Men I Would Trust With My Drink

No one:

Neil Newbon: "Oh yeah Heisenberg would call you buttercup."

Apparently calling Oscar Isaac “Moon Daddy” is not sitting well with the boyfriend

Chaos in Us masterlist

relationships: steven grant x witch!avenger!reader, marc spector x reader, jake lockley x reader, platonic!khonshu x reader [gender neutral]

summary: When you leave behind your friends in New York to be the master of the London Sanctum you can't help but feel a little lonely. Luckily a mysterious gift shopist is there to make the foreign city feel like home.

a/n: infinity war/endgame never happened, the avengers are a happy family <3

chapters

Chaotic - When you move to London you aren't expecting to fall in love. You also aren't expecting an Egyptian god who kind of sounds like Darth Vader to crash your date but that's just your life apparently.

Cities of Loves - [coming soon]

blurbs

[coming soon]

Khonshu: "Strangle him!"

Person A: "You okay?"

Y/N: "I'm all good, it's the murder bird standing behind me that has a problem with you."

Khonshu: "MURDER BIRD?!"

Mystery solved

Why is it that in hentai, the lady on the receiving end has to report as to the goings-on with her insides with such goofy explicits?

Aaannh, Kita-kun, your throbbing meatstick is violating my insides ❤~

I’m quite aware, Masuda-senpai.

In fact, there’s an x-ray close-up of your vagina right this moment, and his penis looks like a pixelated molerat attempting to escape the insides of a pomegranate.

*Eddie holding a rock in his hands*

DUSTIN: That’s a pretty rock

EDDIE: *smiling proudly* Y/n gave it to me!

Y/N: I threw it at you.

EDDIE: They’re so sweet!