Entering Your Winter Arc (November 1st To December 31)

More career tips please!!

You should always be 10 steps ahead.

Translation: Your boss, team, or senior shouldn't have to remind you to complete tasks; ideally, you should have already completed the task and moved on to the next steps by the time they approach you. Being proactive means constantly seeking ways to enhance processes, workflows, and outcomes. Take the example from a few weeks ago when my boss requested a weekly search of specific KPIs for our client companies. After spending three hours searching and analyzing, and realizing the whole process was inefficient, I collaborated with our data team, organized a meeting, and together, we automated the process. Now, it's a seamless task done with just a click every Friday, much to my boss's delight. Similarly, recognizing the growing importance of AI in finance, I researched upcoming AI conferences, discussed them with my boss, and expanded my knowledge in the field. None of these efforts were particularly challenging or even well thought out--I just thought ahead and as a result, life is a whole lot easier for both me and my team.

Your first job is to make your boss's life easier

By optimizing processes and simplifying tasks, you can significantly enhance your boss's daily efficiency and in turn, make them love and appreciate you endlessly. Take proactive steps like volunteering to take notes during meetings, especially with important clients and while you're at it, follow up promptly by sharing a concise list of key takeaways to help your boss keep them top of mind. Be mindful of their time and present updates clearly and succinctly. Highlight any crucial developments and demonstrate your attentiveness by never making them to repeat instructions. Basically, strive to become indispensable through your proactive approach and valuable contributions.

Confidence is key, but so is humility.

The key is to strike a balance between confidence and humility. Overconfidence can lead to arrogance and closed-mindedness, but on the other hand, excessive humility breeds self-doubt and missed opportunities. So here's how you balance the two. You Listen: confident humility allows you to express your ideas assertively while being open to feedback and suggestions from others. You Empathize: you understand the feelings and perspectives of others, creating a supportive and inclusive environment. You Collaborate: Confident humility encourages teamwork and collaboration, leading to innovative solutions and successful outcomes.

You will be judged based on your appearance.

I don't care what anyone says, humans are visual creatures and we we all absolutely judge books by their covers. So if you dress kinda meh every day in the office, then people will see you as a meh kinda employee. If your clothes are always wrinkled people will think you're a messy worker. And if you look incredibly professional and well put together every single day, people will subconsciously view you as a top-notch worker. Moreover, if your job involves interacting with clients or customers, your appearance can influence their perception of the company as a whole. Dressing professionally and putting together a polished appearance in the office is not just about following a set of rules; it’s about presenting yourself and your organization in the best possible light. Your attire is a reflection of your professionalism, respect for the workplace, and consideration for your colleagues and clients. By investing in your professional image, you invest in your own success and contribute positively to the overall work environment.

Lovingly, Elle

Don't fall for the lie of "doing everything in moderation", following that line of thought will never lead you to achieve anything exceptional. Some things you simply do not do, because you prioritize your end goal and vision above quick pleasures that are counterproductive to your growth as person and we'll being. Don't let anyone shame for being "extreme" in areas you refuse to compromise on, extreme people produce extreme results.

Not too long ago I had an anon ask me how to fake it till she makes it in manifesting her luxury lifestyle. I gave a bit of advice (you should read that before finishing this) but I want to elaborate more on a certain aspect that is crucial to obtaining an ideal life: becoming your ideal self. That ask was focused on lifestyle, but what about the self glow-up? That’s where this guide comes in. I see a lot of guides where the OP tells you the type of woman you should become, and it’s usually based on their own idea of what is desirable. This is different. This is a barebones guide that requires you to think hard about yourself and what would satisfy you to live in your own skin. To no longer wish to be anyone else. To be the best version of YOU. Who is the the ideal woman you are aspiring to be?

Here’s how to start:

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Step 1: describe your dream girl and create a list of 12 essential qualities/skills she has. Things that are controllable by a person themselves, not reliant on another person or location. (Good: she drinks tea every day. Bad: her boyfriend makes tea for her every day)

Step 2: make a list of how you can acquire those qualities

Step 3: dedicate one quality to each month of the year and for every single day of that month, cultivate habits that will make those qualities now belong to you. 30 days is a great amount of time to build a habit that you can continue on with even after the target date has passed. It’s not too long to feel scary but it’s long enough to make really good progress. Plus you won’t feel overwhelmed about doing all of these new things at once. Just one quality at a time :)

Step 4: after 12 months, you will have dedicated 365 days to your own personal growth and transformation and will now emerge a brand new woman.

To make this even easier on you, I will create an example using a mix of things that are about me.

My dream girl is: a beautiful and fit domestic goddess who speaks multiple foreign languages, plays instruments, is a wiz in the kitchen, and has a killer style

12 qualities to create her:

Takes expert care of her outward appearance

Eats healthy and works out every day

Speaks french

Speaks korean

Speaks spanish

Plays piano

Cooks a proper meal every day

Always dresses well no matter what

Keeps her home spic and span

Manages her emotions well to always be kind and composed to others instead of combative and volatile

Is a minimalist

Studies hard in school

(When you make your list of 12 qualities, don’t worry about making them perfectly correspond to a certain month just yet. First, just get them all written down and then you can rearrange it later. For the sake of this, let’s just pretend that mine are in a perfect order as is)

January: takes expert care of her outward appearance

For January, I will spend 31 days focused on beauty. Every single morning and night I will do my skincare routine, a face mask, use my serums and exfoliants (when necessary), and make sure to apply sunscreen. I will get a skincare consultation if needed, I will schedule a dentist appointment or do at home teeth whitening treatments. I will take a bubble bath once a day and always make sure that I’m exfoliated. I will always make time to shave/wax/epilate/whatever and maintain manicured nails and eyebrows. My hair care will be completely on point because my hair will always be deep conditioned, well moisturized, and styled to perfection.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of taking care of your external appearance and will be used to looking and feeling a certain way)

February: eats healthy and works out every day

For February, I will find a list of healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and make sure to use them as my eating guide. I will watch my calories and eat foods that nourish my body. I will cut out sugary drinks and extra sweets and do a workout for at least 30 minutes every day. I will watch a lot of content on health and fitness to keep me on track and make sure that I know what I’m doing.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of making and eating healthy foods, have a 30 day workout streak, and will have a new relationship with your health and fitness. Because you have successfully committed a whole month to this lifestyle, it will be easier to keep it going to reach your body goals)

March: speaks French

For March, I will study french every day for at least an hour. I will watch french movies and tv shows, learn grammar and memorize vocabulary. I will always keep my flashcards on an app and study them frequently so that I don’t forget anything. I will find a french language exchange partner online and talk to them everyday so they can correct my mistakes.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will now be in the habit of studying a foreign language for a dedicated amount of time each and every day. This will get you to a strong start and make it much easier for you to continue learning the language as time moves forward)

November: is a minimalist

For November I will focus on living a minimalist lifestyle and being intentional with the items I allow into my space. I will go through my whole house and declutter all of the things that I don’t need. I will not buy things this month unless they are essentials to me and my growth. I will watch/read a lot of content on consumerism and try to understand why I own so many things. I will have a better relationship with my possessions and take better care of the things I own so that I won’t need to keep buying new ones.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will form a better relationship with your possessions and learn to let go of unimportant things. This will build the habit of being mindful of the things you allow into your space and allowing you to make better buying choices in the future)

You get the idea. So basically you will elaborate on each of the 12 qualities and make it very clear what your daily goals are for that month. The most important thing is to stick to it. You have to build the habit so that it becomes your new normal. This is how you acquire a new lifestyle and persona. You do it every day until it’s your default setting. You don’t call someone an a good student because they got an A one time, right? You call them a good student because they consistently demonstrate the actions that makes one a good student on a daily basis.

“But 2pretty! How can I stick to these things every day? What if I don’t feel like it sometimes?”

It’s all about discipline and consistency. Having your effort correspond to how badly you want something. Focusing on the big picture and sacrificing a little bit of comfort. Choosing to be your most excellent self rather than the easiness of staying the same. Growth is hard! But that’s what makes it worth it.

You all can sit here and read level up posts until you turn blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, The Ideal You can only emerge if you put in the work to become her. I believe in you.

I can’t wait to meet the new you in 12 months. See ya then.

Hypergamy Harsh Truth?

The only thing I can really say is that men don’t want to date losers so do something with yourself and with your life. No one wants to spend their precious time with someone who they view as a burden or a waste of time, no one wants to waste their life away with someone who has nothing going on for them and is just a pretty face, and no one wants to hear endless talk about the soft life or other vapidness or spend the best years of their life with someone who’s never been able to grow up. You’re not a teenager anymore, it’s not cute to have never grown up and it’s not fair to expect others to stand by you whilst you fuck around. If you have nothing going on for you, if you’ve never lived outside of your family home or you’re incapable of working a job, and if you can’t take care of yourself then you cannot reasonably expect someone else to want to do that for you. The amount of emotional labour and sometimes even physical labour that goes into beginning and maintaining a relationship is intense and you’re not going to develop those skills overnight and you’re also shit out of luck if you don’t have basic social skills or the ability to create or maintain surface level friendships or relationships, you need confidence and you’re not going to gain those skills from anything I tell you. You need to get outside and actually work.

I'm intentional with every decision I make and every decision aligns with the pursuit of where I want to be.

2023 wrap up

Make a list of things that describe you. Use binary terms. Yes or no’s. Don’t try to soften the blow, just be honest. For example: I wake up at 10am. I work out once a month. I always get to work on time. I do my skincare routine typically 5 out of 7 times a week. I always get A’s and B’s. Etc etc

Mark which of those items are things you are proud of and want to continue and which you want to change.

Make a list of the things you want to describe you. For example: I want to wake up at 7am. I want to exercise daily. I want to eat clean at least 2 out of 3 meals a day. I want to speak fluent Spanish. Etc etc

Make detailed notes on how you can quit the things you want to quit and acquire the things you want to acquire.

Do it.

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Introduction to the Girl-boss by Day Grandma by Night Era

This era is all about embracing your highest self by focusing on career growth, self-improvement, and relying on a supportive community of like-minded women. It’s a time for productivity, success, and expanding knowledge—while nurturing creativity and self-expression. Ideally, this is a time to invest fully in yourself, uplift others, and build a foundation of success, knowledge, and meaningful connections.

Girlboss Mindset:

★This mindset mainly focuses on career, financial, and personal growth.

★Grind in school and/or work: prioritize studying, aim for all As, get the promotion, network with intention, dress for success, and continue honing professional skills

★Engage in self-improvement workshops (solo or group) once or twice a week on topics like public speaking, financial literacy, tackling your weaknesses, learning important skills, etc.

★Intellectual enrichment and skill building: read daily, listen to audiobooks, learn new skills or hobbies (like learning a language or DIY projects)

★Stay active & healthy: set a workout routine and stick to it, learn self-defense, do weekly pilates and core strengthening, start running, and stick to a healthy diet plan with real food

★Be proactive and cautious: get the fazer pepper spray or other protection, run errands (gym, store) during the day, avoid going out alone at night (even in safe areas), and stay aware of your surroundings.

★Civic duty: listen to informative podcasts from neutral/objective sources (NPR on spotify), if possible participate in public forums and town halls, engage with elected representatives, volunteer, and stay informed for every election especially local

Grandma Mindset:

★This mindset primarily focuses on self-expression and self-care through fulfilling activities and a supportive community of like-minded women.

★Get into gardening & live a self-sufficient life— you can start off with a small garden with herbs you use regularly.

★Set aside time each day for self-expression through nurturing old passions or new ones like journaling, poetry, art, crafting, sewing, etc.

★Prioritize self-care through meditation, grounding techniques, self-love practices, etc

★Shift your social energy from clubbing/bars/dating apps to meaningful connections and prioritizing activities that bring out your best self.

✧Instead of paying to party and being around strangers, try hosting/attending house gatherings, book clubs, wine nights, potlucks, etc with women & trusted allies.

✧Embrace alone time, create a regimen, do self care, do things independently, etc

✧Build a supportive community of women where you can connect, express your thoughts, and share experiences. This space allows for open discussions about potentially harmful/sketchy situations or people, helping everyone stay informed and safe.

✧Redefine dating: focus on self-growth and consider celibacy or, at the very least, raise your standards. Take time to get to know anyone new and prioritize safety by meeting in public spaces and avoiding going back to their place if you barely know them. Also trust your intuition.

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A little update on what I've been focusing on 💗

As I mentioned before I'm putting 70% of my effort into my studies at the moment and so far I'm having so much fun

It's become an addictive hobby if I'm being honest ,I've gotten a genuine thirst for knowledge and to be a master at whatever I do!

It's been a long road but I'm surely making my way back to the top ranks and it's internally fulfilling.

Here are some things I've contemplated over the time

☁️Exercise is essential☁️

Moving my body always seems to increase my brain power. After things like Yoga and pilates I'm so receptive to new information plus the added feeling of bodily bliss.

☁️The world waits for no one☁️

The world isn't going to stop for a few minutes for you to decide to do a workout. The world isn't going to stop for you to procrastinate of your work. The world isn't going to stop for you to get yourself together.

Things keep moving every second, contemplating over nothing or whether to do something you need to do or not to do it, is an utter waste of time sometimes. You are literally abusing yourself by being your own blockage to an array of possibilities.

Don't be the one at 50, crying, wishing you would've worked out more or could've studied harder in your youth.

☁️Journalling☁️

One of the best additions to my life, it helps me keep track of everything and document and organise my thoughts.

I highly recommend starting, because sometimes your brain over complicates things and the best solution would be to write it down and solve it logically on paper.

☁️Avoid the unhappy and unorganized☁️

It might sound a bit mean and by all means help these people if you can but be very careful, don't be dragged into their habits. Don't be dragged into their mindsets. Be wary as misery loves company. It's like an infection of sorts which recruits those who want to help at certain times.

Keep your standards when around people who sadly suffer with issues like these.

☁️Preparation is your best friend☁️

In academics, one of the best things you can always do is study the whole book you are given briefly. Knowing what's ahead is extremely helpful and is a big advantage in many situations.

☁️Don't be afraid to say the old version of you died☁️

You are like water, forever changing and I see some people holding onto their false identities and becoming like a rock in a flowing river.

I believe it's healthy to shed your skin once in a while.

I have changed so much, during the years and I have come to terms with throwing away my old template and creating a new one to suit my present self.

☁️Develope hobbies☁️

Not for other people but just for you in general, I wear my skills and knowledge like accolades on my body.

Being a multi faceted being adds so much more zest to yourself and your life.

Over the years I have picked up things like :

Pottery (I make little pots in whatever style I want to store my jewellery)

Art (I'm well educated in pastels, painting, drawing, you name it!)

Music (Sadly this used to be my best skill but I lost a lot of experience during the years, I used to be able to play 5-7 instruments and it would always be a fun surprise at events, I always used to go play piano at my aunt's house with her daughter who was an expert at it)

Literature ( One of my favourites. Reading, learning, analysing and immersing yourself into the hand written creation of another. You learn so much from viewing things from the lense of another)

Those are just a few that you can easily start with!

☁️Pick up a community sport☁️

Lots of networking happens at sports events and being part of them would be very beneficial to you.

Save up for high quality equipment and try a sport.

Horse riding and Tennis are my favourite!

I love my horse and the sport in general is full of wonderful competitive people.

Tennis is so fierce but beautiful as well.

Tennis is a game of love and many great friendships can be formed on a court.

Get yourself a good quality and firm gripped racket and give it a try.

☁️Get in touch with your spiritual side (if you're into that stuff)☁️

I feel the most grounded and balanced when I practice my spirituality.

It's a little addition that makes life so much brighter for me.

my intentional morning routine:

-I wake up around 6 AM, instead of immediately getting on my phone like I used to. I lay in bed for a couple of minutes, allowing my body to realize the transition it is making.

-After that, I immediately drink a full bottle of water. This is pretty easy for me because when I wake up, I’m usually dehydrated even if I don’t realize it yet my body does. I’m able to do this quickly and easily by grabbing a water bottle the night before. By the time I wake up it’s usually warm, warm/hot liquids are actually very beneficial to your digestive system. This helps my digestive system get a head start on the day.

-I move onto making my bed. A step I never used to incorporate because I always felt it was unnecessary but once my bed is made I rarely want to ruin the work I’ve created which urges me to not get back in it.

-Tea. I always drink some type of tea in the morning, my go-tos being ginger or green. This is another thing that I do for my digestive system as well as overall calmness. Instead of doing another task while having my tea, I like to enjoy it and simply take gratitude in the drink.

-I then go into breath work, I do a Nadi Shodhana technique of alternate nostril breathing, as someone with severe anxiety breathing has become a big part of my journey in managing it. Even if I’m not feeling anxious I love to get a head start on it (something I learned from my therapist). I tend to do this practice for a few minutes and find my body in a completely calm state afterward.

The Technique:

*Sit in a comfortable position for me this is usually with my legs crossed.

*Place your ring finger on your left nostril and your thumb on the right.

*Cover your right nostril and breathe in through your left, cover your left nostril and exhale through your right nostril and repeat.

*When you are finally done with this practice exhale fully out of your left nostril.

-The next thing I like to do is engage in prayer and gratitude. I have created a specific prayer that I repeat every morning, although it changes when needed. I simply express gratitude by writing out everything that I am thankful for in that moment in my journal.

-I then move onto hygiene and breakfast which I’ll usually have a smoothie or oatmeal if I’m not fasting.

And that’s my intentional morning routine!

Your home is an extension of your energy field. That’s why habits such as cleaning your home, getting rid of unnecessary clutter, opening all the windows and keeping your environment positive can have an impact on our mind, body and spirit. Take care of your safe space.