Daddy, I Don’t Feel Like Going To Church. Can We Stay Home And I Can Just Confess A Few Things To You

I'd love to see how wonderful she'd look doing a tango or salsa dance.

It is always good to know the best knots for the situation. Know your knots and when/why to use which one plus tying knots is somewhat meditative.

How a Submissive Leads

A good submissive is often a wonderful leader. It may seem paradoxical. After all, aren’t submissives supposed to follow? The caricature of submissives is a little mouse, quiet except for “yes, Sir” and “thank you, Sir.” But submissives lead in a great many ways.

Submissives lead by example. They lead by showing up every day and honoring their commitment to the dynamic. They lead by showing their Dominant that obedience and service are for always, not just when it’s easy. It takes a lot of strength to kneel when you are tired, when you are emotionally struggling, when your confidence is shaken. It is easier to withdraw or to take back control, rather than trusting someone else with it. When submissives choose their submission over and over again, this shows faith in a vision for what the dynamic should be. It shows courage and resolve. And with this leadership, submissives inspire leadership in their Dominants with their unrelenting need to follow.

Submissives lead by providing their Dominants opportunities to lead. Sometimes submissives sense that their Dominants need a reminder that they hold the leash. When they are stressed or feeling unsure, sometimes they need to feel their partners’ submission. That connection sustains both sides of the slash. Submissives lead by recognizing when their Dominant needs to connect through power exchange and offering an opportunity to lead. They ask permission. They ask their Dominant to choose for them. They kneel with their Dominant’s favorite implement in hand. But it is up to the submissive sometimes to see the need and act on it.

Submissives lead by helping their Dominants understand their needs. This is not topping from the bottom; it is giving Dominants all the information they need to care for their property. Imagine the Dominant is blindfolded, walking a path with their submissive. The Dominant knows where they want to go. They know if they head directly west, they will reach the most perfect little town. But the submissive can see that heading directly west will send them through swamps and rocky terrain. The submissive leads by being the Dominant’s eyes—explaining the obstacles and allowing the Dominant to find a different course that will reach the destination. This is not the same as telling the Dominant where to go, just as sharing your needs is not topping from the bottom. 

Once in a D/s relationship, I was struggling with a lack of spankings. I tried telling him I needed a spanking. He’d nod, and then the next time, he’d throw me down and treat me roughly. He made sure I felt owned. But I still needed a spanking. Finally, I laid it out for him. “When I say I need a spanking, I don’t mean I need kink. I don’t mean that we’ve gone too vanilla. I don’t mean that I need you to hurt me. I mean that I need a spanking, and nothing else will do.” This felt decidedly unsubmissive to me. But through his response, I realized that this kind of guidance was the most submissive thing I could do. I showed him how to lead us. Without my leadership, he could not lead. 

Submissives lead by serving as a beacon of light. As a submissive, I light the path, and my Dominant leads us down it. I do not decide. But I may shine a light on a decision to be made, so my Dominant can decide. Without a submissive’s leadership, their Dominant is just wandering in the dark. It’s not just that submissives do lead; it’s that they must lead at times for the dynamic to be successful.

“If my Master is lost, I’ll find him. I’ll lead him back to himself, because to serve doesn’t always mean to follow.” ―Joey W. Hill

https://ayerslix.tumblr.com/post/186384897404 Nailed it.

It's simple really

1. Turn my mind against me with hypnosis and conditioning.

2. Turn my body against me with edging and denial.

3. Repeat 1+2 until I'm a broken, dripping, animalistic mess addicted to obeying you and begging to be used and owned.

4. Use and own me. (Don't hold back.)

5. Degrade and patronise me when I cum for you. Call me a good girl and a slut.

6. Repeat 1-5 forever.

This is just plain good relationship advice regardless of certain words/lables.

10 ways to worship your Master

1.       Always kiss His cock after he’s fucked you or let you suck him off … tell him how wonderful his cock tastes/feels/looks, and how much you love it. … and say “Thank You Master”

2.       Be kind – it’s not all about rules, or play, sometimes take the time to watch him, get a sense of His mood, is He stressy? Is he tired? Try to be in tune with what He needs, and when you can make His life - better do so.  You can do lots of nice things – simple acts of kindness and goodness, bake a cake, litter the house with scribbled post it notes hidden in cupboards, in His wallet, in His favourite girlie mag or on the bathroom mirror. If he’s ill make him soup, bring him warm drinks before he needs to ask, bring Him a cushion if he’s been sat to long hunched over a laptop.  

3.       Be proud to be His. Stand for what you believe in. Call Him Master in public/ with vanilla friends – maybe not constantly, but when it matters. If you’re asked to go somewhere – say “I’ll ask my Master”. Your friends may think you’re jesting, but by the time they realise you aren’t you’ll probably find they’re pretty accepting.  Mine were. I always deferred on important decisions and asked them to ask Him. Every time you’re honest about your relationship it reaffirms the dynamic.

4.       Pay attention to what He likes – forget anything, but remember what matters to Him, His core values, his worries, His preferences, His favourite smells, foods, colours, fabrics etc.

5.       Don’t try to be an expert on His interests though.  I’m starting to realise that actually me and my Master are different. He is logical, and has a scientific, mathematical, right-brained man’s mind. I on the other hand, am typically left brained and artistic. I do not understand what He is talking about when he talks about physics. But it doesn’t matter – I enjoy listening to Him talking passionately about something. I don’t need to understand all of it, or how it works.  People so oftenly mistake showing interest with debating or firing inquisitory questions at the other person. It’s actually really nice that we are different – it balances us perfectly. I don’t try to outsmart Him on His topics or question Him.  I wondered if this might actually be a problem of where the bimbo-ideal and living it would give rise to a conflict of desires he might have, but He doesn’t need or expect me to understand.

6.       Learn role-appropriate-skills to make His life wonderful.  Being submissive is a discipline. It’s kind of like being a geisha. It is about (particularly for doll-types) aspiring to perfection. So presentation is everything – perfect self presentation, perfect home, perfect meals. Learn everything you can about home care – cleaning tips- cooking skill- sexual skills- beauty tips- massage tips- exercise facts-and do everything with grace and skill. Practice speaking nicely, moving elegantly and learn how to hold yourself and at what angles you look best. Learn to communicate effectively and appealingly – find out if He wants you to be explicit , or more subtle, to communicate using specific words or sometimes in your tone, your eye contact and body language, and learn to listen , active listening makes for better relationships. Take time to process his questions before responding.  It is nice to be unquestioning and the ideal of submission is surrender as an absolute not a semi-version but as a relationship its really important to comprehend what is being communicated to you , so even if you fully plan to agree – pause and absorb before moving on.

7.       Be useful to Him. In public do whatever He needs. Be His personal cheerleader, or right hand woman, his rock and confidente. Laugh at jokes you don’t understand. Don’t criticize Him even as part of general hen-crowd-man-baiting. Be near enough to him that you are by His side, but let him shine – don’t cling to Him and be in the way, be devoted and patient, serene and poised.  It’s ok to be a private performer and to put on a show when He tells you. But be what He needs when He needs it and understand that what is expected or desired may change based on environment.

8.       Make His life easier. He may get final say on things but don’t ask Him about everything, it can be exhaustive. Like home furnishings. I have pretty much always had the D/s M/s dynamic in all my adult relationships . Never, have I met a Master, or man for that matter that particularly cares about curtains.  From what I understand generally the topic is boring and you only make a pest of yourself running to Him with catalogues of fabric. If you know what colours He likes narrow it to maybe 3 options you think He will like. The same applies on other things that he finds dull or laborious – i.e. food shopping, anything He may need for health or self care.

9.       Tell Him things that you appreciate about what He does for you i.e.  patience, promoting your confidence, learn to see the things that go beyond “kink” (I hate that word so much).

10.   Believe in him. Trust him… believe in His dreams even if you don’t understand them…do everything you can to help him flourish towards his own happiness… offer to promote his restaurant, offer to help Him gift shop for children/women/relatives in his life, offer to promote his craft or art through social media, offer anything that you think is of service or benefit to Him. 

q��SI

Something to consider and give a try a few times, usually with the support of your significant other.

I think about this kind of thing a lot. Put on something nice. I'm taking you out tonight. I promise you will have a good time.

I am looking forward to when I become the richest man on earth.