“The Prince Just Fell In Love With Cinderella Because Of Her Looks!”

“The prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!”

Wrong. Okay, picture this–

So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway–” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then… he sees her–This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes. 

She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like… definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.

 And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh–hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.

She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.

See here’s the thing about Cinderella:

1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food. 

2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.

So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.

She… seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family– is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?

Oh.

Oh wait.

Oh shit.

And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey–Hey–it’s cool–you’re cool–I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can–”

And then the bell starts ringing.

It’s midnight.

And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, he’s pretty sure whatever situation they’re headed back to is fucked up, and all he’s got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe. 

More Posts from Malificandy and Others

11 months ago

I found it so bizarre when I came across posts on Tumblr talking about a random Palestinian online influencer by her first name (yeah, I know she has a "press" vest, so people call her a journalist. Seriously laughing at anyone thinking or pretending like there's any free press in Gaza. If you're Gazan and have a "press" vest, you got it from Hamas, or it was at some point approved by Hamas). But it's not just the way they talked about her by her first name, as if she was someone they personally knew, and therefore could fully trust, it's the way that there were instructions passed on from her to the masses reading the posts. "Bisan said" this and "Bisan asked that we" that, and I felt like I was reading the instructions of a cult leader being passed down to the cult members. Honestly, it might as well have said, "Saint Bisan" the way that she's quoted like her every word is to live and die by.

Examples will be attached to the end of this post.

Anyway, turns out Saint Bisan has asked people to donate to her and other Gazans, and then just decided to keep all that money to herself? What a shocker.

And I'm gonna stress again she's got some sort of a connection to Hamas, or she wouldn't be able to pass herself off as a journalist. That's where everyone's money has gone to. Someone with at the very least ties to a genocidal, antisemitic terrorist organization, responsible for the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, with their only greater victim being the Palestinians themselves, when Hamas uses them as human shields or directly kills them.

Anyway, here's just two random examples of some cult-like posts with instructions from "Saint" Bisan...

I Found It So Bizarre When I Came Across Posts On Tumblr Talking About A Random Palestinian Online Influencer
I Found It So Bizarre When I Came Across Posts On Tumblr Talking About A Random Palestinian Online Influencer

Oh, and I just read that before the war, her family's home and her office were in the neighborhood of Rimal. Before the Oct 7 massacre, that was considered a luxury neighborhood, and ONLY people affiliated with Hamas were rich enough that they could afford to live there. She's been saying that she's Hamas all along. People just don't know the nuances of her language.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)


Tags
11 months ago
Hoopla, Overdrive/Libby Now Banned for Those Under 18 in Mississippi
BOOK RIOT
Public libraries in Mississippi have cut off access to digital platforms like Overdrive and Hoopla to those under 18.

I never want to hear conservatives go on about repressive censorship in China, North Korea, and Iran ever again

1 year ago

For the Nonnie who asked me to share some of the response to the performative "all eyes on Rafah" campaign, I hope it's okay if I add to the two images you sent me, and turn to the people sharing that AI generated image...

If all eyes are on Rafah, are you seeing Hamas' abuse, torture and even killing of its own Gazan civilians?

("Resistance is justified when people are occupied!" Cool cool, but what kind of a "resistance" attacks its own people?)

If all eyes are on Rafah, where were your eyes on Oct 7?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, 'coz Gazan kids being burned alive (by Hamas, even though Israel got falsely blamed for it) is so unacceptable, then where were your eyes when our kids were burned alive by Hamas? In the pic: 2 years old Omer Siman Tov, who was deliberately burned alive by Hamas terrorists together with his entire family, his parents and two older sisters, in their own home.

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, do you see Kfir Bibas, kidnapped at the age of 9 months together with both his parents and his 4 years old brother Ariel? Kfir is the youngest hostage in the world ever (second youngest ever was Charles Augustus Lindbergh Jr., who was kidnapped at 20 months old in 1932).

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, are you seeing our other molested hostages?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, are you seeing Hamas' rocket launchers which continuously operate and target our civilians from there? (note the dates vary from Dec 7, 2023 to May 26, 2024)

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, where the IDF did strike and kill two senior Hamas leaders, Yassin Rabia and Khaled Najjar, near (but not at) a shelter tent camp, are you seeing that Hamas deliberately chooses to risk its own civilians by having its leaders carry out consultation meetings so close to regular people?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, why did you see the rescue of two of our elderly hostages (and the killing of the terrorists who tried to prevent the success of this operation) as a massacre? And why did you claim this was Israel invading Rafah back on Feb 12 already, when the actual ground operation in that city only started in May?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah because you care about the Palestinians so much, where were your eyes when Palestinians were endangered and killed by fellow Arabs?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If all eyes are on Rafah, where almost a million people have been evacuated by May 20 already, then whose eyes are on Sudan, Congo, Yemen, Syria, Iran, Ukraine among other places, where the murders of hundreds of thousands in each (and altogether, millions) is being carried on unchallenged? Where are the campaigns for the people whose slaughter you can't weaponize against the Jewish state?

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,
For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

If you shared that graphic, but didn't do anything about any of the other things listed in this post, you don't actually care. You just want to seem as if you do.

For The Nonnie Who Asked Me To Share Some Of The Response To The Performative "all Eyes On Rafah" Campaign,

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

11 months ago

reminder that visibly religious people belong at pride. that person wearing a hijab is not a threat to you. that person wearing tzitzit and a kippah is not a threat to you. someone simply wearing an item that is culturally or religiously important to them is not a threat to you. however, your aggression upon seeing a religious person at pride is a threat to them.

11 months ago

It's a real banger...

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malificandy - salt, spite, & everything slight
salt, spite, & everything slight

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