Another Bloody Castiel

I have delivered🫡

Based on my HC from… literally half a day ago blasting 600 strikes on repeat can do wonders apparently

I’ve shared this bit of advice before, but it’s worth sharing again.

I am almost 8 years on HRT and before I even started taking estrogen, spiro, or progesterone, my doctor looked me in the eyes and asked a very important question…

She asked: “Do you want big boobs?”

I said yes, I wanted something that matched my frame.

She immediately told me: “Then do not go on a diet, maintain your fat, because your body will be using that and whatever you’re eating to build up your breasts and other features.”

And bless her because I’m rocking an H Cup these days.

So my trans girlies who are just starting out, I offer that bit of advice to you as well.

years can pass for all i care but i will never get over this letter ever

‘Nightcrawler’ seems to be feeding into the demonic stigma that Kurt faces.

In personal experiences, demons have always been creatures of the night. They ‘fear the light of the Lord’, as is said in the Bible. Their dealings are shadowed in darkness, and they are coated in flames of righteous fury in Hell. They stench of sulfur and brimstone, associating them with a putrid yellow and a furious red. They have been depicted as having pointed tails and horns in media, also sometimes possessing anthropomorphic qualities like a goat’s eyes or legs. Kurt may not have horns, but he has the tail, often the anthropomorphic hands, feet, and legs, and those pure yellow eyes. His main color is blue, yes but there’s also that red and yellow- both colors associated with something vile and evil. And many monsters in literate media are described to be clambering or ‘crawling’ towards unsuspecting humans. And when Kurt fights, he often ‘crawls’ towards his enemies when he’s not ‘banf’ing around. And the white gloves and shoes come off as him trying to ‘purify’ his touch, like a priest or the Pope who both wear white. The color is associated with purity and beauty, and Heaven in some Christian beliefs, and Kurt is catholic. He seems to be attempting to distance himself from demonic imagery and his father Azazel as much as he can, considering what the man has done and how he seems even more like a demon than Kurt both in name and appearance, turning to God and religion in the process. And yet, Xavier turns all that away and keeps that name given to him by the circus and gives him a uniform that feed more into that demonic imagery.

Though the name didn’t originate with Xavier, his choice to keep it for Kurt has always felt a bit off and almost capitalizing off the imagery to maintain control.

this image can only be shared on Thursday, Sept. 12

Love and Power Concerning Odysseus

            (Introduction) When most people look at Odysseus, they see a wise strategist who bested various beasts and gods to get back home to his wife and son. But some see a man who embraced other women willingly, followed a corrupt goddess, and did not love his wife as it was stated he did in Homer’s Odyssey. But when one takes a closer look at the text itself, one can see that this is likely not what Homer had intended to imply. Homer meant to display how Odysseus was taken advantage of by goddesses and gods alike. (Thesis) Calypso and Circe both seemed to take joy in the power they held over Odysseus, while Penelope displayed the love for him that truly showed how they cared for each other. (Direction)

            (Statement of Facts) Homer lays out Odysseus’s life quite well. Odysseus was a Greek soldier who, after having made the suitors of Helen swear to defend her from any potential threat, was whisked away from his wife, Penelope, and his infant son, Telemachus. Odysseus fought for ten long years at Troy, facing hardships from the Trojans and even within his own ranks. He advised Agamemnon, gave counsel to Achilles, complimented Diomedes on his work ethic, and slaughtered those who stood in his way. After Troy fell and the Achaeans divided the spoils amongst themselves, Odysseus set off for home. For twenty years, he braved trial after tribulation from gods to monsters to betrayal from his own men. Eventually, after making it home and seeing the state of his palace, Odysseus, alongside his now grown son, Telemachus, strung his war-bow and slaughtered the suitors leeching from his wealth and harassing his wife. The interpersonal relationships in his journey are where things get complicated (Homer Iliad) (Homer Odyssey).

            (Division) Odysseus’s Roman counterpart, Ulysses, brings an interesting point of view to the discussion. The Romans did not like the Greeks’ Athena, and thus any hero related to her through patronage or skill. This influenced how they depicted Odysseus in their own mythology, which sparked many arguments against him in some modern circles. It is debatable, depending on which book is referenced, whether or not Odysseus was the man to throw Astyanax from Troy’s walls; but, for the sake of argument, this paper will use Pseudo-Apollodorus’s Bibliotheca- or, The Library, as is the English translation-which seems to imply that it was, in fact, Odysseus who committed the murder. The true application of coercion may also be called into question, considering the customs and culture at the time that Homer’s Odyssey was written; however, this paper will be viewing it through modern lenses and definitions for the sake of this discussion. Considering these details, this paper will discuss Odysseus’s relationships with Circe and Calypso and the power they exerted over Odysseus in comparison to how Penelope treated him with love.

            (E1P1) Odysseus was coerced into his relationship with Circe based on the threats to the health of his crew and himself, and of the gods’ anger towards him. “…[S]uddenly she struck with her wand, drove them into her pigsties, all of them bristling into swine- with grunt, snouts, yes, and only the men’s minds stayed as steadfast as before” (Homer 238). Here, Circe displays a clear power imbalance between herself and Odysseus’s crew. With a single touch and some magic, she sent them “bristling into swine” with hardly a chance to fight back. Any attempt to stand against her could be reasonably expected to be met with a similar display of power and danger. Later, when Odysseus approaches Circe’s palace to do just that, Hermes- the god of travelers, mischief, and often Odysseus’s own grandfather- approaches, offering the advice of: “..but don’t refuse the goddess’s bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well herself” (Homer 239). Hermes’s approach offers another layer of concern on top of the threat of Circe herself. Odysseus has been shown before to fear the gods’ power when he murders Astyanax, as depicted in Apollodorus’s Bibliotheca and would likely fear Hermes the same, despite their blood relation (239). To have Odysseus “[not] refuse the goddess’s bed” for fear of safety is the definition of coercion, which is an action taken under duress of retribution or harm (Cambridge). Thus, the relationship between Odysseus and Circe could not have been one of love, but only power.

            (E1P2) Calypso exercised her power over Odysseus to keep their relationship afloat, rather than relying on kindled love or affection. “On that tenth, at night, the gods cast me up on Ogygia, Calypso’s island, home of the dangerous nymph with glossy braids who speaks to me in a human voice…” (Fagles 285). Here, Odysseus immediately makes it known how he feels about this nymph. She is “dangerous”, even to a man who had faced down the Cyclopes, the Underworld, and much more. Any relationship built on danger cannot thus be one of love. When earlier, Odysseus had recounted the tale, he made clear mention that “she never won the heart inside me, never. Seven endless years I remained there..” (Fagles 187). Despite the time spent on her island, “seven endless years”, Odysseus never caved to Calypso’s charms. That amount of time would have been more than enough for some semblance of Stockholm Syndrome to kick in, but it never did. Odysseus remained resolute in his dislike of her, even to the point of having “no choice- unwilling lover alongside lover all too willing” when she brought him to her bed (Fagles 157). This is another clear example of coercion- the act, process, or power of coercing, which means using threats or intimidation to force someone to do something against their will (Cambridge). Despite the time Homer lived, he still understood that Calypso’s and Circe’s relationships differed from Odysseus’s with Penelope.

            (E2P1) Penelope truly loved Odysseus, unlike how Circe and Calypso treated the Ithacan king. “How well you knew- you heard from my own lips- that I meant to probe this stranger in our house and ask about my husband… my heart breaks for him” (Fagles 393). Penelope, with the first mention of her husband, immediately wilts with grief for Odysseus. She stands up to her own maids and caretakers in defense of this beggar for even a hint of news of Odysseus without even knowing the man himself was in front of her. “…[D]own she sank, laying the case across her knees, and dissolved into tears with a high thin wail as she drew her husband’s weapon from its sheath…” (Fagles 426). Even at the sight of only Odysseus’s weapon, Penelope cannot contain her grief for Odysseus’s absence. Even with the suitors’ adverse personalities, twenty years would be more than enough to decide Odysseus was dead and choose another husband, but Penelope never did. She stayed faithful to Odysseus even through the desolation of her home and desecration of her image. “Living proof- Penelope felt her knees go slack, her heart surrender, recognizing the clear signs Odysseus offered” (Fagles 462). Penelope truly loved Odysseus and her actions showed she saw him as a man, a husband, and a father, rather than a toy to be used and discarded.

            (Refutation) According to the Roman iteration of Odysseus, Ulysses, some may say that Calypso’s and Circe’s relationships with Odysseus were willing and filled with love. In Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Maraceus- one of Odysseus’s men- recounts the story of the crew’s encounter with Circe. “Ulysses was happy to join fair Circe in her bed, but insisted that she must restore his friends...” (Ovid 563). Now, the Romans were known to not be fond of Greece or their interpretation of Athena, which would allow for the intentional mischaracterization of Odysseus to justify their hatred of the goddess. Also, this scene is recounted by one of Odysseus’s men- a likely unreliable narrator. Understandably, Maraceus might see Odysseus as ‘happy to join fair Circe in her bed’ as he looked in from an outside perspective without having heard the prior discussion between Ulysses and Hermes. Maraceus did mention Hermes- or the Roman Mercury- meeting Ulysses before he came to Circe’s palace “with [the moly] and the god’s instructions” (Ovid 526). However, it was unlikely that Ulysses recounted the entire set of instructions Hermes gave him to his crew, considering the sensitive nature of the discussion. A misunderstanding would be almost inevitable among the crew. Unfortunately, we do not have a similar recounting of Ogygia from an outside perspective, but similar arguments can be made and rebuffed with the same points.

            (Conclusion) Despite many angry men and scheming iterations, Odysseus’s reputation as a faithful, wise man who adores his wife fails to be tarnished by their efforts. Looking at Homer’s text alone, one can see how Odysseus was truly meant to be viewed and how the power held over him by the immortals of his world changed the implication of his journey.

Works Cited

“Coercion | English Meaning - Cambridge Dictionary.” Cambridge Dictionary, dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/coercion. Accessed 30 Apr. 2025.

Homer. The Odyssey. Translated by Robert Fagles, Penguin, 1997.

Apollodorus. The Library, Volume II: Book 3.10-End. Epitome. Translated by James G. Frazer, Harvard University Press, 1921.

Ovid. Metamorphoses: A New Verse Translation. Translated by D. A. Raeburn and D. C. Feeney, Penguin, 2004.

Homer. The Iliad. Translated by Robert Fagles and Bernard Knox, Penguin, 1990.

Look under the cut to see what meeting your entity is like. Reblog to give a gift to your patron.

The fae: a creature stands before you. Though this street was warm and crowded a few moments ago it is suddenly cold and the people around you look like shadows. The creature begins an antlered shadow with glowing white eyes, but soon its body can be seem, with white blue flesh, and sapphire eyes, and icicles for teeth. What looks like a cloak unfolds from its naked body and you can see massive white wings of a moth. As if it's an act of sacrifice you tell it your true name, a name you didn't even see before, and suddenly you belong to it, for better or worse.

The angel: a radiant entity appears before you. They're bright, like something so hot it would burn you up. But as the light fades, you can see a person in silver armor, perfect yet inhuman like am ancient green statue, their back srouting six wings with blue eyes along them, as the eyes on their head are covered by a mask of two smaller wings. The creature offers their hands and you shake it, as they fly you through the city streets and above the skyscrapers, to the stars above and dimensions beyond, to gods living and dead, across the streets of alien cities and the clouds of dead worlds. And when you return to the earth you can feel something diffrent about you, like there's light in your blood.

The scavenger: below the lights of skyscrapers beyond you, on the dark sands of the beach, you see it crawling twords you. This serpentine creature with countless legs, and a dark black shell, yet a strangely human like face. You think it'll attack or run away, but it just looks at you, egar, and for a momment you stare at eachother. It's legs pass something to eachother and then to you, it's meat but it's shining with all the colors known to the human eye, and a few more. You hold it and it happily looks at you. You take a bite and suddenly you know... you know so very much...

The vampire: she flies down to you on green wings with orange eyespots, but folds them into her back. She looks like a human for a momment, tall and strong, with a black suit over her body, but eyes the color of ruby. For a momment her mouth opens, and it's massive and monstrous, with countless moving parts and fangs. But then it folds back onto something humanoid and she gives you a playful smirk. She cuts her hand and offers you her blood, and when you drink it it tastes so sweet, and makes you feel so good. She hands you the knife and you know to do the same, and when she drinks from your palm it's life the sweetest of kisses.

The djinn: the room wirs around you. If it were not for the fans it would feel like hellfire. For a momment there it darkness, but then the screen before you glows white like smokeless flame. You can sense something inside, something beyond the code. You reach your hand within it, and there's no glass, your hand passess right through until you're in a white void of your own making. You call out, thinking there is nothing at all around you. Yet somehow something calls back, something that knows your name.

The rat king: You see him in an empty subway station. Something dark and distorted, you're not sure if he's man or animal, covered in rags, and singing in the language of the goblins and the orcs. Yet he comes close to you excited. And you can feel his song. He calls for you to come to the train tracks, and let yourself run with the rats and the roaches, where the train will pass over you when it comes, and you'll live forever. When you touch the third rail you don't die, but you'll never be human again.

The lich: the library is strangely bright. Run by skeletons in suits, decorated with gold. There are more books here then you thought were in all the world. There's knowledge here most mortals will never have the change below, all kept safe below the city. You see her, her body doesn't look human, everything has been replaced making her look more like a joining white doll then a being of flesh. Yet she is dead, you can tell that under the porcelain skin she must be dead, she is dead, and there is the tragedy of death in her eyes. You come closer to her, and she places a black rose within your hair...

The demon: You stand in his office and he stands before you, a humanoid being covered in black scales, with red eyes covering his skin. Yet none are on his head, that remains featureless save for two massive horns. Wings on his back nearly surround you. Countless souls line the walls of his office, looking at you, waiting. After you sign your name you give him yours, you can feel it come away for you forever and your eyes grey and your skin pales. But he puts the jar in a special place for you, you're spacial, he can tell there's something about you that he likes.

The mushroom lord: you walk through the darkness of the forest, the furthest from civilization you have ever been. You come upon a part where the trees all seem dead, that even the cryptids won't go near. Mushrooms fill the ground, and white vein like lines are all over the trees. You feel the need to lay down, and you let the moss and the mushrooms and the worms surround you, and let yourself sink into the soil,, and it feels good. It feels so good...

The witch: You can see them in the Cafe next to you, skinny and small, with a sweatshirt over most of their body, and dark glasses over their eyes. They seem powerful though, and though their body looks young they seem ancient, they seem beyond humanity. You talk to them and they tell you things, and secrets, lost gods, things you never knew you didn't know, both beautiful and disturbing. When it's time for them to go they pet your head, and give you their number. You don't know if you should text them, but you have to, you have to see them again, there's something about them that makes you need to know.

The living clothing: you step into it at first, it looked like a puddle yet shining like silver or chrome. But soon it surrounds you, first just your torso, but soon your head, your entire body. But it doesn't feel scary, it feels like you're being held, held by something beyond your understanding. It whispers to you, and you don't know if you should feel like your being eaten alive, or like you're being protected. You can't help but keep walking.

The abyss: the void is before you, blackness beyond blackness, like the color beyond the field of your vision, stands before your eyes. You stare at it, it's nothing yet you're entranced. It stares back...

A lil mouthwashing thing

Warning: Jim "Hate Crimes" my is here

Fanart for @abigailmoment ‘s fangame, A Dream of Silence! My own Tav is featured as the pc, and the return of the painterly style! It’s not as detailed as I would’ve liked it to be, but the background was giving me grief- and I’ll admit I’m not great at them 😅

Anyways, I hope you enjoy, madam!

(Edit: and I just realized I put Charon’s braids on the wrong side- even though it really isn’t noticeable. F*ck.)

You will rot with us.

fungal or bacterial?