shaking her head and looking away, moving toward a stall. âYouâre just⊠you guys are funny.â
âWhat do you mean funny?â You demand, standing right outside her stall as she closes it.Â
âWhâI mean funny! Are you going to listen to me pee, you weirdo?â
You frown.Â
She makes a good point.Â
Unfortunately, giving Hotch a more detailed statement is just as bad as youâd thought itâd be. Despite how cheery youâve tried to remain about the whole situation, despite the way you insisted that the wound was so shallow you didnât need more than a few days off work, despite the jokes you make about forgetting itâs even there because itâs on your backâitâs hard not to remember exactly how the glass felt twisting under your skin, how youâd felt suddenly so hot and lightheaded and sick to your stomach and the way Morgan hollered because he didnât know how deep it had gone after you crumpled quick from shock, when youâre asked to describe it all in excruciating detail.Â
It only takes ten minutes, but they seem to drag on and on and by the time youâre leaving Hotchâs office you feel utterly drained. You hurry back to your desk, covertly wiping away moisture that you refuse to allow to become tears. Once seated, and having dodged sympathetic looks and avoided any do you want to talk about its, you allow yourself a few deep breaths with your eyes shut.Â
When you open them, you realize thereâs a fresh cup of your favorite tea on your desk, in the Snoopy mug the team is always fighting over. Now his little black nose is covered by a square of yellow paper. Youâre already smiling as you peel away the sticky note and hold it closer.Â
On it is an adorably odd smiley-face, and a note in familiar, messy looping scrawl.Â
I would never report you to HR beautiful
That would be a stab in the back!
You snort loudly and clap a hand to your mouthâbut youâve already drawn the attention of almost everyone in the bullpen.Â
When you turn to look at Spencer, heâs not looking back. Instead, his eyes are firmly trained on his computer screen. But heâs got his chin propped on his fist over the desk, and his knuckles are doing a poor job of concealing a giant self satisfied grin. He is the only person on the team who knows you well enough to make such a distasteful joke. And he also knows you well enough to know that it would make you feel so much better after your meeting with Hotch than all the well-meaning sincerity in the world ever could.
Funny.Â
Maybe that is the right word for what you two are.Â
youâre not his girlfriend, but âŠ
You're not his girlfriend, but you're the first person to listen to his ramblings. The first time he realizes, he notices he's been talking for too long without taking a breath, and you're still paying attention to what he's saying. Microbiology. You know nothing about the subject, asking him to clarify stuff while he talks. He's surprised because everyone always stops him.
You're not his girlfriend, but he knows your coffee orders. They're all disgustingly sweet, as the teams point out, but he knows what to get depending on the day. No matter how urgent the briefing is, he goes out of his way to stop at your favorite coffee shop. Every day, you're greeted with a fresh cup of coffee and a smile.
You're not his girlfriend, but he comforts you after emotionally hard cases. You often find yourself in his arms after wrapping up the cases, resting your head against his chest, allowing him to stroke your hair. He'll spend the flight next to you, his pinky resting on your arm as a way to ground you without the rest of the team exchanging glances.
You're not his girlfriend, but you don't leave his side when he gets shot on the field. You hold his hand as the paramedics carry him in the ambulance, and you only let go when they take him into surgery. He wakes with you by his side, his fingers immediately intertwining with yours before he's even fully awake. You smile and tell him he's an idiot for taking that bullet for you. He replies back with a smile and a, "Better for me to be injured than you."
You're not his girlfriend, but he makes sure you're paired up on cases. He goes to shooting practices to prove to Hotch he can be on the field with you, to prove that he can protect you. He does the stuff you don't want to, mostly readings you don't want to spend hours on or bagging up a used condom from the toilet.
You're not his girlfriend, but you go to every nerdy event with him. Whether it's a Spock convention or some nature documentary showing, you're there by his side. No longer does he find the seats next to him empty. Instead, when he looks over, he sees you and smiles, because now he's not alone.
You're not his girlfriend, but his mom thinks you are. When you spend a few days in Las Vegas for a case, you visit his mom with him, meeting her for the first time. She greets you, smiling coyly at her son, asking you if you like dating her son. He spends the next few minutes trying to convince her you're just friends. And the rest of the month trying to convince himself.
You're not his girlfriend, but he kills the man holding you hostage. He's the first to notice you gone, and he's the first to burst through the door, gun out. He doesn't bother talking to the unsub, doesn't bother descaling the situation, doesn't bother to wait for the rest of the team to enter before delivering a bullet through the man's head. He doesn't bother stepping over the body before he unties you and takes you in his arms.
You're not his girlfriend, but he covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep. He turns the TV off, placing a pillow under your head softly, making sure you don't wake up with a sore neck. He strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, longing in his eyes as he watches you breathe.
You're not his girlfriend, but he wishes you were.
à»đș. GOOEY CâCK đ»đïŒđâŻđâŽđ đžđ¶đâŻđ·.
â§ tws : nsfw/smut, fem!reader, multiple of rounds, tentacles, implied dubcon, creampie, spanking, nipple play, monster fĆ«cking, petnames (pipsqueak, baby, etc.), caleb calls himself gege once, spanking, cĆckwarming, doggy style and body worship.
â§ synopsis : You always knew something was off about Caleb his eyes bright in the dark, his touch too hot to be normal. After a mission goes wrong and youâre stuck alone with him, the truth comes out. Heâs not just Caleb.Something inside him is possessive and starving. You try to escape, but his tentacles wrap around your waist, holding you tight as he finally shows you what he really is. âDonât be scared,â he says. âHe just wants what I wantâŠâ
The air inside the ruin was too still. Too quiet. You shouldâve known something was wrong the second the scanner shorted out, static hissing into your earpiece before dying completely. You and Caleb were separated from the others, but he didnât seem worriedâjust stared ahead, purple eyes glinting in the dark, too calm for comfort.
âCalebâŠ?â you whispered, clutching your comm. âThis place gives me the creepsâŠâ
He didnât answer right away. Just tilted his head, lips twitching in a way that wasnât entirely his.
âAw, donât tell me youâre scared,â he murmured, voice lower, deeper than usual. Then he looked back at you, eyes narrowing, and for a split second, something moved under his skin. Black tendrils rippled up his neck before disappearing.
Your heart jumped. âC-Calebâwhat the hell was that?!â
â...Told you not to follow me this deep,â he muttered. âShouldâve known youâd stick to me like a needy little pipsqueak.â
Your cheeks burned. âYouâre hiding something. Iâm not stupid.â
âNo,â he chuckled darkly, stepping toward you. âBut you are reckless.â Another step. âAnd now that youâre here, wellâŠâ His voice dropped an octave. âWe donât see a reason to let you go.â
Something lashed outâfast. Slick, inky black. A tentacle coiled around your wrist before you could scream.
âCaleb!â you gasped, stumbling back. âLet me goâwhat the fuck is that?!â
But Caleb was changing. His pupils stretched into slits, claws forming where fingers had been. More tentacles slid free from his back, writhing like they had a mind of their own. And stillâstillâhe looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the universe.
âShh,â he said softly, reaching out. His clawed fingers tucked your hair behind your ear. âItâs still me, pipsqueak. Still your gege. But⊠Iâm not alone anymore. And heâs just as obsessed with you as I am.â
A low, alien growl rippled from his chestâand then the other voice came.
âSo soft⊠so tiny⊠we could break youâŠâ
Your legs buckled.
Caleb caught you effortlessly. Smiling. Gentle. Possessive.
âDonât worry,â he purred. âWe wonât hurt you, baby. Not unless you beg us to.â
The tentacles didnât pull hard. Just enough to guide you. To show you he could. Calebâs breath warmed your ear as one slick appendage coiled around your waist, sliding beneath your jacket, tracing your bare skin with a teasing, wet touch.
âSuch a pretty little pipsqueak,â he whispered, voice trembling between his own and the growl of something deeperâdarker. âYou donât even know what you do to meâŠâ
His clawed hands cupped your face gently. Reverently. The monster inside mightâve had a mouth, but Caleb had a heart, and both were laser-focused on you.
You shouldâve been afraid.
Instead⊠you throbbed.
âC-Caleb,â you breathed, thighs clenching. âYouâve been hiding this from me?â
âDidnât want to scare you,â he murmured, kissing your temple. âDidnât think you could handle how badly I wanted to breed you.â
The words hit like a thunderclap. You whimpered, body trembling as another tentacle slid between your legsâpressing against your clothed heat, circling it slowly.
âSo warmâŠâ the parasite hissed. âLet us in.â
You didnât even fight it.
Your clothes were shredded by claws and tendrils in seconds, left in tatters on the cold stone floor as Caleb laid you down gently, hungrily, like you were a gift heâd been starving for.
His mouth found your breasts firstâhot and eager, tongue flicking across your nipples as his hand spanked your ass, hard enough to make you moan.
âCaleb!â you gasped, back arching. âF-fuckâ!â
âThatâs it,â he growled, licking a swollen bud before sucking it between his lips. âSay it again. Let me hear how needy my little pipsqueak is.â
âCaleb, please,â you whimpered. âNeed you insideâneed it so badââ
You didnât have to beg long. One thick tentacle curled around your ankle, spreading your legs wide as Caleb knelt between them. His cockâlarger now, veined and flushedâthrobbed, slick with dark fluid and twitching at the sight of your soaked cunt.
âYouâre already dripping,â he rasped. âYou want it raw, baby? Want me to stuff you full until it leaks out?â
âY-Yesâyes, pleaseââ
He didnât just slide inâhe invaded you. One long, slow thrust that left you breathless, stretched, filled to the brim as your eyes rolled back and your hips lifted to meet him.
âFucking tight,â Caleb hissed, gripping your waist as his hips slammed into you, again and again. âThis pussy was made for me.â
âUs,â the parasite snarled. âBreed her. Fill her. Use her.â
His thrusts grew savageâdeep, precise, obsessed. Your slick echoed off the ruinâs walls, your cries sharp and sweet as your gege took you like an animal.
Spanking your ass with each slap of his hips.
Mouth on your nipples.
Tentacles everywhereâteasing, wrapping, stroking.
You came fastâshaking, screaming, clenching around his cock as he growled in your ear, praising you through clenched teeth.
âGood girl⊠fuck⊠such a perfect little pipsqueak. Let it milk me, baby, thatâs itââ
He didnât pull out. Didnât even try.
Caleb came with a low roar, cock buried deep, thick cum flooding your womb as your legs trembled. One tentacle held you open, letting it drip out slowly, making you squirm as he leaned down to lick your lips.
âIâm not done,â he growled, eyes glowing. âI told you. We want more.â
Round two came before you could speakâCaleb flipping you onto your hands and knees, spanking you again, harder this time.
âYou love doggy, donât you?â he growled. âLetting gege fuck you like the little slut you areâŠâ
You screamed when he pushed back inâso much deeper this way, stretching you wider, one hand fisted in your hair while the other worshipped your body, tracing your curves, massaging your sore, red ass.
âYou look so fucking pretty like this,â he whispered. âUsed. Open. Mine.â
âAll ours.â
Tentacles wrapped around your tits, squeezing, twisting your nipples while Caleb pounded into you from behindâslamming his hips against your ass until you couldnât breathe, couldnât think, couldnât do anything but cum again.
He didnât stop.
Three times. Four. He kept going until your pussy was sloppy, filled with so much cum you could feel it dripping down your thighs. Until your legs gave out and you collapsed, shaking, drooling, dumb from pleasure.
And even then⊠he stayed inside.
Wrapped around you. Holding you. Kissing your shoulders while his cock stayed hard, still twitching.
âYouâre gonna cockwarm gege now, pipsqueak,â he whispered sweetly. âLet me feel how warm you are while I take care of you. You were so goodâŠâ
You nodded weakly, face buried in your arms, body broken but blissed out.
âY-your turn next timeâŠâ you slurred.
He chuckled darkly, hugging you tighter as another tentacle stroked your cheek lovingly.
âOh, babyâŠâ
âThere is no next time. Weâre just getting started.â
Your legs were shaking. Muscles limp. Your cunt still full and stuffed with your gegeâs thick cock, twitching deep inside you like it had no intention of leaving.
But even as you whimpered, half-conscious from the last orgasm, Calebâs hands never stopped moving.
They worshipped. Explored. One palm sliding down your belly, spreading the warmth of your overstretched womb, the other dragging along your thigh, where his cum had trickled down and painted your skin with messy, sticky lines.
âSo fullâŠâ the parasite hissed approvingly. âKeep her like this. Breed her again. Let her feel us always.â
âMm, you hear that, pipsqueak?â Caleb murmured, mouth brushing your ear as his hips rolled slowly. âYouâre gonna be so stuffed you wonât know where I end and he begins.â
You whimpered, twitching as he slid out just an inchâthen slammed back in.
âN-Ngh!âCaleb!â
âOh, youâre still sensitive, huh?â he cooed mockingly, voice thick with hunger. âThatâs too bad. I wanna see you cry this time.â
His hips started moving againâslow and deep, pressing right into the swollen spot that made your vision spark. Tentacles snaked around your thighs to spread you wider, one wrapping lazily around your throat, not chokingâjust reminding you who owned you now.
âYouâre taking it so well,â he growled. âSo dumb and full of cock. Just how I like you.â
Your mouth was hanging open, drool on your chin, breasts bouncing as his cock pounded into your soaked hole againâagainâagainâand his tentacles twisted your nipples, tugging, pulling, flicking them until you were crying from the stimulation.
âC-canâtâCaleb, I canâtâ!â
âYes you can,â he snarled. âYouâre my good little cocksleeve, remember? You said so yourself.â
âShe belongs to us now.â
âBreed her again. Break her. Mark her inside.â
He spanked you hardâtwiceâthree times, watching your ass jiggle from the force before grabbing both cheeks and spreading them to watch his cock disappear inside you, glistening with your slick and cum.
You came again. Didnât even realize you had until your body locked up and your vision went white, cunt spasming around him so tight he moaned through his teeth.
âF-fuckâfuck, baby, gonna cum againââ
He slammed in deepâone final thrustâand flooded you all over again. You felt it hot and thick, spurting into your womb as your whole body trembled, clenching down, milking every drop.
But he didnât pull out.
Didnât even slow down.
âCalebâpleaseâtoo muchââ you sobbed, legs kicking weakly as he kept thrusting, slow and heavy.
âShh,â he whispered, kissing your back. âYou said you wanted it all, didnât you?â
His tentacles wrapped around your waist and pulled you back into a new positionâstraddling his lap now, his cock still inside, his arms wrapped around you from behind while his mouth suckled on your bruised, sensitive nipples.
âNow youâre gonna ride me,â he growled. âBe a good girl. Bounce on gegeâs cock like itâs the only thing keeping your brain from melting.â
Your body obeyed before your brain could even catch upâhips rolling, ass bouncing, cunt squelching with every desperate grind down onto him. You didnât even care if it hurt anymore. You just needed to feel full.
Needed him.
Needed them.
âGood girl⊠just like thatâŠâ
âYou were made for us.â
You were cumming again. Didnât even say anythingâjust sobbed and clung to his arms, drool slipping down your chin as your pussy clamped down again.
And then he stopped moving.
Just held you there. Cockwarming you like a living plug, stroking your hair while your body twitched helplessly in his lap.
âYouâre gonna fall asleep with my cock inside you tonight,â Caleb whispered against your neck. âAnd when you wake upâŠâ
He bit down lightly on your skinâthen licked the mark.
ââŠweâre gonna do it all over again.â
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Ace: You did not justâ *wheeze*
Epel: Seriouslyâ *also laughing*âWhat possessed you to do that?
MC: *made a shout-out for Jack on a radio station* ...
Ace: What did you say again? I think it went like this. *clears throat*
Ace: "Hey, hey, hey! To that goodest boy from Shaftlands, Jack Howl â Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's to you!"
Ace and Epel: *cackles*
MC: Did I really say that?
Jack, Leona, and Ruggie: ...
Leona: To the goodest boy fromâ
Jack: Stop!
Ruggie: *laughs* Aww, Jack~ There's someone who appreciates you a lot.
Leona: Good thing Ruggie has a radio or else we have missed that.
Jack: *blushing from embarrassment*
no he has a pointđđ¶ââïž
Cater: so if âkâ is short for âokâ and sometimes you call your grandpa âpop,â then âk-popâ equals âok boomerâ.
Everyone in NRC: *crying* please stop itâs 3 am