Travesty: The Anime Only Let Saiki Keep His Sweater Paws For One Scene This Episode

In my head, Damian is an iPad kid. He’s always playing some type of game on his phone or iPad. Anytime he’s out of the manor for something other than patrol or school he’s probably at the arcade trying to beat his high score on various games.

-

Damian, playing block blast on his phone in the Batmobile as robin in the backseat.

Batman, looking back at him through the rearview mirror: Robin… what are you doing?

Robin: Just playing a game father. Don’t worry it’s educational enough for me to play.

Batman: oh.. okay.

Nightwing: Wait.. Isn’t that block blast? The game you swore you would never play?

Robin, dropping his phone and jumping on top of Nightwing.

Nightwing, laughing and trying to fight back

Batman, sighing and continues to drive

-

Damian, in his room playing call of duty on his Xbox

Alfred: Master Damian. Would you like anything to eat or drink perhaps? You’ve been playing that blasted game all day.

Damian, not looking up: Well I assure you it’s all for a good cause.

Alfred: *sighing* very well continue on.

-

Damian, at the arcade playing Galaxian

Duke: Damian? What are you doing here?

Damian: Just trying to beat this incompetent high score of a kid named “Chris”.

Duke: You are such an iPad kid *chuckles*

Damian: What was that Thomas?

Duke: Nothing never mind. Have fun trying to beat his high score.

Damian: Oh don’t worry I will. And once I do I will be victorious.

-

Damian, playing brawl stars

Jason: Hey demon brat, what are ya doin’?

Damian: ah Todd. I was just playing a game. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.

Jason, muttering under his breath: Whatever

-

Damian: Father I need your credit card. I need more V-bucks for this game.

Bruce: oh what game is it?

Damian: Fortnite, now please I need the battle pass so these unskillful lunatics can stop calling me a “noob”.

Bruce: uh okay? *takes out his credit card*

Damian, snatching it from B and running to his room: Thank you Father.

Bruce: mutters under his breath and walks back into the kitchen

Tim, 36 hours of sleep driving like a madman on Gotham roads: FUCKING MOVE. SLOW MOTHER FUCKER WHAT ARE YOU- OH YEAH? JUST WONDER TO THE RIGHT WITHOUT SIGNALLING WHY DONT YA? MAYBE NEXT TIME JUST DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND CRASH INTO THAT GODDAMN TRUCK THATS BACKING OUT THAT YOU DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO GODDAMN SEE-

Damian, just wanting to get to school since Alfred couldn’t drive him: I assure you these imbeciles are not worth your anger Dra-

Tim: I SWEAR IF ANYONE CUTS ME OFF ONE MORE TIME.

*Gets cut off*

Tim: ALRIGHT BITCHES. I WARNED YOU.

Damian, screaming: DRAKE. STOP THIS INSTANT. DRAKE. YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD-

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

Damian is not above using his status as Baby to get what he wants. At the same time, the Bats know that their littlest family member using his power (rare though it may be) is a sign of affection. Nobody says anything because Damian feeling comfortable enough to act his age (even if it is a manipulation tactic) means he trusts them.

Also? It’s fucking adorable.

Bruce is a man of principles and discipline, but he’s ready to shave his head and steal Lex Luthor’s identity no questions asked when Damian silently crawls into his lap. He was on a shareholders videoconference the first time the boy did it. No amount of money, notoriety, or achievements will ever compare to Damian laying his head on his father’s chest, sighing quietly, and closing his eyes peacefully as board members oohed and awwed. Screenshots went viral almost immediately. #BabyWayne trended for weeks.

Bruce booked them a trip to Chicago to see the new tiger exhibit at the zoo that Damian had mentioned over breakfast. He absolutely knew he’d been had and oh fucking well.

Then Damian does it again. And again and again, with no ask beforehand. When Bruce finally asked what was going on, the littlest Wayne said he was cold and simply required a heat source. Bruce pressed a kiss to his boy’s hair and read the quarterly reports over his head. And then took him out for new art supplies. And got him a pet lizard. And some ice cream. And yes, Alfred, I have a problem, but look at him! 🥹

𐙚 Toddler Hair Part 1 𐙚

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Part 2 here Excuse my toddlers we're going through the face melting situation, but they came out ok with no presets just bare with me lol ♡ Huge thanks to the creators ! ⊹♡ @zurkdesign @taurielsims @sehablasimlish @ravensim @candysims4 @sunivaa

Keeping up with the Waynes

(Mission Report)

Bruce: So, let me get this straight. Lex Luthor was in Gotham.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And confronted him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found out that he was doing experiments with Kryptonite serum on puppies?

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: So you got mad. And then?

Damian: And then I shot him in the ass five times as he ran from my sword like a coward.

Bruce: Where did you get a gun?

Jason: To be fair, that was a completely valid response to a report of tortured puppies.

Bruce: Oh.

I think anyone that studies medicine with Damian would lowkey hate his ass.

Not in a mean way, but in a petty why-aren't-you-struggling-like-me type of way. I mean, thanks to Robin and the league Damian is light years ahead of everyone on terms of experience and it would show.

Half the class is puking their guts out the first time they see a patient with an open fracture. Damian has been there, done that, seen that and worse. He's eating m&m's in the back.

They're all practicing making sutures until late. Damian is like "No, I don't need to join you. I could suture with my eyes closed" and then when someone is like "prove it, rich-boy" that mf actually blindfolds his eyes and sutures perfectly using four different techniques.

He also passes everything with flying colors! Because of course, the guy can't just be rich, good looking and famous, he has to be smart too.

And it just gets worse when he starts his actual residency.

Nothing shakes him! Thirty hour shifts? He doesn't even yawn. Extreme stress during a surgery gone awry? Damian is the one telling the other members of the surgical team to stay calm. Violent patient? They don't even get to call security, Damian has the guy pinned already.

And it would be easier to not get jealous of him if he somehow was a souless blood sucking asshole. But Damian is a good person, awkward and standoffish but always willing to help. He's there for whatever people need. He aids nurses, listens to patients, conforts victims. He sits with people for the bad news and when someone dies he gets this sad faraway look that shows he cares.

And it's just so unfair.

I think this was funnier when I sketched it at 2am.

mmm WIP