How Could I Actually Not

So, after watching my straight friend watch Yellowjackets, I truly don't think you can fully understand Jackie and Shauna--or Rhaenyra and Alicent, or Jennifer and Needy, or any other toxic wlw friendship-- unless you've actually been in one. My mom watched the show, and she might be straight, but she understands the homoeroticism of JackieShauna even when it's the hardest thing to explain--because, in the words of my friend, how can Shauna literally having sex with Jackie's boyfriend be homoerotic?

And the best way I can describe it is this. In one of these toxic, codependent girlbestfriendships, there are two different roles. There's the one who's loved by everyone, hot and popular and confident, and her best friend, quiet and yearning and willing to do anything for this other girl, who she sees as perfect. There's the one who likes control and the one who gets controlled. So, in Shauna's case, she's obsessed with Jackie. She's obsessed with Jackie to the point where her whole life revolves around her. She's spent so much time laboring over every little thing Jackie does, and how she thinks, and how she acts, and when she feels like Jackie doesn't do the same thing, she gets these outbursts--like in the Pilot, where Jackie tries to set her up with Randy. Like, she thought this infatuation was mutual, but it's not. Shauna thought Jackie could just tell from looking at her that she wasn't into it, because Shauna would be able to tell if it was Jackie--she's got all her mannerisms memorized.

This obsession can lead into a kind of desire to almost become this person, and in Shauna's case, that means literally taking everything Jackie has. Having sex with her boyfriend. Filling her house with rabbits. Having a daughter that's Jackie's spitting image. Stealing Jackie's future, now that Jackie is dead and can't live it herself. Shauna will never fully allow herself to move on. But at the same time as wanting to become Jackie, Shauna just wants Jackie--maybe sexually, maybe romantically, maybe in some cannibalistic way, but that desire is there. She wants Jackie, and the show acknowledges it.

In the adult timeline through the teenager one, everything Shauna does revolves around Jackie. Even having sex with Jeff, even doing everything to break herself away from Jackie and stop being Jackie's little pet, she's still allowing herself to be controlled, because at the very heart of this, it's still all about Jackie. It's Jackie's boyfriend, Jackie's parents, Jackie's rabbits, Jackie's future. Shauna's so obsessed with Jackie--and has been for twenty-plus years--that she stole Jackie's life. She became Jackie because she couldn't have Jackie. And the main cause for all this "Shauna having sex with Jeff is homoerotic" stuff comes from the idea that, as a queer girl, the line between wanting to be her or be with her is almost invisible.

Shauna had sex with Jeff because it was the closest she could get to having sex with Jackie, and that's the best way I can describe it.

biggest flex is that i have ella purnell bug eyes

I relate to Shauna Shipman on a spiritual level because i would also stay in a toxic lesbian situationship with this woman.

like… please 🙏

she’s soooooooooooo

DELETE DELETE DELETE IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THIS IS FOUL

i saw this reposted on pinterest last night and no joke have been thinking abt it non-stop since. i think jackie was going to be hurt as long as the person shauna was having sex with wasn't her. she doesn't frame it that way in her mind but their codependency becomes sexual in an inherent way because they literally cannot do anything without the other. shauna tries to break away from this by having sex with jeff but it doesn’t work — because even this rebellion is at its core about jackie. she has sex with jeff to gain some agency, to tell herself jackie doesn't control her life, but she does. and this isn't jackie's fault — jackie controls shauna through shauna's own obsession with and dependency on her. in the end, shauna didn’t have sex without jackie — she was thinking about her the whole time.

this comparison makes me feel physically fucking sick (do it again i'm a masochist)

Saltburn / Jackie & Shauna, Yellowjackets

Actual official intro?

So, I haven't done an intro to me and my blog yet, so here goes.

My name is Vivienne!

im an infp

massive Lottie Matthews/Remus Lupin/Tori Spring kinnie (also the biggest Lottie Matthews kinnie you will ever meet like seriously I'm just her but a redhead)

I'll mostly be making Yellowjackets and Marauders posts, but probably also ones from other shows I enjoy :)

I can't edit for shit, but I do have lots of deep thoughts about fictional gays and so I will probably do lots of writing pieces or full-length statements about things to try and get my feelings out. Hope you have the willpower to make it thru that (i'm sorry in advance.)

homophobes, transphobes, sexists/misogynists, dni this blog is not for u

desperately looking for online friends/mutuals, so hmu if u wanna talk at all!!!

No shit bro like I AM her like you don't understand

No Surprises by Radiohead

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)