Perfection

Who wants to make me forget about my ex forever and make me only think about you?

I started edging last week and got so horny that I made a new blog all for me to be a dummy little slut on. I’ve been edging every night and I’m sooooo horny all the time now!!

The descent of every doll:

Discover bimbofication/dollification/denial/brainwashing/mind control on Tumblr; it turns you on (despite what you think about it)

Start masturbating to it (that can't hurt right?)

Starting edging, just a little bit (you can totally control it!)

Edge yourself into a dumb daze (omg this is so much fun but where did the last three hours go?!)

Develop an edging addiction (it feels too good to stop)

Start a Tumblr specifically for your new interest (good girls make more good girls)

Send anons to your favourite blogs (his attention would feel like, SO good)

Empty your head of all thoughts (Daddy says it's better this way)

Become dumb, brainless porn

Initiating Play as a Submissive

It’s not very common for me to initiate sex or play. That’s mostly because we have plenty of both as it is. My needs are met before I even think to go after them myself. 

But also, I’m not sure I’m any good at initiating. I’m good at subtle teasing and playfulness when I’m feeling needy. I’m good at having conversations where I state my needs clearly and directly (e.g., “I am beginning to feel like I will need a spanking soon”). But I’m not great at overtly initiating in a sexy way. With my ex-husband, I sometimes initiated sex by saying, “So how about you and me have some sex later?” That line had a 100% success rate, for the record. But yeah… I don’t have a lot of game. 

The other issue is that initiating play feels somehow wrong as a submissive. In my head, I know it’s not. In my head, I know that initiating is a suggestion, not a decision. But the bolder the come-on, the more uncomfortable it feels. Like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes. 

Still, sometimes I do try to initiate. I know he likes to see my hunger for him. He likes to see where my head is at and what I want. So the other day I put on lingerie and heels, then laid floggers and canes neatly on the bed. They were mostly—though not exclusively—my favorite implements. I’d never been so bold, and it made me nervous. Was it going too far? Would I earn a punishment for pushing a little too hard? I didn’t think so, but then again, this was uncharted territory. I was barely ready by the time he got home. 

We had a wonderful impact session, with deep, thuddy pain and enough tears to feed my sadist. But first, he started with something he knows I dislike. He started with hitting my pussy. It almost felt like punishment to me, but in a playful way. It felt as if he were saying, Okay, girl. You want impact? I’ll give you impact… It felt like a reminder that I should be careful not to forget my place. But when we talked after, he said that wasn’t it.

“I was saying, Okay, you had a good idea. Now you can let go. I will take it from here. Because I didn’t want you to be in your head about whether I really wanted it or if I was doing it for you.”

And truthfully, that is fair. A cornerstone of our relationship is that I am absolutely not in charge. I am considered a trusted advisor; he wants to know my thoughts and feelings and opinions. But the choices are his. And that’s exactly how I want it. Our power exchange is sacred to me, and I never want to do anything that could undermine it. 

I think this is why it’s so hard for me to initiate. Initiating is a bold declaration of my own wants. And in some respects, I need for my wants to come last. I prefer to express my wants indirectly—through porn I share with him or flirty “I was thinking about that time when…” comments. Laying it all out there (literally) feels like putting my wants first. It feels like stepping out of my place.

But when he started hitting my pussy, as much as I hated it, those concerns washed away. That action calmed my brain. It reassured me that his wants come before mine. And with that, I was able to let go and stay in the moment, rather than overthinking my own actions.

I’m learning to trust that the power exchange we’ve built is strong, and a few implements suggestively laid on the bed won’t be enough to derail it. I’ve been with some insecure Dominants in the past who never would have allowed it. But Monsieur has shown me time and time again that I can rely on his firm control. He makes decisions carefully and with purpose. Sometimes he says no, and sometimes he says yes. Either way, making the suggestion isn’t the same as taking charge. If he chooses to do something for me, it’s because that’s what he wants to do. It’s that simple. 

The more we talk about it, the more confident I grow in trying to initiate play. Now I’m even wondering if it’s time to step up my game. Maybe next time, I drop a crop in his lap and give him some raised eyebrows and a wink wink. That’s how you flirt, right?

I think I'll use this line. It is a groaner but still a good one.

I didn't realize how much I am into recognizing traditional gender roles.

A Wife’s Duty Is To Please Her Husband.

  (After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting)

Always greet him at the door with a cheerful face and a soft, loving voice.

Clean yourself, put on makeup, powder and perfume.

Good news first, grievances (administered gently) after a nice delicious dinner. Always dress to please your husband, and only your husband. No one else.

Reserve a special soft voice that is used only when communicating with your husband.

Always be thinner than necessary to promote fragility.

Dress for your husband. Use the perfume your husband likes.

Don’t dress for other women’s approval.

If you have to clean, cook, or do work that requires physical exertion, wear appropriate clothes, but bathe and change into feminine delicate clothing before your husband returns.

Exchange loving and affectionate words with your husband: always make sure he knows you appreciate his hard work and hsi role as head of the household.

Put your husband’s hopes and interests before yours.

Don’t ask your husband for many unnecessary things. Consider his needs before yours.

Always try to please his guests and his family members.

Do not continue friendships with people he does not want you to be friends with.

Never allow strangers or other men to be alone with you when he is not around.

Always display hospitality to his guests, making them feel comfortable and well attended to.

Be patient in difficult times.

If your husband wants something done, or wants you to do something, do it with a smile. Only say no if you feel it will bring irreparable damage to your body, psyche, and morale.

If your husband is angry, keep silent. Don’t question him or try to find out why he is angry.

Always be the first to apologize.

Apologize for your husband’s distraught at other people’s misdeeds and mistakes

Do not leave the house without his permission. If you have to leave, call him and let him know where you will be.

Don’t be on the defensive when he is in a ill temper or treat you poorly. Always answer with obedience and a submissive desire to put him in a good mood again.

Wishing women could figure this out, the divorce rate would plummet :)

Making out is essential every day. Make it part of your love language so it is an expression of compassion and passion that doesn't always need to lead to sex. Do I get a "AMEN" from the congregation?

Good Girls love doing their hair and makeup everyday.

It’s about being pretty. Wearing makeup is about crafting your look and maximizing your best features, while minimizing flaws. As a woman, you’re going to be chiefly evaluated for your appearance, so make it the best it can be.

Good Girls always strive to look their best.

It’s an art. Your face is a canvas that goes everywhere you do. Display your ever-improving skill at creating impressions and capturing attention.

Good Girls love to be pretty, be sexy, and be noticed.  

It improves your confidence. It returns your focus to maximizing your appearance, and leaves you feeling more confident and put-together. That will carry over to your behavior as well.

Good Girls love doing their hair and makeup everyday

It shapes your mindset. Not feeling sexy? Do your makeup!  It’s well known that when a routine is done regularly in a given mindset, simply doing that routine can begin to cause that mindset.

Good Girls always strive to look their best.

It shows you care.  When you’ve done your makeup, anyone seeing you knows that it‘s important to you to look your best.

Good Girls love to be pretty, be sexy, and be noticed.

Read. Learn and appreciate.

The ideal balance.

So perfect