I Hate The Way The Cullens Treat Bella, But Edward And Alice Are Especially Despicable. What Makes Their

Just learned there is an hour long remake of the Princess Bride with different celebrities playing the parts in each scene, filmed at home on people's cellphones during the lockdown. The commitment to the bit & various props and costumes are so so funny. The seminal duel between Inigo & Count Ruben is played by Javier Bardem & Bryan Cranston and they both kill it. Anyway, here's the full mobile version and here's a version that tells you who each person is.

Jason was tired

Tired of his own family treating him like an outsider

Of Bruce being more Batman than dad

Of feeling like he wasn’t enough

Tired of that case, the monument to his fucking death

Of being the “good soldier” that died, as if he was still dead

Tired of the nightmares

Of waking up screaming for a father that would never come

Of dying over

And over

And over again

But most of all,

He was tired of being really fucking angry all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So he did what he should have done a long ass time ago and got out of the toxic environment he’d spent most of his life (and death) in.

He got himself legally resurrected

Found a great therapist

Got his GED

Made sure his criminal enterprise would be well looked after

Went to med school

Became a doctor

He finally started living his life, not the one Bruce wanted.

You had a Friend in Me

           I’M BACK!! Oh god its been two weeks since I posted a story. I missed you guys like crazy. Hopefully you like my newest piece. I went a… Unique direction. Enjoy!

 She didn’t stumble, fall, and break like they expected her to. There was no big meltdown or confrontation. No apologies. Or promises to do better. No, when nearly everyone in class made it clear they weren’t friends with Marinette anymore; nothing happened. They had accused her of being mean to Lila and a bully as the reasons they couldn’t be friends anymore and had expected the girl to defend herself at the very least.

           Marinette just shrugged, and that was it.

           Even when they asked her to resign from being class president, she easily stood up and said she quit.

           Most of the class, Alya, in particular wanted to be angry at her lack of reaction; shout and scream at the bluenette for seeming not to care about the severance of their friendships. But how could they?

           They knew it was their choice. They were mature enough to know that everyone reacted differently to things. And yelling at Marinette for not being emotional enough at the fact that they weren’t friends anymore just showed their own immaturity. And that would be like telling Marinette she won; and that wasn’t worth it.

           Besides, It was only September, they were sure Marinette would come crawling back to them soon.

…

…

           Marinette never did.

…

           On the outside, it didn’t look like much had changed with the class. While the class weren’t friends with Marinette, they still chose to be cordial. They still did assigned group projects with. Everyone doing their part. However, no one went out of their way to speak with the Bluenette. And she did the same and seemed content.

           Despite appearances, things had definitely changed in class. And it didn’t take long for everyone to realize it.

           The first was Alix’s birthday. Everyone had been so excited. Birthdays were always the best for Bustier’s class. The entire classroom would be decorated. There would be cake and balloons; a wonderful and thoughtful perfectly wrapped present.

           However, when the kids arrived that morning, it was too the same ordinary classroom as the day before.

           It was disappointing to say the least. The kids scrambled to try to throw something, anything together before Alix arrived. However, it was too late. Alix arrived not long after them, and seeing the smile fall from her face broke their hearts.

           No one knew what to say. Or how to explain why nothing was decorated. Why there was no cake and or gift. They sat awkwardly at their desks.

           It was only after Marinette arrived, just a few minutes before the bell rang, that they all got their answer.

           Marinette. Marinette had been the class president. The class president was responsible for any class birthday, trip, or fundraiser. She had always gone above and beyond. Unlike, Chloe, the previous class president, who only ever put in their bare minimum (and she made Sabrina do that); a cupcake, a balloon tied to their desk, and a card signed by the entire class.

           Marinette had been their friend so she always made sure to do her very best to celebrate. But she wasn’t class president anymore. And she wasn’t their friend. She wasn’t obligated to do anything.

           So she didn’t.

           And while the class had been meaning to, they never got around to electing a new class president to replace the one their forced out of office.

           It burned a little.

           Particularly, when the class realized they were hard pressed to find volunteer to assume the role. No one had that much time on their hands. No one wanted to be responsible for anything going wrong. Or not living up to expectations.

           Friend or not, they could admit Marinette was a hard act to follow.

           Unfortunately, to prevent Chloe from taking the job again, Alya was forced to step up.

           It didn’t take long to realize that planning for fundraisers and dances and parties was equivalent to the work of seven people. She didn’t know how Marinette handled it so well.

           School trips, once amazing and carefully planned to the last detail, now were boring and hastily put together; the best one was a trip to the museum, mostly because they got to have ice cream after.

           Fresh baked sweets on big tests days were gone too. It had become a tradition that on days of major, study hard and cram for weeks prior, tests that treats were brought in the morning. It lightened the tension of the day, and just made everyone feel better.

           The morning of a huge math test that had caused a few kids to hyperventilate the day before and of; delicious goods were nowhere to be found.

           When the bell rang, Kim had quickly asked Bustier where the food was.

           To which the teacher replied, “Marinette always asked me if she could bring them in for her friends.”

           And that was all they needed to know.

           It sucked but it was something they could live without.

           Favors were the next thing they realized were gone.

           Before whenever they needed something; they would automatically go to Marinette for help. A babysitter, sweets, costumes, dresses, set design.

           Alya and Nino found themselves spending their date nights watching their young siblings together. Most of their friends refused to babysit. And the few that were willing were far too busy.

           Mylene found that the school play’s custom designed costumes were a thing of the past. So were the artfully decorated set designs.

           Alix had to make her own banners. So did Kim.

           Rose couldn’t just run to Marinette when she need a new fabulous dress. Marinette had always made it clear that she was willing to help out a friend whenever they asked her about costs.

           Then the favors they never realized they even got were gone.

           Discounts at the bakery were only for friends and family. Unfortunately that also meant the discount for their families were gone as well.

           Ladybug suddenly stopped giving Alya interviews. And when Alya asked why, the hero said she only did it because the reporter was Marinette’s friend. It hurt the Ladyblog badly.

           Someone coming to defend them whenever Chloe threw a tantrum and managing to calm the blond down. Even Alya found she wasn’t as much of match as thought, when the spoiled rotten girl was on rampage.

           This effect class morale dramatically. And it wasn’t before long that the class shifted to what it was like before Alya or Adrien came to school, with Chloe trying to declare dominance every other second. But this time, the other students were cowed like they used to be. No, they had seen Marinette standing up for herself and them for years. If she could do it, so could they. Sadly, they weren’t enough. With just the right amount of effort, Chloe could intimidate anyone.

           Adrien who was soon confused about why the friend safe haven had suddenly turned hostile

           Marinette just shook her head. Chloe asked (ordered) Marinette to come to her penthouse one October morning. The blonde had realized the dynamic in class had changed dramatically and wanted to seize the opportunity with an iron first; and she knew she couldn’t do that if Dupain-Cheng was still her number one enemy.

Chloe proceeded to lay down an offer of truce. Chloe and Marinette would leave each other alone, would stay out of each other’s way, and didn’t interfere with anything the other did unless it was school related so they absolutely had to. There would be no threats, stealing, lies, or intimidation from Chloe towards Marinette. In return, Marinette would let Chloe do her thing without trying to defend or save anyone.

As long as both did that, there would be peace.

Marinette agreed.

Thus Chloe’s reign for her symbolic iron throne began. The queen bee had no illusions of who was who. Marinette was a Stark. Chloe: a Lannister.  But Chloe was a smart lion. She had no problems letting the North be independent away from the rest of the kingdom. Chloe’s kingdom.

And much like show, there was no win or lose. When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. And Chloe would win.

Lila was the first to feel to the effects. Chloe refused to have competition for Queen Bee. And the Italian girl became took Marinette’s place as her new number one target.

Lila soon learned that dealing with Marinette was one thing, dealing with Chloe was a whole different animal.  While Marinette fought for peace, Chloe was more than willing to rage war. And unlike Marinette, Chloe didn’t care what anyone thought about her. Lila could scream to the world about how much of a bully Chloe was but what did it matter. Everyone in class knew that already.

She couldn’t threaten Chloe like she did Marinette. In fact, the Chloe regularly threatened her. In front of the other students, and Bustier.

She couldn’t try to get Chloe expelled as Damocles was quick to bend to the blonde’s will.

Chloe regularly “Accidently” tripped Lila, ruined her homework, stole any projects she had, destroyed her phone one time, verbally ripped her to shreds in front of everyone and even worse in private. Chloe would play mean and outright nasty pranks that would leave Lila in tears. More than a few sets of clothes were destroyed. To make everything worse, the blond brat routinely made her look like a fool in front of Adrien. She even got her mother to mock the Agreste brand about their use of a lackluster model to the point where Gabriel fired her.

Nearly everything Lila had accused Marinette of doing, she found herself actually having to face from Chloe. Who would’ve thought the bluenette was doing her a favor by being all moral and self-righteous that it would draw the attention of the evil that was Chloe Bourgeois.

The truce happened one grey October Morning, Chloe officially ruled the class again by November. Lila was seriously considering changing schools.

No one had the time to fawn over her. And she certainly didn’t have time to amaze anyone with her stories. No she was too busy fending off Chloe’s attacks. And wondering why the brat kept referring to her as a Tyrell. Or Alya and Nino as Karstarks. And the rest of the class as Freys’.

One by one, each student realized they had lost something else. Something they actually really missed.

When the class picture was taken, Juleka had been just late and no one realized it. Rose had comforted her again. But no one was able to get the photographer to take another picture. At the end of the day, Juleka still felt really bad about it and had to fight the urge to call Marinette that night. Marinette was always willing to just listen no matter the time.

And it wasn’t long where the other students found themselves in similar situations that all ended with them really wanting to talk to Marinette.

Alya after a fight with her sister.

Rose after Prince Ali wrote to her that he would be ending communication.

Nino after a gig went terribly.

Kim after he lost one of his games.

Alix after she broke her watch…. Again.

Mylene after a fight with Ivan.

Ivan after he failed a math test.

Nathaniel after Marc decided to end their partnership.

Sure, they went to their other friends for comfort. But Marinette was different. When one of them went to any of the other students with a problem; it felt just like that. Them complaining about their problems and the others doing their best to cheer them up and offer solutions. At the end, they still felt like they were on their own; like it was still just their problem. With Marinette…

She always made them feel like they were on the same team. She cared like they were her problems too. And wasn’t going to stop until they were fixed. Marinette was someone they could just talk to without judgement or getting harsh opinions; no criticism. With her, they never felt like they were being judged; even when pointed out that it might, in fact, be their own fault.

They missed Marinette when they afraid or nervous. She’d always manage to calm them down, assure them, be their biggest supporter if need be. And her just being them made them feel better; like they stood more of a chance. She take their mind of things, get them to relax, smile, and by the time whatever it was that made them so terrified came up, they had already completely forgotten why they were anxious.

The strangest part was they even missed her when things were happy as well.

           When anything good happened, one of their first instincts was to call Marinette; scream their excitement. And listen to Marinette scream back just as happy as they were, despite that she was in no way affected.

           No; on the outside the class hadn’t changed much. Everyone still did their own thing. Homework was done. Tests were dealt with. Sure class trips weren’t as wonderful as they used to be. Birthdays only with store bought cupcakes and maybe some balloons. Everyone who started out as friends were still friends by the end of the years. It was just like anyone other class in the world.

…

           Except they were never like all other classes. They had always felt like they were special. Most kids hadn’t looked forward to school day but the students of Bustier’s class had. There had always been something new and wonderful to talk about; some adventure to go on. Now there was nothing. There was still life in the classroom; still laughter and fun. But it was like something took the spark that made it come alive.

           And it was hard to pretend otherwise.

           And they couldn’t really figure out why.

           One or Two (Rose and Nino) could admit, whenever they found themselves alone with their thoughts in class and looked around, that were was a hollowness to the classroom that had never existed before. It didn’t make sense. Everyone (minus Chloe) was still friendly with one another. They all still cared about each other. They were all still really good friends. Good but not as good as they used to be.

…

           They’d never be as good as they used to be again.

…

           The class for their end of year party had gone to the pool. They all had a blast. On their way home, they walked by the park and heard music and laughter. It didn’t take long to realize that there was a party happening.

“Happy Birthday, Marinette!” Caught their attention.

           From where they stood, just outside the party, the students and ex friends of Marinette could make out other students from different classes from their school.

           Aurore the creator of the new blog BugOut. There was Marc, Claude, Mireille, Ondine, Bridgette, the Ice King that was Felix Culpa, and a bunch of other students they never knew Marinette was friends with. Even Luka was there.

“I didn’t know it was Marinette’s birthday,” Adrien frowned.

           So did Alya. Mostly because it was her job to remember as class president. Partly because it was the first time she ever forgot her former (best) friend’s birthday. “It wasn’t on the list,” She gave a weak excuse.

“It looks like fun,” Juleka whispered.

           And it did. There was a live band, a feast of food, people laughing and dancing; it all looked so… Alive.

           Alix stuffed her hands in her pockets. Her throat clenched at the sight of the laughing bluenette who didn’t look like she had a care in the world. “Who knew Marinette had so many friends?”

           Nino glanced down, “She looks happy.”

           And Marinette did.

           She looked like the happiest girl in the world.

           But she always did.

           Even after they ended their friendships with her.

           It didn’t seem to both the bluenette. She kept being her positive and cheerful self, except they couldn’t bask in her sunlight anymore.

           They watched when Luka got on their makeshift stage with his guitar, “Marinette you are the most special person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, sweet, and way too thoughtful for your own good. Which is why we all wanted you to know…” he started playing his guitar. A familiar tune filled the air, all the party goers starts to sings.

“You’ve got a friend in me

You’ve got a friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead

And you’re miles and miles

From your nice warm bed

You just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you’ve got a friend in me

Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me”

           The song left a bad taste of Irony on their tongues.

           They thought they had left Marinette behind, somehow it had ended up being the opposite.

…

           They felt like forgotten toys.

Just because I'm AroAce doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. I want one, only instead of it being like Marshall and Lily from "How I Met Your Mother", I want one like Penelope and Derek from "Criminal Minds". Full of name-calling and innuendo, that shocks people and makes them feel scandalized and completely platonic.

YES i want to look hot. NO i don’t want anyone to be attracted to me ever. shocked and appalled that these two things cannot coexist

No, Bruce! You can’t Adopt her.

This isn’t salt, Cupcake. But I’m going to do a quick drabble of this anyway because it’s an awesome idea.

The suit was a deep dark red. Darker than it used to be from what they had seen saw from the previous news reports reviewed. Her mask was black. Her eyes a startling blue and her hair a shade just touch short of being as dark as night. The girl looked to be no older than thirteen or fourteen.

Somehow she had shown up on the scene just before any of the batfamily could and immediately solve the riddles, freed the innocent civilization, dismantle the bomb with rubber duck and a hair pin, dodged the trap, and was now fighting off the Riddler and his men.

And as they watched her kick the Riddler in the face and then yo-yo away, only to spin around and do it a second time, all the batkids knew they’d have to step in.

“You can’t adopt her, B-Man,” The Redhood pinched his nose.

Keep reading

I was talking to my friend the other day about a dude I know, and I called him a “funky lil’ guy”. The response I recieved was somewhere along the lines of “he’s literally taller than you so you can’t say that”

My guy, you simply do not understand. Funky lil’ guys aren’t little, they’re lil. It’s purely vibe based

Dude even had the audacity to say “you’re slipping” when will only cut one of the three stings holding horace’s hands together

Why have I not seen LITERALLY ANYONE talk about how in Erak’s Ransom, when Will saves the group, Horace yells “Will!!” And holds up his tied hands AND WILL SHOOTS IT AND FREES HIM??? LIKE THAT WAS SO COOL WHY DO WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT????? The fact that, number one, Horace knew Will was skilled enough to do it, number two, Horace TRUSTED Will not to shoot his hand, number three, Will understood what Horace wanted him to do, and finally, the fact that WILL WAS ABLE TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Now obviously rangers are very trained and blah blah blah but THATS STILL BADASS????

what you need to understand about recommending a show to me is that no matter how much we both know I'll like it, I can't watch it until the Neurodivergence Department in my brain approves it. I don't know when that will be, and I don't have any more control over it than you do.

GoT characters as Twilight  characters

the similarities are astounding everyone. 

The Starks are obviously the Cullens. Bran is Alice. Jon is Edward on account of being a brooding emotional fuck. Sansa is Rosalie cause gotta slay those rapists like the queen she is. Ned is Carlisle: noble af, old & tired. Robb is Jasper, a military genius. Arya is Emmett cause both are peak jock™. Catlyn is Esme (sorry Cat…we know Esme is kinda bland, but she’s the only one that works).

Rickon is Bella. Very little personality, dies at a very inconvenient time. 

Dany is Renesmee. The Chosen One™. 

Jaime is Jacob. Hot and dumb, but will go to bat for you. Also when faced with “should I own up to my own secret” just starts getting naked. 

Cersei is Victoria. Gotta be on top and will literally slaughter you if you look at her wrong. Or kill her family. Either one. 

Which makes Joffrey…James. Heckling people for no reason and not in a nice way. 

So Robert B. is Laurent. Not the ultimate worst dude, but doesn’t do great things. Mainly because he won’t stop his horrible family members from doing horrible things *cough cough* Victoria/Cersei & James/Jeoffrey.

Lancel (pre-high sparrow) is Riley. Does anything for some dick and easily manipulated to do wrong.

Ramsay is Jane bc that bitch can really torture you. 

Myranda is Alec bc his powers aren’t as cool, but he’s gotta tag team in on that torture too.

Tyrion is Aro. Very calculated and will cut you to get his way. 

Littlefinger is Caius. Hides behind Aro like a facade but is really a lil bitch.

The entire Citadel is Marcus. Old white men. Irrelevant branch of power. The most unhelpful in basically all situations.

The Hound is Demetri. Just following orders, but really loves to catch people and watch them die.

The Mountain is Felix. Truly suicidal to challenge.

Melisandre is Heidi. Uses her body to get her and her allies what they want.  

Stannis is Sam. A true Alpha: strong leader, does what he believes is right even if it makes him unpopular. 

Shireen is Emily. Sweet summer child, but literally scarred for life.

Euron is Paul. Always mad and ready for a fight to the death in the mud. 

Brienne is Leah. Deserves everyone, gets no one due to the cruel world around her, but can beat anyones ass…especially the men that wronged her.

Poddy P is Seth bc baby cinnamon roll obviously.

Theon is Alistair. Runs away at the first sign of trouble on account of being severely traumatized and all.

Yara/Asha is Kate Denali. Electricity running through her veins like a bamf. 

The Sand Snakes are the Amazonian Vampires. Hot & cool af. 

Sam is Charlie. Learns The Truth™ (wights & white walkers & R+L). Becomes Actual Dad to everyone and Real Dad to little Sam. Always like “what in the god damn heck are we doing this is not normal”. 

No one in Twilight is good enough to be Margaery or Oberyn. 

Please add more as you see fit friends.