If I Cry You Cry With Me Too

This is soooo cute I am going to puke rainbows and confetti

The Black Brothers

(I’m writing fluff of them because I can’t find any. Oh and of course there will be angst, but angst with a good ending. Lots of comfort💗)

Regulus listened to the pouring rain that hit the windows of the tower. How the fuck did he get himself into this? Sirius was an asshole, he had abandoned Regulus, when he made friends with potter that is, right…? But now he was laying down in Sirius’ cozy Gryffindor bed, with a heating charm over him. Sirius silently putting homework in his bag, after giving up trying to do it. They weren’t saying a word to each other, Sirius occasionally muttering to himself. Sirius had said he had wanted to talk to him about something important, that’s why he had searched for Regulus, he had found him, in the bloody lake! Regulus had felt a sort of stability, not because of the water, but because he was alone. Well, until Sirius came. Sirius had found him and said he had wanted to talk with him, Regulus snapped at him. Sirius convinced Regulus to come out of the water, as he did so, Sirius took his cloak off, putting his own Gryffindor cloak on him. Since his cloak was soaking wet from the water, not to mention his entire uniform.

Because of how the cold was effecting him, Regulus had lost balance, his knees buckling, Sirius caught him, and even though Regulus tried to resist, Sirius had picked him up and settled him into his arms like a child. Like how it used to be… Sirius had refused to leave Regulus alone, he was confused. Regulus and Sirius weren’t close friendly brothers anymore, and he thought Sirius hated him, but he was second guessing now. Because Sirius had given him clean warm clothes, a bed, warmth, food, water, he had gave him hospitality and shelter when he had denied it.

Regulus needed to get better, apparently the coldness of the lake was quite dangerous, it had really affected Regulus. And Sirius just willingly took him in…why? Did he still- well..- care….? Regulus had been snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Sirius pull his blanket down slightly. He lightly shivered, even while being under a heating charm. Regulus locked eyes with Sirius. “Why…are you doing this..?” Sirius went back to doing whatever he was doing, probably examining his body for anything he would have to worry about. “Doing what?” Regulus let out a deep breath, when he spoke he didn’t expect his voice to be broken and wet with sadness, tears he didn’t know he was holding falling down his face. “Why….why..are you taking care of me…you hate me, so why.” Sirius stopped examining Regulus’ body, instead looking at him. “Tell me why, I would hate you, Reggie. Why would you ever think I hated you.?” Regulus let out another shaky breath, before going on about all the reasons why he would hate him, why he SHOULD hate him.. “Regulus, I would never hate you, I need you to understand that, alright? I’m sorry for…everything. Everything I’ve done, I’m a horrible brother….I’m so sorry, Reg..” Sirius was sitting on the bed now, crying as well. “I’m sorry for not paying any attention to you, making you feel like the second choice, never being even a decent human being towards you…” Sirius shook with sobs, Regulus was staring wide eyed at his brother, crying as well. He rarely saw his brother vulnerable, he always put on the strongest brightest face. Sirius seemed to choke on his sobs. “Fuck, I’m SO sorry, Regulus..” In one quick motion, Regulus embraced his brother, crying into his shoulder. “Stop it..” he had barely managed to mutter that out..

It was not even twenty minutes later, when the rest of the marauders had rushed back into the Gryffindor boy dorms, very concerned by why there best friend hadn’t been at dinner. Only to find him, fast asleep in his bed, cuddling- wait..his brother? Everyone thought they hated each other…But they didn’t do or say anything about it, just got ready for bed like usual, and fell asleep. Sirius peeked his eyes open after a bit, he almost thought his little brother would be gone when he opened his eyes, but he was still there, in his arms, head buried in his chest. He was so indescribably happy to have his little brother back. He started humming, humming a song only him and Regulus knew. And eventually, he fell asleep again, and apparently Regulus did too, even if Sirius hadn’t known he was awake at all.

I hope this wasn’t a waste of your time, I know it’s badly written, please just give me a break about it, I’ll try to get better at writing💗 I’ll try to write something more detailed and less cringe soon🫶

GGSB Fest 2024 - The Honor of a Name

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

Prompt Harry's kids

Harry worries about being a parent, but Sirius is there to support him as a good godfather and an even better grandfather.

AO3

***

Harry had been a nervous wreck throughout the pregnancy, even though he wasn’t the one pregnant.  His wife, Luna, assured him that they would be good parents, even if they hadn’t quite been raised by good parents.  Yes, Luna had her father around, but he was … not the greatest, loving though.  Harry technically raised by the Dursleys (who sucked), with some support by Sirius but between being on the run and dying and coming back later… well, there wasn’t consistent parenting.  

At least he’s trying now.

Throughout Harry’s many, many nights of waking him up and telling him about how he couldn’t do this.  He hadn’t wanted to worry Luna because he knew that Sirius would be able to calm him down, but now, she’s in labor and he’s freaking out and he can’t breathe and it’s –

“Hey, I’m here, Harry.”

Harry looks up from where he was sitting outside her room – she said he was freaking her out and he needed to calm down outside.

“Oh, Sirius, thank Merlin – I can’t – I can’t do this.  I’m not ready to be a father!” Harry practically yells, earning looks from the people in the vicinity.  

Sirius sits next to him and puts an arm around his shoulders.  “Listen to me, Kid.  No one ever thinks they’re ready and I get it.  You haven’t had the best examples for parents when you were younger, but – but – you are an incredible young man and you and Luna will make wonderful parents.”

“How can you say that when you don’t know –”

“I do know, though, because I know you and you are an incredible young man that has been through a lot – you manage to adapt to any situation and thrive – the same will be true for this, I promise.”

Harry looks up at him and sees sincerity in his eyes.  “I can’t do it alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Sirius says.  “This baby is going to have two wonderful parents, two grandfathers and a whole bunch of Weasleys to help you out.”

Harry grins and lets out a chuckle.  “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, of course.”

“Now, go in there and keep your wife calm – it’s what she needs from you right now.”

“Of course.”

Harry gives him a hug and says, “You’ll stay?”

“Of course.  Anything for you, kid.”

***

Two hours later, a very tired looking Harry appears in the doorway.  “Would you like to meet my son?”

Sirius grins.  “Naturally.”

He follows Harry into the room, where Luna is looking just as tired, but happy.  She’s holding a little boy that looks remarkedly like Harry – those Potter genes are something special.

“We have someone we’d like you to meet,” Luna says, “Would you like to hold him?”

“Of course, of course.” 

He takes the baby in his arms and can’t help thinking about Harry when he was born.  “He looks just like you, Harry.”

Harry grins.  “And like his grandfather, James.  Who he’s named after.”

“Baby James,” Sirius says, looking up to spare them a smile.  “I love it.”

“You’ll love his middle name even more,” Luna says.  “Harry, would you like to…”

Harry clears his throat nervously, causing Sirius look up.  

“We’d like to name him after you – James Sirius Potter,” Harry says, looking at him hopefully.  

“Oh… oh, Harry… Luna… really?” Sirius says stuttering.  “That’s such an honor…”

“An honor that you deserve.”

Sirius looks down at the baby in his arms, and smiles, nodding.  “Thank you.  I only hope that I continue to do the honor right.”

“You will.”

***

James Sirius Potter is the light of all of their lives, and Harry can’t help grinning at seeing Sirius so full of grandfatherly cheerfulness.  It’s a blessing and a curse.  

There’s a part of him that wishes he’d gotten that with Sirius, but he loves what he has with him, too, it’s different, but lovely.

Just as he’s about to call them in for lunch, Luna comes out of the house where she’d been resting.  Heavily pregnant and meant to be on bed rest, Harry immediately worries, “Is something wrong?”

“I am in labor,” Luna groans.  

Harry nods.  “Better get you to the hospital,” she nods and wobbles away to the car.  “Sirius!”

Sirius turns at the yell and can immediately see the stress on Harry’s face.

“Luna’s in labor, will you –”

“Take care of my grandson?  Yes.”

Harry lets out a relieved breath.  “Thanks.”

“Just worry about your wife, I’ve got everything handled here.”

“You’re the best,” Harry says before disappearing after his wife.  

Time to have another baby.

***

Sirius is grinning as he holds three-year-old James in his arms, and looking at the happy, yet exhausted Harry and Luna.  

The pink bundle in Harry’s arms looking remarkedly like Luna.  

“So, what’s this one’s name?”

“Lily Pandora Potter,” Harry says, grinning.  “We weren’t sure which should go first, but Luna insisted.  

Sirius smiles.  “She’s beautiful.”

“But she’s early, so she and Luna are going to have to stay a few days, would you mind…”

“Watching my favorite grandson – I can say that, ‘cause I only have one – while you’re gone?  Not at all.” Sirius states before turning to James in his arms.  “Jamie and I will have all sorts of fun, right, Jamie?”

“Yeah!”

“There you have it,” Sirius states.  He reaches out his free arm to squeeze Harry’s shoulder.  “I got this; you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

***

Harry smiles as he sits beside Sirius in his backyard a few years later.  Sirius had been a delightful godsend.  Always there with advice, willing to listening about Harry’s woes, or just to give Harry (and Luna) a break – the perfect grandparent. 

“You’ve done well with them, you know,” Sirius offers as he watches Luna chasing them around.  “In a few years, they’ll be off at Hogwarts, and everything will be great.”

“Everything is great – partially thanks to you,” Harry says, smiling.  “Best grandfather ever.”

Sirius grins.  “Thanks, kiddo.”

“Anytime.”

dude do tag me!

I just saw this on pintrest and everyone should know about this

(Not mine btw)

c'mon Ill be walburga for you

Lets give the tumblr people a good laugh then shall we?

Walburga: so… you’re still gay, then?

Sirius: no, actually I forgot to pay my Gay Bill this month so they cut me off.

Anything for marshmallows, and chocolates and chips and s ' mores!

sirius and regulus are eavesdropping on their parents while they’re discussing politics, and are texting each other whatever they hear.

sirius: did she just say that voldy’s going to enforce a marshmallow?

regulus: a martial law, you gormless git.

k sure

Walburga: so… you’re still gay, then?

Sirius: no, actually I forgot to pay my Gay Bill this month so they cut me off.

Harry Potter the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower.... Sounds great to me! What do u think?

GGSB Fest 2024 - A Changed Ball

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

After the first task, Sirius reaches out to Harry to offer dating advice for the Yule Ball, which changes things.

AO3

***

Given that the first task is finally over, and Harry survived, Sirius can breathe a little sigh of relief.  At least one task down, and the fact that he did so well makes Sirius incredibly proud.  Next on the order of business for Harry is probably the Yule Ball.  Since he’s a champion he’s probably going to have to open it, and it may be a bit presumptuous, but Sirius couldn’t resist offering dating advice to his godson.  He figures he’s young and he doubts the Dursleys would bother to offer much guidance.  

Hopefully, Harry doesn’t really need too much, but Sirius had to offer just in case.

Sirius smiles when he gets another owl so quickly, Harry writing to him will always make his day.

Sirius,

What do you mean there’s a ball for Yule?  What do you mean that I have to open the ball?  

No, no – they can’t really expect that from me, right?

You’re pulling my leg, right?  Please tell me you’re pulling my leg.

If not, I need help.

Say hi to Buckbeak.

Harry

Sirius is stunned for half a second.  How had Harry not known about this?  Then, again, no one appears to tell the kid anything.  

Alright, well, at least Sirius was right to offer.  He’ll just have to meet with his kid on his own and give some concrete advice.  

Everything will be okay.  He’s sure of it.

***

“I still don’t get how they could expect this of me,” Harry groans as he sits on the floor of the cave beside Sirius.  “I mean – dragons are one thing, but girls?”

Sirius laughs.  “They’re not as scary as you think.”

“They travel in packs, and they giggle like … like my mere presence is hilarious.”

“They’re giggling because one or more of them have a fancy of you – hard not to given everything, and they travel together because … well, I never really understood that.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Harry questions, seeming quite freaked out.  “You were right, McGonagall says I have to open the ball with a date, and it’s only been like a day and a half, and every girl has gone nutty and I don’t know how to dance and I don’t want to go on a date… this is – this is unfair.”

“And the whole dragon thing wasn’t unfair?”

“The dragon thing was actually kind of fun.”

Sirius snorts and rolls his eyes.  “Alright, let’s start with the basics.  First, you have to select who you’re thinking of asking.  I would suggest someone you either fancy and want to get to know – but know there will be awkwardness and you’ll have to push passed that or a friend that you could potentially enjoy an evening with.  You could perhaps go with a friend that is someone you may possibly fancy or go with a friend that is someone who would only be a friend, but you’d have to be clear about that.  Do you have any ideas?”

He watches as Harry digests this information and says, “Well, I could go with Hermione if I wanted just a friend, but I think that would upset Ron and frankly, be unfair to her.  I’d really like to go with Cho Chang – I kind of, maybe, have a fancy of her, but all I know about her is that we’re both seekers.  I suppose another friend could be like Parvati Patil or maybe Katie Bell.  I’ve talked to both enough that maybe it could be… a friend date.”

Sirius nods.  “Okay, let’s leave Hermione out of it.  We wouldn’t want to disrupt your friendship with Ron again so soon.”

“Agreed.”

“That leaves Cho, Parvati, and Katie.  Now, this is where you have to make a decision – do you want someone that you barely know, but fancy or you know, but don’t fancy?”

Harry shrugs.  “I mean – it would be nice to get to know Cho better.”

“Okay, that’s fair.  You’ll have the dinner and dancing to get to know her, if you ask her,” Sirius states.  “Now, before asking, you should make it clear that you’re not that into dancing, but if you ask any of them to go, you should expect to dance more than just the opening dance.”

He groans.  “It’s bad enough having to do it once.”

Sirius nods.  “Yes, but you’re going to a ball.  It’s expected that you dance.  If you don’t want to dance too much, you should make that clear so that they don’t expect to be dancing all night and are disappointed.”

“Okay, but what if I tell them and they say no?”

“Then you have to accept no for an answer and find someone else who would be willing to support you.”

Harry nods.  “I suppose that I should try and learn dancing then?”

“That would be a good endeavor.  I’d suggest asking someone you’re comfortable with to practice or your date would be better, but it could be embarrassing admitting that, so you could always Hermione or one of the quidditch girls who would no doubt love to help you.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Harry states.  “What about the actual asking?  If they’re traveling in packs…”

Sirius laughs.  “They may giggle, but simply ask for a moment alone and once you’re alone, tell them either – that you’d like a romantic date to the ball or a friend date to the ball – depending on who you ask.  Explain about the dancing to help them make a decision, and once they do – if it’s yes, ask them to meet up to practice dancing or if it’s no, accept their answers and move on.  Just be sweet and polite and you’ll be okay.”

“That sounds easier than it’s probably going to be.”

“It’s usually not that bad, I promise.  Maybe a little embarrassing, but the sooner you do it, the better,” Sirius assures him.  “Then you can focus on the actual date.”

Harry grimaces.  “Besides dancing, what would be expected?”

“Well, you should meet her at her common room probably with a nice flower – try asking her favorite or finding one that matches her dress robes.”  

Harry nods.  “Sounds easy.”

“You should offer your arm, and smile as you lead the way into the ball and take out her seat first before you sit.  At dinner, make sure you talk to her about her interests.  Start with something you have in common and let the conversation flow.  If it stalls, try to ask about things that are around you – the food, the music, the dancing, the people… anything that can spark something.  Remind her about being uncomfortable with too much dancing, but that you’ll make an effort.”

“Okay, okay.  Seems like genuinely good advice so far,” Harry says.  “Then, of course, the dancing.  I suppose if we practice before it might not be so bad.”

“I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you’re imagining,” Sirius assures him.  “Make sure to still pay attention to her as you dance, and if need be, make light conversation.  If you’re done dancing or taking a break, try finding a quiet area to continue chatting from dinner.  Don’t ignore her and even if it ends up being Parvati or Katie rather than who you fancy, remember that you can’t just glare at your fancy’s date – just focus on your own date.”

“Yeah, that – that wouldn’t be fair to her if I was staring at some other girl.”

“Exactly.  The focus should be on making sure that you’re both having a good time.”

“Okay.  Okay.  What about at the end?”

“Walk her back to her dorm, tell her you had a great time – if you fancy her (and this could go for if the date started as a friend, but you find you do like her) – then ask her to have another date.  This could be something simple and we can talk about that when the time comes in a letter.  Just maybe vaguely ask if she’d like to go out again.  If she says yes, tell her that you’ll let her know a time and place, if she says no – respect it and thank her for being your date and that you hope she enjoyed it.”

“And… then leave?”

Sirius tries not to laugh.  “Well, she might expect a kiss on the hand, the cheek or even the lips.  It all depends on the vibe, just go with your instincts on that one.”

Harry swallows, but nods.  “I guess.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Sirius attempts to assure him.  “Just take it one step at a time.  You’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure…”

“I am, I promise.”

***

A few weeks later, Sirius knows that Harry’s managed to ask Cho to the ball.  He’s nervous, but he’s been preparing for the ball, and Sirius has assured him that it should be just fine.  He just needs to relax and not worry so much.  

He also told him to write to him afterwards no matter the outcome.  He wants to know how well his advice went over.

He grins when the owl arrives.

Sirius,

Thank you – thank you – thank you!  Your advice was perfect.  

Cho and I had a great date.  We practically danced the night away!  Okay, maybe not.  She was okay with only dancing half the time, but we went for a walk and – and it went so great that she kissed me before the end of the night!  

There was plenty of kissing before a final dance and walking her back to the dorm.  It went so well she said yes to a second date.  

So, now, I need advice on that.  Got any ideas?

Thanks again,

Harry

Sirius grins, happy for his kid.  He’s happy to offer more dating advice as long as his kid needs it.  

He’ll certainly be a ladies’ man after this.

Just like his father and godfather and it’s great.  

GGSB Fest 2024 - Perfect First Day

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

Prompt - First Day of School

Sirius isn't ready for Harry's first day of primary school, but it turns out it's perfect.

AO3

***

Despite the fact that Sirius had gotten to spend the last few years as a stay-at-home parent and knew that this time was coming, he’s still sad even as he packs Harry’s bag for his first day of school.  They had gone shopping the day before to make sure he had all of his school supplies.  He’d picked out a nice outfit for the first, and once he’s packed, it’ll be time to tuck Harry in and before he knows it – they’ll be at the school… for Harry’s first day.

“Pads?” the small voice of his godson says from the top of the stairs.  

“I’ll be up in a minute to help tuck you in, just change into your pajamas.”

“Okay!”

It only takes a few more minutes before he steels himself and goes upstairs.  Tonight was the last night before everything would begin to change.

“Ready for bed, kiddo?” Sirius asks, a smile – only slightly forced – on his face.  He has no idea what he’s going to do without his kid for hours every day.  

“Yeah!” Harry cheers.

“What kind of bedtime story are you looking for tonight?” Sirius questions.

“Will you tell me about your first day of school?” 

Sirius let's out a little laugh as he sits beside Harry’s bed.  “Well, your dad and I didn’t go to primary school – only Hogwarts, and I’ve told you about meeting your mum and dad on the train ride to school, but your mum did go to primary school.”

“Will you tell me about her first day, then?”

Sirius hums.  “Well, she always liked to say that she met her best muggle friend on the first of school.  She had sat in the wrong seat and another classmate of hers had said that it was her seat – they were arguing as much as five-year-olds can argue and it turns out her name was Lila and with your mum’s name as Lily – they were so close it was easily mistaken.  The teacher thought they should separate the girls, but they became friends instead.”

Harry’s looking at him like that wasn’t much of story – which makes sense, his own story about meeting on the train and James pulling an imaginary sword had been far more entertaining.  

“Do you think I’ll make a friend like mum did?” Harry asks, eyes wide like he’s worried about that.

Sirius smiles softly at him.  “I’m sure you will, but not if you’re grouchy from lack of sleep.  So, get some sleep – big day tomorrow.”

Harry pouts a bit before he yawns.  “Night, Pads.”

“Night, kid.”

***

In the morning, Sirius packs Harry’s lunch before helping him with his backpack and taking him by the hand to walk him to the school down the street.  His kid is happily chattering on and on about what school might be like and not at all noticing that Sirius isn’t nearly as ready for this as he pretends to be.  

He knows that this is what Lily (and James) would’ve wanted, but after so long of never being away from one another, Sirius can’t help freaking out a bit.  

He’s just not ready for this – Harry’s not ready for this – maybe … maybe it would be better to hold him back a year … or homeschool him…

But they reach the school before Sirius knows it and he’s … disappointed.

He’s not ready for this.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t matter as they enter the school and Harry happily finds his classroom rather quickly for his age.  The teacher greets Harry and says, “Mr. Potter, please go ahead and help Harry find his desk – you can stay until class starts.”

“Thank you,” Sirius says.  He doesn’t correct her.  James’ parents had practically adopted him, and he hates the Black name, so when they moved, he simply decided to go by Potter, made things easier. 

He helps Harry find his desk next to a little boy, whose name plate reads Dean Thomas, and he smiles at the mother beside him.  

“Look Dean, here’s your deskmate,” the mother says.  “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

The little boy – Dean – smiles and introduces himself, and Harry smiles and does the same after a quick nod from Sirius.  

Then, in his excitement once Dean shows him what he’d been drawing, Harry turns to him and says, “Look, Paddy, I made a friend.”

Sirius barely stifles his laugh as he says, “You sure did.”

Before anything else could be said, the teacher calls for last goodbyes and he hugs Harry tight, like he doesn’t want to let him go, and barely contains his desire to cry.  Another parent – not Dean’s mother – says, “Don’t worry, the day will go by faster than you think.”

Sirius nods, and let's go, telling Harry to be good and learn lots before following the other parents outside the classroom.  The one that had spoken to him, introduces himself as Holly’s father, and says, “First one?”

“And only,” Sirius says.  “He’s technically my godson/nephew.  I won’t have kids of my own, but I’ve been raising him since we lost his parents.  I was a stay-at-home parent and now… well, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Holly’s father gives him a small smile as they leave with Dean’s mother.  “Well, I’ve got a small shop that works on motor vehicles.  You know anything about that?”

Sirius grins.  “I built my motorbike from scratch.  I love motor vehicles.”

“Maybe we could go out to eat and talk about it?”

“I’d like that.”  

“Then, let’s go.”

***

Sirius could admit that he rather liked Holly’s father and Dean’s mother (who had come along as well, purely because she also expressed an interest).  Their outing had helped pass the day (which did go quickly) before they arrived to pick up their kids.  

As soon as he sees Sirius, Harry takes off at a run and straight into a waiting Sirius’ arms.  He’s already babbling about his day and his new friends Holly and Dean.  

“I made new friends, too,” Sirius teases, gesturing at Holly’s father and Dean’s mother.  The adults laugh, but Harry cheers and it’s wonderful.  

Holly’s father claps him on the shoulder and Dean’s mother smiles.  “I’ll see you both tomorrow?”

“We’ll be here.”

“Good.”

With that, they all wave goodbye and start to head home.  

Harry reiterates his entire day all happy and excited and honestly, there’s nothing better than this. 

He’s so thrilled that it’s all worked out – they’re both happy and they’re off to brighter future. 

The perfect first day of school.

exactly! Why would you hate on my poor dear !?

I’ve never personally interacted with anyone in the marauders fandom who hated Sirius. The fact that some people allegedly do is completely baffling…

If you people do exist (do you? Do you really?) can you drop into my inbox anon if you want, and explain why????

From a confused and bewildered Sirius fan

*screams* silently cuz yk sitting with a very anti harry potter family

Something He Never Got To Say Before

for @impishtubist 's prompt here ; it's not wolfstar raising Harry, but close! hope you like it ! words: 955 summary: Harry wants to call Sirius ‘dad’. [Set in the summer after PoA, Peter’s caught, Sirius is free and raising Harry the best he can.]

It frustrates Harry how it fits so perfectly. Sirius is spelled soft and warm on his tongue but dad—it’s tender and something Harry’s never got to say before and homey and it makes his cheek hurt with a smile. Harry loves how it sounds.

But he isn’t meant for it.

Harry stares at the words.

Oh, and I’m sure my dad will~

That’s where they end, the curved end of the l smudged into a waving, blotted line; Harry’s quill had jerked with the realisation of what he’d written.

Dad.

He stares, biting his lip, heart starting to pound in his chest. Sirius, he means. But.

Sirius isn't his dad. Harry doesn't have a dad.

It shouldn't hurt as much as it does.

Sirius changed his whole life. He bought Harry a home, now gives him a life that is a thousand times less miserable and more exciting than his previous one—it is love filled and brimming with smiles and soft touches (instead of shrieking and pan-throwing and knee-scraping heart-wrenching hurt) and Sirius buys him candies and ice creams (the very best ones) and takes him to carnivals and teaches him about Holi and Diwali and tells him stories about his parents. Sirius ruffles his hair and watches the telly with him and tells Harry: I love you, kid.

You're the best, Harry.

It's enough. It should be.

It is, in a way. Harry is more than grateful, beyond it really, for all that Sirius has done—he’s done so much for him in a mere twenty days than the Dursleys ever did for him in all of Harry’s thirteen years.

And yet, he finds himself wanting more.

His lips taste of blood as he scrapes back his chair to throw the crumpled parchment into the bin.

-

He is four (but he doesn't know it then) when he, looking at Petunia's long pale hair and Dudley's very blue eyes (handsome, Petunia always says), asks: “Are you my mum?”

It's a question that's been troubling him, after that Incident at the grocer's, whizzing around in his mind and buzzing right next to his ears and crawling over his fingers ever since.

Petunia turns with a crack of her neck, her face pinching and scrunching. “Where did you get that idea from?”

“That woman at the—”

“I am not,” she cuts in, sharply. Then she shudders. “I'm not your mother and never will be, you understand? I would never want you as my son, you freak of a child.”

Harry fights back tears.

“Who is, then?” he whispers.

“You don't have a mother, you idiot.”

One of the words he learns that day is orphan.

-

It frustrates Harry how it fits so perfectly. Sirius is spelled soft and warm on his tongue but dad—it’s tender and something Harry’s never got to say before and homey and it makes his cheek hurt with a smile. Harry loves how it sounds.

But he isn’t meant for it. It’s how it is. Like how he will never have his parents back. How the sky is blue. It’s how it will be.

Yet. There’s a childish part of Harry that hopes so badly, hopes with all of his snitch-sized heart and rule-defying soul that Sirius accepts him and calls him ‘son’ and —

Maybe he should write a letter to Hermione. Or Ron. They’re good at family stuff, especially Ron. Harry wonders what his best friend would say if he asked: ‘Mate, what do you do when you feel like calling your godfather ‘dad’?

He probably wouldn’t know, nor Hermione, Harry thinks, chewing his morsel for far longer than he should, staring at his plate.

The thing is, the real thing that is behind it all, that Sirius is really, when you think of it for a good while, the perfect picture for the word ‘dad’. He’s the synonym of dad, really, and Harry’s sure that if he said it to whoever wrote dictionaries, the writer would most definitely agree and immediately jot it down next to ‘dad’ and congratulate him immensely for the insight. (In his mind, he looks like Cornelius Fudge.)

And that is why, when Sirius asks Harry in his gentle voice, eyes grey and kind, if something is wrong (because Harry has been quiet throughout dinner and Sirius is sure the curry tastes alright and there’s nothing wrong Sirius has said and he’s wracking his brain if today is a date kids should be morose on but he can’t handle Harry looking so sadly at his plate, like it’s broken his heart or something) that Harry blurts, “Can I call you dad?”

Sirius blinks.

His spoon clatters on the plate.

Harry’s mouth parts as he realises what he’s said and he inhales a sharp, stuttering breath.

Way to go there, Potter. “Er—I mean…”

He doesn’t know what he means except what he said and he knows that he shouldn’t have said it and there’s an expression (shock? surprise? dread?) drenching Sirius’ face and he needs to look away and down at his plate.

Shame burns in his throat, flaming his face and his heart twists.

Harry says, “I meant…” He has no idea what he can say that would rectify this situation. He stares at his orange-red curry, imagining his face is as red as it.

“Oh, Harry…” Sirius say, voice sounding... strange. He clears his throat. “I—of course you can. If you want to.”

Harry looks up so quickly his vision greys a little. “I can?”

“Yeah, you can.” Sirius’ hand flies to his smooth hair to smoothen it.

“Oh.”

He can’t believe it. Sirius smiles; a smile that makes him think of his parents’ wedding photos, that makes Harry believe in everything, including this.

Harry’s face splits into a wide wide grin. “Um, thank you… Dad!”

Sirius’ smile wobbles. “Come here, kid.” Sirius gets up and raises his arms, inviting Harry for a hug. Harry rushes forward, chair screeching, heart soaring in delight, and burrows himself in the tight hold of his godfather, and—dad.